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44 out of 50 people found the following review useful:

Destroying a Classic!

2/10
Author: mikestaley78 from Baltimore
23 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I like a lot of viewers had high hopes going into this movie. Usually I am a Rob Zombie fan, as he has made some good horror flicks in the past. This however was not one of them. I agree with a lot of folks that the back story on Mikey's upbringing made him seem human and not as scary as the original. The original Michael never uttered a sound except the disturbing breathing sounds uttered from his mask. This character talked for probably the first 30 minutes and actually was kind of funny when he was talking to Dr. Loomis. He seemed like a dorky kid who one day started slaughtering every person he encountered except his mother and baby brother? sister? I thought it was a boy until the plot developed further. When he grows up he is ridiculously huge and looks like a member of Slipknot. From here the movie really begins to derail badly. Shamelessly ripping off lines from the first movie, quick sex and even quicker violence is only half the problem with this movie. My personal favorite was the Ben Trammer reference from the first movie that was thrown in there for obvious comic effect. Where Rob Zombie really failed in this movie was how Laurie Strode was portrayed. In the original Jamie Lee Curtis was a sweet, naive girl who was scared to talk to boys and had an innocence about her. This incarnation of Laurie Strode is your typical high school slut,and ultimately we don't care if she lives or dies. My least favorite part of the movie was the darkness of it and the insane fight scenes between Mikey and Laurie. For like the last 30 minutes they are fighting in what seems like pitch black. I understand what Zombie was trying to do, but it was annoying. Because of this, the viewer really did not know what the hell was going on. Laurie was in the walls, the ceilings, the fence and the whole time Mikey was jabbing his knife or stick into these attempting to kill her. It was hard to even see what was going on. Then the movie has a false ending and then really ends. Who cares at this point? What a shame. My high point of the movie was seeing the lovely Danielle Harris topless for about ten minutes. All in all this movie was a waste. Poor story, bad coloring in the film, although nice topless scene with Danielle Harris. Preceed at your own risk.

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46 out of 54 people found the following review useful:

My Review...Don't spend your money!

1/10
Author: coco200066 from United States
23 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

God Awful...don't bother! The original Halloween is such a classic and in my mind no need to be remade, however if your going to remake it, please make it a good one! I personally think Rob Zombie sucks when it comes to movies, not because there isn't gore and horror but just because he sucks at making the characters and story line believable.

In this remake, you don't know if your looking at scenes from the 70's, 80's or what, yet the guy who plays Donald Pleasant's character is carrying a very modern cell phone! Malcolm McDowell is a good actor and I am surprised that he went for this part, it was very weak and I feel sorry for him that he has had to add this to movies he has been involved with! On a side note, his character seem so self absorbed in the movie that honestly I am not surprised poor Michael Myers stopped talking, he was probably hoping the good doc would shut the hell up or eventually go away lol! I could see that maybe Rob Zombie was going for the more "real" Michael Myers, a screwed up kid and why he was that way. If left at that and nothing to do with Halloween, he could have had something really good IMHO, however the constant back and forth of making Michael Myers "real" as opposed to a remake of the old movie was just annoying and God awful! My advise, AVOID THIS MOVIE WITH A TEN FOOT BARGE POLE, as we say back in the old country lol! Or if you have to absolutely see this tragedy of a bastardization of a cult classic, don't even rent it, borrow it from some other poor sap that paid the rental fee!

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46 out of 54 people found the following review useful:

Did he even watch the REAL Halloween?

1/10
Author: fatfredyfreak from Texas
15 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Why must Hollywood continue to churn out these worthless remakes? I'll be honest and say I wanted to like this movie, but I went in with low expectations. But, really, has Rob Zombie ever actually seen Halloween? Michael Myers was a normal 6 year old boy from a normal family who, suddenly, for no reason at all, put on a halloween mask, grabbed a knife, and murdered his sister. Zombie's Michael is supposed to be 11, his mother is a stripper, his dad is AWOL, and everybody, EVERYBODY, cusses worse than a sailor. As a fan of Mr Zombies music, these plot elements don't seem very new or fresh. After 10 minutes or so, I knew this was going to be just like his first 2 movies, bloody, violent, and boring. The only thing he didn't ruin was the music, and I was surprised he didn't find some way slip a hooker and a f-bomb in there. And then there was the cast. The girl paying Lourie was too short,too young, and lets be honest, too annoying. By the end, I just wanted her to shut up and go away. When I heard who was playing Dr Loomis, I was relieved. But he totally phoned it in on this one. All in all, this is Mr Zombies worst effort yet.

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43 out of 49 people found the following review useful:

Horrible remake and wannabe-horror movie

3/10
Author: dotmrt (dotmrt@yahoo.co.uk) from Estonia
21 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In the beginning we have a lazy-ass foul mouth (step-?) father nagging on everyone in the family. William Forsythe is a fine actor, but I think he really overacts on that one. Perhaps we are supposed to be disgusted of the father, but then I don't feel that we should need to feel sympathy towards Michael. Also the breakout of the ward was stupid. Guards are caught their pants down like idiots. And the "blaming scene" afterward is ridiculous. There are couple of another laughable scenes, like the girl in the end trying to get through the metal wire bed (which she actually manages) instead of simply going out of the house as the bad guy is blocked anyway. The movie has some incredibly dull and horrible dialog. And even charismatic Malcolm McDowell cannot save the day. I think that horror has been done so much better in numerous other forms that this movie is simply a redundant "money collector". To conclude my opinion, I was surprised and disappointed that was so little Rob Zombie on the soundtrack.

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49 out of 63 people found the following review useful:

Stick to grind-house horror, Rob—you're better at it!

2/10
Author: BA_Harrison from Hampshire, England
10 October 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

With its precise direction, slick cinematography, talented and likable cast, and excellent use of a particularly menacing score, John Carpenter's Halloween was a highly polished exercise in perfection. In contrast, Rob Zombie's 'reimagining' of the Michael Myers mythos is an ill-considered mess, delivering the director's grungy 'white trash' aesthetic, an incongruous soundtrack of rock classics, lots of gore and nudity, a raft of characters one couldn't give a damn about, and very little in the way of originality.

And perhaps, worst of all, Michael—the personification of evil in the original movie—is given a back story that robs the character of his status as 'the bogeyman'. He is now, like so many other movie killers, simply the product of a poor upbringing (his sister is a slut, his step-dad is a foul-mouthed drunk, and mum is a stripper). As a lank-haired ten-year old, poor little Michael is bullied, both at school and at home; one day he snaps, butchers his tormentors, and ends up incarcerated in a mental institute where he falls under the care of Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). There he remains until adulthood, too dangerous to ever be released.

Not only is all of this twaddle completely unnecessary, but it is far too long in the telling, and, by the time Zombie has finished trying to make us feel sympathetic towards his psycho, a good 40 minutes or so has passed. It seems like much longer.

Anyway, Michael eventually manages to escape (thanks to a particularly dumb guard who is, for some reason, unafraid of 7ft tall mass murderers that are built like a brick outhouse), and legs it to his home town of Haddonfield to look for his baby sister Laurie—the only remaining member of his family.

From this point on the film gets even worse, as Zombie introduces his audience to the now grown-up Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton)—a thoroughly annoying and obnoxious teen with an even more unlikeable circle of friends—and proceeds to (loosely) follow the original's plot, stealing chunks of dialogue verbatim, whilst adding his own (mostly crap) touches and choosing to omit some of Carpenter's finer moments (the excellent closet attack scene is missing, for example).

After much screaming and bloodletting, but practically no atmosphere or scares, sole survivor Laurie is rescued by Loomis, who unloads his revolver into Michael. The End. Thank goodness.

Halloween '07 is pretty much a failure on all levels: it's ugly to look at, boring to watch, and insulting to horror fans. What this film does do successfully, however, is drive home the fact that some classics should never be remade. Especially by Rob Zombie.

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53 out of 73 people found the following review useful:

Remake exists in a twilight world of originality and pure copy never manages to find its own voice, the result is really bad movie movie with a few great moments

3/10
Author: dbborroughs from Glen Cove, New York
11 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Remake/rethink of the classic John Carpenter film is a mistake. Granted in these days of redone 1970's horror classics and not so classics a remake (after 7 sequels) was inevitable, but however this got made it shouldn't have. It's too unreal to ever work and too referential of the original to ever not be compared. I'm hoping that Zombie was forced to do the film a certain way by the money men since I would hate to think that the man who gave us House of 1000 corpses and Devil's Rejects made some of the choices we see here.

The problems here start with the rethought idea of Myers as a chunky fat kid with long hair. It continues on with his foul mouthed white trash parents who's steady stream of profanity was such I have to think its a bad joke. Shall I go on to the anachronistic settings and props that mix time periods (and when is this suppose to begin anyway?) By the time Michael goes home we have about an hour to compress the events of the original, which then gets told in speedy fashion. Ultimately, as many have said, and as Thomas Harris found out about Hannibal Lechter, the whole idea of explaining the evil takes away the terror.

What really annoys the hell out of me is that as bad and as lazy the narrative restructuring is the individual sequences are top notch. In all seriousness some of the sequences where Michael kills are dynamite. The stabbing death of his older sister is frightening (and whats with that little shape. Creepy) and the escape from the basement by Laurie is masterful frenetic film making. Actually most of the killings are mini masterpieces that regrettably have no gallery to properly show them in. Once again its clear that Rob Zombie is a director to be reckoned with, just so long as he can go his own way. (And I have to say its great to see all the great 1970's name b-movie actors once more).

Not really worth bothering with, this is at best 3 or 3.5 out of 10. Recommended only for those who want to see some fleeting moments of really cool film making in an otherwise crappy film.

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109 out of 190 people found the following review useful:

Somewhat disappointing...

5/10
Author: kennyeatsbirds from United States
3 September 2007

Like many of the horror fans out there I went through my phase of being angry and disgusted that they would remake Halloween and especially that Rob Zombie would be the director to do it. This eventually wore off and I came to terms with it. I am a fan of Rob Zombie and as it got nearer to the release date I came to believe that I would probably enjoy the movie, although I figured it still wouldn't compare to the original. Hell, I was even pretty excited to go see it (It's rare these days that we get to see horror films out of Hollywood made by people who actually give a sh*t about the genre, which is why I like Zombie even though I don't find him to be a genius director or anything like that.)

Unfortunately, I was pretty disappointed with what I saw. For the most part, the first half of the movie was interesting and held my attention but once it became night time, the whole film went downhill. Essentially, like many "slasher movies" today, the last 30 minutes or so of the film turned into a string of boring chase sequences. Don't get me wrong, chase sequences are essential to these kinds of movies, but they can't carry a movie for half an hour.

It seemed to me that one of the main problems was that Zombie seemed to drop the ball when Michael Myers completely turns into a silent killer. His talent as a writer is in creating interesting characters (i.e. house of 1000 corpses & the devil's rejects), but with no personality left in his killer, the script and other characters become boring. Rob Zombie is not a suspense director and the attempts he made at it during this film were pretty lame. It wasn't scary and none of the "jump scares" worked. This isn't to say that he is a bad filmmaker, he just seems to be out of his element with this movie.

Although I thought the back story was decent and entertaining enough, I still tend to find Michael Myers a more interesting character with less back story and more mystery like in the original.

I appreciate the effort put into the movie and I have given it a rating of 5 because I still think it was probably better than what they would have made with a different writer and director, but this movie just didn't work for me.

Luckily I got to see this at a drive-in theater along with the original Halloween and Grindhouse, so the night was still pretty great.

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57 out of 87 people found the following review useful:

Unnecessary remake!

3/10
Author: JoeB131 from United States
30 December 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The problem with remakes is that if something was made wrong the first time, no one cared about it enough to try to remake it. If something was truly good enough to be a "classic", then it was just fine on its own and didn't need to be messed with.

This is the problem with Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween. He tries to deflect from the point by reminding us that John Carpenter remade "The Thing from another World" (Putting on background TV TWICE during the film, just so we didn't forget it.) Carpenter, however, took the whole concept in another direction.

Zombie does "Michael Myers, the early years". The thing that made Myers so horrifying is that he was just a normal kid where something had gone horribly wrong. Zombie decides to give him a full background with a stripper mother, an alcoholic loser father and a slutty sister, so you understand how he becomes the town psycho. It's a lot of unnecessary exposition, and he eats up half the film with it.

The Jaime Lee Curtis character is played by someone who has almost no screen presence. You don't care what Michael does to her in the end, which reduces the amount of suspense in his remake of Carpenter's work in the second half.

Finally, you have the ever so creepy Malcolm McDowell playing the Donald Pleasence character. His attempts to get through to Michael are so lame you can't believe this guy is even trying to practice psychiatry.

The rest is a Zombie gore-fest, not even worth watching.

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79 out of 135 people found the following review useful:

HOLLOW-EEN... another Devil's Reject

3/10
Author: Kashmirgrey from United States
8 September 2007

Some film makers live in a world where all men are sadistic rapists, all women are sado-masochistic tramps, violent murder is abundant and perceived as funny, and everyone uses F$#& every other word. Hey, to each their own reality, whatever...

First, let's take a short jog back in time... John Carpenter's Halloween is a film considered by many to be one of, if not the best horror films of all time. For me, what made Carpenter's 1978 classic so frightening was the not-knowing why a 10-year old kid, who came from a middle-class, two-parent family living in a nice home in a nice suburban neighborhood, would don a clown mask, and proceed to savagely butcher his older teenage sister. Why would he then remove his mask and stand outside the front of his home with an expressionless look on his face, waiting for Mom and Dad to return? What made this even more disturbing was how the perspective of the viewer was shot through the eyes of the mask so that the audience sees what Michael sees. That, and of course the fact that it all happens on a Halloween night and in cadence to a magnificently, creepy musical score. Insane asylums always conjure up unease intensifying the scene where Michael escapes from the mental institution and seizes the two doctors' station wagon amidst ghostly, mentally-disturbed patients wandering around outside. Why does Michael want to kill his sweet, younger, teenage sister Laurie Strode? Why does he wear a mask? Why can't he be killed? What, if any, is the method to his murderous madness? Why does he arrange the corpses that certain way? These questions we want to know, but at the same time, the not knowing is what makes us pause the film and check that all the windows and doors are locked.

Now let's jump to Zombie's version. Not comparing it to the original and letting it stand on its own two feet, it's just a lousy film. What kept it from "straight to DVD"? Two titles: Rob Zombie and Halloween. Zombie seems to have felt it necessary to humanize "his" Michael Meyers and attempt to provide a sympathetic explanation for Meyers' future murderous behavior, so Zombie has painted a new picture of Meyers' home. The father (William Forsythe) is an unemployed, abusive husband who has incestuous thoughts about his teenage daughter. The mom (Sheri Moon Zombie) is an attractive, but weathered, stripper. The teenage daughter (Hannah Hall) is promiscuous and cruel. There's little baby Laurie. Finally, there is 10-year old Mikey (Daeg Faerch) who is a long-haired, animal-torturing, juvenile delinquent (who looks 14). On Halloween, Meyers' snaps when two older schoolmates harass him and make sexually explicit, derogatory comments about his older sister and mother. Later, Michael, wearing a mask, beats one of the boys to death with a tree branch. Michael goes home where his father degrades him sexually. His mother leaves to strip, and worst of all, his older sister chooses a roll in the hay in lieu of taking him trick-or-treating (that warrants murder and mayhem!) So, he duck-tapes his father to his chair (managing to miraculously accomplish this while his father sleeps) and slices his throat. He then takes a baseball bat to his sister's boyfriend, and finally, after she awakes and catches him feeling her up, he slices up his older sister. Meyers' is institutionalized. After he murders a nurse with a fork his distraught mother blows her brains out. Fifteen years pass and Meyers' gets a break, escapes and proceeds to follow the plot points of the '78 original. Meyers' sister Laurie has been raised by adoptive parents in Haddonfield and Meyers' comes to hunt her down.

What did work for me, not so surprisingly, was where Zombie follows and mimics scenes from the original film. I mean, why re-invent the wheel, right? (ahem!) Meyers (Tyler Mane) portrayed as a tall, dark, and hulking Leatherface-like menace, who seems more deliberate in his behaviors in this film, was a nice tweak. No one could ever replace Donald Pleasance as Dr. Loomis, but Malcolm McDowell was a comfortable second. The connection between Meyers and his younger sister Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton) was defined intriguingly, too, I thought. Unfortunately, the more critical connection, that being the character of Laurie with the audience, is non-existent. (Just an ironic coincidence to make my point, I had to click on "MORE" on this film's IMDb.com main page to even find Strode in the Cast listing!)***10/29/2008 (Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie has since been added) But aside from these, the film is just another House of 10,000 Devil's Rejects. Knowing why Meyers becomes a monster isn't scary with Zombie's textbook serial killer explanation. I don't want to understand Meyers' inner-child. Also, this Meyers, unlike John Carpenter's original, murders with senseless abandon with no attention to suspense. A "re-imagining"? Where's the imagination? I am not anti-remakes. But when you're going to tackle an original masterpiece like Halloween, you need an adept film maker. Zombie, who seems obsessed with incest, rape, flaunting his wife on screen, gratuitous sadistic torture, and words that begin with the letter F and end with the letter K, is not such a film maker. He seems (pardon the pun) "hell-bent" on offending his audiences for the mere purpose of being offensive. What is sad is, these days offensive means controversial and controversial has become synonymous with art.

Some might say I've missed the point. My point in seeing the film was to be entertained and scared. What was your point?

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54 out of 96 people found the following review useful:

One giant failure

4/10
Author: Superunknovvn from Austria, Vienna
15 January 2008

When I heard that Rob Zombie had been chosen to remake "Halloween" I thought it was an interesting pick. Interesting as in wrong and not suited for this kind of project, but, hey, maybe that was exactly what was needed: someone who had a completely different approach to the story of a man we've all come to know so well since 1978 (why they didn't just wait one more year for the remake to coincide with the 30th anniversary of the franchise, God only knows). So, was Zombie the right choice? Nah!

Personally, I'm not a big fan of anything the man has made up until this point. Each of his previous movies has been an incoherent and chaotic mess. Zombie thinks foul language, twisted story lines and perverted freaks make for a scary horror movie. Well, not in my book, they don't. You can tell that for the remake of "Halloween" Zombie was trying to restrain himself, but his "style" still shines through. Worse still, his obvious weaknesses in writing dialog and making his actors play naturally become apparent in a story as dependent on suspense and likable characters as this one.

The whole idea of making this movie part prequel, part remake of the original is stupid. It seems like the craziest overestimation of a movie's capabilities since Sam Raimi decided to have three villains in one "Spider-Man" movie. There's just no way this whole story can be told within one motion picture. Besides, who ever really wanted to see Michael's origins? What made Michael Myers so scary in the first place was that he was an evil, dehumanized monster. Getting to know him means taking away half of his appeal.

Of course, it's hard to make a "Halloween" movie in 2007 and still surprise an audience that has seen this kind of movie countless times by now. Then again, no one forced Dimension to green-light this project in the first place. It has just been a bad idea all along and the outcome isn't even good enough to be a throwaway, by-the-numbers slasher-flick, let alone a remake of the mighty "Halloween".

Rob Zombie is to blame most of all. He turned all the characters into Southern rednecks who curse, f..k and drink 24/7. Michael Myers himself is now a long haired metal-head (who listened to KISS in the 70's because... THEY WERE MASKED! Isn't that a great analogy?). In this version of "Halloween" Laurie is a faceless heroine who is every bit as foul-mouthed as her bitchy friends. And Dr. Loomis - well, Malcom McDowell does his best, but Donald Pleasence owned this role and there's not one scene in which it isn't apparent that Pleasence could have done the job ten times better.

McDowell is still the shining light in this ensemble. Most of the cast doesn't do as well as him, most notably the "teenage" girls, but maybe they're not to blame for the horribly contrived dialog they have to recite. Then there are names like Brad Dourif, William Forsythe or Udo Kier - all very cool actors, but what purpose do they serve here in roles that mostly don't have any significance at all? It's typically Zombie to throw together people and ideas like that and hope that the sum of all he thinks is cool will be bigger than the individual parts.

What about the death scenes? Well, they are as trite as they come. There's not one original kill in the movie and some deaths have simply been lifted from the original and repeated with more blood and less tension. Add to that more than a few obvious continuity errors and some scenes that are downright laughable (for instance, when young Michael tapes his sleeping stepfather to a chair and the guy doesn't even wake up) and you got yourself one of the messiest horror movies of the year.

I like Rob Zombie for his passion about horror movies, but let's face it: the guy isn't a good director. He was given a great opportunity here and he messed it up. "Halloween" is one giant failure and an indicator for Zombie that maybe it would be better for him to give up making movies.

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