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44 out of 50 people found the following review useful:

You're No Michael Myers

3/10
Author: kirbylee70-1 from United States
17 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Rob Zombie has made a career of all things horror. From the musical group White Zombie to his own solo career, in comics with his monster fighting character El Superbeasto and into films. His first two forays, "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects" tied into one another nicely with the second film being a sequel to the first. But with his third film, "Halloween", Zombie falls short of offering not only scares but signs of a developmental director.

Everyone already knows the tale of Michael Myers, the psychopath from Haddonfield, IL, who murdered his sister only to be committed to an institution he would later escape from with the intent of more killings back home years later. While that is the basis for Zombie's film, it is not a remake but more of a retelling, a reinvention of the same character.

Here we are offered young Michael and the household he grows up in that forms his life. Michael's mother (Sheri Moon Zombie) is a stripper, saddled with a new husband (William Forsythe) who is disabled and a ne'er do well more interested in yelling at the kids than in offering any sort of role model. Michael's sister is a trashy sleep with anyone teen who dresses provocatively and does little else. All of this is not lost on Michael who spends his time killing his pets and taking photos of them. What we are being offered is a textbook glimpse as to why a youngster becomes a serial killer. The nice middle class family shown in the original is tossed aside for this new group. And in this first portion of the film, the problems Zombie has are apparent.

Zombie has filled three films now with the same characters. Sure, they may have different names and different small time characteristics, but the fact remains that he focuses on the dysfunctional family and their housecleaning inabilities. Yes, it seems that all families in Zombie's world can't clean to save themselves. Not only that but they all have the same dingy look to their living quarters as well as references to pop culture. The house Michael grows up in could be a home that the Firefly family would feel comfortable in. It all looks the same and that detracts greatly from the viewing experience, unless of course you'd never seen another Rob Zombie film.

Comparisons to the original film are inevitable and this will most likely be the downfall of the film in the long run. Michael goes overboard with his murderous rampage as a child in this film unlike the original. Where no blood was seen in that film, it flows freely now. Perhaps this is due to the changing times, but it adds nothing to the scares of the film or the character. It does make him a more brutal killer, leaving him one without a touch of sympathy. But the mindless killer from the original is replaced by someone we feel absolutely nothing for now.

Once finished with the whole back story of young Michael, his family and the kindly Dr. Loomis (Michael McDowell) who takes care of him at the institution, we move forward 15 years to when Michael escapes and heads back home. The body count increases once more as he kills everyone he comes into contact with their, including a worker who had befriended him. Once out, the story becomes more familiar, almost a duplicate of the original shot from different angles, with different actors and focusing less on the character of Laurie Strode, the central character in John Carpenter's version.

Laurie and her friends are nothing more than meat to be slaughtered by Michael in this one. There is no development of character, no reason for us to think of them as more than teens in peril that we have seen in hundreds of other slasher flicks. While we cared about the original teens, this time around they seem less human and placed in our way for two reasons: to be killed by Michael and to offer more exposed flesh than the first.

By the film's end we are offered the traditional sliced and diced teens, gratuitous nudity and enough blood to make a special effects company weep for joy at the size of their bill. But we have gained nothing in the iconography that is Michael Myers. While we are given more background on him, we care less about him than we ever did.

Worst of all is the fact that Rob Zombie, a director that showed such great potential before, seems to be telling us after only three films that this is all he has to offer. Stories told from the same world, a world that blasts apart the whole "Father Knows Best" world we would all like it to be. In his world, there is no caring parent. And when they are caring, they are twisted in some revolting way.

I haven't given up on Zombie yet though. Having recently signed a two picture deal with the Weinstein's, perhaps he will show us he has more tricks up his sleeve than he let on. But if he returns to the carny soiled world he's offered in three films to date, then it looks as though he's a one note director. Let's hope he offers us more. It's in there somewhere.

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42 out of 47 people found the following review useful:

Not impressive and unrealistic on too many occasions.

4/10
Author: xavier117 from United States
15 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This comment is for people who have already seen the movie. The way Michael Myers is able to break through the chains and kill four prison guards, and not get hurt at all is insanely unrealistic. Also regarding that scene, they would've had that whole killing on a hidden camera, and more guards would go to Myers and attempt to stop him. That part was where I really became upset with the film. Other unrealistic parts of the movie were when Dr. Loomis shoots Myers I believe three times and hits what seems like around the heart every time and Myers still gets up no less than two minutes later and continues to kill people with ease. Also on a couple occasions when people would have a gun pointed at Myers and not shoot and give him time to destroy them, that made me think, "What the heck are they doing not shooting this maniac? They have a perfect shot every time yet they seem to freeze up." And when the girl stabs Myers in the neck, or maybe it was the back, but if it was the neck there is no way he is surviving that, yet he was able to just pull the knife out of his neck, and continue trying to kill the girl. There are other parts that were really just not impressive and it made me highly disappointed with the quality of the film. It seemed to me that Rob Zombie and others who wrote and had a hand in directing and writing and producing the movie just wanted to make it as bloody as possible and just focus on the shock value, but there is more to a horror movie than just making the people in the audience throw up in their seats after being overwhelmed by gallons of blood spray throughout the silver screen. I wouldn't recommend it, you can spend your money in a more wise way on a better horror movie.

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43 out of 49 people found the following review useful:

Destroying a Classic!

2/10
Author: mikestaley78 from Baltimore
23 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I like a lot of viewers had high hopes going into this movie. Usually I am a Rob Zombie fan, as he has made some good horror flicks in the past. This however was not one of them. I agree with a lot of folks that the back story on Mikey's upbringing made him seem human and not as scary as the original. The original Michael never uttered a sound except the disturbing breathing sounds uttered from his mask. This character talked for probably the first 30 minutes and actually was kind of funny when he was talking to Dr. Loomis. He seemed like a dorky kid who one day started slaughtering every person he encountered except his mother and baby brother? sister? I thought it was a boy until the plot developed further. When he grows up he is ridiculously huge and looks like a member of Slipknot. From here the movie really begins to derail badly. Shamelessly ripping off lines from the first movie, quick sex and even quicker violence is only half the problem with this movie. My personal favorite was the Ben Trammer reference from the first movie that was thrown in there for obvious comic effect. Where Rob Zombie really failed in this movie was how Laurie Strode was portrayed. In the original Jamie Lee Curtis was a sweet, naive girl who was scared to talk to boys and had an innocence about her. This incarnation of Laurie Strode is your typical high school slut,and ultimately we don't care if she lives or dies. My least favorite part of the movie was the darkness of it and the insane fight scenes between Mikey and Laurie. For like the last 30 minutes they are fighting in what seems like pitch black. I understand what Zombie was trying to do, but it was annoying. Because of this, the viewer really did not know what the hell was going on. Laurie was in the walls, the ceilings, the fence and the whole time Mikey was jabbing his knife or stick into these attempting to kill her. It was hard to even see what was going on. Then the movie has a false ending and then really ends. Who cares at this point? What a shame. My high point of the movie was seeing the lovely Danielle Harris topless for about ten minutes. All in all this movie was a waste. Poor story, bad coloring in the film, although nice topless scene with Danielle Harris. Preceed at your own risk.

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45 out of 53 people found the following review useful:

My Review...Don't spend your money!

1/10
Author: coco200066 from United States
23 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

God Awful...don't bother! The original Halloween is such a classic and in my mind no need to be remade, however if your going to remake it, please make it a good one! I personally think Rob Zombie sucks when it comes to movies, not because there isn't gore and horror but just because he sucks at making the characters and story line believable.

In this remake, you don't know if your looking at scenes from the 70's, 80's or what, yet the guy who plays Donald Pleasant's character is carrying a very modern cell phone! Malcolm McDowell is a good actor and I am surprised that he went for this part, it was very weak and I feel sorry for him that he has had to add this to movies he has been involved with! On a side note, his character seem so self absorbed in the movie that honestly I am not surprised poor Michael Myers stopped talking, he was probably hoping the good doc would shut the hell up or eventually go away lol! I could see that maybe Rob Zombie was going for the more "real" Michael Myers, a screwed up kid and why he was that way. If left at that and nothing to do with Halloween, he could have had something really good IMHO, however the constant back and forth of making Michael Myers "real" as opposed to a remake of the old movie was just annoying and God awful! My advise, AVOID THIS MOVIE WITH A TEN FOOT BARGE POLE, as we say back in the old country lol! Or if you have to absolutely see this tragedy of a bastardization of a cult classic, don't even rent it, borrow it from some other poor sap that paid the rental fee!

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45 out of 53 people found the following review useful:

Did he even watch the REAL Halloween?

1/10
Author: fatfredyfreak from Texas
15 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Why must Hollywood continue to churn out these worthless remakes? I'll be honest and say I wanted to like this movie, but I went in with low expectations. But, really, has Rob Zombie ever actually seen Halloween? Michael Myers was a normal 6 year old boy from a normal family who, suddenly, for no reason at all, put on a halloween mask, grabbed a knife, and murdered his sister. Zombie's Michael is supposed to be 11, his mother is a stripper, his dad is AWOL, and everybody, EVERYBODY, cusses worse than a sailor. As a fan of Mr Zombies music, these plot elements don't seem very new or fresh. After 10 minutes or so, I knew this was going to be just like his first 2 movies, bloody, violent, and boring. The only thing he didn't ruin was the music, and I was surprised he didn't find some way slip a hooker and a f-bomb in there. And then there was the cast. The girl paying Lourie was too short,too young, and lets be honest, too annoying. By the end, I just wanted her to shut up and go away. When I heard who was playing Dr Loomis, I was relieved. But he totally phoned it in on this one. All in all, this is Mr Zombies worst effort yet.

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42 out of 48 people found the following review useful:

Horrible remake and wannabe-horror movie

3/10
Author: dotmrt (dotmrt@yahoo.co.uk) from Estonia
21 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In the beginning we have a lazy-ass foul mouth (step-?) father nagging on everyone in the family. William Forsythe is a fine actor, but I think he really overacts on that one. Perhaps we are supposed to be disgusted of the father, but then I don't feel that we should need to feel sympathy towards Michael. Also the breakout of the ward was stupid. Guards are caught their pants down like idiots. And the "blaming scene" afterward is ridiculous. There are couple of another laughable scenes, like the girl in the end trying to get through the metal wire bed (which she actually manages) instead of simply going out of the house as the bad guy is blocked anyway. The movie has some incredibly dull and horrible dialog. And even charismatic Malcolm McDowell cannot save the day. I think that horror has been done so much better in numerous other forms that this movie is simply a redundant "money collector". To conclude my opinion, I was surprised and disappointed that was so little Rob Zombie on the soundtrack.

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48 out of 62 people found the following review useful:

Stick to grind-house horror, Rob—you're better at it!

2/10
Author: BA_Harrison from Hampshire, England
10 October 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

With its precise direction, slick cinematography, talented and likable cast, and excellent use of a particularly menacing score, John Carpenter's Halloween was a highly polished exercise in perfection. In contrast, Rob Zombie's 'reimagining' of the Michael Myers mythos is an ill-considered mess, delivering the director's grungy 'white trash' aesthetic, an incongruous soundtrack of rock classics, lots of gore and nudity, a raft of characters one couldn't give a damn about, and very little in the way of originality.

And perhaps, worst of all, Michael—the personification of evil in the original movie—is given a back story that robs the character of his status as 'the bogeyman'. He is now, like so many other movie killers, simply the product of a poor upbringing (his sister is a slut, his step-dad is a foul-mouthed drunk, and mum is a stripper). As a lank-haired ten-year old, poor little Michael is bullied, both at school and at home; one day he snaps, butchers his tormentors, and ends up incarcerated in a mental institute where he falls under the care of Dr. Sam Loomis (Malcolm McDowell). There he remains until adulthood, too dangerous to ever be released.

Not only is all of this twaddle completely unnecessary, but it is far too long in the telling, and, by the time Zombie has finished trying to make us feel sympathetic towards his psycho, a good 40 minutes or so has passed. It seems like much longer.

Anyway, Michael eventually manages to escape (thanks to a particularly dumb guard who is, for some reason, unafraid of 7ft tall mass murderers that are built like a brick outhouse), and legs it to his home town of Haddonfield to look for his baby sister Laurie—the only remaining member of his family.

From this point on the film gets even worse, as Zombie introduces his audience to the now grown-up Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton)—a thoroughly annoying and obnoxious teen with an even more unlikeable circle of friends—and proceeds to (loosely) follow the original's plot, stealing chunks of dialogue verbatim, whilst adding his own (mostly crap) touches and choosing to omit some of Carpenter's finer moments (the excellent closet attack scene is missing, for example).

After much screaming and bloodletting, but practically no atmosphere or scares, sole survivor Laurie is rescued by Loomis, who unloads his revolver into Michael. The End. Thank goodness.

Halloween '07 is pretty much a failure on all levels: it's ugly to look at, boring to watch, and insulting to horror fans. What this film does do successfully, however, is drive home the fact that some classics should never be remade. Especially by Rob Zombie.

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52 out of 72 people found the following review useful:

Remake exists in a twilight world of originality and pure copy never manages to find its own voice, the result is really bad movie movie with a few great moments

3/10
Author: dbborroughs from Glen Cove, New York
11 September 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Remake/rethink of the classic John Carpenter film is a mistake. Granted in these days of redone 1970's horror classics and not so classics a remake (after 7 sequels) was inevitable, but however this got made it shouldn't have. It's too unreal to ever work and too referential of the original to ever not be compared. I'm hoping that Zombie was forced to do the film a certain way by the money men since I would hate to think that the man who gave us House of 1000 corpses and Devil's Rejects made some of the choices we see here.

The problems here start with the rethought idea of Myers as a chunky fat kid with long hair. It continues on with his foul mouthed white trash parents who's steady stream of profanity was such I have to think its a bad joke. Shall I go on to the anachronistic settings and props that mix time periods (and when is this suppose to begin anyway?) By the time Michael goes home we have about an hour to compress the events of the original, which then gets told in speedy fashion. Ultimately, as many have said, and as Thomas Harris found out about Hannibal Lechter, the whole idea of explaining the evil takes away the terror.

What really annoys the hell out of me is that as bad and as lazy the narrative restructuring is the individual sequences are top notch. In all seriousness some of the sequences where Michael kills are dynamite. The stabbing death of his older sister is frightening (and whats with that little shape. Creepy) and the escape from the basement by Laurie is masterful frenetic film making. Actually most of the killings are mini masterpieces that regrettably have no gallery to properly show them in. Once again its clear that Rob Zombie is a director to be reckoned with, just so long as he can go his own way. (And I have to say its great to see all the great 1970's name b-movie actors once more).

Not really worth bothering with, this is at best 3 or 3.5 out of 10. Recommended only for those who want to see some fleeting moments of really cool film making in an otherwise crappy film.

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56 out of 86 people found the following review useful:

Unnecessary remake!

3/10
Author: JoeB131 from United States
30 December 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The problem with remakes is that if something was made wrong the first time, no one cared about it enough to try to remake it. If something was truly good enough to be a "classic", then it was just fine on its own and didn't need to be messed with.

This is the problem with Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween. He tries to deflect from the point by reminding us that John Carpenter remade "The Thing from another World" (Putting on background TV TWICE during the film, just so we didn't forget it.) Carpenter, however, took the whole concept in another direction.

Zombie does "Michael Myers, the early years". The thing that made Myers so horrifying is that he was just a normal kid where something had gone horribly wrong. Zombie decides to give him a full background with a stripper mother, an alcoholic loser father and a slutty sister, so you understand how he becomes the town psycho. It's a lot of unnecessary exposition, and he eats up half the film with it.

The Jaime Lee Curtis character is played by someone who has almost no screen presence. You don't care what Michael does to her in the end, which reduces the amount of suspense in his remake of Carpenter's work in the second half.

Finally, you have the ever so creepy Malcolm McDowell playing the Donald Pleasence character. His attempts to get through to Michael are so lame you can't believe this guy is even trying to practice psychiatry.

The rest is a Zombie gore-fest, not even worth watching.

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107 out of 188 people found the following review useful:

Somewhat disappointing...

5/10
Author: kennyeatsbirds from United States
3 September 2007

Like many of the horror fans out there I went through my phase of being angry and disgusted that they would remake Halloween and especially that Rob Zombie would be the director to do it. This eventually wore off and I came to terms with it. I am a fan of Rob Zombie and as it got nearer to the release date I came to believe that I would probably enjoy the movie, although I figured it still wouldn't compare to the original. Hell, I was even pretty excited to go see it (It's rare these days that we get to see horror films out of Hollywood made by people who actually give a sh*t about the genre, which is why I like Zombie even though I don't find him to be a genius director or anything like that.)

Unfortunately, I was pretty disappointed with what I saw. For the most part, the first half of the movie was interesting and held my attention but once it became night time, the whole film went downhill. Essentially, like many "slasher movies" today, the last 30 minutes or so of the film turned into a string of boring chase sequences. Don't get me wrong, chase sequences are essential to these kinds of movies, but they can't carry a movie for half an hour.

It seemed to me that one of the main problems was that Zombie seemed to drop the ball when Michael Myers completely turns into a silent killer. His talent as a writer is in creating interesting characters (i.e. house of 1000 corpses & the devil's rejects), but with no personality left in his killer, the script and other characters become boring. Rob Zombie is not a suspense director and the attempts he made at it during this film were pretty lame. It wasn't scary and none of the "jump scares" worked. This isn't to say that he is a bad filmmaker, he just seems to be out of his element with this movie.

Although I thought the back story was decent and entertaining enough, I still tend to find Michael Myers a more interesting character with less back story and more mystery like in the original.

I appreciate the effort put into the movie and I have given it a rating of 5 because I still think it was probably better than what they would have made with a different writer and director, but this movie just didn't work for me.

Luckily I got to see this at a drive-in theater along with the original Halloween and Grindhouse, so the night was still pretty great.

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