Kung Fu Hustle (2004)
The Beast: All I want is to kill you, or be killed by you.
Barber: Why don't you train us to be top fighters... and we'll avenge them!
Landlady: Becoming a top fighter takes time, unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius, and they're 1 in a million.
Barber: [Does martial arts routine] It's obvious I'm the one.
Landlady: [immediately punches him in the face] Don't think so.
Landlady: You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy.
The Beast: In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner.
Sing: I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. I want to be the killer!
Sing's Sidekick: [looks up] Ice cream!
Sing: [to ice cream vendor looking at him strangely] What're you looking at? Never seen a free ice cream before?
[runs away without paying, laughing maniacally]
Sing's Sidekick: Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing!
Sing: I never knew you were so deep.
Sing's Sidekick: You gave him your life savings?
Sing: Yes. I was saving to become a doctor or lawyer... but this was a chance for world peace.
Landlady: So you're on their side?
The Beast: Don't get me wrong! I only want to kill you, or be killed by you.
Landlady: How come you became righteous? Have you anything to say?
[sing draws a stick of candy on the ground with his blood]
Landlady: I don't recognize this character. What are you trying to say?
Landlord: [commenting on Sing's newfound abilities] If he studies hard, he could be a doctor or a lawyer.
Landlady: A stuntman, more likely.
Sing: All right. Now, we will sneak attack and take out that old lady.
[throws knife, knife richchets off overhang and gets Sing in his right shoulder]
Sing: Erg... Well, I'll let you try one.
[stands beside sidekick]
Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, accidentally throws backwards, gets Sing's left shoulder]
[stands beside sidekick]
Sing: Look, just take the knife, aim carefully, and throw.
Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, winds back to his right, kinfe sticks Sing in his left arm, handle flys off at Landlady]
Landlady: Who threw a handle?
Sing: Quick! Take this cage of snakes and throw it at her. The snakes will all bite, and our problem will be solved.
Sing's Sidekick: [takes cage, winds back over his head, snakes fall out the back of the cage all over Sing]
Sing: You idiot! Now what am I supposed to do?
Sing's Sidekick: Try whistling. I've heard that helps.
Sing: [whistes, two snakes bite him on his lips]
The Beast: Child's play! I can stop bullets.
The Beast: Whoa!
[looks down to see that Sing crushed his toe]
Axe Gang Advisor: Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel.
Sing: Fat woman, you're in charge here, right?
Landlady: [takes her shoe off, slaps Sing with it] Fat woman, my ass!
Sing: I'm with the Axe Gang!
Landlady: [slaps him] Axe Gang, my ass!
Landlady: [slaps him] Boss, my ass!
Sing: You have to pay our medical bills!
Landlady: Bills, my ass!
Sing: We're on the same side!
Landlady: Same side, my ass!
Sing: A snake!
Landlady: Snake, my ass!
The Beast: [Grabs pistol from brother Sum] Do they make these for men?
[the Soccer boy accidentally kicks his ball to Sing, who does a number of tricks with one foot]
Soccer Boy: Wow, can you teach me that?
Sing: Sure, lesson ONE!
[pops the ball, the little boy starts crying]
Sing: [after noticing the Two Harpists carrying their covered-up harp on their back]
Sing: They look like two gravediggers taking one of their customers for a walk.
Donut: [nearing death, grabs the landlord] With great power comes great responsibility...
Landlady: Donut, you are badly hurt. You must keep still.
Donut: This could be the end of a beautiful friendship!
Landlord: Oh, Donut. Tomorrow is another day!
[Donut passes away]
Brother Sum: [after dismissing Sing] A bum like that could come in handy.