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Kung Fu Hustle (2004) Poster

Quotes

Barber: Why don't you train us to be top fighters... and we'll avenge them!

Landlady: Becoming a top fighter takes time, unless you're a natural-born kung-fu genius, and they're 1 in a million.

Barber: [Does martial arts routine] It's obvious I'm the one.

Landlady: [immediately punches him in the face] Don't think so.

Landlady: You may know kung fu... but you're still a fairy.

The Beast: All I want is to kill you, or be killed by you.

Landlady: So you're on their side?

The Beast: Don't get me wrong! I only want to kill you, or be killed by you.

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The Beast: In the world of kung fu, speed determines the winner.

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Sing: No more soccer!

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Brother Sum: Ever killed anyone?

Sing: I've always thought about it.

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Sing's Sidekick: You gave him your life savings?

Sing: Yes. I was saving to become a doctor or lawyer... but this was a chance for world peace.

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Sing: I realized then that good guys never win. I want to be bad. I want to be the killer!

Sing's Sidekick: [looks up] Ice cream!

[leaves]

Sing: Where?

[follows]

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Sing: [to ice cream vendor looking at him strangely] What're you looking at? Never seen a free ice cream before?

[runs away without paying, laughing maniacally]

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Sing's Sidekick: Memories can be painful. To forget may be a blessing!

Sing: I never knew you were so deep.

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Sing: NO SOCCER!

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Landlady: [to Tailor] What's with the red underwear?

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The Beast: What is the name of your technique?

Sing: You wanna learn? I will teach you!

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Landlady: How come you became righteous? Have you anything to say?

[sing draws a stick of candy on the ground with his blood]

Landlady: I don't recognize this character. What are you trying to say?

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Donut: [in English] What are you prepared to do?

Landlord: We can't understand what you're saying!

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Landlord: [commenting on Sing's newfound abilities] If he studies hard, he could be a doctor or a lawyer.

Landlady: A stuntman, more likely.

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Axe Gang Advisor: Let's kill them all and make this place a brothel.

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Sing: Wow, that's a big fist!

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Sing: Fat woman, you're in charge here, right?

Landlady: [takes her shoe off, slaps Sing with it] Fat woman, my ass!

Sing: I'm with the Axe Gang!

Landlady: [slaps him] Axe Gang, my ass!

Sing: Boss!

Landlady: [slaps him] Boss, my ass!

Sing: You have to pay our medical bills!

Landlady: Bills, my ass!

Sing: We're on the same side!

Landlady: Same side, my ass!

Sing: A snake!

Landlady: Snake, my ass!

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Sing: All right. Now, we will sneak attack and take out that old lady.

[throws knife, knife richchets off overhang and gets Sing in his right shoulder]

Sing: Erg... Well, I'll let you try one.

[stands beside sidekick]

Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, accidentally throws backwards, gets Sing's left shoulder]

Sing: Ack!

[stands beside sidekick]

Sing: Look, just take the knife, aim carefully, and throw.

Sing's Sidekick: [takes knife, winds back to his right, kinfe sticks Sing in his left arm, handle flys off at Landlady]

Landlady: Who threw a handle?

Sing: Quick! Take this cage of snakes and throw it at her. The snakes will all bite, and our problem will be solved.

Sing's Sidekick: [takes cage, winds back over his head, snakes fall out the back of the cage all over Sing]

Sing: You idiot! Now what am I supposed to do?

Sing's Sidekick: Try whistling. I've heard that helps.

Sing: [whistes, two snakes bite him on his lips]

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The Beast: [Grabs pistol from brother Sum] Do they make these for men?

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[the Soccer boy accidentally kicks his ball to Sing, who does a number of tricks with one foot]

Soccer Boy: Wow, can you teach me that?

Sing: Sure, lesson ONE!

[pops the ball, the little boy starts crying]

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Sing: [after noticing the Two Harpists carrying their covered-up harp on their back]

Sing: They look like two gravediggers taking one of their customers for a walk.

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Brother Sum: Don't block my view!

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Donut: [nearing death, grabs the landlord] With great power comes great responsibility...

Landlady: Donut, you are badly hurt. You must keep still.

Donut: This could be the end of a beautiful friendship!

Landlord: Oh, Donut. Tomorrow is another day!

[Donut passes away]

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Brother Sum: [after dismissing Sing] A bum like that could come in handy.

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The Beast: Child's play! I can stop bullets.

[smash noise]

The Beast: Whoa!

[looks down to see that Sing crushed his toe]

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Axe Gang Vice General: Who threw the firecracker?

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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