Dead Clowns (2003)

Director:

Steve Sessions

Writer:

Steve Sessions (writer)

Release Date:

31 July 2007 (USA)

Genre:

Horror

Plot:

Plot Keywords:

Zombie | Zombie Clown | Evil Clown | Gore

Cast

Debbie Rochon	...	Tormented Woman
Lucien Eisenach
Jeff Dylan Graham	...	Night Watchman
Brinke Stevens	...	Lillian
Robyn Griggs	...	Delores
Kimberly L. Cole
Eric Spudic	...	Timmy
Jenn Ruliffson
Brandon Carroll	...	Weather Reporter
rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Denman Powers	...	Husband
Krystal Stevenson	...	Girl With Shotgun

MPAA:

Rated R for horror violence/gore, language and brief drug use.

Runtime:

USA:95 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English | Spanish

Certification:

USA:R

Filming Locations:

Biloxi, Mississippi, USA

Truly the epitome of "a waste of time".

This movie was terrible.

Now, I'm a cheesy horror fan as much as the next person, and I can certainly appreciate a good low-budget gore-fest. But this movie? Low-budget: yes. Gory? Hardly.

I have never been so utterly bored in my life waiting for something to happen. After looooooong and beyond pointless shots of stock-footage hurricanes, looooooong and beyond pointless shots of random people walking slowly around looking at things like they've never seen them before... ("wow.... I'm in my house but... this wall... it's just... fascinating... I'm going to.... stroll past it... and stare... wow..."), and some kid snorting sugar -er- cocaine, the movie finally did something interesting.

No, wait, that was just me hitting the forward search button in an effort to get to this gore I was promised. Well, I want my 30 minutes back. Terrible, terrible effects. Stupid rubber masks, bad fake blood, HORRIBLE acting (and yes, I realize with a crappy indie horror, that's to be expected, but the acting in this garbage was utterly atrocious on EVERYONE'S part except for Brinke Stevens. She was relatively convincing, especially compared to the rest of the drivel she was put up beside), bad bad bad sound, and just, GAH. It was so frickin' bad. I had to turn it off because my head was getting ready to explode from the lame crap I was seeing.

Thank the gods I did not pay for this crap. Even so, I think I am owed compensation for putting myself through even part of this. Yeah, that's right. That moron should be paying people to watch this.

And even then, I would have trouble agreeing.