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Ring of Darkness
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Reviews & Ratings for
Ring of Darkness (TV) More at IMDbPro »

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5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

On a scale of 1-1 000 000 ...i would give it -20

1/10
Author: surfing_in_hawaii from Canada
4 September 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Where should I start....first...the storyline...Basically its about a group of pretty boy band guys who eat people...doesn't that sound like a blockbuster film!! No wonder it was only meant for TV..not for movie theatres...if it did go there i'm sure it would do worse than Shark Boy and Lava Girl in 3D. If there are people out there who like this movie I just have one thing to say to you...What is the matter with you? I guess you like cheesy ''horror'' movies with bad story lines and weird people. In conclusion..please don't watch it...i wish I never saw it...I wasted 1 hour 45 minutes (appr.) of my life! The End. My Story is done. Good-bye!

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7 out of 10 people found the following review useful:

So Gay even Big Gay Al would be proud Mr. Hat!

1/10
Author: SoulEater from Canada
25 March 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

They keep flashing back to shots of the music video they made in the beginning. It really was a gay movie I mean there was to much of the guys for my liking. And the comment "it tastes like life" was totally gay. I will admit that when the main character found the box and saw that they had been doing this for like 50 years that was kinda cool but overall it was so bad. But seriously how many times did they flash back to that music video? anytime they needed to fill space they did. And then kill the one guy because he won't gang bang a chick with you? I don't know I am glad that I did not pay to rent this movie that is for sure. I will also be warning people at my video store not to rent it either.

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6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

What in the World1

4/10
Author: single_in_inna from United States
25 March 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie was not the worst movie I Have ever watched but pretty darn close to it! The plot which is about a group of zombie Boy Band members who after losing their head leader zombie singer need to find another . They hold auditions and choose a few guys to come back to their home place and continue the auditions. There are three guys and each are has their own reason for being there, one a reporter, the other is just wanting to join the pack, and other is because of his girl friend. While at this home on a remote beach the action starts taking place, (no more said you can say for your self rather or not its action). I ,however, believe that there was very little action. The movie took Sationnist worships and made them look funny rather than scary as they should look. Another writer said there was no violence in this movie "so why was it Rated R"? I guess being eaten, shoot in the heart with a bow, and dragging someone against their will some place is not enough violent for someone. I think the movie was trying to play on the fact that all boys bands are close by using sexuality to show they share everything. Which in turn just made them look how shell I say this nicely not completely straight! They also had some very cheesy dance moves, a horrible pop song, and clothing. Their was the cute one, the hot one, the guy next door, the etc one. I gave this movie a four because I was very bored when I turned it on; it was very easy to laugh. There was some good acting by the women who played the girlfriend of one and the boyfriend, the reporter, and the head witch. I found the scenery very nice to look at from time to time like when they showed the ocean water hitting the rocks, but that got over shadowed when they started showing the dark woods and the fogy house which look too man made and the hiding place of the guy zombies which also looked to man made. Their was ,how,ever, one perk to the whole movie good looking guys. Over all I say don't buy the movie first rent it if its even out on video or watch it on Showtime like I did. It was worth the laugh too keep me busy for a hour or so.

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5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

gay vampire songbirds from surf-land

Author: yakusanerd from nice france
3 July 2005

that about sums it up.(so obligatory IMDb stupid rules force me to add five lines to this 5 line critic of a Hollywood masterpiece up there with Kane,Requiem for a dream,the harder they come(reggae masterpiece movie)Hollywood must die,the accountants have taken power,creativity is out for lunch since 1985,remakes galore sign of the shallow times(am i done yet?obviously not,recipes anyone?)in itself it's a piece of crap but it's really fun: the realistic depiction of the shallow pop boy band industry and it's codified marketed sexuality(except that decoteau like john waters subverts it by homosexual undertones but without the talent(after all it does seem like a TV command job)

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Seriously lame

2/10
Author: Woodyanders (Woodyanders@aol.com) from The Last New Jersey Drive-In on the Left
6 April 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie boasts an interesting enough premise: A talent search is held to replace the lead singer of the enormously popular and successful boy band Take Ten after the guy suddenly disappears. The finalists are all flown to a remote exotic island. One by one they start to get bumped off. It turns out Take Ten are a bunch of evil immortals who engage in some kind of black rites ritual in order to stay young forever. Director David DeCoteau, working from an insipid and unsurprising script by Michael Gingold and Matthew Jason Walsh, crucially fails to bring any tension or creepy atmosphere to the proceedings; instead DeCoteau overdoes his patented blatant heavy-handed homoeroticism to the annoying ninth degree with such stuff as the four members of Take Ten attacking their mostly male victims in a snarling pack (they bite the dudes and drink their blood) and leering shots of buff young hunks with six-pack abs wearing nothing but black boxer shorts. Worse yet, the villains lack menace and the limp ending totally fizzles. Moreover, the flashy razzle-dazzle MTV music video style proves to be equally irritating and excessive, with far too much affected posturing, rapid-fire editing, appallingly bad singing and dancing (think the Backstreet Boys on a very cruddy day), and gauzy bright lighting. The severe lack of hardcore gore and tasty gratuitous female nudity doesn't help matters any. This movie further suffers from a lot of incredibly poor acting, with former "American Idol" series regular Ryan Starr qualifying as the worst offender with her dreadful performance as token hot babe Stacy. Adrienne Barbeau manages to do decent work as the band's shrewd manager Alex while John Waters film favorite Mink Stole is wasted in a nothing minor role as tabloid newspaper editor Fletcher. A real wash-out.

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6 out of 11 people found the following review useful:

Fame! Ain't it a Drag

3/10
Author: sol1218 from brooklyn NY
15 February 2005

(Spoilers) Redicules and bumbling film that wouldn't even be good, or bad, enough to make the famous Bad Movie TV show "Mystery Sicence Theater 3000". The movie is about this rock group the Take Ten, even though there's only five members in it, who's suddenly out it's lead singer Gordo, Greg Chipes, and is desperately looking for a replacement.

You see Gordo found out who the members of the group really are and tried to make a run for it from the groups island, Compus, where they were all staying at. Captured on the beach Gordo tells the group members that he's going to spill the beans on them, to the National Enquire. Only to get spilled into the ocean by them never to be seen again.

Coming up with this cock & bull story that Gordo was a drug addict and was sent by the group to some secret rehabilitation clinic they through their manager Alex, Adrienne Barbeau, conduct a nation wide search for Gordo's replacement. Narrowing the competition for Gordo's job down to three lucky guys Max Jonah & Shawn, Eric Dearborn Jeff Paterson & Coltin Scott,their flown to Compus for what would be a battle for the lead singers contest to see who's the one to finally replace Gordo.

At the island strange things begin to happen in that Jonah turns out to be an undercover reporter working for a supermarket tabloid magazine, The National Enquire?. He's soon discovered by the group members only to be iced and never seen or heard from again. Max who would give his right arm to make the group "Take Ten" ends up giving up a lot more, his life. When they feel he's not cut out to be with them and do a little bit of cutting up of Max on their own.

Shawn who's at the island with his girlfriend Stacy, Ryan Starr, isn't really interested in becoming a group member, It's all Stacy's idea. He tries to leave the island only to be captured by the Take Ten and their manager Alex, who seems to have the hots for him,and. He's then put through this really weird ritual at a secret cave by the beach where Shawn as well as all the group members, striped down to his boxer shorts as the group preforms some kind of Satanic rites or ceremony on him. Shawn is at last rescued by his girlfriend Stacy who comes to his aid with a cross-bow. Later Shawn unties himself and takes what looks like a bunch of voodoo dolls and throws them into the fire, that the group set for their ceremony, causing them as well as the group members to burn to a crisp.

The movie tries to give us a surprise ending which is about as effective as the rest of the story that preceded it: it's totally unbelievable. Were given this BS story about the group being around since the mid 1950's changing their name every five years or so. The rock & Roll group kept hitting the top Billboard Charts with hit after hit for the last fifty years starting with the 1954 Rock & Roll band Bobby Coolly and the Sea Sharks.

As for the Busty Adrienne Barbeau who played Alex, the Take Ten's manager, looked like she was either out in the sun too long or went the distance in the boxing ring with "Iron Mike" Tyson.

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Evil boy band (No, really!)

8/10
Author: Laura from United States
14 February 2014

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is a movie about, essentially, an evil boy band. They kill one of their member (in the first 5 minutes, not exactly a spoiler) and are looking for someone to replace him. The movie then follows three hopefuls to the bands mansion where they continue to audition to join the band. What happens then is fairly easy to predict, but I still found it entertaining. I'm a huge fan of horror movies, especially the ones involving monsters of some kind. I actually enjoyed this movie, although I would never call it horror. It was very campy, which I get a massive kick out of anyway. There was an exceptional amount of homosexual sub-text and some that might be considered straight up text. The only thing that really bothered me was the end. The way that the monsters are defeated is so incredibly easy, it's disgusting. They had this huge build-up to an end fight and they get killed in a less than 2 minutes. This is after being shown as powerful and strong. Plus, they outnumbered the "good" guys 5 to 2 (counting their manager). All in all, it was a great laugh and a fun way to spend part of a cold afternoon.

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Young Men Getting Topless... This is a Horror Film?

2/10
Author: gavin6942 from United States
3 October 2012

When a boy band's lead singer (Greg Cipes) mysteriously disappears the media says that he ran away because he could not handle the fame...

If you know David DeCouteau, you know that he loves featuring young men in his movies. Preferably young men with sculpted bodies who like to take off their shirts. You might often find homoerotic undertones, as well. If you know this and know that this move was made by DeCouteau, you will not be the least bit surprised by the endless stream of young male flesh parading on your screen.

The boy band song (Christian Ebner's "Sexin' Me") was played a bit too long for my liking. Okay, maybe not a bit too long -- a lot too long. If I go the rest of my life without ever hearing that song again, I would be perfectly okay with that. Did every audition have to have that same song, with the guys obviously lip-syncing? Geez!

I am curious if the film was financed by Von Dutch, as their hats and shirts are everywhere. Of course, this could just be the director's way of letting us know these guys are tools...

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New Kids on the Chopping Block

4/10
Author: wes-connors from Los Angeles
12 October 2009

"When the lead singer of a band mysteriously disappears, a nationwide talent search is held to replace him. Ryan Starr ("American Idol") is Stacy, the devoted girlfriend to Shawn (Stephen Martines, 'General Hospital'), a talented young musician waiting for his big break. Once Shawn makes it to the top three, they are all flown to an exotic island, but it soon becomes clear that something is wrong as the finalists begin to disappear. Will Stacy and Shawn become intertwined in a ring of deception and death or will they be able to uncover the truth and escape?" asks the DVD case.

The group "Take 10" - Greg Cipes (as Gordo McSteel), Jeremy Jackson (as Xavier Doorsberg), Matthew Thomas Baker (as Jake Slater), Colin Bain (as B.J. Banyon), and John Wynn (as Kyle West) - definitely captures that "boy band" look. "Idol" wannabes Martines, Eric Dearborn, and Jeff Peterson are of a rougher cut, but all eight would answer "YES!" to the question, "Do you work out?" Adrienne Barbeau (as Alex Marshall) can still titillate, and Ms. Starr has a nice swing in her backyard - but, mainly, this is a film to watch if you're into eyeing slim-waisted young men.

**** Ring of Darkness (2/28/04) David DeCoteau ~ Stephen Martines, Jeremy Jackson, Adrienne Barbeau, Ryan Starr

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3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Stupid, die, go away!

2/10
Author: Horrorible_Horror_Films from Outer Mongolia
20 December 2005

I saw the last 45 minutes or so of this. Where the hell was the gore? The 'zombies' look like robots underneath, not zombies, and when they were supposedly scratched to show their zombie skin underneath, its really really stupid - those sratches are obviously waaaaay to uniform. I can't stand homo-erotcism in horror movies! Not that there's anything wrong with that, if thats your thing go for it, but man, it really pushed this movie over the edge, I never ever need to see anything like that again. Although, maybe this film is really just a stunning expose on real boy bands, and its trying to tell us something, that actually makes sense.

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