Iron Man (2008)
Tony Stark: [reading the newspaper] Iron Man. That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean it's not technically accurate. The suit's a gold titanium alloy, but it's kind of provocative, the imagery anyway.
Tony Stark: You got a family?
Yinsen: Yes, and I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?
Tony Stark: [quietly] No.
Yinsen: So you're a man who has everything... and nothing.
Tony Stark: There's been speculation that I was involved in the events that occurred on the freeway and the rooftop...
Christine Everheart: I'm sorry, Mr. Stark, but do you honestly expect us to believe that that was a bodyguard in a suit that conveniently appeared, despite the fact that...
Tony Stark: I know that it's confusing. It is one thing to question the official story, and another thing entirely to make wild accusations, or insinuate that I'm a superhero.
Christine Everheart: I never said you were a superhero.
Tony Stark: Didn't?
Christine Everheart: Mmm-mmm.
Tony Stark: Well, good, because that would be outlandish and, uh, fantastic. I'm just not the hero type. Clearly. With this laundry list of character defects, all the mistakes I've made, largely public.
Rhodey: [whispers to Tony] Just stick to the cards, man.
Tony Stark: Yeah, okay.
Tony Stark: [holds up his notes and pauses] The truth is...
Tony Stark: [puts cards down] I am Iron Man.
Tony Stark: [recording a log as he tests his rocket boots] Day 11, Test 37, Configuration 2.0. For lack of a better option, Dummy is still on fire safety.
[turns to robot]
Tony Stark: If you douse me again, and I'm not on fire, I'm donating you to a city college. Seriously, we're just gonna start off with 1% thrust capacity. And three... two... one.
[performs test successfully, then lands. Dummy raises its extinguisher arm hopefully]
Tony Stark: Please don't follow me around with it either because I feel like I'm going to catch on fire spontaneously. Just stand down. If something happens, then come in.
Tony Stark: We gotta go. Come on, move with me. We got a plan, and we're going to stick to it.
Yinsen: This was always the plan, Stark...
Tony Stark: Come on, you're going to go see your family. Get up.
Yinsen: My family is dead, Stark... and I'm going to see them now. It's okay, I want this... I want this.
[Stark is silent for a moment]
Tony Stark: Thank you for saving me.
Yinsen: Don't waste it... don't waste your life, Stark.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [after Stark's one night stand with Christine] I have your clothes here; they've been dry cleaned and pressed. And there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go.
Christine Everheart: You must be the famous Pepper Potts.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [smiles and nods] Indeed I am.
Christine Everheart: After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I do anything and everything Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, you know that I would help you with anything, but I cannot help you if you're going to start all this again.
Tony Stark: There is nothing except this. There's no art opening, no charity, nothing to sign. There's the next mission, and nothing else.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Is that so? Well, then I quit.
Tony Stark: You stood by my side all these years while I reaped the benefits of destruction. Now that I'm trying to protect the people I've put in harm's way, you're going to walk out?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You're going to kill yourself, Tony. I'm not going to be a part of it.
Tony Stark: I shouldn't be alive... unless it was for a reason. I'm not crazy, Pepper. I just finally know what I have to do. And I know in my heart that it's right.
Tony Stark: Pepper, uh, how big are your hands?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What?
Tony Stark: How big are your hands?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I don't understand why...
Tony Stark: Get down here. I need you.
Tony Stark: Am I making you uncomfortable?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, no, I always forget to wear deodorant and dance with my boss in a room full of people I work with in a dress with no back.
Tony Stark: Well, you look great, you smell great. But I could fire you if that would take the edge off.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I don't think you could tie your shoes without me.
Tony Stark: I'd make it a week.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: A week, really? What's your social security number?
Tony Stark: [he pauses]
Tony Stark: Five...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [smiling] "Five?" You're missing just a couple of digits.
Tony Stark: Right, the other eight. Well, I have you for the other eight.
William Ginter Riva: Mr. Stane. Sir, we've explored what you've asked us and it seems as though there's a little hiccup. Actually, um...
Obadiah Stane: A hiccup?
William Ginter Riva: Yes, to power the suit... sir, the technology doesn't actually exist. So it...
Obadiah Stane: Wait, wait, the technology?
[puts an arm around him]
Obadiah Stane: William...
[points at the giant arc reactor]
Obadiah Stane: Here is the technology. I've asked you to simply make it smaller.
William Ginter Riva: All right, sir, that's what we're trying to do, but... honestly, it's impossible.
Obadiah Stane: [shouting] Tony Stark was able to build this in a cave! With a box of scraps!
William Ginter Riva: Well, I'm sorry. I'm not Tony Stark.
[after end credits]
Tony Stark: [arriving home] Evening, JARVIS!
Jarvis: [voice distorted] Welcome home, sir...
[Stark stops as he sees a figure in his living room]
Nick Fury: "I am Iron Man". You think you're the only superhero in the world? Mr. Stark, you've become part of a bigger universe. You just don't know it yet.
Tony Stark: Who the hell are you?
Nick Fury: Nick Fury. Director of SHIELD.
Tony Stark: Ah.
Nick Fury: I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.
Tony Stark: They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. I present to you the newest in Stark Industries' Freedom line. Find an excuse to let one of these off the chain, and I personally guarantee, the bad guys won't even wanna come out of their caves. Ladies and gentlemen, for your consideration... the Jericho.
Christine Everheart: Mr. Stark! Christine Everheart, Vanity Fair magazine. Can I ask you a couple of questions?
Hogan: [whispers to Stark] She's cute.
Tony Stark: [whispers to Hogan] She's alright.
Tony Stark: Hi!
Christine Everheart: Hi.
Tony Stark: Yeah. Okay, go.
Christine Everheart: You've been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous. I don't paint.
Christine Everheart: And what do you say to your other nickname, the Merchant of Death?
Tony Stark: That's not bad. Let me guess... Berkeley?
Christine Everheart: Brown, actually.
Tony Stark: Well, Ms. Brown. It's an imperfect world, but it's the only one we got. I guarantee you the day weapons are no longer needed to keep the peace, I'll start making bricks and beams for baby hospitals.
Christine Everheart: Rehearse that much?
Tony Stark: Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime.
Christine Everheart: I can see that.
Tony Stark: I'd like to show you firsthand.
Christine Everheart: [exasperated] All I'm looking for is a straight answer.
Tony Stark: [removing his shades] OK, here's a straight answer. My old man had a philosophy: peace means having a bigger stick than the other guy.
Christine Everheart: That's a great line, coming from a guy selling the sticks.
Tony Stark: My father helped defeat Nazis. He worked on the Manhattan Project. A lot of people, including your professors at Brown, would call that being a hero.
Christine Everheart: And a lot of people would also call that war-profiteering.
Tony Stark: Tell me, do you plan to report on the millions we've saved by advancing medical technology or kept from starvation with our intelli-crops? All those breakthroughs, military funding, honey.
Christine Everheart: Have you ever lost an hour of sleep in your life?
Tony Stark: I'm be prepared to lose a few with you.
Tony Stark: Hmmm. Your eyes are red. Tears for your long lost boss?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.
Tony Stark: Yeah, well, vacation's over.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [walking in on Stark's robots trying to get him out of the Iron Man suit] What is going on here?
Tony Stark: Let's face it, this is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Are those bullet holes?
Tony Stark: What are you trying to get rid of me for? You got plans?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: As a matter of fact, I do.
Tony Stark: I don't like it when you have plans.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I'm allowed to have plans on my birthday.
Tony Stark: It's your birthday?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yes.
Tony Stark: I knew that. Already?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yeah, isn't that strange? It's the same day as last year.
Tony Stark: Well, get yourself something nice for me.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I already did.
Tony Stark: Yeah? And?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, it's very nice... very tasteful. Thank you, Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: You're welcome, Ms. Potts.
Rhodey: Oh, my God, you crazy son of a bitch! You owe me a plane, you know that, right?
Tony Stark: [chuckling] Yeah, well, technically he hit me, so...
Obadiah Stane: How ironic, Tony! Trying to rid the world of weapons, you gave it its best one ever! And now, I'm going to kill you with it!
Yinsen: We met, you know, in a technical conference in Bern.
Tony Stark: I don't remember.
Yinsen: [chuckling] Of course not. If I had been that drunk, I wouldn't have been able to stand, let alone give a lecture on integrated circuits.
[after testing the suit's capabilities]
Tony Stark: Yeah, I can fly.
[Pepper is reaching into Tony's chest cavity]
Tony Stark: Okay now, the copper wire - you got it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Yeah, I've got it.
Tony Stark: Now pull it out, gently, and just make sure you don't touch the s...
Tony Stark: AH! - i-i-i-des!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Sorry, I'm sorry!
Tony Stark: Don't touch the sides, that's what I was trying to tell you before. Now, just gently pull that out, and whatever you do, don't pull out the...
[Pepper pulls out the end, Tony's heart monitors go off]
Tony Stark: The magnet at the end of it. See, that was it. You just...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What?
Tony Stark: What I was trying to tell you - no, don't put it back in! Just put it over there, we have to hurry...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What's wrong?
Tony Stark: Oh, nothing, I'm just going into cardiac arrest, because you...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: *What*? I thought you said this was safe!
Tony Stark: ...just yanked it out like a trout!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [to Tony] You're all I have too, you know.
Agent Phil Coulson: I'm Agent Phil Coulson with the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: That's quite a mouthful.
Agent Phil Coulson: I know. We're working on it.
[Stark and Potts carry out an arc reactor transplant]
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Don't ever, ever, ever, ask me to do anything like that, ever again!
Tony Stark: I don't have anyone but you.
Jarvis: Yes. Shall I render using proposed specifications?
Tony Stark: Thrill me.
[as Jarvis works on the render, Tony watches benefit at the Disney Concert Hall on TV]
Jarvis: The render is complete.
Tony Stark: A little ostentatious, don't you think?
Jarvis: What was I thinking? You're usually so discreet.
Tony Stark: [gazes at a 1930s hotrod] Tell you what. Throw a little hotrod red in there.
Jarvis: Yes, that should help you keep a low profile. The render is complete.
Tony Stark: Hey, I like it. Fabricate it. Paint it.
Jarvis: Commencing automated assembly. Estimated completion time is five hours.
Tony Stark: [looks at his watch] Don't wait up for me, honey.
Iron Man: [under fire from Obadiah] Time to hit the button!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You told me not to...
Iron Man: JUST DO IT!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: YOU'LL DIE!
Iron Man: PUSH IT!
[Tony emerges from the cave wearing the Mark I armour. The terrorists yell and open fire, but their bullets just bounce off the suit. Eventually they stop shooting]
Tony Stark: My turn.
[unleashes his flamethrowers]
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Agent Coulson, I just wanted to say thank you very much for all of your help.
Agent Phil Coulson: That's what we do. You'll be hearing from us.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: From the Strategic Homeland...
Agent Phil Coulson: [interrupting] Just call us SHIELD.
Tony Stark: I feel like you're driving me to court martial. This is crazy. What did I do? I feel like you're gonna pull over and snuff me. What, you're not allowed to talk? Hey, Forrest!
Jimmy: We can talk, sir.
Tony Stark: Oh, I see. So it's personal.
Ramirez: No, you intimidate them.
Tony Stark: Good God, you're a woman! I honestly, I couldn't have called that. I mean, I would apologize, but isn't that what we're going for here? I thought of you as a soldier first.
Ramirez: I'm an airman.
Tony Stark: Well, you have actually excellent bone structure there. I'm kinda having a hard time not looking at you now. Is that weird?
[Abu Bakaar speaks to Tony]
Yinsen: [translating] He wants you to build the Jericho missile. He has everything you need here, he wants you to begin immediately. After it is completed, he will set you free.
[Abu Bakaar smiles and holds out his hand. Tony smiles and shakes it]
Tony Stark: [still smiling] No, he won't.
Yinsen: [also smiling] No, he won't.
Tony Stark: [toasting after giving a weapon's demonstration] To Peace.
Rhodey: [eyeing the Mark II Iron Man suit] Next time, baby.
Jarvis: [while Tony is wearing the Mark II Armor] Test complete. Preparing to power down and begin diagnostics...
Tony Stark: Uh, yeah, tell you what. Do a weather and ATC check, start listening in on ground control.
Jarvis: Sir, there are still terabytes of calculations required before an actual flight is...
Tony Stark: Jarvis... sometimes you gotta run before you can walk.
Rhodey: [seeing Stark in the Iron Man suit] That's the coolest thing I've ever seen.
Tony Stark: Not bad, huh?
Agent Phil Coulson: This isn't my first rodeo, Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: [to Jimmy, who's raising his hand] You're kidding me with the hand up, right?
Jimmy: Is it cool if I take a picture with you?
Tony Stark: Yes, it's very cool.
[Jimmy hands Pratt his camera and poses with a peace sign]
Tony Stark: I don't want to see this on your myspace page. Please no gang signs.
[Jimmy lowers hand]
Tony Stark: No, throw it up. I'm kidding. Yeah, peace. I love peace. I'd be out of a job for peace.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Will that be all, Mr. Stark?
Tony Stark: Yes, that will be all, Miss. Potts.
Iron Man: [picks up terrorist, throws him to civilians] He's all yours.
Obadiah Stane: I've never really had a taste for this kind of thing, but I must admit I'm deeply enjoying the suit!
Tony Stark: [seeing wires running out of his chest] What the hell did you do to me?
Yinsen: What I did is to save your life. That is an electromagnet, hooked up to a car battery. I removed as much shrapnel from your chest as I could, but there are still some pieces left. I've seen plenty of injuries like that. In my village we call those casualties "the walking dead," because they take about a week to reach your heart.
Yinsen: Did you see that? Those are YOUR weapons... in the hands of those murderers! Is this what you want? Is this what you wish the legacy of the great Tony Stark to be?
Tony Stark: I shouldn't do anything. They could kill you, they're gonna kill me, either way, and even if they don't, I'll probably be dead in a week.
Yinsen: Then this is a very important week for you, isn't it?
[Pepper sends Stark a gift: an arc reactor in a case]
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [inscription] "Proof that Tony Stark has a heart."
Tony Stark: If I were Iron Man, I'd have this girlfriend who knew my true identity. She'd be a wreck. She'd always be worrying I was going to die, yet so proud of the man I've become. She'd be wildly conflicted, which would only make her more crazy about me...
[testing his rocket boots for the first time]
Tony Stark: Okay, let's do this right. Start mark, half a meter and to the right. Dummy, look alive, you're on standby for fire safety. You, roll it. Activate hand controls... okay, we're gonna start off nice and easy. See if 10% thrust capacity achieves lift. In three... two... one...
[He activates his rocket boots, which launch him right up into the ceiling, to crash back down. Dummy sprays him with extinguisher foam]
[Tony is going into cardiac arrest]
Tony Stark: We have to hurry. Take this, take this...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Okay, okay...
Tony Stark: Now you have to take this wire and attach it to the base plate, there.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Okay... Tony?
Tony Stark: What?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, it's gonna be okay.
Tony Stark: Is it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It's gonna be okay. I-I am gonna make this okay.
Tony Stark: Let's hope.
[She reaches in again and hooks up the new heart machine - CLICK!]
Tony Stark: YAAA-OOOOOW...!
Tony Stark: Was that so hard? That was fun, right?
Tony Stark: [as Pepper is walking down the stairs] Hey. Ow,Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah.
Jarvis: It is a tight fit sir.
Tony Stark: Hey, Ah.
Jarvis: Sir the more you struggle the more this is going to hurt
Tony Stark: Be gentle. This is my first time.
Tony Stark: I designed this to come off, so... hey. I really should be able to...
Jarvis: Please, try not to move sir.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Whats going on here?
Tony Stark: [pauses] Lets face it. This is not the worst thing you've caught me doing.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Are those bullet holes?
[accidentally burning his restored car collection by hovering above them]
Tony Stark: Okay, this is where I don't want to be.
Tony Stark: I never got to say goodbye to my father. There's questions I would've asked him. I would've asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from the newsreels. I saw young Americans killed by the very weapons I created to defend them and protect them. And I saw that I had become part of a system that is comfortable with zero-accountability.
Press Reporter #1: Mr. Stark! What happened over there?
Tony Stark: I had my eyes opened. I came to realize that I had more to offer this world than just making things that blow up. And that is why, effective immediately, I am shutting down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You are supposed to be halfway around the world by now.
Tony Stark: How'd she take it?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Like a champ.
Tony Stark: Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.
Tony Stark: It's funny, I though with it being my plane and all that it would just wait for me.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, I need to speak to you about a couple of things before I get you out...
Tony Stark: I mean, doesn't it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?
Tony Stark: [after crash-landing in the desert] Not bad.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [about Stark's old arc reactor] What do you want me to do with this?
Tony Stark: That? Destroy it. Incinerate it.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You don't want to keep it?
Tony Stark: Pepper, I've been called many things. Nostalgic is not one of them.
Tony Stark: Where'd you get that dress?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It was a birthday present... from you, actually.
Tony Stark: I got great taste, don't I? You, uh, wanna dance?
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Oh, no, thank you.
Tony Stark: [leading her to the dance floor] All right, come on.
Rhodey: [answering his phone during the attack on Iron Man] Hello.
Tony Stark: Hi, Rhodey, its me.
Rhodey: It's who?
Tony Stark: Oh, I'm sorry, it is ME. You asked. What your asking about, it's me.
Rhodey: No, you see, this isn't a game. You do not send civilian equipment into my active war zone. You understand that?
Tony Stark: It's not a piece of equipment, I'm in it! Its a suit! It's ME!
Obadiah Stane: [to Stark] When I ordered the hit on you, I was worried that I was killing the golden goose. But, you see, it was just fate that you survived it, leaving one last golden egg to give. You really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you? Your father, he helped give us the atomic bomb. Now what kind of world would it be today if he was as selfish as you?
Obadiah Stane: You ripped out my targeting system... Hold still, you little prick!
Jarvis: Sir, it appears his suit can fly.
Iron Man: Duly noted. Take me to maximum altitude.
Jarvis: With only 19% power, the odds of reaching that altitude...
Iron Man: I know the math! Do it!
Agent Phil Coulson: Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: Yeah?
Agent Phil Coulson: Agent Coulson.
Tony Stark: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the guy from the...
Agent Phil Coulson: Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.
Tony Stark: Whew! God, you really need a new name for that.
Agent Phil Coulson: Yeah, I hear that a lot.
Tony Stark: This looks important!
[rips out Iron Monger's optic cables]
Yinsen: That doesn't look like the Jericho missile.
Tony Stark: That's because it is a miniaturized arc reactor. I've got a big one powering my factory at home.
Yinsen: What will it generate?
Tony Stark: If my math is right - and it always is - three gigajoules per second.
Yinsen: [amazed] That could run your heart for fifty lifetimes!
Tony Stark: Yeah... or something big for fifteen minutes.
[Tony suggests doing something different besides manufacturing weapons]
Obadiah Stane: Like what? Make baby bottles?
[as he lies dying, Dummy hands Stark the Mark I arc reactor]
Tony Stark: Good boy...
Tony Stark: [a hole in his chest] I just want you to reach in, and gently lift the wire out.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Is it safe?
Tony Stark: Yeah. It should be fine. It's just like Operation, just don't let it touch the socket.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: What do you mean, Operation?
Tony Stark: It's just a game, never mind. Just gently lift the wire, okay? All right...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: You know, I... uh... I don't think that I'm qualified to do that.
Tony Stark: No, no. You're fine. You are the most capable, qualified, trustworthy person I've ever met, you'll do great. Is it too much to ask? 'Cause I really need your help here.
[Everhart shows Stark some photos]
Christine Everheart: [disgusted at Stark's evident hypocrisy] Is this what you call accountability?
[Stark looks at photos of Stark Industries weapons in Afghanistan]
Tony Stark: When were these taken?
Christine Everheart: Yesterday.
Tony Stark: I didn't authorize this.
Christine Everheart: Well, your company did.
Tony Stark: Well I'm not my company!
Rhodey: The future of air combat... Is it manned, or unmanned? I'll tell you in my experience, no unmanned aerial vehicle will ever trump a pilot's instinct.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [fumbling inside Stark's chest] Oh... ah... EWW, there's pus!
Tony Stark: It's not pus. It's an inorganic plasmic discharge. It's from the device, not my body.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: It smells!
Tony Stark: Yeah, it does.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, you have to go to the hospital. The doctor has to look at you.
Tony Stark: I don't have to do anything. I've been in captivity for three months. There are two things I want to do. One, I want an American cheeseburger, and the other...
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: That's enough of that.
Tony Stark: It's not what you think. I want you to call for a press conference.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Call for a press conference? What on earth for?
Tony Stark: Hogan, drive. Cheeseburger first.
[Stark and Stane fight on the roof of the Stark Industries power plant]
Iron Man: [intercom] Potts.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Tony, are you okay?
Iron Man: Listen to me. We have to overload the arc reactor and blast the roof.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Well, how are you going to do that?
Iron Man: YOU're going to do it! Go to the central console, open up all the circuits. When I get clear, I'll let you know, and then you hit the master bypass button.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: [upon seeing Stark wearing a machine around his arm] I thought you said you were done making weapons?
Tony Stark: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless.
[Stark is blasted back by the force of the machine]
Tony Stark: I didn't expect that.
Rhodey: [talking over phone] What the hell is that noise?
Tony Stark: I'm driving with the top down.
Rhodey: Well, I need your help right now.
Tony Stark: Funny how that works, huh?
Rhodey: Yeah. Speaking of funny, we got a weapons depot that was just blown up a few klicks from where you were being held.
Tony Stark: Well, I'd say that's a hot spot. Sounds...
[takes a breath]
Tony Stark: ...sounds like someone stepped in and did your job for you.
Rhodey: Why do you sound out of breath?
Tony Stark: I'm not. I was just jogging in the canyon.
Rhodey: I thought you were driving.
Tony Stark: Right, I was driving... to the canyon... where I'm gonna jog.
Rhodey: You sure you don't have any tech in that area I should know about?
Tony Stark: Nope.
[Two F-22s rise behind Iron Man]
Rhodey: Good, because I'm looking at something right now and we're about to blow it to kingdom come.
[after paralyzing Raza with a sonic device]
Obadiah Stane: Technology. That's always been your Achilles heel in this part of the world. Don't worry, it'll only last for fifteen minutes.
[pats Raza on the head and walks out of the tent]
Obadiah Stane: That's the least of your problems.
Obadiah Stane: [discussing the company's future with Tony] We're iron mongers, we make weapons.
Tony Stark: [Tony and Rhodey are on Tony's elaborate plane sitting at a table. Rhodey is reading a newspaper] Whatcha readin'... platypus?
Tony Stark: Come on sour patch.
Rhodey: I told you I'm not sour...
Tony Stark: ...don't be mad...
Rhodey: ...i'm not mad, i'm indifferent, ok.
Tony Stark: I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: You don't need to apologize to me cause I'm not mad.
Stewardess: Good morning Mr. Stark.
Tony Stark: [addressing the stewardess] Hi, I said I was sorry.
Rhodey: ...i'm just indifferent right now.
Stewardess: [to Tony] Hot towel?
Rhodey: You don't respect yourself so I know you don't respect me...
Tony Stark: ...I respect you...
Tony Stark: ...so I'm just your baby sitter. so when you need your diaper changed
[receives a hot towel from the stewardess]
Tony Stark: thank you
Tony Stark: let me know and I'll get you a bottle, ok?
Tony Stark: Hey! Heat up the saki will ya? Thanks for reminding me.
Rhodey: I'm not talkin about a... we're not drinking we're working right now.
Rhodey: You are institutionally incapable of being responsible.
Tony Stark: It would be irresponsible NOT to drink. I'm just talking about a night cap here.
Stewardess: Hot saki?
Tony Stark: Yes, 2 please.
Rhodey: No... just... I'm not drinking. I don't want any.
Rhodey: [queue to a scene where dancey lounge music is playing and Rhodey and Tony are drinking as a stripper pole comes out of the floor for the stewardesses to dance around] That's what I'm talking about, when I get up in the morning and I'm puttin on my uniform you know what I recognize? I see in the mirror that every person with this uniform on, GOT MY BACK!
Tony Stark: you know, i'm not... i'm not... like you... aren't you just a little distracted right now?
Rhodey: you don't have to be like me, but you can be more and you just don't see it. No I can't be distracted right now!
Tony Stark: [pats someone on the back] Looking great, Hef.
[the man turns around, and it's actually Stan Lee]
Raza: [a side of his face scarred] Compliments of Tony Stark.
Obadiah Stane: If you'd killed him when you were supposed to, you'd still have a face.
[the Iron Monger lifts a car with a family in it]
Iron Monger: I love this suit!
Iron Man: Put 'em down!
Iron Monger: Collateral damage, Tony!
Blonde Girl: Tony! Remember me?
Tony Stark: [walking by] Sure don't.
Rhodey: [standing by Stark's airplane] Three hours! Three hours you've kept me standing here!
Tony Stark: [walking past him] Waiting on you now.
Iron Monger: You had a great idea, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way!
Iron Man: How'd you solve the icing problem?
Iron Monger: Icing problem?
[his suit begins to fail]
Iron Man: Might want to look into it.
[He raps his fist on Iron Monger's frozen helmet as his suit fails and plummets to the ground]
Tony Stark: [playing Craps] We're gonna let it ride! Give me a hand, will you? Give me a little something-something.
[woman blows on his dice]
Tony Stark: Okay, you too.
Rhodey: I don't blow on a man's dice.
Tony Stark: Come on, honey bear.
[Rhodey taps Tony hand causing him to roll the dice]
Tony Stark: There it is. Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes rolls! And...
Dealer at Craps Table: Two craps. Line away.
Rhodey: That's what happens.
Tony Stark: Worse things have happened.
[Iron Man is launched into the sky by Iron Monger's missile, but instead of crashing, he activates his flight repulsors and hovers]
Iron Monger: Impressive! You've upgraded your armor! I've made some upgrades of my own...
[activates jets and starts to fly too]
Jarvis: Sir, it appears his suit can fly.
Iron Man: Duly noted.
[Stark's car, the winner of a race, arrives at the airport]
Tony Stark: I thought I lost you back there!
Hogan: You did, sir.
Tony Stark: [after losing $3 million at craps] What's better, winning all that money or not caring about it?
Agent Phil Coulson: [about Obadiah] Looks like you were right, he was building a suit.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I thought it'd be bigger...
[the Iron Monger attacks]
Obadiah Stane: Shame you had to bring Pepper into this. I would have preferred she live...
[an Air Force base prepares to scramble fighters when Iron Man appears on the radar again. Rhodey appears and hangs up the phone]
Rhodey: Not necessary, people. Just a training exercise.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: I would like a vodka martini, please.
Tony Stark: Okay.
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Very dry, with olives, a lot of olives. Like, at least three olives.
Tony Stark: [to bartender] Two vodka martinis, extra dry, extra olives, extra... fast.
Rhodey: As liaison to Stark Industries, I have a unique privilege of serving with a real patriot. He is my friend, and he is my great mentor. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mr. Tony Stark!
[Stark is not present, so Stane approaches the stage]
Obadiah Stane: [accepting the award] Thank you, Colonel. This is beautiful. Thank you all very much. This is wonderful. Well, I'm not Tony Stark.
Obadiah Stane: But if I were Tony, I would tell you how honored I feel, and what a joy it is to receive this very prestigious award. Tony, you know, the best thing about Tony is also the worst thing - he's always working.
[cuts to Stark playing craps in a casino]
Rhodey: [upon rescuing Stark] How was the fun-vee? Next time you ride with me, okay?
Tony Stark: How'd it go?
[Stark sees a pizza box on the table]
Tony Stark: Oh, that bad, huh?
Obadiah Stane: Just because I brought pizza back from New York doesn't mean it went bad.
Pratt: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with the Maxim Girls last year?
Tony Stark: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.
Tony Stark: [explaining to Jim Rhodes as to why he was late for his plane] I got stuck doing a piece for Vanity Fair.
Rhodey: [to Pepper at Tony's press conference after returning from Afghanistan] What's with the lovin'?
[Iron Monger breaks out of the building]
Iron Monger: Where do you think you're going?
[aims a blaster at Pepper]
Iron Monger: Your services are no longer required.
Raza: The bow and arrow once was the pinnacle of weapons technology. It was used by Genghis Khan to forge an empire that stretched across Asia, from the wintry woods of Ukraine to the Eastern shores of Korea. Now, whoever holds the weapons manufactured by Stark Industries rules the world... and soon, it will be MY turn.
Obadiah Stane: [staring at the Mark I armour] So that's how he did it...
Raza: Tony Stark has created the ultimate weapon: a masterpiece of death. A man with a dozen of these could rule all of Asia.
Tony Stark: Attitude control is a little sluggish above 15,000 meters, I'm guessing icing is the probable cause.
Jarvis: A very astute observation, sir. Perhaps, if you intend to visit other planets, we should improve the exosystems.
Tony Stark: Connect to the sys. co. Have it reconfigure the shell metals. Use the gold titanium alloy from the seraphim tactical satellite. That should ensure a fuselage integrity while while maintaining power-to-weight ratio. Got it?
[during the attack by the Ten Rings]
Tony Stark: Gimme a gun! Gimme a gun!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: Obadiah, he-he's gone insane!
Iron Man: I know!
Virginia 'Pepper' Potts: He-he built a suit!
Iron Man: Listen, you'd better get out of there! Just get out-!
[Iron Monger breaks up through the ground]
Iron Monger: Where do you think you're going?
[testing the Mark II armor]
Tony Stark: Okay, let's see what this thing can do. What's SR-71's record?
Jarvis: The altitude record for fixed wing flight is 85,000 feet, sir.
Tony Stark: Records are made to be broken! Come on!
Major Allen: Mark your position and return to base.
Viper 1: Roger that, Ballroom.
[Whiplash Two rolls, One's pilot sees Iron Man clinging to its belly]
Viper 1: On your belly! It looks like a man! Shake him off! Roll! Roll!
Obadiah Stane: [holding Tony's arc reactor] A new generation of weapons... with this at its heart.
Obadiah Stane: For thirty years, I've been holding you up! I built this company up from nothing! Nothing's gonna stand in my way - least of all, *you*!
Christine Everheart: [at the Firefighter's Family Fund Benefit] Well, Tony Stark!
Tony Stark: [awkwardly] Oh, hey.
Christine Everheart: Fancy seeing you here.
Tony Stark: [tries to remember] Carrie.
Christine Everheart: Christine.
Tony Stark: That's right.
Christine Everheart: You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight. Can I at least get a reaction from you?
Tony Stark: Panic. I would say panic is my reaction.
Christine Everheart: I was referring to your company's involvement in this latest atrocity.
Tony Stark: Yeah, they just put my name on the invitation, I don't know what to tell you.