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|Index||1281 reviews in total|
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
As we all know, Alien is one of the greatest Sci-Fi/Horror films ever
to make it to the big screen, if not THE greatest. Its sequel, Aliens,
turns the original classic into a roller- coaster ride that has became
a classic in itself. Also a masterpiece, Predator has won a special
place in my heart for the ingenuity of its antagonist, the Predator. In
the sequel, you see the skulls of all sorts of other alien species the
Predator has hunted, one of which happens to be the Alien. You're
confronted with a wonderful idea: What if a movie was made involving
the Predators hunting the Aliens? What an amazing idea! There's no way
you could screw it up! Naturally, Hollywood found a way to screw it up.
It begins with a group of annoying people collected from all around the world. They have all answered a call by Bishop? The android? Anyhow, Bishop has discovered a pyramid located deep underground in Antarctica, and he wants a team to drill down to it oh, crap, where have I heard this before?
Fortunately for us, the Predators have been watching the movie from space, and they'd rather go for a little swim in the Aliens' acid-blood than sit through an Armageddon remake. To spare the entire world the torture, they fire a beam from space and make a hole leading right to the pyramid. See, they're not such bad guys after all!
Ah, crap. We go back to that stupid expedition team. They're exploring the pyramid and debating what civilization built it. It's half an hour into the movie. I check the DVD box. Hmm Alien. Predator. Vs. Maybe they labeled it wrong? This is looking suspiciously like National Treasure.
Uh-oh! They have disturbed the pyramid and the Predators are going in after them! maybe this is Predator 3? The pyramid shifts and the Alien eggs appear. Finally, a little Alien! But where are the Predators fighting them? Maybe the title should be "Alien & Predator vs. Humans", or perhaps "Movie vs. Patience?"
Well, about ¾ of the way through, what remains of the expedition team (thankfully, only three) are running away from the Predator. One gets killed, and then the remaining two manage to escape when an Alien tackles the Predator. Whooo! Alien vs. Predator! Finally, it's over. Well, that didn't last very long.
After a few scenes which don't really matter, the female lead makes friends with the Predator. Wow, didn't see that coming. She kills the Alien rather than the Predator killing it. They go on to find the nest and reenact the ending of Aliens. The Predator dies, and a group of more Predators go on to reenact the ending of Predator 2. The end!
and I'm giving it a 10 because I hated AVPr so much more.
Let us speak the truth. AVP is not an earth shattering sci-fi epic. I personally find the whole idea of AVP asinine but if your going to do it do it good. In defense of Anderson, who has received so much crap from turd-brained gamers and AVP comic lovers, HE TRIED. He tried to come up with a concept that put the two alien species together and have a human element as well. The film is actually pretty slick. But that is its major problem, it is too slick. There is no attention to detail, no love shone by the director for any of the characters, ALEXA being the sole exception, but there was so much going on that ALEXA remains unsympathetic. I don't doubt the makers of AVPr love the characters but love ain't enough when making a movie. You have to be able to tell whether the script is decent. You have to be able to cast and direct appropriate actors. You have to be able to stage a scene. They are visual f/x guys but the f/x in AVPr are decent at best so even what they are supposed to be good at, they SUCK at.
My biggest complaint was the pred hybrid hatchling. That is taking a stupid concept and dumbing it down even more.
As for the movie, I give the Director a solid B. The script I give a C-/D+. The acting I give a solid A (Sanaa Lathan did what she could with the part, but I thought the casting was great for what the movie was--the peripheral characters played their parts well--save for Colin Salmon, I just can't stand that guy (love it when he gets shredded by the grid laser in Res. Evil.) I really like Tommy Flanagan, this wasn't his best character but I think he must have owed someone a favor to take the part. And Ewen Bremner is just a great supporting actor. I hope no one tries to make him a lead and ruin him like they did Paul Giamatti.
All in all I'd really give this movie a 6 but AVPr was so dreadfully wrong in so many ways that the 10 is to poke those little twits who gave AVPr a 10 and seriously think it is a better movie than this one.
The script for AVP sucks but it tries to follow a path from start to finish. AVPr starts wrong, goes in fifty directions which are all wrong, then ends as bad on down note as well. Same for the direction. Anderson got paid well I'm sure but he didn't have the love for the Alien or the Predator necessary to treat the characters as they were established in their earlier films. Other than that though Anderson actually knows how to stage and shoot a scene while the Brothers Dumbass do not. Anderson chose to go with cgi for the f/x while the Brothers Dip and Shite opted for rubber suits and dark lighting. But at least the cgi meetings between the A and the P were visible and viewable. In other words AVP was a professionally done movie (save the script) whereas AVPr was amateur hour from top to bottom.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Paul Anderson makes movies that start off incredibly well. Every time I
see a Paul W. S. Anderson movie, I watch the first twenty minutes and
think "Hey, this might actually be good!" He raises expectations, gets
you excited, pulls out all of his best tricks... and then somewhere
around 30 minutes in, it turns to garbage. If you think about it, all
of his movies from Event Horizon to Resident Evil suffer from this
malady. AVP is no exception.
In the opening scene, I watched an incredibly stylized alien-like silhouette turn into a satellite. And then it cut to a high tech lab, and then out to the desert, and then out to some glacier. As Paul Anderson assembled his team of protagonists, the movie had a distinct "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" or "Jurassic Park" vibe. In fact, now that I think about it, it had all the trappings of a Spielberg movie. The cherry on top of the sundae was when the wealthy tycoon Weyland, who was organizing the search party, turned out to be the actor who played "Bishop" in Aliens. I was on for the ride. I gripped my popcorn, I buckled in. I thought Paul Anderson had finally come into his own as a filmmaker... and he couldn't have picked a better time. Here was the unification of two of my favorite Science Fiction/Horror characters. If ever Paul Anderson was going to step up and be a real director, the time was now. I smiled, I squeezed my date's hand. This was gonna be great...
And then, it started to suck. Gradually at first, almost as if Anderson was thinking that if he just gave us a great opening we might forget about the fact that the rest of the movie was terrible. I figured things were going badly when the heroes enter a pyramid that they've found thousands (millions?) of feet beneath an arctic whaling station. Hokey, yes... but I'm still buying it. And then, our heroes venture inside this ancient edifice and are trapped inside the pyramid because they decided to take some Predator guns. You'd think these people never saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. I kept waiting for someone to bust out a bull whip. The only thing that was missing was the flying darts and the big boulder.
At this point in the movie, I got a really vivid mental picture of Paul Anderson standing in his living room, with DVD copies of Alien, Predator, Raiders of the Lost Ark and Cube laid out on the floor, and he's standing there taking a leak on all of them and laughing maniacally. I'm not kidding. That image flashed through my head.
Anyway, so when I finally shook myself out of it, there were people that were getting attacked by face-huggers that were bullet-timed a la the Matrix (and every other action movie since). I mentally added The Matrix to the DVDs on Paul's floor, covered with urine. These same people give birth to aliens a mere five minutes later. Suddenly the gestation period for aliens shortened by like three days. I think that might have made me angrier than anything. I just wanted to drive to Paul Anderson's house in the middle of the night, grab him and say, "There are rules to think about here, Paul. Not a lot of them, but you do need to respect the movies that came before. I understand that it makes your job a little tougher because you want to tell a story about an alien, and you need to have it bust out of somebody's chest pretty early in the story... but you're getting paid a lot of money to figure out a clever way of making it work."
But even so, I kept watching. I had come this far, I needed to see the title bout. I watched clunky Predators with ridiculous dreadlocks fight with equally clumsy Aliens. All I could think was, "Gee, I bet it's hot inside those suits." You could practically smell the latex. Still, there are some fun moments, so I keep watching.
And then the protagonist becomes best friends with a Predator and they go off to hunt Aliens together like Butch and Sundance. All of this comes at great expense as you are forced to watch our heroine playing a goofy game of charades with the Predator. When Predators start acting, you know you're in trouble.The end fight scene with the Alien Queen Mum is pretty good. I actually started to enjoy myself again in the last ten minutes of the movie. And then I remembered that I felt the same way about Resident Evil. That last shot with Milla in the city was great. It made me rethink my P.W.S. Anderson theory. Maybe he makes movies that begin and end really well, and then fills them with processed meat. If I ever choose to see another one of his movies, I'm going to walk out after twenty minutes, go get something to eat, and then come back for the last ten and see how I feel about it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Paul WS Anderson has made a major achievement. He has made a film worse than "Alien Resurrection". AVP is a film for which I can think of a few people want Anderson shot for creating this rubbish. He tries to create tension by building up slowly but unlike Aliens where this worked , it just bores me stiff. He makes two massive mistakes with the film. Firstly the gore is gone in Great Britain this is the first "Alien" or "Predator" film not to be an 18, this shows as there is nothing worth even flinching at in the film.The second is that the film tampers with alien biology it actualty hurts. The only two major changes in almost twenty years were the addition of ridges on their heads in "Aliens" and the eggs being able to squirm in "Alien Ressurrection" Every other Aliens has the time between Alien embryo going in and chestburster coming out to be a day or so. Anderson turns this into mere minutes a shocking drop that makes me annoyed as a fan of the francise. I don't encourage illegal free downloads but that is the only way the purchace of this movie is a good price,a pathetic director at his most pathetic.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
i know it's a little late to be commenting on this film but i am compelled to say that this is the most morally depraved, reprehensible film i have seen in a long time. i have no issues with the production values or fx, but this film suggests that we should be siding with a PREDATOR that enslaves other species, sets themselves up as gods, requires sacrifice, and "hunts" with honour. this film makes Jason and Freddie seem like regular folks. at least with them there is no pretense of honourable conduct. i pity the actors in this film, some of whom are classically trained and have done some good works in the past. children and people with the minds of children are going to be watching this film, readily available for rent and purchase anywhere. so it's OK to enslave other species for our entertainment, expect sacrifices, set yourself up as gods, and kill as a rite of passage or sport or culture. i didn't notice any predator eating their prey but they did take trophies. i sided with the ALIENS in this pathetic film. as dangerous as they were, they were victims. their queen was chained up and frozen. they were expatriated against their will. it reminds me of what some people do around here, shooting, albeit less dangerous animals inside enclosures where they have almost no hope of escaping. anybody who watched and enjoyed this film certainly aren't people i want to befriend. i voted this film as the worst of 2004 at the razzies. it didn't win, but it certainly did with me. this film should have an 18+ rating. Klingons have honour. these predators are like the worst of mankind. the only thing superior about these creatures was their technology. shame on the director, shame on the writers, and shame on the producers of this pathetic excuse for a movie, clearly showing that technological development doesn't necessarily coincide with any moral development. an offensive piece of garbage all around.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Well, I saw this movie for the first time today. I know, its been out
for two years. Well, I heard all the bad press, and I didn't want to
ruin two of my favorite franchises with one simple movie. But, I was
bored, and decided that today, will be my day.
So, I watched it. Wow. I hate that I waited so long to see this movie. I put it off for two years, I should have seen it in the cinema.
Imagine hearing that someone was going to cut the skin off of your face. Now, imagine that you could have had it done right as soon as you heard about it, or you where given the choice to put it off for a couple years. Now, imagine waiting that two years, knowing that it's going to happen. Every day you just get one step closer to the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. Then the day comes, and as it is happening, all you can think to yourself is you should have gotten it done the day you found out, instead of waiting. Cause the pain is so much worse now.
That is exactly the way this movie was for me. EXACTLY the way it was. Well, maybe not exactly. This was actually worse than that! The plot had so many holes in it, I thought it was that pair of socks you have that you wear everyday, and have worn them since 1994, because they are you're lucky socks. Sure, they smell a little, and there isn't much cloth yet, but I can't just throw them away! Not only was the plot terrible, lets talk about acting, because apparently, they did not discuss it before casting anyone for this debacle! Cookie cutter lines muttered by people who's names you don't even know until they are about to die, and someone just screams their name saying "God no! Please don't die! I've known you for five whole minutes! PLEASE GOD WHY! WHY TAKE....uhmm...Jonathon? FROM ME!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!" And lastly, let's get down to the real subject matter. Aliens fighting predators. Seriously, how do you screw that up? You could have the two picking their noses and it would work. They could hold battle raps and it would be an entertaining fight (GROWL!!! SNARL SNARL SNARL!!! GURGLE GURLGE!!! YO MOMMAS A HOE!).
THERE ARE TWO FIGHTS IN THIS MOVIE!!! TWO!!! What? How do you get two fights in a movie that has a runtime of one hour and forty minutes? Wait, that is including the 12 minutes of credits, isn't it....yeah it is. Okay, one hour, twenty-eight minutes. TWO FIGHTS?!?!?!? And those weren't even that entertaining. Seriously, I told my friend to give me five minutes, and I bet I could come up with a plot outline that makes more sense and is a million times more entertaining. It took me all of thirty seconds to have an entire plot line written, and here it is for your pleasure:
Alien Vs Predator (the none sucky version)
Movie opens with a predator fighting an alien.
Then, more aliens come, and the fight starts to get real intense.
Then more predators come, and the fight gets insane.
This fight lasts for an hour and a half.
Predators win. The End.
BAM! See, you KNOW that is more entertaining. Now, Paul Anderson has made one really good movie, and two movies that were okay. Yes, he is a step above Uwe Boll...but still. How do you take the awesomeness that this movie could have been, and make a crap-fest of it all? Yes, crap-fest was the best I could come up with. The thesaurus didn't have anything under crap fest...except flapdoodle....which I considered for a bit.
Anyway, this movie sucks more than any sucking thing has ever sucked. I give it 1 star.
Good lord does this movie suck! Not only does it suck but it destroys
any positive impression you ever had of the movies that it follows. HR
Giger and James Cameron probably never saw this movie because they
would have committed suicide if they did. You will too if you are one
who follows either the Alien or Predator franchises or both.
I can't believe that some people are actually rating this movie 10/10. They are obviously employees of Fox. Ask anyone in real life and I'll bet that none of them will do anything less than puke when you ask them about AVP. This is the worst movie ever made. It is worse than you can possibly imagine. There's nothing to be said about the writing, direction, acting and sfx that hasn't been said before. Just avoid this movie.
Forget afghanistan and Iraq. Bush should just send the air force and bomb Paul Anderson. This movie has probably made Fox more enemies than real terrorism could have ever done. This movie is probably the perfect weapon to use against your enemies. Disguise it as something else and make them see it. They will never be the same again.
Consider yourself really lucky if you have'nt seen it. If you are rich, do the world a favour by buying as many DVDs of this movie as you can and burning them in bonfire.
Alien Vs. Predator has some cool scenes and some other entertaining moments but mostly the film is a disappointment. The fast-breeding creatures from the Aliens films take on the headhunting space colonizers from Predator in a battle for the earth, leaving a poor team of Antarctic archaeologist's and the rest of us lowly humans trapped in the middle. The plot does sound like it has potential and if it was rated R it could have been a lot better. The execution wasn't very good though since its just not very exciting. The death scenes are lame as you can't even see what's going on. Most of the action scenes are boring and that's a problem since that's one of the main reasons why a person may watch this film. The acting is terrible but its normal for this type of film. The most notable person in this film you might recognize is Sanaa Lathan but she of course doesn't add much to the film. The rest of the actors are of course bad and you have a better chance of laughing then being scared. The film is predictable because you know where its going and who's going to survive. The dialog is bad and funny but in a bad way, which is always a bad thing. Yet even with all this negativity I didn't completely hate it. Some of the action scenes were cool and its a pretty movie to look at, especially the creature special effects. Paul Anderson shouldn't be blamed as Fox wanted to edit the movie and make it earn more money. The films running time of 102 minutes feels a lot longer though. Rating 5/10 I had some fun watching this but this film is for hardcore fans only and even they will probably hate it.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
AVP fails on several levels. It completely fails as an addition to both
series, and it fails as a film itself. When I heard Anderson was in
charge of this project, I knew that it couldn't be good news
when the PG-13 rating came along, my fears were multiplied and
confirmed. A huge fan of both series, I wanted more than anything to
like this film and for it to at least be average. After all, I cannot
think of many film ideas that have had more potential. This very well
could have been the best action and sci-fi film ever created, only if
it had a decent director. I actually gave Anderson a chance, a 10%
chance of making an average film, and a 0% chance of making it into
what it deserved and had the potential to be. Those who gave him more
should be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that I paid to see it, however,
I have a unique way of justifying it. Since I paid for it, the only way
I can redeem myself is to rip this excuse for a film apart in this
review, which will be long, and tell everyone I know how much this film
completely sucks and how the originals and all copies should be burned.
First off, it fails right off for having a weak and unbelievable story, all thanks to the brilliantly moronic Anderson. Full of holes. An ancient pyramid, reminiscent of the Cube, 2000 feet below the ice in Antarctica? Riiiiiight. Predators have hunted humans for years, so let's send some adolescent ones to go after the fiercest species in the universe, and hey, let's only have them do it every 100 years .Riiiight. A chained up Queen Alien that's also been frozen and imprisoned by some wimpy ass Mongoloid Predators that get schooled like little b*tches? Riiiiight. A Predator and a woman make friends and the Predator even makes a shield and spear for her out of an Alien carcass? Oh-f-ing-KAY! I'll stop, but it doesn't take a film professor to see where this is going. They might as well have put an Alien Predator sex scene in it. So much potential and this was what Anderson shat out.
Anyone with even a lick of respect for either franchise can see how utterly stupid this film was even before any production was set forth. It gets even worse. Why in the hell would you claim to be a fan of both franchises and then go against many things we know about both creatures and make yourself look like a fool? Easy, Anderson is a fool. Face-huggers now fall off within minutes of attachment, the gestation period for the chest-bursters is now also a few minutes .and, to top it all off their blood is only sporadically acidic. How's that for consistency? Want more? Why in the hell would Predators set up an entire human civilization to perpetuate their ritual Alien hunts and bring weapons with them that melt when they come in contact with Alien blood? If these things have been hunting Aliens for hundreds of years, you'd think they'd be smarter than that.
And while we're at it, let's change the way the Predators and Aliens look. The Preds in this film look like they have down syndrome with their masks off. The fact that they look like linebackers doesn't help either. The original in 1987 looked infinitely better and more realistic, not like some lumbering oaf in a rubber suit. And just to make them fiercer, as if it were needed, let's make the Aliens so that they can open their mouths as wide as a Muppet, particularly Guy Smiley, can. This is the material we waited 14 years for?! I actually felt sorry for the Predators in this movie, they're just sad. On top of looking like they rode in on the short ship, they get their asses KICKED. Colonial Marines did better against a HIVE of Aliens than the Preds did against a few running around .and these were friggin' Predators!!! I thought the Predators hunted the ALIENS? These Preds were sissies, and were about as stealthy as a rhino giving birth during an electrical storm. Utterly ridiculous.
The cinematography used is entirely out of place. The quick-cut editing used during the fight scenes is some of the worst I've seen to date. You can't see anything that's going on and you might as well not even see the fights at all. That's exactly what I was looking forward to after 14 years, especially in a film with 'Vs.' in the title. While some of this may be possibly attributed to the studio axing it to make it PG-13, the shots that are left are far too close to the action, leading me to believe that this may have not been the studio's fault as some Anderson supporters claim. It's truly confusing and annoying. Straight out of The Blair Witch Project. And let's not forget to throw some Matrix bullet time into a face-hugger sequence, we'd be lost without that. And for a film that is obviously meant to be action-packed, it certainly isn't. Half of its measly runtime is spent setting up this ridiculous scenario. Where is the damn epic showdown?! This was a Versus movie right?
End of 'spoilers'.
And to all of you people defending this film, what in the hell are you thinking? Just because you're a fan of both franchises doesn't mean you have to swallow this and embarrass yourself on these pages. We deserved more. If you are OK with this film and do find it enjoyable, you are completely void of any taste in film. I simply do not understand your mediocrity.
For having more potential than almost any film in the last decade and releasing this stank pickle, I give AVP 1/10. R.I.P. Alien and Predator.
Okay, I'll confess that the only reason I registered at this site is to
tell people how bad this movie really is.
AVP is embarrassing, the whole thing gives you the impression of an empty commercial exploitation on the well-known monsters images.
Anyone who comes to this kinda of review sites and gives this movie a 10 out of 10 is either a Fox films employee or related to the film crew somehow. Don't fall for it.
The whole idea of teen Predators hunting Aliens to become "real warriors" is idiotic. How can you compare a high tech civilization that is able to travel space to Indians? Okay, maybe It is possible they would have the same kind of ritual, after all why can't highly developed species have their rituals...
I was intrigued about how the first time a Predator blew itself up on top of the Pyramid it did not damage the construction at all.... Of course, the second time that another Predator did that, the whole thing fell apart.
It is laughable the friendship among the hero-chick and the teen Predator. I could almost see them holding hands and running away in the end of the movie. It turns out that the Predator developed feelings for her. I wonder why the Predators first came down from the sky shooting the hell out of the other guys who stayed in the abandoned whailing facility, no questions asked. Still wondering...
I didn't like the "new" Alien life cycle. The face-hugger burst out as an alien in 40 seconds. This is truly ridiculous. Anderson did not even take the time to watch the original Alien movie.
On top of that, the cast is composed by a bunch obscure nobodies in shallow roles. Even if they were any good, the lines they received would just have made them look as bad as they did.
As an Alien and Predator fan I felt I was disrespected. If you are too, you will know what I am talking about
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