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AVP: Alien vs. Predator
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18 out of 34 people found the following review useful:

AVP fans avert your eyes

Author: sharpefamily-1 from United Kingdom
17 May 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Paul WS Anderson has made a major achievement. He has made a film worse than "Alien Resurrection". AVP is a film for which I can think of a few people want Anderson shot for creating this rubbish. He tries to create tension by building up slowly but unlike Aliens where this worked , it just bores me stiff. He makes two massive mistakes with the film. Firstly the gore is gone in Great Britain this is the first "Alien" or "Predator" film not to be an 18, this shows as there is nothing worth even flinching at in the film.The second is that the film tampers with alien biology it actualty hurts. The only two major changes in almost twenty years were the addition of ridges on their heads in "Aliens" and the eggs being able to squirm in "Alien Ressurrection" Every other Aliens has the time between Alien embryo going in and chestburster coming out to be a day or so. Anderson turns this into mere minutes a shocking drop that makes me annoyed as a fan of the francise. I don't encourage illegal free downloads but that is the only way the purchace of this movie is a good price,a pathetic director at his most pathetic.

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18 out of 34 people found the following review useful:

animals vs dickheads with braids

Author: pookey56 from Canada
3 October 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

i know it's a little late to be commenting on this film but i am compelled to say that this is the most morally depraved, reprehensible film i have seen in a long time. i have no issues with the production values or fx, but this film suggests that we should be siding with a PREDATOR that enslaves other species, sets themselves up as gods, requires sacrifice, and "hunts" with honour. this film makes Jason and Freddie seem like regular folks. at least with them there is no pretense of honourable conduct. i pity the actors in this film, some of whom are classically trained and have done some good works in the past. children and people with the minds of children are going to be watching this film, readily available for rent and purchase anywhere. so it's OK to enslave other species for our entertainment, expect sacrifices, set yourself up as gods, and kill as a rite of passage or sport or culture. i didn't notice any predator eating their prey but they did take trophies. i sided with the ALIENS in this pathetic film. as dangerous as they were, they were victims. their queen was chained up and frozen. they were expatriated against their will. it reminds me of what some people do around here, shooting, albeit less dangerous animals inside enclosures where they have almost no hope of escaping. anybody who watched and enjoyed this film certainly aren't people i want to befriend. i voted this film as the worst of 2004 at the razzies. it didn't win, but it certainly did with me. this film should have an 18+ rating. Klingons have honour. these predators are like the worst of mankind. the only thing superior about these creatures was their technology. shame on the director, shame on the writers, and shame on the producers of this pathetic excuse for a movie, clearly showing that technological development doesn't necessarily coincide with any moral development. an offensive piece of garbage all around.

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33 out of 64 people found the following review useful:

My vision...

Author: bloodraven944 from United States
30 June 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Well, I saw this movie for the first time today. I know, its been out for two years. Well, I heard all the bad press, and I didn't want to ruin two of my favorite franchises with one simple movie. But, I was bored, and decided that today, will be my day.

So, I watched it. Wow. I hate that I waited so long to see this movie. I put it off for two years, I should have seen it in the cinema.

Imagine hearing that someone was going to cut the skin off of your face. Now, imagine that you could have had it done right as soon as you heard about it, or you where given the choice to put it off for a couple years. Now, imagine waiting that two years, knowing that it's going to happen. Every day you just get one step closer to the worst pain you have ever felt in your life. Then the day comes, and as it is happening, all you can think to yourself is you should have gotten it done the day you found out, instead of waiting. Cause the pain is so much worse now.

That is exactly the way this movie was for me. EXACTLY the way it was. Well, maybe not exactly. This was actually worse than that! The plot had so many holes in it, I thought it was that pair of socks you have that you wear everyday, and have worn them since 1994, because they are you're lucky socks. Sure, they smell a little, and there isn't much cloth yet, but I can't just throw them away! Not only was the plot terrible, lets talk about acting, because apparently, they did not discuss it before casting anyone for this debacle! Cookie cutter lines muttered by people who's names you don't even know until they are about to die, and someone just screams their name saying "God no! Please don't die! I've known you for five whole minutes! PLEASE GOD WHY! WHY TAKE....uhmm...Jonathon? FROM ME!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!!!" And lastly, let's get down to the real subject matter. Aliens fighting predators. Seriously, how do you screw that up? You could have the two picking their noses and it would work. They could hold battle raps and it would be an entertaining fight (GROWL!!! SNARL SNARL SNARL!!! GURGLE GURLGE!!! YO MOMMAS A HOE!).

THERE ARE TWO FIGHTS IN THIS MOVIE!!! TWO!!! What? How do you get two fights in a movie that has a runtime of one hour and forty minutes? Wait, that is including the 12 minutes of credits, isn't it....yeah it is. Okay, one hour, twenty-eight minutes. TWO FIGHTS?!?!?!? And those weren't even that entertaining. Seriously, I told my friend to give me five minutes, and I bet I could come up with a plot outline that makes more sense and is a million times more entertaining. It took me all of thirty seconds to have an entire plot line written, and here it is for your pleasure:

Alien Vs Predator (the none sucky version)

Movie opens with a predator fighting an alien.

Then, more aliens come, and the fight starts to get real intense.

Then more predators come, and the fight gets insane.

This fight lasts for an hour and a half.

Predators win. The End.

Role credits.

BAM! See, you KNOW that is more entertaining. Now, Paul Anderson has made one really good movie, and two movies that were okay. Yes, he is a step above Uwe Boll...but still. How do you take the awesomeness that this movie could have been, and make a crap-fest of it all? Yes, crap-fest was the best I could come up with. The thesaurus didn't have anything under crap fest...except flapdoodle....which I considered for a bit.

Anyway, this movie sucks more than any sucking thing has ever sucked. I give it 1 star.

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40 out of 78 people found the following review useful:

Some cool scenes but mostly a disappointment

Author: christian123
12 March 2005

Alien Vs. Predator has some cool scenes and some other entertaining moments but mostly the film is a disappointment. The fast-breeding creatures from the Aliens films take on the headhunting space colonizers from Predator in a battle for the earth, leaving a poor team of Antarctic archaeologist's and the rest of us lowly humans trapped in the middle. The plot does sound like it has potential and if it was rated R it could have been a lot better. The execution wasn't very good though since its just not very exciting. The death scenes are lame as you can't even see what's going on. Most of the action scenes are boring and that's a problem since that's one of the main reasons why a person may watch this film. The acting is terrible but its normal for this type of film. The most notable person in this film you might recognize is Sanaa Lathan but she of course doesn't add much to the film. The rest of the actors are of course bad and you have a better chance of laughing then being scared. The film is predictable because you know where its going and who's going to survive. The dialog is bad and funny but in a bad way, which is always a bad thing. Yet even with all this negativity I didn't completely hate it. Some of the action scenes were cool and its a pretty movie to look at, especially the creature special effects. Paul Anderson shouldn't be blamed as Fox wanted to edit the movie and make it earn more money. The films running time of 102 minutes feels a lot longer though. Rating 5/10 I had some fun watching this but this film is for hardcore fans only and even they will probably hate it.

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72 out of 142 people found the following review useful:

Complete and utter failure.

Author: Manthorpe from Austin, TX
31 August 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

AVP fails on several levels. It completely fails as an addition to both series, and it fails as a film itself. When I heard Anderson was in charge of this project, I knew that it couldn't be good news….and then when the PG-13 rating came along, my fears were multiplied and confirmed. A huge fan of both series, I wanted more than anything to like this film and for it to at least be average. After all, I cannot think of many film ideas that have had more potential. This very well could have been the best action and sci-fi film ever created, only if it had a decent director. I actually gave Anderson a chance, a 10% chance of making an average film, and a 0% chance of making it into what it deserved and had the potential to be. Those who gave him more should be embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that I paid to see it, however, I have a unique way of justifying it. Since I paid for it, the only way I can redeem myself is to rip this excuse for a film apart in this review, which will be long, and tell everyone I know how much this film completely sucks and how the originals and all copies should be burned.

MASSIVE spoilers:

First off, it fails right off for having a weak and unbelievable story, all thanks to the brilliantly moronic Anderson. Full of holes. An ancient pyramid, reminiscent of the Cube, 2000 feet below the ice in Antarctica? Riiiiiight. Predators have hunted humans for years, so let's send some adolescent ones to go after the fiercest species in the universe, and hey, let's only have them do it every 100 years….Riiiight. A chained up Queen Alien that's also been frozen and imprisoned by some wimpy ass Mongoloid Predators that get schooled like little b*tches? Riiiiight. A Predator and a woman make friends and the Predator even makes a shield and spear for her out of an Alien carcass? Oh-f-ing-KAY! I'll stop, but it doesn't take a film professor to see where this is going. They might as well have put an Alien Predator sex scene in it. So much potential and this was what Anderson shat out.

Anyone with even a lick of respect for either franchise can see how utterly stupid this film was even before any production was set forth. It gets even worse. Why in the hell would you claim to be a fan of both franchises and then go against many things we know about both creatures and make yourself look like a fool? Easy, Anderson is a fool. Face-huggers now fall off within minutes of attachment, the gestation period for the chest-bursters is now also a few minutes….and, to top it all off their blood is only sporadically acidic. How's that for consistency? Want more? Why in the hell would Predators set up an entire human civilization to perpetuate their ritual Alien hunts and bring weapons with them that melt when they come in contact with Alien blood? If these things have been hunting Aliens for hundreds of years, you'd think they'd be smarter than that.

And while we're at it, let's change the way the Predators and Aliens look. The Preds in this film look like they have down syndrome with their masks off. The fact that they look like linebackers doesn't help either. The original in 1987 looked infinitely better and more realistic, not like some lumbering oaf in a rubber suit. And just to make them fiercer, as if it were needed, let's make the Aliens so that they can open their mouths as wide as a Muppet, particularly Guy Smiley, can. This is the material we waited 14 years for?! I actually felt sorry for the Predators in this movie, they're just sad. On top of looking like they rode in on the short ship, they get their asses KICKED. Colonial Marines did better against a HIVE of Aliens than the Preds did against a few running around….and these were friggin' Predators!!! I thought the Predators hunted the ALIENS? These Preds were sissies, and were about as stealthy as a rhino giving birth during an electrical storm. Utterly ridiculous.

The cinematography used is entirely out of place. The quick-cut editing used during the fight scenes is some of the worst I've seen to date. You can't see anything that's going on and you might as well not even see the fights at all. That's exactly what I was looking forward to after 14 years, especially in a film with 'Vs.' in the title. While some of this may be possibly attributed to the studio axing it to make it PG-13, the shots that are left are far too close to the action, leading me to believe that this may have not been the studio's fault as some Anderson supporters claim. It's truly confusing and annoying. Straight out of The Blair Witch Project. And let's not forget to throw some Matrix bullet time into a face-hugger sequence, we'd be lost without that. And for a film that is obviously meant to be action-packed, it certainly isn't. Half of its measly runtime is spent setting up this ridiculous scenario. Where is the damn epic showdown?! This was a Versus movie right?

End of 'spoilers'.

And to all of you people defending this film, what in the hell are you thinking? Just because you're a fan of both franchises doesn't mean you have to swallow this and embarrass yourself on these pages. We deserved more. If you are OK with this film and do find it enjoyable, you are completely void of any taste in film. I simply do not understand your mediocrity.

For having more potential than almost any film in the last decade and releasing this stank pickle, I give AVP 1/10. R.I.P. Alien and Predator.

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211 out of 420 people found the following review useful:

It amazes me so much on how the film lacks on what the title promises.

Author: criehle from United States
12 February 2005

Many fans want different things from this film. Many fans, including myself, were hoping to see lots and lots of action. One Alien & Predator battle after another. Some fans were hoping for a edge of your seat, truly terrifying horror movie much like the original Alien. No matter what you want, hope, or expect from this film you will be disappointed.

The direction this film takes is a horror route. It tries to be like the original Alien movie in the sense that the horror has to come more from the characters and their fear than from the monsters themselves. Paul Anderson tries to show as little Alien & Predator as possible without being ridiculous and let the actors & characters sell us the fear. Now this sounds like a good approach to a film and normally it would be. Here however it is the reason the films fall flat on its face. The problem being is that the characters aren't interesting and their actually paper thin cut outs. And after a short while the characters become boring and un-interesting and then u begin to long for either an Alien or a Predator to show up and start killing people.

But as I said, Paul Anderson tries to hide the monsters and show as little as possible much like the formula Ridley Scott & James Cameron used for their films. And thats where the film fails. Fans come to see this movie to see Aliens & Predators fighting. They don't come to see Sanna Lathan and the other people run around a dark pyramid. Fans didn't wait 14 years to see paper thin characters run around all over the place. They go to see Aliens & Predators.

The film should have taken the action route and gives us large amounts of AVP battles. However Paul Anderson only gives us ONE, count them One, true fight scene between an ALien & predator. And that fight scene doesn't occur until half-way through the film and it only lasts 2 minutes. 2 minutes. As a fan I did not wait this long to see a AVP movie only to have one battle that lasts 2 minutes.

Above I said "true battle" because there is technically another battle. It is between a Predator, Lex, and an Alien Queen. Much like the first AVP battle it is disappointingly short and 90% of the battle focuses on lex fighting the queen than it does focus on the Predator. After a while you begin to think the title "Alien vs. Predator" is inappropriate and instead should be called "The Adventures of Lex". Paul Andersons direction leaves out the two title characters.

The idea of hiding your monsters appearance till half way through the film and rely more on your characters is a formula that has worked in the past. It even potentially could have worked here but in order for that to happen you need to do one thing. Make the characters more interesting. If your characters are paper thin then the audience aren't going to care about them and then they quickly become bored. The film should have done is focus less on characters and more on the monsters. It amazes me so much on how the film lacks on what the title promises.

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215 out of 428 people found the following review useful:

An utter work of genius

Author: eboxtree
2 July 2006

Many people castigate Paul Anderson for destroying both the Alien and Predator franchises. I must say that they have no clue and the director/writer is a true genius for having pulled this movie off. Notice that I did'nt say that this movie itself was great but it was a work of genius. So what is the movie like? It is by far one of the worst and most disgusting pieces of crap that will kill your interest in both the Alien and predator. But don't you get it? That's the point.

Paul Anderson obviously hates the fans of the franchises and has been hating them for a while now. He hates them beyond anything and they must be made to pay dearly and suffer. So in a brilliant plan, he manages to fraud the fools at Fox to give him the project. He did that despite the fact that his previous movies were laughable. Now isn't that just genius? Anderson has made a joke out of every single thing that made the concepts stand out. Your innocent curiosity will make you sit through his parody in hopes of some big twist but it never happens. Scene after Scene is one joke after another. How can anyone possibly imagine a bullet-time mode for an Alien attack? All this has been done very intentionally and nobody realises that. Once you've watched this movie, there's nothing you can do about it. You've lost and Anderson has won. His revenge on fans is complete. Hes also left room for a sequel by including a predalien birth at the end, further putting a big hole in future stories. He makes a ton of money too. Genius.

Oh, I should have said EVIL genius.


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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:


Author: morganstephens512 from United States
26 October 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I really do not have anything else to say about this film aside from the fact that it was just average, but not needed to be made at all. I do think that the soundtrack was pretty decent and there was good action scenes, almost even great. But I didn't care for the characters at all and the effects seemed almost too realistic for their own good. I know that it sounds odd for me to say that, but that was just how I felt about the whole thing. So with a good soundtrack and action, but bad acting and too realistic effects, the film just ends up being totally average.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Gave Me What I Wanted

Author: XenoRaven180
6 October 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie is a good movie not because it has a Great Story, or Incredible Characters, or even gory character deaths, but what it does well is pacing, once the first fight between an Alien and Predator happens, the movie Never slows down their is always something happening or about to happen until the end of the final fight.

The action for the most part is Incredible! The first fight is Easily the Best, while their are some dumb moments in the fight (theirs a bit in the beginning of that fight where the alien's flipping like a fish on the beach trying to stand up on legs it doesn't have) Though their are some Great moments in the fight such as; how the environment is used to pretty good effect.

However the final fight between Lex and the Scar Predator work together to fight the Alien Queen is underwhelming because the Predator almost never does anything to the queen, although the fight uses the environment Very Well and without it they would've all died.

In conclusion Alien Vs. Predator is a movie for those who want to see Aliens and Predators Beating each other up, however if you want a movie with a focus on story you may be disappointed, for me I think this movie is a lot of fun too watch.

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

They tried for years to get this film this is what we got

Author: UofSciFi from Kingsport Tennessee
5 October 2017

They have been trying for years to get this film what did you think of it? Is it what you expected? Is this the film you would've'e made if you were in control? If you are like most of us then your answers to the above questions are probably No, No, No and No However it is not all bad fact there were parts of this film that I really enjoyed. My biggest disappointment is that it didn't follow the ALIEN VS PREDATOR story lines that I have learn to enjoy from the paper back novels and comic books.

I wanted to see a movie about humans in the future who are at war with the predator race in space and both are using the alien as a weapon against each other (just like in the novels) Needless to say that isn't the film they made.....

I'm afraid this film falls under the category of movies that i like to call "what could have been...films" Had they followed the story lines used in the paperback novels this could have been the birth of a new major sci-fi franchise that would rivaled the likes of Star Wars, BattleStar Galactica, and Star Trek.

Instead we get to see a gang of twenty somethings go glob trotting in Antartica in a underground pyramid (and most of them are killed off before you even get to know the characters) --and the rest of the movie was just a special effect show At least it was entertaining..and it did have some decent special effects I gave it 5 out of 10 stars

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