Two and a Half Men (2003–2015)
Berta: [whenever she sees a big mess being made] I ain't cleaning that up!
Charlie: [repeated line, whenever he's put in a sticky situation] Uuuuuoo.
Mia: [whenever Charlie says something outrageous] Are you out of your freaking mind?
Alan Harper: [they are just about to sleep] You want to watch porn first?
Alan Harper: Why not?
Charlie: I'm drunk, in bed, in a hotel room with my brother and you want to know why I don't wanna watch porn?
Chelsea: [whenever Charlie says something offensive that drives her away] Drop dead!
Judith Harper: JAAAKE! YOUR FATHER IS HERE!
Charlie: [repeated line, when he senses trouble] Oh boy.
Charlie: [on Jake] How can I be blackmailed by Forrest Gump?
Alan Harper: Okay, name 3 things you would change about me.
Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.
Alan Harper: You're writing a report on The Taming Of The Shrew, not The Voyages Of Cap'n Crunch!
Jake Harper: Too bad. I could write the crap out of that.
Alan Harper: Okay... I'm not fooling around here...! You're gonna finish this DAMN BOOK and write the DAMN REPORT, and you're gonna hand it in on Monday, spell-checked, formatted AND ON FREAKIN' TIME!
Jake Harper: I have my doubts, dad.
Alan Harper: [repeated line, whenever he's stressed out] I-I-I-I-I...
Alan Harper: [when his receptionist keeps staring at him] Have I told you lately you are doing a great job? Because you are doing a great job! In fact, I'm gonna make you employee of the month!
Alan Harper: [Alan is moving out, and Charlie has labeled a box "Porn And Blow-Up Doll"] You couldn't spell "Miscellaneous"?
Charlie: [checking through his contact list] Hookers, hookers, hookers...
Various characters: [repeated line, from women Charlie manages to piss off] You son of a bitch!
Charlie: [to Jake] It's not that I don't care what you want. It's just that you're a kid. What you want doesn't matter.
[Jake looks at him with disdain]
Charlie: Wow, I *do* suck.
Various characters: Rat bastard!