Two and a Half Men (TV Series 2003–2015) Poster


Episode List



5 Jan. 2004
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Berta brings her 16 year old granddaughter to work. She poses issues for the men.
12 Jan. 2004
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.
2 Feb. 2004
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.
9 Feb. 2004
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie--against Alan's advice.
16 Feb. 2004
That Was Saliva, Alan
Now Frankie has tricked the Harpers into taking her and her daughter Joanie in, she explains that Bob's parents want her declared mentally incompetent in order to get custody. Charlie wants to dump her, but Alan insists on taking them both in. Jake doesn't enjoy the 8 year old's 'romantic' attention. Charlie hates the consolation kisses and compliments, and is stunned when Frankie prefers intimacy with Alan. Charlie rightly warns him he's just falling for his 'damsel in distress', but warns her not to hurt his kid brother.
23 Feb. 2004
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Charlie is offended when Alan chooses his married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.
1 Mar. 2004
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.
22 Mar. 2004
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Judith's sister Liz comes for a visit.
19 Apr. 2004
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Jake plays electric guitar all day long and doesn't want to do anything else. Alan and Charlie can't figure out why. Jake refuses to discuss anything with anyone, including his grandmother and even a psychologist.
3 May 2004
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie tries to seduce Alan's divorce lawyer, Laura, and her assistant. He sleeps with Laura and they decide not to tell Alan anything since it's unethical, considering that Charlie is a participant in the case.
10 May 2004
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help their mother, Evelyn, and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.
17 May 2004
Just Like Buffalo
Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.
24 May 2004
Can You Feel My Finger
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).
20 Sep. 2004
Back Off Mary Poppins
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.
27 Sep. 2004
Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.
4 Oct. 2004
A Bag Full of Jawea
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.
11 Oct. 2004
Go Get Mommy's Bra
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.
18 Oct. 2004
Bad News from the Clinic
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.
25 Oct. 2004
The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.
8 Nov. 2004
A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.
15 Nov. 2004
Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.
22 Nov. 2004
Yes, Monsignor
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.
29 Nov. 2004
The Salmon Under My Sweater
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.
13 Dec. 2004
Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.

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See also

Episode Cast | Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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