Two and a Half Men (TV Series 2003–2015) Poster


Episode List


Season 3

19 Sep. 2005
Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.
26 Sep. 2005
Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Alan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.
3 Oct. 2005
Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.
10 Oct. 2005
Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.
17 Oct. 2005
We Called It Mr. Pinky
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.
24 Oct. 2005
Hi, Mr. Horned One
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.
7 Nov. 2005
Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.
14 Nov. 2005
That Voodoo That I Do Do
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.
21 Nov. 2005
Madame and Her Special Friend
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.
28 Nov. 2005
Something Salted and Twisted
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.
19 Dec. 2005
Santa's Village of the Damned
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.
9 Jan. 2006
That Special Tug
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.
23 Jan. 2006
Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.
6 Feb. 2006
Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.
27 Feb. 2006
My Tongue Is Meat
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.
6 Mar. 2006
Ergo, the Booty Call
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.
13 Mar. 2006
The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.
20 Mar. 2006
The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.
10 Apr. 2006
Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.
24 Apr. 2006
Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now that his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub...
1 May 2006
And the Plot Moistens
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.
8 May 2006
Just Once with Aunt Sophie
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...
15 May 2006
Arguments for the Quickie
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.
22 May 2006
That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.

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Rated Episodes (by date / vote)| TV Schedule

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