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Episodes cast for
"Two and a Half Men" (2003) More at IMDbPro »

Season: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
Year: 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014


Season 1


Season 1, Episode 0: Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal: Original Pilot

22 September 2003
After his wife kicks him out of the house, Alan has to move in with his brother Charlie.

Season 1, Episode 1: Pilot

22 September 2003
After 12 years of marriage, his wife Judith, kicks Alan out. He turns to his older brother Charlie for help. Charlie has trouble adjusting his carefree lifestyle with the presence of his 10 year old nephew.

Season 1, Episode 2: Big Flappy Bastards

29 September 2003
Alan punishes Jake for an incident at Judith's house. Charlie is lax in enforcing Alan's restrictions, then some seagulls invade Charlie's house as a result of Jake's actions, Charlie has to learn how to discipline his nephew.

Season 1, Episode 3: Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell

6 October 2003
Charlie and Alan go out drinking. Alan tries to reconcile with his wife, after that fails. They decide to confront the root of their issues, their mother.

Season 1, Episode 4: If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap

13 October 2003
As Charlie tries to write a new jingle, Berta quits. Alan tries to convince her to come back. Leaving Charlie to get Jake ready for a dinner. And Rose tries to get Charlie's help to prepare for a date.

Season 1, Episode 5: The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump

20 October 2003
Jake's soccer games lead to Alan and Charlie having encounters with teammates' sexy mothers.

Season 1, Episode 6: Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?

27 October 2003
Charlie and Evelyn date members of the same family.

Season 1, Episode 7: If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake

3 November 2003
Jake sees a butterfly tattoo on the firm bottom of a surfer-chick friend of Charlie's, which is the start a string of harmless events that become larger and more disastrous with each action. This is not unlike the famous chaos theory's Butterfly Effect, asking if the flap of a butterfly's wing in Brazil, could set off a tornado in Texas.

Season 1, Episode 8: Twenty-five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful

10 November 2003
After being tricked into helping Alan and Judith produce Jake's classroom musical, Charlie is flattered to find out that the kids know all the words to his jingles. Alan is blind-sided with divorce papers from Judith, causing strife which results in Charlie, who refuses to deal with the pre-pubers without a snootful, having to produce the play on his own. Jake is crushed when he realizes that a reconciliation between his parents may never happen.

Season 1, Episode 9: Phase One, Complete

17 November 2003
Charlie wants to dump a female friend to whom Jake has grown attached. Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble.

Season 1, Episode 10: Merry Thanksgiving

24 November 2003
Thanksgiving winds up being the least thankful day of the year for Charlie, who has to bribe various members of his household to even come to a traditional turkey dinner. Not only are the usual feuds in evidence (leading to a turkey-carving right out of "Psycho") but Judith's parents are actually sympathetic to Alan and hostile to their own daughter for her "fling" with lesbianism.

Season 1, Episode 11: Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor

15 December 2003
Seeing Judith's new look and boyfriend prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he will need to change his look also.

Season 1, Episode 12: Camel Filters and Pheromones

5 January 2004
Berta brings her 16 year old granddaughter to work. She poses issues for the men.

Season 1, Episode 13: Sarah Like Puny Alan

12 January 2004
Charlie tries to nurse Alan back from the flu because he needs him for a double date with sisters.

Season 1, Episode 14: I Can't Afford Hyenas

2 February 2004
Charlie's accountant Stan tries to make Charlie understand his desperate financial situation.

Season 1, Episode 15: Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick

9 February 2004
Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie--against Alan's advice.

Season 1, Episode 16: That Was Saliva, Alan

16 February 2004
Now Frankie has tricked the Harpers into taking her and her daughter Joanie in, she explains that Bob's parents want her declared mentally incompetent in order to get custody. Charlie wants to dump her, but Alan insists on taking them both in. Jake doesn't enjoy the 8 year old's 'romantic' attention. Charlie hates the consolation kisses and compliments, and is stunned when Frankie prefers intimacy with Alan. Charlie rightly warns him he's just falling for his 'damsel in distress', but warns her not to hurt his kid brother.

Season 1, Episode 17: Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats

23 February 2004
Charlie is offended when Alan chooses his married, responsible cousins as Jake's guardians.

Season 1, Episode 18: An Old Flame with a New Wick

1 March 2004
Charlie's old flame, Jill, comes for a visit, she had an operation and is now called "Bill." Then Evelyn starts dating Bill.

Season 1, Episode 19: I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You

22 March 2004
Judith's sister Liz comes for a visit.

Season 1, Episode 20: Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark

19 April 2004
Jake plays electric guitar all day long and doesn't want to do anything else. Alan and Charlie can't figure out why. Jake refuses to discuss anything with anyone, including his grandmother and even a psychologist.

Season 1, Episode 21: No Sniffing, No Wowing

3 May 2004
Charlie tries to seduce Alan's divorce lawyer, Laura, and her assistant. He sleeps with Laura and they decide not to tell Alan anything since it's unethical, considering that Charlie is a participant in the case.

Season 1, Episode 22: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet

10 May 2004
Charlie notices that Alan sleepwalks and tries to find out what's causing it and how to deal with it. He asks for help their mother, Evelyn, and Jake's psychologist, Dr. Linda Freeman.

Season 1, Episode 23: Just Like Buffalo

17 May 2004
Jake repeats something Charlie says to Judith. Then Judith refuses to let Alan take Jake for the weekend. Alan tries to talk to Judith, but encounters resistance from Judith and her friends. It's up to Charlie to set things right.

Season 1, Episode 24: Can You Feel My Finger

24 May 2004
Charlie is sure he isn't ready for fatherhood after a year of trying to raise Jake, so he opts to have a vasectomy. But when the doctor performing the procedure keeps getting calls from his wife -- who's about to give birth -- Charlie starts to think about what fatherhood might entail and likes the idea, provided he still has his vital organs intact (in more ways than one).

Season 2


Season 2, Episode 1: Back Off Mary Poppins

20 September 2004
Charlie is having some friends coming over to his house to have a gathering but Alan is not invited. Things got worse when Alan is also not invited to Judith's party even though her guests are Alan's friends.

Season 2, Episode 2: Enjoy Those Garlic Balls

27 September 2004
Alan is hurt after finding out Judith is seeing Jake's pediatrician. Meanwhile, Evelyn tries to find out why Charlie hates her.

Season 2, Episode 3: A Bag Full of Jawea

4 October 2004
After Jake flips off his teacher, Alan and Judith move to punish him. Charlie, meanwhile, has other plans for Jake's teacher. Chaos ensues when Jake discovers the relationship and the increasingly overbearing Miss Pasternak tells Charlie she believes God brought them together.

Season 2, Episode 4: Go Get Mommy's Bra

11 October 2004
After Charlie reluctantly lends Evelyn his new car, he later discovers her bra in the back seat. Meanwhile, Alan is forced to compensate after Jake gets attached to Judith's rich and talented boyfriend.

Season 2, Episode 5: Bad News from the Clinic

18 October 2004
Charlie is dating a self-assured woman who plays hard to get, easily dismisses him, and he finds it disarming. Rose gets Charlie to see that his new lady-friend, Sherry, is in his head because she is just like him; a self-centered, manipulative, narcissist. Charlie debates breaking it off. Alan and Jake fiercely battle wills over Jake doing his homework.

Season 2, Episode 6: The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance

25 October 2004
After confessing responsibility for a childhood shoplifting incident blamed on Alan, Charlie seeks the forgiveness of his now infuriated brother.

Season 2, Episode 7: A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana

8 November 2004
Evelyn announces she is receiving an honor from the real estate industry and that Charlie and Alan will host a party in her honor. Mayhem ensues when Berta and her sister agree to cater the event, but sibling rivalry takes center stage.

Season 2, Episode 8: Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers

15 November 2004
Alan gets carried away with a woman he met at the supermarket, and it's up to Charlie to talk some sense into him while shielding Jake and Judith from what's going on.

Season 2, Episode 9: Yes, Monsignor

22 November 2004
Charlie runs into a newly-divorced ex, now single mom, who's willing to give him another shot. Back home, Jake tries to diagnose his learning problems.

Season 2, Episode 10: The Salmon Under My Sweater

29 November 2004
Charlie struggles to write a jingle for a new cartoon. Meanwhile, Alan spends time with Rose, and Jake procrastinates doing a book report.

Season 2, Episode 11: Last Chance to See Those Tattoos

13 December 2004
Charlie sets out to find who started a derogatory web site about him. Meanwhile, Alan overhears something he shouldn't on Jake's webcam.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Marin Hinkle ... Judith Harper

Melanie Lynskey ... Rose

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Jodi Lyn O'Keefe ... Gail

Jennifer Taylor ... Tina

Julie Dickens ... Montage Beautiful Woman

Ana Alexander ... Montage Doctor

Nicole Forester ... Girl on Answering Machine (voice) (uncredited)

Season 2, Episode 12: A Lung Full of Alan

3 January 2005
An old classmate is in town while Charlie and Alan spar over whom she likes more.

Season 2, Episode 13: Zejdz z Zmoich Wlosów

17 January 2005
Tensions rise after an earthquake displaces Judith to Charlie's house.

Season 2, Episode 14: Those Big Pink Things with Coconut

31 January 2005
Evelyn's condescending attitude towards Jake's good grades sets Charlie and Alan out for revenge.

Season 2, Episode 15: Smell the Umbrella Stand

7 February 2005
Charlie and Alan's weekend trip to Las Vegas has a little trouble getting off the ground.

Season 2, Episode 16: Can You Eat Human Flesh with Wooden Teeth?

14 February 2005
It's the week of hell as Judith's out of town, Alan's got Jake, and nothing seems to be going right.

Season 2, Episode 17: Woo-Hoo, a Hernia-Exam!

21 February 2005
Berta teaches Jake something about cleanliness while Charlie's in pain after a sexual encounter went horribly wrong.

Season 2, Episode 18: It Was Mame, Mom

7 March 2005
Charlie cons Alan into being his date at his gay friend's dinner party. But how long can they keep up the act?

Season 2, Episode 19: A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise

21 March 2005
A freak food-flinging accident leaves Alan with impaired vision, which doesn't bode well especially when he draws a liking to one of Charlie's exs.

Season 2, Episode 20: I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey

18 April 2005
Rose intervenes after Alan and Charlie come to blows over some of their unresolved issues.

Season 2, Episode 21: A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On

2 May 2005
After one of her ex-husbands dies, Evelyn summons Alan, Charlie, and Jake to the funeral, where Charlie takes a keen interest in the widow.

Season 2, Episode 22: That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother

9 May 2005
Alan borrows money from Evelyn to buy a Porsche. However, life doesn't become as glamorous as he expects.

Season 2, Episode 23: Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab

16 May 2005
After finding out that Jake has spent the night at his other grandparents's house, Evelyn insists that Jake spend a night at her place. After convincing Jake to stay at her place, Alan and Charlie worry about how Jake will be affected by his overnight visit.

Season 2, Episode 24: Does This Smell Funny to You

23 May 2005
Jake recounts his weekend in which Charlie's latest fling is with a woman who turns out to be married to a now very angry old man.

Season 3


Season 3, Episode 1: Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts

19 September 2005
After Alan falls off the roof, Charlie has to look after the adolescent and increasingly obnoxious Jake for the weekend.

Season 3, Episode 2: Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover

26 September 2005
Alan has to lobby the principal to keep Jake from getting expelled, while Charlie is left to manage the chiropractic office for the day.

Season 3, Episode 3: Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark

3 October 2005
After it's revealed Alan and Judith have been trying to reconcile, Charlie, Evelyn, and Rose vie for the role of spoiler.

Season 3, Episode 4: Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs

10 October 2005
Alan looks for a new place after he invites Berta to stay at Charlie's house, bringing the brothers to blows.

Season 3, Episode 5: We Called It Mr. Pinky

17 October 2005
Charlie's inability to reciprocate his girlfriend's love forces him to examine his relationships with women.

Season 3, Episode 6: Hi, Mr. Horned One

24 October 2005
Charlie's Satan-worshiping girlfriend has a knack for the supernatural, and seems to be the cause of some strange happenings around the Harper house.

Season 3, Episode 7: Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop

7 November 2005
Charlie gets drunk and sleeps with Rose on her birthday. Rose says she knows it's no big deal. But her father quickly shows up at Charlie's house, under the impression that they've been dating for two years.

Season 3, Episode 8: That Voodoo That I Do Do

14 November 2005
Charlie bribes Jake into taking ballet lessons so he can vie for the affections of the teacher. Things go awry, however, when Charlie and Jake find themselves competing for those affections.

Season 3, Episode 9: Madame and Her Special Friend

21 November 2005
Charlie's elderly neighbor has an uncomfortable business proposition for Alan.

Season 3, Episode 10: Something Salted and Twisted

28 November 2005
After Alan goes on a dinner with Jake, Charlie and Evelyn, he becomes fed up with seeking approval from women and decides to quit doing so with a little help from Charlie.

Season 3, Episode 11: Santa's Village of the Damned

19 December 2005
Alan's girlfriend Sandy is Malibu's answer to Martha Stewart, causing Alan and Charlie to pack on the pounds. Their desire for her fabulous culinary output is ultimately overwhelmed by her craziness.

Season 3, Episode 12: That Special Tug

9 January 2006
After a disastrous evening out with his brother, Charlie decides it is time to see a shrink.

Season 3, Episode 13: Humiliation Is a Visual Medium

23 January 2006
Charlie has to decide whether he can really commit to a serious relationship with Mia, especially when sex is currently off the agenda. Unsurprisingly, his suggestion that he sleep with other women in the meantime falls on somewhat stony ground.

Season 3, Episode 14: Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded

6 February 2006
As Charlie tries to receive his version of benefits from the relationship he has with Mia, Alan starts dating Charlie's most recent ex-girlfriend.

Season 3, Episode 15: My Tongue Is Meat

27 February 2006
Forced to hide in his garage to enjoy a brace of beers and half a Cuban cigar, Charlie's attempts to keep his unhealthy lifestyle habits secret from Mia fall apart when she smells bacon on his breath, resulting in their first major argument since taking their relationship to a physical plane.

Season 3, Episode 16: Ergo, the Booty Call

6 March 2006
Jake's twelfth birthday approaches. Alan is busy with young, hot Kandi.

Season 3, Episode 17: The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer

13 March 2006
Charlie is nominated for an award, but he knows his rival Archie will win, as usual, so he doesn't want to attend it. Rose asks Charlie to help her with her boyfriend Gordon.

Season 3, Episode 18: The Spit-Covered Cobbler

20 March 2006
Alan is having financial problems: Kandi is too "expensive" for him.

Season 3, Episode 19: Golly Moses, She's a Muffin

10 April 2006
Charlie learns that Kandi has been living with them for three weeks. It turns out he hasn't even noticed some furniture changes. Alan wants to try her as secretary, but Charlie doesn't think she's smart enough for that.

Season 3, Episode 20: Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro

24 April 2006
Alan is made to admit to Charlie, who keeps hitting it in, he has hit rock-bottom now his brainless girlfriend Kandi has moved in with his ex. It's all so confusing that Jake would prefer dad's ladies to be lesbians, then tells him Kandi's ma Mandi has joined Charlie's endless list of sexual conquests. Alan can't talk to Kandi, she just repeats Judith's phrases, clearly without understanding the words, but he sees her dad, Mandi's ex Andy, arrive on blind date with his own ex Judith. Frolicking finale at Judith's, in rooms, bed and hot-tub...

Season 3, Episode 21: And the Plot Moistens

1 May 2006
Alan turns to Jake's teacher for stimulating conversation, since Kandi obviously can't provide any. But the teacher starts to get the wrong idea about Alan's intentions.

Season 3, Episode 22: Just Once with Aunt Sophie

8 May 2006
Jake has his first boys-girls party, dating a smart girl, Wendy Cho. Alan was looking forward to coaching his son, but even Jake, who spends his schooldays watching the clock tick, isn't dumb enough to consider dating advice from the worst womanizer in L.A., while Charlie proves he can coach a virtually hopeless case -Alan and Judith's genes without the IQ- trough appearance, dance and anything else. In fact Alan envies Jake so much, he still hopes for ...

Season 3, Episode 23: Arguments for the Quickie

15 May 2006
Mia comes back and asks Charlie to donate his sperm. He agrees to, but for some unknown reason he can't deliver.

Season 3, Episode 24: That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite

22 May 2006
Charlie and Mia discover that setting up a wedding with their two crazy families is a disaster, so they decide to get married in Las Vegas.

Season 4


Season 4, Episode 1: Working for Caligula

18 September 2006
Kandi dumps Alan, which forces him and Jake to move back in with Charlie, who was just getting used to getting his bachelor pad back.

Season 4, Episode 2: Who's Vod Kanockers

25 September 2006
Charlie starts to lose control now that Mia's gone and Alan and Jake are back, and his frustration culminates in a violent confrontation with his new neighbor, Steven Tyler.

Season 4, Episode 3: The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress

2 October 2006
In the middle of a near-death experience, Charlie thinks he hears his father's voice tell him to take care of his mother, who is just about to have a "minor procedure" performed on her.

Season 4, Episode 4: A Pot Smoking Monkey

9 October 2006
Alan wants custody of the dog Chester he shared in his late marriage with Kandi. Meanwhile, Charlie helps Jake with his girlfriend.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Marin Hinkle ... Judith Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

April Bowlby ... Kandi

Christopher Neiman ... Joel

Andre Ware ... Officer Chamberlain (as André Ware)

Michael Patrick McGill ... Officer Smith
Karen Baughm ... Det. Grimes

Juan Jose Dubon ... Hot Topic Employee (uncredited)

Holland Taylor ... Evelyn Harper (uncredited)

Season 4, Episode 5: A Live Woman of Proven Fertility

16 October 2006
When Judith announces she is going to remarry, Charlie and Alan must convince her fiancé to proceed with the nuptials after he displays signs of cold feet, so that Alan can discontinue alimony payments to Judith.

Season 4, Episode 6: Apologies for the Frivolity

23 October 2006
Charlie is the last one to realize that he is dating a younger version of his mother.

Season 4, Episode 7: Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head

30 October 2006
Charlie reluctantly agrees to help Berta as she confronts the man who impregnated her youngest daughter and Alan tells Charlie about a secret fetish.

Season 4, Episode 8: Release the Dogs

13 November 2006
After a bout with insomnia, Alan is escorted home from a midnight run on the beach by the local sheriff's department. Jake fights back when Charlie goes back on his word about not dating his friend's mother.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Melanie Lynskey ... Rose

Jane Lynch ... Dr. Linda Freeman

Melanie Abramoff ... Taylor

Kelly King ... Kelly

Bruno Amato ... Officer Roberts
Stefan Umstead ... Officer Foster

John Pirruccello ... Police Helicopter Pilot (voice)

Larry Cedar ... Policeman #1 (voice)

Shane Woodson ... Man

Season 4, Episode 9: Corey's Been Dead for an Hour

20 November 2006
Charlie finally gets fed up with Alan always weaseling his way out of picking up a bill, and it only gets worse when he discovers Alan's secret stash of money.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Melanie Lynskey ... Rose

J.D. Walsh ... Gordon

James Edson ... Bobby

Rachel Cannon ... Nina

Danielle Bisutti ... Vicki

Shon Little ... Snack Bar Cashier

Brendan Patrick Connor ... Middle-Aged Guy
Daniel Benson ... Teenage Boy

Annie Mumolo ... Teenage Girl #1

Ashley Edner ... Teenage Girl #2

Izabel Goulart ... Movie Theater Date (uncredited)

Kevin Knight ... Cashier (uncredited)

Season 4, Episode 10: Kissing Abraham Lincoln

27 November 2006
Charlie's new live-in girlfriend is skating on thin ice with Berta because she threatens Berta's "alpha dog" status, and Kandi lets Alan have sex with her again so that he won't sell the condo.

Season 4, Episode 11: Walnuts and Demerol

11 December 2006
Charlie's quest to get laid on Christmas Eve threatens to fall apart when everybody shows up at his house and refuses to leave.

Season 4, Episode 12: Castrating Sheep in Montana

8 January 2007
Alan is seeing Berta's daughter behind everyone's back. But when Berta finds out, Alan is shocked and a little disturbed by her positive response.

Season 4, Episode 13: Don't Worry, Speed Racer

22 January 2007
Repressed memories come back to the surface for Charlie after Jake talks about hearing his mom having sex.

Season 4, Episode 14: That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami

5 February 2007
Charlie tries to set up Alan with the sexy and rich new next-door neighbor who is looking to settle down. But when Charlie discovers her secret history as a drunken slut, he decides to go after her himself.

Season 4, Episode 15: My Damn Stalker

12 February 2007
Alan takes a stab at online dating, and Rose tells Charlie that she's moving away.

Season 4, Episode 16: Young People Have Phlegm Too

19 February 2007
Charlie tries to convince himself and Alan that he's not too old to be part of the wild, young party crowd.

Season 4, Episode 17: I Merely Slept with a Commie

26 February 2007
After Charlie and Alan tell their mom that nobody loves her enough to attend her funeral, she replaces them with a new family, which makes both of them very jealous.

Season 4, Episode 18: It Never Rains in Hooterville

19 March 2007
Alan feels the pangs of fatherhood disappearing as Jake grows, and contemplates his future with Kandi, who is contemplating on a new career move.

Season 4, Episode 19: Smooth as a Ken Doll

9 April 2007
Alan thinks he's making his last alimony payment to Judith, but Judith's future sister-in-law could be putting the wedding in jeopardy. And things only get worse when she hooks up with Charlie.

Season 4, Episode 20: Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot

16 April 2007
Alan sees nothing but troubles in his future as Charlie's relationship with Judith's future sister-in-law blossoms.

Season 4, Episode 21: Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous

23 April 2007
Everyone suspects that Alan may be coming out of the closet when he becomes good friends with a gay man. But Charlie is actually the one who is suddenly feeling insecure about his sexuality.

Season 4, Episode 22: Mr. McGlue's Feedbag

30 April 2007
When Alan has to go renew his driver's license, he convinces Charlie to help Jake with book report. But when Charlie takes Jake to the track, instead, Jake's horse comes in.

Season 4, Episode 23: Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin

7 May 2007
Charlie hires a handyman to fix his deck, then begins to feel threatened when all the women in his life flock to the new guy.

Season 4, Episode 24: Prostitutes and Gelato

14 May 2007
In an effort to bond with Alan and Charlie, Evelyn's new boyfriend invites them on a trip to Vegas with all the frills.

Season 5


Season 5, Episode 1: Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

24 September 2007
Jake is ready to begin junior high school, until Alan scares him by telling him about all of the horrors that he experienced. Meanwhile, Charlie has a rash in a most inopportune area.

Season 5, Episode 2: Media Room Slash Dungeon

1 October 2007
Charlie and his mom temporarily become friends until Charlie takes an interest in one of her married clients, and Alan goes to bed with a woman who has self-esteem issues.

Season 5, Episode 3: Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

8 October 2007
Charlie humors Alan by going on a date with a woman his own age instead of a young bimbo. But when the woman rejects him after the first date, he becomes obsessed with seeing her again.

Season 5, Episode 4: City of Great Racks

15 October 2007
Charlie is getting serious with Linda. But lately he seems to be seeing his ex-stalker, Rose. Has she returned from England, or is it his imagination?

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper (also archive footage)

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper (also archive footage)

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper (also archive footage)

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Melanie Lynskey ... Rose (also archive footage)

Ming-Na Wen ... Linda Harris (as Ming Wen)

Jane Lynch ... Dr. Linda Freeman
Anna Graves ... Flight Attendant (voice)

Emmanuelle Vaugier ... Mia (archive footage) (uncredited)

Season 5, Episode 5: Putting Swim Fins on a Cat

22 October 2007
Charlie hasn't had a paying gig for months, so Alan becomes part of a drug study to make extra money. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to bond with Linda's four-year-old son.

Season 5, Episode 6: Help Daddy Find His Toenail

29 October 2007
A medication mix-up causes Charlie to humiliate Linda at an important dinner, and Jake disobeys his dad's orders and sneaks out to attend a rock concert.

Season 5, Episode 7: The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room

5 November 2007
After Alan gets in a fight with Charlie over a decorative bowl, Alan and Jake move in with Alan's mom.

Season 5, Episode 8: Is There a Mrs. Waffles?

12 November 2007
Charlie discovers that being a children's singer means making lots of money and picking up single moms. But he also discovers that he's going to have to overcome his fear of performing in front of large audiences.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Richard Kind ... Artie

Ion Overman ... Vicki

Tina Morasco ... Summer
Alexandra Gold Jourden ... Dakota (as Lexi Jourden)

Kate Luyben ... Woman
Gregg Marx ... Announcer (voice)

David Williams ... Concert Kid (uncredited)

Season 5, Episode 9: Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids

19 November 2007
Charlie ignores his future step-father's advice and gets involved with his daughter, and he learns the hard way that he should have heeded the warning.

Season 5, Episode 10: Kinda Like Necrophilia

26 November 2007
Alan finds out that Charlie stole his girlfriend in high school, so he sets out to even the score.

Season 5, Episode 11: Meander to Your Dander

17 March 2008
Alan's latest relationship has grown stale, so he turns to Charlie for advice about how to break up with her.

Season 5, Episode 12: A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh

24 March 2008
Charlie is suffering from a bad cold, and Rose suddenly and mysteriously resurfaces to "take care of him." So why isn't Charlie getting any better?

Season 5, Episode 13: The Soil is Moist

31 March 2008
Alan sleeps with a woman he and Judith were friends with when they were married, who then tells him that Judith says her new husband is a better lover than him.

Season 5, Episode 14: Winky-Dink Time

14 April 2008
Charlie sets up Alan with a prostitute, and accompanies Jake on a double date.

Season 5, Episode 15: Rough Night in Hump Junction

21 April 2008
Charlie is acting even more promiscuous than normal, which is getting him in trouble with a lot of husbands and boyfriends. With the help of his psychiatrist, he discovers it's related to his ex-fiancée's upcoming wedding.

Season 5, Episode 16: Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty

28 April 2008
Alan helps to plan his mother's wedding, and Charlie makes some moves on the woman who will soon be his stepsister.

Season 5, Episode 17: Fish in a Drawer

5 May 2008
Parody of "CSI" in which a body is found in Charlie's bed, and detectives try to figure out who is the killer.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper (also archive footage)

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper (also archive footage)

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta (also archive footage)

Holland Taylor ... Evelyn Harper (also archive footage)

Robert Wagner ... Teddy Leopold (also archive footage)

Jenny McCarthy ... Courtney

Jamie Rose ... Sloane Jagov

Michael Lowry ... Wes Tosterone

Carrie Reichenbach ... Alexis

Hope Allen ... Jenna

John Burke ... Detective Henry Ketchum
Ping Wu ... Coroner

Brett Wagner ... Prison Cell Mate

Nicole Malgarini ... Misty

Hollie Stenson ... Destinee

Nakia Secrest ... Angel (as Nakia Syvonne)

Dan Cole ... Clown

George Eads ... George (uncredited)
Charity Hodges ... Amber (archive footage) (uncredited)

Jacqueline Lord ... Tiffany (archive footage) (uncredited)

Season 5, Episode 18: If My Hole Could Talk

12 May 2008
Charlie dates a self-help author who is much older than him, has a 32-year-old son, and treats him more like his son than his boyfriend. Jake tries to write a book report over the weekend, but keeps losing the book before he can read it.

Season 5, Episode 19: Waiting for the Right Snapper

19 May 2008
Alan has a crush on Charlie's new older girlfriend, and Charlie discovers that he dated his girlfriend's son's fiancée. Meanwhile, Alan tries to get Jake to study for his algebra exam.

Season 6


Season 6, Episode 1: Taterhead Is Our Love Child

22 September 2008
Charlie runs into an ex with a child who looks and acts a lot like him. He begins to suspect that he is the child's father.

Season 6, Episode 2: Pie Hole, Herb

29 September 2008
Charlie kicks Alan out the house again after Alan demands that Charlie pay him back the $38 he owes him. Alan and Jake are now forced to turn to Judith and Herb for a temporary home.

Season 6, Episode 3: Damn You, Eggs Benedict

6 October 2008
Alan tries to date two women at once and Charlie tries to learn how to cook. Jake tells Alan that he's studying with a friend, but he gets drunk instead.

Season 6, Episode 4: The Flavin' and the Mavin'

13 October 2008
Alan is angry when Charlie hooks up with his secretary because he knows that the situation will end badly for him after their inevitable breakup.

Season 6, Episode 5: A Jock Strap in Hell

20 October 2008
Charlie gets more than he bargained for when he tries to make amends to one of Jake's old teachers that he dated, who went off the deep end and became a stripper after he broke up with her.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Alicia Witt ... Dolores Pasternak
Brooklynne James ... Dancer (as Jana Ramsey)

Melinda Augustina ... Church Lady #5 (uncredited)

Alan Mueting ... Strip Club Patron (uncredited)
Michael Thomas Wallace ... Church Member #10 (uncredited)

Season 6, Episode 6: It's Always Nazi Week

3 November 2008
Alan is overjoyed when he learns that Judith and Herb's marriage is on the rocks, but he gets more than he bargained for when he tries to fake-comfort her. Meanwhile, Herb tries picking up women with Charlie's help.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Marin Hinkle ... Judith Melnick

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Ryan Stiles ... Dr. Herb Melnick

Sacheen Padilla ... Maureen

Jenn Liu ... Gwyneth

Shantel Wislawski ... Kim
Denise Loveday ... Mother (as Denise Loveday-Kane)

Austin Kane ... Toddler

Shane Roney ... Toddler #2 (uncredited)

Jeanne Simpson ... Mother #2 (uncredited)

Season 6, Episode 7: Best H.O. Money Can Buy

10 November 2008
Alan and Judith start seeing each other again after Judith's breakup with Herb, Herb continues to turn to Charlie for help picking up women, and Charlie messes with Jake by threatening to get him sent to military school.

Season 6, Episode 8: Pinocchio's Mouth

17 November 2008
Charlie's month-long relationship threatens to go down the tubes when she asks him to spend the night at her house instead, and Alan grounds Jake for mooning some girls on a school bus.

Season 6, Episode 9: The Mooch at the Boo

24 November 2008
Alan realizes what a babe magnet Charlie's car can be, while Charlie is left with the neighbor when his daughter disappears with Jake.

Season 6, Episode 10: He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited

8 December 2008
When Evelyn offers to pay for Jake's college education and a car, Charlie suspects that she has an angle to play.

Season 6, Episode 11: The Devil's Lube

15 December 2008
Charlie contemplates making some changes in his life after an old buddy and partner in crime drops dead on the balcony of his beach house.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Holland Taylor ... Evelyn Harper

Melanie Lynskey ... Rose

Emilio Estevez ... Andy

James Earl Jones ... James Earl Jones
Charlie Dell ... Minister

Tamara Knausz ... Woman #1

Cazzy Golomb ... Woman #2

Jaimarie Bjorge ... Charlie's Ex-Girlfriend (uncredited)

Jessica Hall ... Charlie's Ex-Girlfriend (uncredited)
Hyacinth Nier ... Woman #3 (uncredited)

Season 6, Episode 12: Thank God for Scoliosis

12 January 2009
Alan considers hooking up with his receptionist--until he meets her mother, and Charlie and Jake fight for the affection of a beautiful woman

Season 6, Episode 13: I Think You Offended Don

19 January 2009
Judith is pregnant, Alan believes he is the father, and Judith tries to keep him away from Herb. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to figure out why Jake is so irritable.

Season 6, Episode 14: David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie

2 February 2009
After his family acts mean-spirited during Alan's "surprise" birthday party, Alan decides he's had enough and moves in with his girlfriend and mom.

Season 6, Episode 15: I'd Like to Start with the Cat

9 February 2009
Charlie's big mouth and lack of attention to details gets him in couples counseling with his girlfriend.

Season 6, Episode 16: She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime

2 March 2009
Charlie needs Alan and Jake's help getting rid of the drunk, half-naked bimbo passed out in his bed when his girlfriend tells him she's coming home early from a funeral.

Season 6, Episode 17: The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?

9 March 2009
Charlie is so desperate to get Chelsea to return his accidental "I love you" and not lose control in the relationship that he is willing to propose to her just to make her say it.

Season 6, Episode 18: My Son's Enormous Head

16 March 2009
Charlie has trouble trying to take care of Chelsea when she gets sick.

Season 6, Episode 19: The Two Finger Rule

30 March 2009
Charlie, Alan and Herb commiserate with each other when their stupid decisions put them on the outs with their significant others.

Season 6, Episode 20: Hello, I am Alan Cousteau

13 April 2009
Charlie is disturbed when his mother meets Chelsea and starts spending time with her, but he has a plan for revenge.

Season 6, Episode 21: Above Exalted Cyclops

27 April 2009
Chelsea sets up Alan with her new "friend" Rose--the same Rose who stalked Charlie for years. But to Charlie's surprise, the two of them hit it off.

Season 6, Episode 22: Sir Lancelot's Litter Box

4 May 2009
Charlie winds up in more hot water with Chelsea because he doesn't want her moving in with her.

Season 6, Episode 23: Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth

11 May 2009
Charlie is angry when Alan and Chelsea become good friends, until he figures out how to use the situation to his advantage.

Season 6, Episode 24: Baseball Was Better with Steroids

18 May 2009
Chelsea is jealous when Charlie's ex fiancé, Mia, calls him--perhaps rightfully so. Meanwhile, Judith goes into labor, Herb is incapacitated, and Alan runs into his ex-girlfriend and receptionist at the hospital.

Season 7


Season 7, Episode 1: 818-jklpuzo

21 September 2009
Chelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancé Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.

Season 7, Episode 2: Whipped Unto the Third Generation

28 September 2009
When Charlie's fiancée, Chelsea, convinces him to let Melissa, Alan's girlfriend, move in, the girls take over the house.

Season 7, Episode 3: Mmm, Fish. Yum.

5 October 2009
Alan is forced to take care of Judith's baby when Judith's mom falls off the wagon, and Jake tries to blackmail Charlie when he runs over Chelsea's cat.

Season 7, Episode 4: Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator

12 October 2009
Alan takes a job with his mom so that he can move out and have alone time with Melissa, and Chelsea is upset about the way that Jake is treating her.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Jennifer Taylor ... Chelsea

Holland Taylor ... Evelyn Harper

Kelly Stables ... Melissa

Gerald Brodin ... Man

Caroline Bielskis ... Woman
Scott McShane ... Police Officer #1 (voice)
Peter A. Hulne ... Police Officer #2 (voice) (as Peter Hulne)

Robert Clotworthy ... TV Announcer (voice)

Season 7, Episode 5: For the Sake of the Child

19 October 2009
Jake refuses to stay with Charlie and Alan after they embarrass him in public, so Alan tries to convince Charlie to work together to settle their differences and stop fighting with each other.

Season 7, Episode 6: Give Me Your Thumb

2 November 2009
Alan suggests that Chelsea get breast reduction surgery and Charlie kicks him out.

Season 7, Episode 7: Untainted by Filth

9 November 2009
After Charlie and Chelsea set their wedding date, Charlie and Alan go out and get drunk and wake up in bed together with a strange woman.

Charlie Sheen ... Charlie Harper

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Jennifer Taylor ... Chelsea

Holland Taylor ... Evelyn Harper

Katy Mixon ... Betsy

Arthur Darbinyan ... Joe

Arturo Gil ... Ed

Joe Gieb ... Ted
Kevin Bickford ... Clown
Marc Mazur ... Strong Man

Jackie Zane ... Bearded Lady
Haitao Duan ... Chinese Acrobat #1
Di Guan ... Chinese Acrobat #2

Verne Troyer ... Circus Midget (uncredited)

Season 7, Episode 8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.

16 November 2009
Charlie invites Chelsea's sexy friend to stay at his place while she gets over a breakup, secretly hoping that he will get a chance to have kinky three-way sex.

Season 7, Episode 9: Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair

23 November 2009
Charlie is crushed when he discovers he hasn't been satisfying Chelsea and Alan attempts to cure his thinning hair on the cheap.

Season 7, Episode 10: That's Why They Call It 'Ball Room'

7 December 2009
Charlie discovers that Chelsea hasn't been completely honest about her finances.

Season 7, Episode 11: Warning, It's Dirty

14 December 2009
Against Alan's wishes, Charlie encourages Jake to hook up with a pretty girl he met on the beach since Jake's girlfriend is out of town for Christmas.

Season 7, Episode 12: Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste

11 January 2010
Jake writes love songs to woo his ex-girlfriend, and Herb and Alan hide their secret friendship from Judith's watchful eye.

Season 7, Episode 13: Yay, No Polyps

18 January 2010
Charlie endures a colonoscopy to get out of a trip to see Chelsea's bigoted parents, only to return home and find them in his living room.

Season 7, Episode 14: Crude and Uncalled For

1 February 2010
Alan ends up in jail after a bar fight, and Charlie worries that Chelsea might be interested in the lawyer who takes the case.

Season 7, Episode 15: Aye, Aye, Captain Douche

8 February 2010
When Charlie's jealousy threatens his relationship with Chelsea, he turns to Alan for help in becoming a better person. But will he be able to pull it off?

Season 7, Episode 16: Tinkle Like a Princess

1 March 2010
Charlie reacts to his breakup with Chelsea by taking the first tramp that he sees and marrying her in Las Vegas.

Season 7, Episode 17: I Found Your Moustache

8 March 2010
Charlie and Chelsea get back together for one night, which leaves Charlie mistakenly believing that they are back for good.

Season 7, Episode 18: Ixnay on the Oggie Day

22 March 2010
Charlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friends, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.

Season 7, Episode 19: Keith Moon Is Vomiting in his Grave

12 April 2010
Alan dates the mom of one of Jake's friends instead of telling her that her son and Jake went out drinking, but Charlie surprisingly does not approve of his actions.

Season 7, Episode 20: I Called Him Magoo

10 May 2010
Alan's plan for a romantic overnight getaway with his girlfriend hits an unexpected snag, while Charlie has an unusual request for his overnight companion.

Season 7, Episode 21: Gumby with a Pokey

17 May 2010
While Alan and Jake go to Sacramento to pick up a grandfather clock, Charlie gets a prescription for medical marijuana to help him sleep and forget about Chelsea.

Season 7, Episode 22: This Is Not Gonna End Well

24 May 2010
Jake becomes Charlie's driver after Charlie has his license suspended, and to Charlie's chagrin, Alan makes plans to attend Chelsea's birthday party.

Season 8


Season 8, Episode 1: Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

20 September 2010
Alan unsuccessfully tries to keep Jake from finding out that he's sleeping with his friend Eldridge's mom, while Charlie contemplates giving up drinking after an unusually wild night he can't remember.

Season 8, Episode 2: A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer

27 September 2010
When Lindsey asks Alan to move in with her, Charlie will do anything to get Alan to say "yes."

Season 8, Episode 3: A Pudding-Filled Cactus

4 October 2010
Alan moves in with Lyndsey but continues to have a rendezvous with Melissa at Charlie's house.

Season 8, Episode 4: Hookers, Hookers, Hookers

11 October 2010
Lyndsey and Eldridge move into Charlie's house after Alan burns down their home.

Season 8, Episode 5: The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel

18 October 2010
Alan Goes out on the town pretending to be Charlie, while Charlie sneaks off for some cosmetic surgery.

Season 8, Episode 6: Twanging Your Magic Clanger

25 October 2010
Charlie has second thoughts about the woman he's dating when he discovers she's 47, but his attitude suddenly changes when he discovers she has a sexy, bisexual, 20-year-old daughter.

Season 8, Episode 7: The Crazy Bitch Gazette

1 November 2010
Charlie's past comes back to bite him when his girlfriend decides that his stalker, Rose, is just too much to handle.

Season 8, Episode 8: Springtime on a Stick

8 November 2010
Jake gets Alan to invite Evelyn to Charlie's house for her birthday dinner to get revenge for Charlie ruining his chances with a classmate, and Alan and Charlie get Charlie's pharmacist to come along as Evelyn's date.

Season 8, Episode 9: A Good Time in Central Africa

15 November 2010
Charlie gets a replacement housekeeper who is perfect while Berta is out for the weekend, and Lyndsey's ex-husband begins scaring Alan when Alan and Lyndsey begin dating again.

Season 8, Episode 10: Ow, Ow, Don't Stop

22 November 2010
Charlie goes on a spending spree for his old fling, Courtney, who shows up after three years in prison for conning him out of money.

Season 8, Episode 11: Dead from the Waist Down

6 December 2010
Alan is ashamed that he can't afford to buy Lyndsey a birthday present, so he gets creative.

Season 8, Episode 12: Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead

13 December 2010
When Charlie and Courtney break up, Charlie falls into a depression and goes to see his psychiatrist.

Season 8, Episode 13: Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup

3 January 2011
When Charlie and Lyndsey start becoming friendly, Alan's paranoia gets the best of him.

Season 8, Episode 14: Lookin' for Japanese Subs

17 January 2011
Charlie continues to obsess over Rose--whom he thinks is married--after running into her at the store, and Jake and Eldrige begin recording their own "Jackass" rip-off.

Season 8, Episode 15: Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak

7 February 2011
Alan's efforts to ask family for money to help promote his struggling chiropractic business turns into a Ponzi scheme, and Charlie continues to see Rose, still completely unaware that her "husband" is actually a mannequin.

Season 8, Episode 16: That Darn Priest

14 February 2011
Rose becomes wise to Alan's Ponzi scheme and threatens to tell his family--until Alan discovers the truth about Rose's "husband."

Season 9


Season 9, Episode 1: Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

19 September 2011
After the death of Charlie Harper, Alan faces the reality of moving out of his brother's beach house - until he meets a depressed Internet billionaire whose wife just left him.

Season 9, Episode 2: People Who Love Peepholes

26 September 2011
Walden buys Charlie's house and hires Berta as his live-in housekeeper, forcing Alan to move back in with his mom. However, Alan sees an opportunity to come back when Walden asks for advice about getting his wife back.

Season 9, Episode 3: Big Girls Don't Throw Food

3 October 2011
While preparing for a romantic dinner with his wife, Walden accidentally talks Jake into dropping out of school.

Season 9, Episode 4: Nine Magic Fingers

10 October 2011
Alan begins working on getting Lyndsey back, but his days at Walden's place may be numbered after Walden hooks up with Charlie's gold-digger ex girlfriend, Courtney.

Season 9, Episode 5: A Giant Cat Holding a Churro

17 October 2011
Lyndsey dumps Alan after he agrees to be completely honest about his past, and a stoned Walden tries to cheer him up by throwing him a party.

Season 9, Episode 6: The Squat and the Hover

24 October 2011
Alan convinces Walden to see Charlie's old shrink after he gets his divorce papers from Bridget, but his spirits are soon lifted after he meets a lesbian who looks like her.

Season 9, Episode 7: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets

31 October 2011
Walden hires Evelyn as his interior decorator, but Alan is convinced that she just wants to take advantage of him sexually. Meanwhile, Alan inherits Charlie's journal, and Jake has a crush on his tutor, but she has a crush on Walden.

Season 9, Episode 8: Thank You for the Intercourse

7 November 2011
Still emotional after Charlie's death and jealous over Walden's ability to pick up hot single women, Alan takes a break from reality and channels his inner Charlie.

Season 9, Episode 9: Frodo's Headshots

14 November 2011
Upon his return from the "stress clinic," Alan finds out that Jake got his girlfriend pregnant, Walden and Lyndsey are sleeping together, and he has to move out immediately.

Season 9, Episode 10: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes

21 November 2011
After Jake talks Walden into asking out a woman he meets at a supermarket, Alan considers hocking Walden's incredibly expensive wedding ring to get out of debt.

Season 9, Episode 11: What a Lovely Landing Strip

5 December 2011
Just as Walden appears ready to pursue a new relationship with Zoe, Bridget returns and says that she wants him back.

Season 9, Episode 12: One False Move, Zimbabwe!

12 December 2011
Walden's mother arrives for Christmas and Alan is smitten with her, even as she reveals a secret about a "pet" from Walden's past that sends him into a downward spiral.

Season 9, Episode 13: Slowly and in a Circular Fashion

2 January 2012
When Bridget and Walden's mother try to take control of Walden's company, Walden puts Alan on the board. But can he be trusted once Walden's mother gets to him?

Season 9, Episode 14: A Possum on Chemo

16 January 2012
While Zoe pressures Walden into shaving and cutting his hair, Alan discovers that Lyndsey is dating a younger man.

Season 9, Episode 15: The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack

6 February 2012
Walden looks for ways to spice up his lackluster love life with Zoe, including a batch of Berta's "special" brownies.

Season 9, Episode 16: Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy

13 February 2012
Alan and Walden are stuck at home with their feuding girlfriends on Valentine's Day because of a torrential storm.

Season 9, Episode 17: Not in My Mouth!

20 February 2012
When Zoe doesn't return his "I love you," Walden retaliates by immediately picking up on another woman.

Season 9, Episode 18: The War Against Gingivitis

27 February 2012
Walden's estranged ex-business partner comes to him with a billion-dollar business idea, and another secret or two.

Season 9, Episode 19: Palmdale, Ech

19 March 2012
Alan and Lyndsey introduce their mothers to each other, while Walden spends the night hanging out with Jake and Eldrige since Zoe is still out of town.

Season 9, Episode 20: Grandma's Pie

9 April 2012
Zoe is upset when she finds out that Bridget is a business partner in Walden's latest venture, while Alan and Lyndsey have an awkward dinner with their moms, who are now lovers and are planning to move in together.

Season 9, Episode 21: Mr. Hose Says 'Yes'

16 April 2012
Walden's commitment is tested when Zoey and her daughter come to live with him. Meanwhile, Alan gets more than he bargained for when he moves in with Lyndsey.

Season 9, Episode 22: Why We Gave Up Women

30 April 2012
Charlie's spirit returns from Hell in the form of a middle aged woman to tell Alan to make some changes to his life after his heart attack.

Season 9, Episode 23: The Straw in My Donut Hole

7 May 2012
Alan decides to take advantage of the guilt felt by his family and Walden after his heart attack, but Zoe knows that he's just milking it and sets out to prove it.

Season 9, Episode 24: Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!

14 May 2012
Jake and Eldridge make an important decision about their future after they graduate from high school and get fired from their jobs at Walden's new company.

Season 10


Season 10, Episode 1: I Changed My Mind About the Milk

27 September 2012
Walden weighs his options after his elaborate marriage proposal featuring fireworks and Michael Bolton fails.

Season 10, Episode 2: A Big Bag of Dog

4 October 2012
While Alan becomes obsessed with off-brand teeth whitening, Walden begins to crack up over his breakup with Zoe.

Season 10, Episode 3: Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt

11 October 2012
Alan agrees to Lyndsey's idea of having a threesome with Walden, but Walden can't follow through because he's still in love with Zoey.

Season 10, Episode 4: You Do Know What the Lollipop Is For

18 October 2012
Walden is conflicted when a friend's hot daughter comes to visit, but the problem solves itself when Jake arrives for a surprise visit.

Season 10, Episode 5: That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam

25 October 2012
After a series of bad double date setups with Alan and Lyndsey, Walden meets a new woman--Charlie's ex, Rose.

Season 10, Episode 6: Ferrets, Attack!

1 November 2012
Just as Walden considers making a big move in his relationship with Rose, Zoey re-enters the picture and asks him to take her back.

Season 10, Episode 7: Avoid the Chinese Mustard

8 November 2012
Jake goes AWOL from the Army to spend another weekend with Missi, and Walden hires an actress to play the role of his girlfriend.

Season 10, Episode 8: Something My Gynecologist Said

15 November 2012
Alan loses Lyndsey over his refusal to make a long-term commitment, while Walden becomes a "boy toy" for a rich older woman who has no idea that he's a billionaire.

Season 10, Episode 9: I Scream When I Pee

29 November 2012
Alan's second ex-wife, Kandi, could spoil Alan's new long-term relationship with Lyndsey. Meanwhile, Walden tries to celebrate Berta's birthday.

Season 10, Episode 10: One Nut Johnson

6 December 2012
Walden creates an "Everyman" persona and finds a woman who isn't interested in him because of his money.

Season 10, Episode 11: Give Santa a Tail-Hole

13 December 2012
While Walden takes a job as a Christmas tree salesman as part of his ruse, he gets a billion dollar business proposal from Mark Zuckerberg. Meanwhile, Alan finds himself completely alone at the beach house for the holidays.

Season 10, Episode 12: Welcome to Alancrest

3 January 2013
While Walden's health and other bedroom issues begin to suffer as a result of living a lie, he gives Alan 100,000 dollars to "invest" in Kate's fashion line.

Season 10, Episode 13: Grab a Feather and Get in Line

10 January 2013
Walden and Alan fly to New York City so that Walden can finally reveal his true identity to Kate.

Ashton Kutcher ... Walden Schmidt

Jon Cryer ... Alan Harper

Angus T. Jones ... Jake Harper

Conchata Ferrell ... Berta

Courtney Thorne-Smith ... Lyndsey Mackelroy

Brooke D'Orsay ... Kate

Sofia Mattsson ... Inga

Madison Riley ... Britte

Jared Murillo ... Waiter

Karen Elmore ... Dancer (uncredited)
Johnny Ferrara ... Mobster Guy (uncredited)

Bunny Gibson ... Bag Lady Principal Featured Dancer (uncredited)

Lonnie Henderson ... Dancer (uncredited)
Clinton Huff ... New York Dancer (uncredited)

Todd Christian Hunter ... Dancer (uncredited)

Ryan E. Kelly ... Doo Wop Man (uncredited)

Misty Miller ... Dancer (uncredited)

Aryanne Padilha ... Model (uncredited)

Season 10, Episode 14: Run, Steven Staven! Run!

31 January 2013
Alan, Walden, Billy, and Herb spend the night out together commiserating over their exes after Lyndsey dumps Alan one more time.

Season 10, Episode 15: Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It

7 February 2013
Alan is alarmed when discovers that Jake's new girlfriend is almost twice his age, has three children, and owns a tattoo parlor.

Season 10, Episode 16: Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby

14 February 2013
Walden is delighted when Kate flies to LA and asks an appointment on Valentine's Day. Alas, she only wants friendship, still prefers 'Sam' and now has just a busy calendar as Walden, so no next date can be booked. For once, Alan decides to 'spoil' Lyndsey on Valentine's Day by booking a hotel suite he can't really afford. But pubic grooming on himself goes so bad she has to drive him to hospital instead. Rose is unsuspecting Kate's new business partner, who lures her to China.

Season 10, Episode 17: Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries

21 February 2013
Walden goes to a mixer to find a woman but runs into his ex-wife Bridget instead.

Season 10, Episode 18: The 9:04 from Pemberton

7 March 2013
After Alan and Walden fight over a toaster, Alan moves out and goes back to his old house to live with Herb.