Queen Clarisse Renaldi: The Queen is never late, everybody else is simply early.
Mia Thermopolis: [while watching a list of possible husbands, a picture of Prince William appears] Yes! Oh yes! I, I, I absolutely accept!
Charlotte Kutaway: Prince William. He's not eligible because he's in line for his own crown.
Mia Thermopolis: [Disappointed] Oh.
Joe: If he's not eligible, why is he included in these pictures?
Charlotte Kutaway: I just love to look at him.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Me too.
Mia Thermopolis: Mmm-hmm.
Joe: Your Majesty!
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Next?
Charlotte Kutaway: Antoine Suisson of Paris. Plays the harp. No title, but good family.
Lilly Moscovitz: What about the title "husband?"
Mia Thermopolis: Yeah, he's cute.
Joe: His boyfriend thinks he's handsome, also.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: No matter. Put him on all the invitation lists, he's a divine dancer.
Nicholas Devereaux: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, with hair so fine. Come out your window, climb down the vine.
Mia Thermopolis: The feat you ask, dear sir, isn't easy. And I won't respond to that line, it's far too cheesy.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: [Clarisse comes into the kitchen and sits down, after Mia stomped on Nicholas's foot, after learning that he was the one who wanted to steal her throne. Mia is eating ice cream] As a queen I simply cannot condone it. But as a grandma, I say, "Right on."
Joe: Viscount, you may not be aware of what my job entails as the Royal Head of Security. My job is to protect the crown. To make sure no harm comes to the crown. To step in when someone toys with the crown's emotions.
Viscount Mabrey: I think the entire country understands how well you cater for the crown's emotions.
Joe: [pause] If you hurt my girl, you will answer directly to me, and whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries, including Puerto Rico.
Viscount Mabrey: Sir, you will find that the word "fear" is not in my vocabulary!
Joe: Perhaps... but it's in your eyes.
Mia Thermopolis: I loathe you!
Nicholas Devereaux: I loathe YOU!
Mia Thermopolis: I loathed you FIRST!
Nicholas Devereaux: [kisses Mia]
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: We never rush, we hasten.
[proceeds to rush out of the room]
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Dear Joseph, am I too late to ask you to accept my hand in marriage?
Joe: I thought you'd never ask.
Security Guard Shades: The Sparrow is taking off.
Charlotte Kutaway: The Eagle is flying for the last time.
[Paolo has done Mia's hair in a very bizarre style]
Mia Thermopolis: I look like a moose.
Paolo: But a very cute moose. Make all the boy moose go 'WHAAAAA.'
Captain Kip Kelly: [Yelling in Military fashion at the parade] Identify, Mustang personnel!
Lilly Moscovitz: Why do you talk like that?
Captain Kip Kelly: [Still yelling] I'm... Captain Kip Kelly of the Royal Guard!
Lilly Moscovitz: What if we all talked like that?
Lilly Moscovitz: Lilly Moscovitz, best friend of Princess Mia, *riding* in the 'Stang!
Nicholas Devereaux: I'm Nick. Viscount Mabrey's nephew.
Andrew Jacoby: Ah, the chap who's trying to stage the palace coup. I'm Andrew Jacoby. Nice to meet you.
Lilly Moscovitz: [Thrusting out her hand to shake his] Lilly Moscovitz, official best friend of future queen. I don't like you.
Nicholas Devereaux: Pleasure.
Joe: [to Mia] Love does things for reasons that reason cannot understand.
Mia Thermopolis: I thought you said you never slide?
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Oh I don't, but I have done a lot of flying in my day.
Mia Thermopolis: Welcome. A few moments ago, I realized the only reason I was getting married was because of a law, and that didn't seem like a good enough reason. So, I won't be getting married today. My grandmother has ruled without a man at her side for quite some time, and... I think she rocks at it. So, as the granddaughter of Queen Clarisse and King Rupert...
Congregation: [interrupting] King Rupert, may he rest in peace!
Mia Thermopolis: I ask the members of Parliament to think about your daughters, your nieces, and sisters, and granddaughters, and ask yourselves: would you force them to do what you're trying to make me do? I believe I will be a great queen. I understand Genovia to be a land that combines the beauty of the past with all the best hope of the future. I feel in my heart and soul that I can rule Genovia. I... I love Genovia. Do you think that I would be up here in a wedding dress if I didn't? I stand here ready to take my place as your queen. Without a husband.
Nicholas Devereaux: [kneels before Mia] If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness.
Mia Thermopolis: [motions for him to go ahead] What is your dilemma, young man?
Nicholas Devereaux: You are, in fact. I am in love with the Queen-to-be, and I am inquiring if she loves me, too.
Mia Thermopolis: Do you have a chicken for my table?
Nicholas Devereaux: No. No, my kitchen is out of chickens.
Lady's Maid Brigitte: Princess Mia, a strange woman came in here and asked to hide in your closet so I let her.
Mia Thermopolis: Well, dear, that probably wasn't the best idea.
Security Guard Lionel: Your Majesty, I would gladly take a bullet for you.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Oh, how brave. Most interns don't even want to fetch me my tea.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: [teaching Mia the art of the fan; Mia is making faces behind her fan] Are you sassing your grandma?
Mia Thermopolis: I would never sass you, Grandma!
[Clarisse proceeds to swat Mia playfully with her fan]
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: A princess never chases a chicken.
Lilly Moscovitz: [singing to herself while watching Mia and Andrew play badminton] They're smitten, while playing badminton. Where's my kitten?
Mia Thermopolis: Oh my God, you're here!
Lilly Moscovitz: I know!
Mia Thermopolis: In Genovia!
Lilly Moscovitz: I know!
Mia Thermopolis: You're in my closet!
Lilly Moscovitz: Yeah.
Mia Thermopolis: You're blonde!
Lilly Moscovitz: I'm blonde!
Mia Thermopolis: Just because I didn't get my fairytale ending doesn't mean you shouldn't.
Nicholas Devereaux: [after Mia angrily stomps on his foot] It's alright, she always does that.
Andrew Jacoby: She's going to be a handful, isn't she?
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: You'll never be bored, Andrew.
Nicholas Devereaux: Tell me your greatest desires.
Mia Thermopolis: Tell me a secret.
Nicholas Devereaux: Isn't that the same thing?
Mia Thermopolis: Almost, but anyone can see your desires. No one knows what's in your heart.
Mia Thermopolis: Oh, by the way, I'm getting married!
Lilly Moscovitz: To who?
Mia Thermopolis: I don't know.
Mia Thermopolis: [stepping on Nicholas's foot the first time] Oh! Your foot, I'm so sorry, are you all right?
Nicholas Devereaux: Oh I'll survive, Your Highness, the fault was entirely my own.
Mia Thermopolis: Are you sure you don't want to exchange licenses and proof of insurances?
Nicholas Devereaux: No, no. These shoes were a little big anyway. The swelling should help them fit better.
Nicholas Devereaux: I haven't danced with you since your birthday.
Mia Thermopolis: That's a fact, not a secret.
Nicholas Devereaux: The secret is, I still want to.
Security Guard Shades: Mmm...
Joe: You are now Head of Security. Good luck with Lionel. I've got a wedding to go to.
[Nicholas is lingering a few feet away. Mia notices him]
Mia Thermopolis: Look over there.
Lilly Moscovitz: Should I shoo him? Should I shoo him? Just tell me who I should shoo and I'll shoo.
Mia Thermopolis: I'm here!
[sits down and chair goes flying; Brigitte and Brigitta rush to help]
Mia Thermopolis: You know what, I'm fine, I'm good! So, what are we learning today?
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: We are learning the art of the fan.
Mia Thermopolis: Fascinating.
Lilly Moscovitz: [smiling] I'm a girl who loves black and is wearing pink.
Security Guard Lionel: [into his mike] Eagle is leaving! Eagle is leaving!
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: [stops] In hushed tones, Lionel. Hushed tones.
Mia Thermopolis: To be a princess, you have to believe that you are a princess. You've got to walk the way you think a princess would walk. So, you gotta think tall you gotta smile and wave, and just have fun.
Security Guard Lionel: Princess Mia! Princess Mia!
Mia Thermopolis: [Reluctantly] Yes?
Security Guard Lionel: Nothing, I'm just supposed to watch you.
Mia Thermopolis: [climbing down the vine] This really is more romantic in books.
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: I know it's short notice, but you were all dressed.
[Mia leaps onto the bed]
Lady's Maid Brigitte: We just made the bed.
Mia Thermopolis: This is so cool!
Joe: I would kneel if it weren't for my knee replacement.
Security Guard Lionel: [security guard shades circles around once] Can I do that?
Security Guard Lionel: Ever take those shades off?
Lady Blake: Mia. Did you happen to see who's here?
Mia Thermopolis: Who?
Lady Blake: The king wannabe with Lady Elissa.
Mia Thermopolis: Oh. Is she his... girlfriend?
Lord Jerome: Nicholas doesn't have girlfriends, he has dates... but attractive ones.
Lady Blake: You talk to him much?
Mia Thermopolis: Uh... we acknowledge each other.
[makes a face, Lady Blake laughs]
Mia Thermopolis: [Regaining composure, Mia calls over her shoulder] Andrew?
Andrew Jacoby: Yes, dear. Coming.
Andrew Jacoby: Well, the camera's all ready to go, so...
Mia Thermopolis: Great. Let's go this way.
Mia Thermopolis: Oh, well aren't you just... crafty. Do you want to know what else you were doing while you were doing your little lie dance?
Nicholas Devereaux: Lie dance?
Mia Thermopolis: Oh, yeah, that is exactly what you did.
Nicholas Devereaux: What is a lie dance?
Queen Clarisse Renaldi: Nepotism belongs in the arts, not in plumbing.
Mia Thermopolis: No more straggling for me.
Andrew Jacoby: You did very well, Mia. Very charming.
Mia Thermopolis: Oh, thank you.
Andrew Jacoby: Wait, wait, wait. The light is perfect.
[takes out his camera]
Mia Thermopolis: What?
Andrew Jacoby: Just one more, please.
Mia Thermopolis: [laughing] Please, no more pictures.
Andrew Jacoby: Come on, please. One more.
Mia Thermopolis: It's very flattering, but...
Andrew Jacoby: Mia, one more picture.
Mia Thermopolis: [laughing] I'm feeling shy, come on.
[see's Nicholas and Elissa]
Mia Thermopolis: Ah.
[turns Andrew to face Nicholas and Elissa]
Andrew Jacoby: Mia, you chose me, and I accepted. Now were gonna stand up in church and say "I do," and tomorrow we'll be man and wife. And you will make an amazing queen of Genovia.
[Mia kisses Andrew on the cheek]
Mia Thermopolis: Thank you.