Are We There Yet? (2005)
Nick Persons: [on a horse next to a moving train] I'm gonna have to hop on!
Kevin Kingston: I don't think that's a good idea!
Nick Persons: Says who?
Kevin Kingston: Says the guy who put all that junk on the road!
Nick Persons: Oh snap!
Kevin Kingston: [from trailer]
[in the car]
Kevin Kingston: I have to go to the bathroom.
Lindsey Kingston: I'm sure the carpet's absorbent.
Lindsey Kingston: [about 50 cent] I'll give him a dollar to shut up.
Nick Persons: Come on, you're driving like a old lady.
Ernst: No, no, you watch. Ernst knows how to drive.
Nick Persons: Oh Damn! Boy Didn't you hear what I just said?
Lindsey Kingston: Ooh, you just swore.
Nick Persons: Your damn right I swore, that's about $400 dollars worth of damage to my new car!
Lindsey Kingston: That's twice! Now you have to put two dollars in the swear jar.
Kevin Kingston: Do you have any Justin Timberlake or Clay Aiken?
Nick Persons: [looks up at the sky] Lord, these kids are ethnically challenged. You know you could get shot by playing those CDs in my old neighborhood.
Kevin Kingston: We're not ghetto!
[Nick's car is burning up]
Nick Persons: Oh man! I never even got to read the manual!
Amish Man: [sees Nick making a big fuss over his SUV being wrecked]
[to fishing partner]
Amish Man: This is why we never come to the city.
Nick Persons: [wanting new tires] Look, I'll pay you extra. See? Yao Ming! Rookie card.
Car Mechanic: Oh, I see. You think because I am Chinese that you can get me to do anythi - OOOO! Hologram!
Nick Persons: Kiss my 330 cubic inches of V8 power, sucker!
Satchel Paige: I love a happy ending! Hahaha!
Lindsey Kingston: [talking about Keven] He played lady pac-man and had nightmares for a week.
[a pair of young shoplifters enter the store, one of them walks up to the counter where Nick awaits]
Shoplifter: Hey, Mister, you got any 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'?
Nick Persons: What you think?
Shoplifter: You got any Dragonball GT?
Nick Persons: [furiously] Look. You come in here every day, askin' the same questions. We ain't got no Pokemon, no Digimon, no Buffy, no SpongeBob, no Beanie Babies...
[sees the other shoplifter trying to take a rare baseball card]
Nick Persons: And no shoplifters!
[he chucks a football at the shoplifter, who drops the card, then leaves with his partner]
Nick Persons: Now, get! BOTH OF Y'ALL! GET!'!'!
Lindsey Kingston: [interrupting Nick and Suzanne talking about going out on the porch] What is going on out here?
Kevin Kingston: Mom, where have you been? Miss Mable burnt out dinner, fell asleep, and she just keeps farting!