Mutt Williams: You know, for an old man you ain't bad in a fight.
Indiana Jones: Thanks.
Mutt Williams: What are you, like, 80?
Mutt Williams: One of the scorpions just stung me! Am I gonna die?
Indiana Jones: How big?
Mutt Williams: Huge!
Indiana Jones: Good.
Mutt Williams: Good?
Indiana Jones: When it comes to scorpions, the bigger the better. Small one bites you, don't keep it to yourself.
Mutt Williams: [as Indy sinks in a quicksand-esque substance, he is passed a long snake] Grab on. It's a rat snake!
Indiana Jones: Rat snakes aren't that big.
Mutt Williams: Well, this one is, all right? It's not even poisonous. Now grab on!
Indiana Jones: Go get something else.
Mutt Williams: Like what?
Indiana Jones: Like a rope or something.
Mutt Williams: There's no Sears and Roebuck here! Grab the snake!
Indiana Jones: Maybe I can touch the bottom.
Marion Ravenwood: There's no bottom. Now grab it.
Indiana Jones: I think I can feel it with my feet
Mutt Williams: Grab the snake!
Indiana Jones: Stop calling it that!
Mutt Williams: It's a snake! What do you want me to call it?
Indiana Jones: Say "rope."
Mutt Williams: What?
Indiana Jones: Say "Grab the rope"!
Mutt Williams: [Looking at Indy and Marion] No! No, he was Britsh! My dad was an RAF Pilot; he was a war hero; not some school teacher!
Marion Ravenwood: No, sweetheart! Collin was your step father. We started dating 3 months after you were born! He was a good man!
Indiana Jones: Wait... wait... wait a minute! Collin? As in Collin Williams? Ha! You, you married him? I introduced you!
Marion Ravenwood: I think you gave up your vote on who I married, when you decided to break it off a week before the wedding!
Indiana Jones: You and I both knew Marion, that it wasn't gonna work out!
Marion Ravenwood: Then why didn't you ever talk to me about it?
Indiana Jones: Because, we never had an argument I won!
Dovchenko: Oh, for the love of God! Shut the hell up!
Marion Ravenwood: Didn't you ever wonder why Ox stopped writing, he hated that you walked out on me!
Mutt Williams: Would you two just stop!
Indiana Jones: Yeah, Marion! Let's not let the kid see mom and dad fight!
Mutt Williams: You're not my dad, alright!
Indiana Jones: You bet I am; and I've got news for you; you're gonna go back and finish school!
Mutt Williams: Oh really! What happend to there's not a damn thing wrong, with you kid, don't let anybody ealse tell you any different! You don't remember saying that!
Indiana Jones: That was before I was your father!
Mutt Williams: You're not my father!
Marion Ravenwood: [Dovchenko gets up] Oh yes, he is your father!
Indiana Jones: You should've told me about the kid, Marion; I had a right to know!
Marion Ravenwood: [Dovchenko gags Marions mouth] You vanished, after that!
Indiana Jones: I wrote!
Marion Ravenwood: A year later! By then, Mutt was born, and I was married!
Indiana Jones: Why in the bother did you tell me now?
Marion Ravenwood: Because I thought we were gonna die!
Indiana Jones: Not yet!
[Indy and Mutt start kicking Dovchenko until he falls over]
Mutt Williams: [Mutt empties knife out of shoe, and throws it to Indy, and it lands on Indy's shoulder, and drops to Indy's hand] Got it?
[Mutt hears rip]
Mutt Williams: Oh shit!
[Indy cuts himself loose, then Mutt]
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Belief, Dr. Jones, is a gift you have yet to receive. My sympathies.
Indiana Jones: Oh, I believe, sister. That's why I'm down here.
Mac: You broke my nose!
Indiana Jones: I told you.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Enough! You will speak to Oxley and lead us to Akator, yes?
Indiana Jones: Nyet.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Take him outside.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: This warehouse is where you and your government have hidden all of your secrets, yes?
Indiana Jones: This is a military warehouse. I've never been here before in my life.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Don't toy with me, Dr. Jones. What is the point of all this?
Indiana Jones: If it's still magnetic, the metal in this gun powder should point the way.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [Irina has Marion and Indiana hostage] So, Dr. Jones, you will help us?
[a soldier cocks a pistol and points it at Marion's back]
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: A simple "yes" will do.
Indiana Jones: Oh, Marion, you had to go and get yourself kidnapped.
Marion Ravenwood: Not like you did any better.
Indiana Jones: Same old, same old.
Indiana Jones: So what are you, a triple agent?
Mac: Nah, I just lied about being a double.
Indiana Jones: [stuck in quicksand] Oxley, don't just sit there. For God's sake, man. Go get help!
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Help?
Indiana Jones: Help!
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Help?
[runs into the trees searching for help]
Indiana Jones: [later on, they're surrounded by Russian soldiers after getting pulled out of the quicksand by Mutt] Good work, Ox. Thanks.
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: [points at the Russians] Help.
Indiana Jones: Be careful, you may get exactly what you wish for.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: I usually do.
Indiana Jones: Leave it to Ox to write a riddle in a dead language.
Indiana Jones: [crashes into a truck windshield after a failed swing from his whip] Damn, I thought that was closer...
Mac: Don't get clever, Boris. You don't know him.
[Russian speeds up car]
Mac: Know him. Know him. You don't know him! You don't know him!
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: How much of human life is lost in waiting?
Indiana Jones: We were younger.
Mac: I still am young!
Indiana Jones: We had guns. Put your hands down, will you? You're embarrassing us.
Mac: Bet you 500 bucks we get out of this.
[Dovchenko arrives and faces Indy]
Mac: Let's call it 100.
Indiana Jones: How did Deidra take the news?
Dean Charles Stanforth: How does any wife take such things? The look on her face is a combination of pride and panic.
Dean Charles Stanforth: I barely recognize this country anymore. The government's got us seeing Communists in our soup.
Indiana Jones: Brutal couple of years, huh, Charlie? First Dad, then Marcus.
Dean Charles Stanforth: We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away.
Indiana Jones: Where'd they go? Space?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Not into space. Into the space between spaces.
Indiana Jones: [watching Mutt jump around, trying to get scorpions off of himself] Dance on your own time, will you?
Marion Ravenwood: What the hell is that?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: A portal! A pathway to another dimension!
Indiana Jones: I don't think we want to go that way.
Indiana Jones: You're not from around here, are you?
Agent Irina Spalko: [taking off her glasses] Where is it you would imagine I am from, Dr. Jones?
Indiana Jones: Well, the way you're sinking your teeth into those wubble-u's, I should think maybe Eastern Ukraine.
Indiana Jones: Oh, that can't be good.
Speaker Voice: All personnel, it is now one minute to zero time. Put on goggles or turn away. Do not remove goggles or face burst until ten seconds after first light.
Indiana Jones: That can't be good at all.
Marion Ravenwood: You still living a trail of human wreckage, or have you retired?
Indiana Jones: Why? You looking for a date?
Marion Ravenwood: With anyone but you.
General Ross: Indy, thank God. Don't you know it's dangerous to climb into a refrigerator? Those things can be deathtraps!
Indiana Jones: [shakes General Ross' hand] Good to see you too, Bob.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Imagine. To peer across the world and know the enemy's secrets. To place our thoughts into the minds of your leaders. Make your teachers teach the true version of history, your soldiers attack on our command. We'll be everywhere at once, more powerful than a whisper, invading your dreams, thinking your thoughts for you while you sleep. We will change you, Dr. Jones, all of you, from the inside. We will turn you into us. And the best part? You won't even know it's happening.
Mutt Williams: [Landing in duck boat after retrieving skull from Irina, looks at Indy] Whoa.
Indiana Jones: [Smiles back at mutt] Whoa.
Indiana Jones: WHOA!
Dovchenko: You can get us into that building, yes?
Indiana Jones: Drop dead.
[Dovchenko slaps Indy across his face]
Indiana Jones: I'm sorry. I meant drop dead, comrade.
Indiana Jones: Compass! I need a compass! You know, north, south, east...
Indiana Jones: No compass?
Indiana Jones: [to Dovchenko] I need your bullets!
Dovchenko: [to Russians] HaHa! On zhelayet moih patrone!
Indiana Jones: [to Spalko] The contents of that box are highly magnitized. I need gun powder. You want my help or not?
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Najdite!
Dovchenko: Prinesite mashinu bystra!
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [Upon seeing alien body in box] Flying Saucer!
Indiana Jones: [Studying Oxley's drawings] "The water sleeps until the great snake." These aren't just drawings, they're directions. Get me a map!
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Karta!
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: No defiant last words, Dr. Jones?
Indiana Jones: I like Ike.
Dovchenko: Put down gun.
Indiana Jones: You got it, pal.
[Drops gun, and gun fires off]
Indiana Jones: What exactly am I being accused of other than surviving a nuclear explosion?
Mac: You're lucky I turned up, Jonesey. Dovchenko there wanted to blow your brains out. That's the third time I saved your life.
Indiana Jones: Unshackle me. I'll give you a big hug.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: How fortunate our failure to kill you, Dr. Jones. You survive to be of service to us once again.
Indiana Jones: Well, you know me, always glad to help.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Where was he found?
Dovchenko: In Mexico. They were digging in the dirt, looking for this stuff.
[Dovchenko drops pottery then Spalko kicks it]
M.P. Sergeant: Sorry, gentlemen. This whole area is closed for weapons testing for the next 24 hours. That includes all on-base personnel.
[Dovchenko walks out]
M.P. Sergeant: Good afternoon, sir.
[Soldiers salute Dovchenko - Dovchenko salutes them]
M.P. Sergeant: I'm afraid that goes for you too, Colonel sir. The Pentagon has sent out revised...
[Russians shoot them]
M.P. Sergeant: [Dovchenko ties his shoe]
Marion Ravenwood: Get your hands off me, you rotten Russky son of a bitch!
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [to Mutt] You fight like a young man, eager to begin, quick to finish.
Mutt Williams: I don't understand. Why the legend about the city of gold?
Indiana Jones: The Ugha word for gold translates as "treasure." But their treasure wasn't gold. It was knowledge. Knowledge was their treasure.
Indiana Jones: Marion, take the wheel.
Mutt Williams: That's not fair. She drove the truck.
Indiana Jones: Don't be a child. Find something to fight with.
Indiana Jones: You want to be a good archaeologist...
[Mutt drives them out of the building on his motorcycle]
Indiana Jones: ... you've got to get out of the library!
Marion Ravenwood: Mutt can be a little impetuous.
Indiana Jones: Well, it's not the worse quality in the world.
[Indy and Marion sink further into the ground]
Indiana Jones: Keep your arms above the surface. When the kid comes back, grab on.
Marion Ravenwood: Indy, he...
Indiana Jones: He's a good kid, Marion. You should get off his back about school.
Marion Ravenwood: Mutt, I mean...
Indiana Jones: Not everybody is cut out for it.
Marion Ravenwood: His name is Henry!
Indiana Jones: Henry. Good name.
Marion Ravenwood: He's your son.
Indiana Jones: My son?
Marion Ravenwood: Henry Jones the III.
Indiana Jones: [beat] Why the hell didn't you make him finish school?
Mutt Williams: Name's Mutt, Mutt Williams.
Indiana Jones: Mutt?
Mutt Williams: Yeah.
Indiana Jones: What kind of name is that?
Mutt Williams: It's the one I picked. You got a problem with it?
Indiana Jones: Take it easy.
Mutt Williams: [to Indy] What are you looking at, Daddy-o?
[points to Irina]
Mutt Williams: She's getting away!
Indiana Jones: [Mutt pops open his switchblade, ready to fight two KGB agents] Nice try kid, but it looks like you brought a knife...
[both agents pull out guns]
Indiana Jones: ... to a gun fight.
Indiana Jones: Nazca Indians used to bind their infants' head with rope to elongate the skull like that.
Mutt Williams: Why?
Indiana Jones: Honor the gods.
Mutt Williams: No, no. God's head is not like that, man.
Indiana Jones: Depends on who your god is.
Indiana Jones: What's your mom's name again?
Mutt Williams: Mary. Mary Williams. You remember her?
Indiana Jones: There've been a lot of Marys, kid.
Mutt Williams: [jolts up from chair] Shut up! That's my mother you're talking about! All right? That's my mother.
Indiana Jones: You don't have to get sore all the time just to prove how tough you are.
Mutt Williams: What's he gonna do now?
Marion Ravenwood: I don't think he plans that far ahead.
Mutt Williams: Yeah.
Indiana Jones: [pops out from the inside of the truck with a bazooka] Scooch over, will you, Son?
Mutt Williams: Don't call me "son." Don't.
Indiana Jones: [ignoring Mutt's complaint] I think I'd cover my ears if I were you.
[Indy fires a rocket at a giant tree cutter, but it sends the large circular blade bouncing straight for them, cutting through other trucks as it goes]
Indiana Jones: Duck! Duck!
Indiana Jones: Why don't you stick around, Junior?
Mutt Williams: [chuckles] I don't know. Why didn't you, Dad?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Dad!
[gives Indy a questioning look]
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Dad?
Indiana Jones: Somewhere your grandpa is laughing.
Mutt Williams: You're a teacher?
Indiana Jones: Part-time.
Mutt Williams: Professor, this really is a dead end. Look.
Indiana Jones: [after climbing on the rock and noticing that it shifts with force, tilting it first away, and then back to Mutt, with a grin] Come on, genius.
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Well done, Henry!
Indiana Jones: [Mutt's knife and some gold coins adhere to the Skull] Crystal's not magnetic.
Mutt Williams: Neither is gold.
Mutt Williams: What are they? Spacemen?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: [completely sanely] Interdimensional beings, in point of fact.
Indiana Jones: [dryly] Welcome back, Ox.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: Clearly I have chosen the wrong pressure point. Perhaps I can find a more sensitive one.
Col. Dr. Irina Spalko: [to Russian soldiers] Prinesite yom!
Marion Ravenwood: [Struggling] Get your hands off me, you rotten Russki son of a bitch!
Marion Ravenwood: Indiana Jones.
Marion Ravenwood: [Indy shrugs and laughs] About time you showed up.
Mutt Williams: Mom!
Marion Ravenwood: Sweetheart.
[Runs over to Mutt and hug him]
Indiana Jones: "Mom"?
Mutt Williams: Mom!
Indiana Jones: Honey!
Mac: Slow down!
Indiana Jones: Honey! Stop, we're gonna go the cliff!
Marion Ravenwood: That's the idea!
Indiana Jones: Bad idea; give me the wheel!
Marion Ravenwood: Trust me!
[Steps on gas]
Marion Ravenwood: [Mutt screems]
[Car lands in tree, and Marion smiles and steps on gas, drives down into the river, and tree flys up and hits Russian soldiers, and some of them fall]
Indiana Jones: Don't ever do that again!
Marion Ravenwood: Yes, dear!
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Three times it drops! The way down...
Indiana Jones: Reverse! Put it in reverse! Reverse! Reverse!
[Go off water]
Indiana Jones: [Everyone screems]
Indiana Jones: [Coughing] Three times it drops?
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Three times it drops!
Mutt Williams: He means by land?
Marion Ravenwood: Oh, what does he mean?
Indiana Jones: He means one... two...
[Go off another waterfall]
Indiana Jones: [Coughing] ... Three!
[Takes off hat]
Indiana Jones: [Go off biggest waterfall]
Indiana Jones: [Marion still holding wheel with no truck!] Marion! Marion!
[Pulls wheel out of her hands]
Professor 'Ox' Oxley: Through eyes at last I saw in tears...
Mutt Williams: ...the golden vision reapears! Through eyes... through eyes in tears! We gotta go through that waterfall!
Indiana Jones: The skull has to be returned! I'll do it! No one else has to come!
Mutt Williams: Who cares! It's brought us nothing but trouble!
[Pointing at Ox]
Mutt Williams: Look what it did to him!
Indiana Jones: I have to return it!
Marion Ravenwood: Why you?
Indiana Jones: Because it told me to!
Mutt Williams: [in a graveyard]
[reading a sign]
Mutt Williams: "Grave robbers will be shot."
Indiana Jones: Good thing we're not grave robbers.
Mutt Williams: I took Spanish. I didn't understand a word of that. What was it?
Indiana Jones: Quechua, local Incan dialect.
Mutt Williams: Where'd you learn that one?
Indiana Jones: Long story.
Mutt Williams: I got time.
Indiana Jones: I rode with Pancho Villa. A couple of his guys spoke it.
Mutt Williams: Bullshit!
Indiana Jones: You asked.
Mutt Williams: [Irinka Spalko holds sword up to Mutt's neck] Whoa! Whoa, whoa.Wait, wait, wait. Stop, stop, stop.
[grabs comb out of pocket and combs hair]
Mutt Williams: I'm ready.
Mutt Williams: Don't give these pigs a thing.
Marion Ravenwood: [Indy cuts Marion loose, and removes gag] I'm sure I wasn't the only person to go on with my life. There must have been plenty of women for you over the years.
Indiana Jones: Yeah. There were a few, but they all had the same problem.
Marion Ravenwood: Yeah? What's that?
Indiana Jones: [Indy cuts through roof] They weren't you, honey.
[Throws Mutt knife, and climbs out of truck. Marion smiles a big smile]
Indiana Jones: [Mutt smiles and laughs]
[Mutt and Marion get thrown around truck!]
Indiana Jones: [Indy throws Russian out of truck, and big action scene starts]
Indiana Jones: Marion!
Marion Ravenwood: Well, it's about time you showed up, Jones.
Mutt Williams: Mom!
Marion Ravenwood: [looks at Mutt] Sweetheart! What in the world are you doing here?
Indiana Jones: [looks at them] Mom?
Mutt Williams: [ignores Indy] Ah, don't worry about me. Are you alright?
Indiana Jones: Marion is your...
Marion Ravenwood: [Indy is still ignored] Young man, I specifically told you...
Indiana Jones: ...your mother?
Marion Ravenwood: [still ignores Indy] ... not to come down here.
Indiana Jones: Marion Ravenwood is your mother?
Marion Ravenwood: [ignores him once more] I should've known Jones would drag you into this.
Indiana Jones: Marion Ravenwood is your mother?
Marion Ravenwood: [stops ignoring him] For cryin' out loud, Jones, is it so hard to figure out?