Dracula 3000 (TV 2004)

Count Dracula terrorizes the crew of a spaceship.

Director:

Darrell Roodt

Writers:

Ivan Milborrow, Darrell Roodt

Stars:

Casper Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio

Cast

Complete credited cast:
Casper Van Dien	...	Capt. Abraham Van Helsing
Erika Eleniak	...	Aurora Ash
Coolio	...	187
Alexandra Kamp-Groeneveld	...	Mina Murry (as Alexandra Kamp)
Grant Swanby	...	Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood
Langley Kirkwood	...	Orlock
Tommy 'Tiny' Lister	...	Humvee (as Tiny Lister)
Udo Kier	...	Capt. Varna

Storyline

In the year 3000, the deep space salvage ship Mother III locates the vanished starship Demeter in the Carpathian System. Captain Abraham Van Helsing and his crew composed of the blonde assistant Aurora Ash; the crippled navigator Arthur "The Professor" Holmwood, who believes that he is a genius; the strong and dumb Humvee; the intern Mina Murry; and the drug addicted 187, decide to claim the possession of Demeter. While exploring the spacecraft, they see a tape of fifty years ago of Captain Varna telling that he was locked in his cabin since his crew was acting weird after getting a cargo of coffins in Transylvania station. When 187 decides to search in the coffins for some possible hidden dope, he cuts his hand and his blood awakes Count Orlock, a.k.a. Count Dracula. When Aurora discloses who Dracula is, the survivors try to find a way to destroy the vampire.

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Plot Keywords:

coffin | dracula | 3000s | vampire | spaceship | 

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Taglines:

In space, the sun never rises.

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Genres:

Horror | Sci-Fi

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Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for violence, language including sexual references, and some drug use

Details

Official Sites:

Film Afrika

Country:

Germany South Africa

Language:

English

Release Date:

9 August 2004 (USA)

Also Known As:

Dracula 3000: Infinite Darkness

Company Credits

Production Co:

Film Afrika Worldwide, ApolloProMedia GmbH & Co. 1. Filmproduktion KG (I), Fiction Film & Television Limited

Technical Specs

Runtime:

86 min

Color:

Color

Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1

Did You Know?

Trivia

The "Mother III" is actually a re-use of the slingship from the short lived 1993 TV series Space Rangers.

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Goofs

The Professor describes 187's throat wounds as being made by "definitely teeth...incisors." The incisors are the front teeth; the teeth that would correspond to vampire fangs are the canines.

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Quotes

187: I want to watch my anaconda spit all over your snow white ass.

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Crazy Credits

After the credits finish rolling, we once again see Tiny Lister's character carrying Aurora over his right shoulder. He slaps her butt and says, "Now that's what I'm talkin' about!"

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Connections

References The Bionic Woman (1976)

User Reviews

Dracula Must Be Rolling Over In His Grave...

A space ship cruising through the galaxy encounters a mysterious cargo ship apparently adrift in space. The crew investigates, hoping to lay claim to its cargo and acquire the ship. However, once aboard the ominous vessel, their own ship mysteriously disengages, leaving them to fend for themselves and battle none other then Count Dracula or Orloff as this creature calls himself.

Not a bad start. I mean it follows any number of typical sci-fi/horror plots. The genres have been around enough that even the most original story will inevitably invoke comparison to some other film. But, when you start with a fairly typical horror convention, the legend of Dracula and vampires in general, and combine it with a fairly typical sci-fi convention, a crew happening upon something and becoming marooned to battle whatever they're forced to confront, the filmmakers better have some clever up their sleeve to imprint their own mark on the familiar genre staples.

Director Darrell Roodt, who also wrote Dracula 3000 with Ivan Milborrow, is primarily responsible for this utter failure. So, no, Roodt and Milborrow have nothing up their sleeves but their arms.

This film begins ominously enough, with a very poorly delivered voice over by Caspar Van Dien, essentially providing enough exposition to explain who the crew on his ship are. I should also point out that Van Dien's character is named Van Helsing. And, oh so very cleverly, this Orloff character is from planet Transylvania in the Carpathian System. No kidding. I mean, come on guys, we get it. And, again, don't be goofy and use such names unless you got something special in store.

So, after Van Helsing's introduction of the crew, we have, essentially, a film about this crew trapped in a space ship with a vampire lurking about.

I'm a very forgiving viewer when it comes to low budget films. Occasionally, they can be brilliant, see Raimi's first two Evil Dead films. Dracula 3000 had a decent budget, enough for some decent special effects and for the salaries of 3rd stringers like, Van Dien, Erika Eleniak, Coolio, etc. However, unlike, the EVIL DEAD flicks, there is no talent behind the camera. In front of the camera, the talent is marginal, but I'm going to give the actors some benefit of the doubt. It really seems like they don't know what to do. The best actor of the bunch, Alexandra Kamp-Groenveld, gets killed off quickly and the ever-enjoyable Udo Kier is reduced to being an exposition vehicle for the viewer as the deceased captain we hear and see via a video journal. Grant Swandby is also okay as the Professor, but it's hard to take seriously a scientist in the year 3000 who wears glasses and rides a wheel chair. And, yes, it's a WHEEL chair as in there is nothing futuristic about it. As for the rest of the actors, well…….I'm sure Coolio really tried to be scary after getting turned into a vampire, but, well, I don't think irritating qualifies as scary in most people's book. Tiny Lister and Erika Eleniak don't really provide much either. Lister is never really more then the IL' big brawny black stereotype. Eleniak actually appears unhappy throughout the film and never tries very hard. Eleniak is a pretty girl, even in her mid thirties, but looks a little worn out and uninterested for the movie's duration.

This brings us to Count Dracula/Orloff played by Langley Kirkwood. To be honest, I can't recall who exactly the vampire is supposed to be. He introduces himself as Orloff but at some point he acknowledges himself as Count Dracula as well. Go figure. In any case, you will be absolutely astounded by just how lame this vampire is. Have you ever scene those cheesy horror show hosts local networks would have on their creature feature time slots? Yes, it's that bad. Langley Kirkwood, the actor playing Orlock, must have found it almost impossible to concentrate in such a ridiculous outfit. I'm sure he's still getting hassled by his friends.

There isn't much to the plot. The vampire is the last of it's kind and wants to go to Earth, for some reason, and also, there is some lip service about wanting to defeat Caspar Van Dien's character, Van Helsing. Most of the crew get turned into vampires, including Van Helsing, and the crew use conventional machine guns and pistols to try and defeat them before they figure out the old stake in the heart routine. Yeah, that's right, bullets, and yes, the year 3000. Keeping in that baffling vein, one of the main areas the crew hole themselves up in while battling the vampires, or vampire, since there is really never more then one threatening them, is filled with old Soviet posters and insignia and such. What the? There are also references to God/religion being antiquated systems. But these references only confused me. Did the Soviet Union make a comeback? Is there some point Roodt and Milborrow want to make with this? It never really goes anywhere, seems dumb and the posters, etc. just look cheap.

On the positive side, the film is competently shot and edited. The cinematography is nothing spectacular, but it's clearly done by professionals and, I had no problem with the special effects. The ships look like ships in outer space. Although, as I write this, I recall how god awful the corpse of the captain looks when the crew discover him. What were they thinking? Why didn't someone say something? See how difficult it is to say something positive about this film without falling back on the negatives? I guess, ultimately, that's the thing. Whatever positives you try and grant this sci-fi/horror debacle, you become overwhelmed by it's lack of quality.

Poor Udo Kier.