City Dragon (1995) User Reviews

So bad, it's good

[rosie125 · 3/10 · 10 February 2004]

My friend bought the DVD for this at a 99p store, and I can honestly say it was the best 99p he ever spent. Possibly the funniest film I ever saw, it focuses subtly on all issues- domestic violence, pregnancy, safe sex, mental illness..this film has it all, except a car chase. ps. there is a certain fight scene- a "bruce lee tribute" that everyone should watch. If this is on, and you have a couple of friends, watch it. You will laugh more than ever before.

Pretty good for 1st timers

[srundle-61776 · 4/10 · 12 October 2018]

I think the overall production was done well, but a little bit to much rapping liquor store fight scene was the best had legit looking hoodlums.

Middle of the road vanity project.

[CDiablo · 5/10 · 9 February 2023]

I'm not exactly the writer/director/producer of this vanity project was going for, but it only makes for a mildly entertaining movie.

He plays the ultimate badboy. He charms the ladies, he can fight, he can rap.......like many in this genre he can do it all.

Our main character immediately beds 2 women but meets the ultimate woman, one who resists his charms for about 48 hours. There is a background story of a violent ex that is willing to get violent to get her back. You would think that is the main plot, but they don't revisit it until the very last moments of the film. In the meantime, our hero gets the ultimate woman pregnant and proposes to her so now he has to get a job(even though he owns a top notch Corvette.) His new boss is a lady who wants a piece of our ultimate hero. This makes for drama.

Throughout the entire film all the main characters talk in rhyme/"rap" to eachother. Funny for 5 minutes of this 90 minute film. Also gangs of people are regularly trying to assault our hero usually for next to no reason, including buying ice cream.

The production is low budget as you would expect, poor camera work, lighting and acting are in abundance. The stunt work is mostly guys circling the hero, stepping up to him and getting dispatched of in one hit. I will admit the hero looks good, but he is one and done with his fights as opposed to the back and fourth you might find elsewhere.

This vanity project has some good-bad film qualities but really isn't a must watch. The baby mamma drama is the meat of the movie and counterbalances the rest of the nonsense plot, bad characters and illogical fight scenes.

It really is that bad.

[wellsjc · 1/10 · 29 August 2010]

I understand that this was a comedy with martial arts action, but really, where was the good comedy and good martial arts action? I never saw it at all. I did see a ton of horrible acting and forced crappy comedy. The martial arts in the film was almost as impressive as TMNT, but without the fun of the turtles. Everything about this movie made me ashamed that I even considered watching it. I do believe that if I was given the option to watch this film again or have my first born killed in a very torturous way, I'd consider the latter. And I do love my first born very much. This movie may be one of the few films in the world that Michael Bay could do a remake of and it would turn out much better than the first. If stick figures were used to reenact all the action in the film it'd be better. The closest thing to a saving grace in this film is the rapping. That rocked the movie, but did not give it enough to make the thing worth watching.

I would never suggest this film to anyone unless you fully want your eyes to bleed and your ears to explode.

Wow

[cptinramius · 1/10 · 30 July 2008]

So I couldn't tell if this movie was a soft-core porn or just a cheesy action flick for the first 20 minutes*. There are some awesome lines about sugar and cream. Thank goodness MC Kung Fu fell in love and started wooing his woman then we could get to the heart of this movie, the dialogue. Solid Gold. All of MC Kung Fu's guy friends "rap-talk". The women don't say much unless they're getting seduced with a 1992 Camero. Hello hot car. The fight scenes are few and far between, but there are some awesome Segal-esquire moves. Well early Seagalese stuff. MC Kung Fu actually does kicks. If you like bad movies I say you should check it out.

*I actually have no idea how long this took as time ceased to exist during this film.

Dear God, No!

[mooncat335 · 1/10 · 6 January 2008]

We found this for a pound in our local video shop, and I'm not sure it was even worth that! The story focuses on Ray, a work-hard-play-hard fighter from LA and his two homies, 'Philthy' Phil and self-proclaimed 'wigger' Rick. All three of these inexplicably speak in rhyme and spend the first half of the film chatting up women with their corny rapping skills. Enter Tina, a comically dressed young woman who has just escaped from her abusive boyfriend. Falling for Ray, then finding out that she's pregnant with her ex's baby(or a cushion...), the pair decided to get married and make a go of it. The film then becomes a completely different film where we are privy to Ray and Tina's already failing marriage, Tina's ex's adventures in a mental institution, Ray's 'well meaning' infidelity, and his irritating friends foibles. The final showdowns consist of Ray beating up a group of about ten men (One of which is sporting a 'Genuine Mickey Mouse' sweater) then chasing Tina's baby-stealing ex up to the top of the building. Although the final fight goes on far too long, the best part comes when John the ex places Tina's baby (a rubber doll) on the floor and Ray accidentally tramples on in when he goes to fight him. All the acting, sound quality, production values, sets, and music could not be worse, but if you want a laugh when you're drunk, this is the film for you!

Make yourself an unofficial "Home Dog" and watch City Dragon!

[tarbosh22000 · 8 June 2011]

Ray (MC Kung Fu) is a carefree rapping lothario who is also adept at martial arts. He spends his time rhyming everything he says and hanging out with his two "Home Dogs" Rick (Williams) and Philthy (Phillips). When not chatting up the ladies at the local dive, he's getting into fights with people of various ethnicities. His life changes when he meets Tina (Barbour), a "fly honey" of the first order. He gives up his womanizing ways after he falls in love with her. There is a problem, however: Tina's abusive ex-boyfriend John (Haran) isn't prepared to let her out of his iron fist and he wants revenge on Ray. You know he's evil because a. he's white, b. he beats Tina and c. he doesn't even rhyme everything he says. What a chump. As you'll see, John gives new meaning to the term "insanely jealous". Amidst all his many problems, will Ray be "dope" enough to come out on top? City Dragon is really something. Yes, it's shot on video and everything from the acting to the editing and everything in between is incredibly amateurish and incoherent...but that would be missing the point entirely! Philthy Phil Phillips, a multi-talented man, actually made this movie and got it into stores. Sure, the movie isn't technically perfect, but you must see it to believe it. Ray/MC Kung Fu is like some sort of out-of-control cross between Saturday Night Live's Fred Armisen and Wordsworth the cat from the old Heathcliff cartoon. And where did they find the guy who plays Rick (the self-described "wigger")? Presumably this isn't the same John Williams who composed the score to Star Wars (1977) Although we're still not entirely sure. With his bug-eyed, super-fast rhyming style and whiteness, he predates Eminem by many years. But where are John Williams' millions of dollars and record deal? Injustice I tell you. Injustice.

The clothes are phenomenal. Ray's wardrobe alone is amazing. He mainly wears a barely-existent muscle shirt in his daily life (which he is constantly taking off and doesn't even bother to pick up off the ground after his fights, he must have a closet full of them), but when he really wants to hit the town and look classy, he simply puts an over-sized silver sport coat over his black tank top. And that's just one character.

But what's really unusual about City Dragon (besides everything I've just described) is how the plot moves from upbeat rapping and fun to become a family drama which tackles many serious themes: gangs, violence, domestic abuse, family strife, abortion, workplace harassment, blackmail and all manner of racial animus. Not to mention how you shouldn't step on someone's miniature ice cream cone or spill their soda unless you are looking for grievous bodily harm. Why Philthy would think audiences wanted to see MC Kung Fu's domestic and workplace issues remains unclear.

The saga of Ray makes for a one-of-a-kind movie. You may love it, you may hate it, but you can't ignore it. Well, you COULD, but you shouldn't. The "home movie" style may grate on some viewers, but the movie is funny and unique. Plus you can usually find it for a dollar or less on DVD. Unfortunately, the alcohol you will probably want to go along with the movie is sold separately.

For a movie that makes Cool As Ice (1991) look like A Clockwork Orange (1971) don't hesitate to make yourself an unofficial "Home Dog" and watch City Dragon.

for more insanity, please visit: comeuppancereviews.com

This film is a right dollop of pappy show!

[smiley-32 · 1/10 · 10 March 2006]

City Dragon! I bought this film last year.. and up to now, I haven't seen it! Until I saw it yesterday. I must admit, it's one of those low budget rap, chop socky, kung fu, urban ghetto, romance stuff of a movie! What I find so bad is, why would someone like director 'Philthy' Phil Phillips come up with so much pappy show - where our hero 'raps' when he talks to people, and even so when he flirts with the girls? Where does he get all those acting talents from..?

The bad John played by J.Daran.. I don't really see him much of a bad guy.. but I guess with that performance - he was just trying it on.

There were so many flaws about this movie that I felt it sucked! The acting was way below par.. Somehow the volume of the movie wasn't really that serious.. and when you think about a martial arts movie.. The storyline has got to be top notch. Solid! This one was too soft.

MC Kung Fu may've made his name on there. But I felt he could give his character more depth, rather than be just this 'gigolo' who wears fancy clothes, have muscles like Schwarzenegger and have this 'rockabilly' hair cut.

After watching this movie.. I felt this wasn't my kind of movie.. It's a shame that Phil Phillips made only one movie.. Maybe the audience felt this sort of film wasn't really up to their standards. Yes! They would laugh.. But at the end of the day, this is one movie they wouldn't want to pay their money to see..

I bought this 'City Dragon' DVD free with another DVD at some secondhand shop.

You know what? I sent it back there and got £2.00 for it.

Sorry Phil, your movie's awful! 0 out of 10!

The greatest pound shop buy ever.

[BaronVonRolo · 10/10 · 30 April 2005]

This film, is legendary, the DVD has 4 chapters, yet the film is about 2 hours long or something similar. If you can find it, it's well worth watching, there isn't a single moment in this film that can't be considered genius, from the cheese fest dialogue containing mostly rap, to the all the hollyoaks style issues they cover. After watching this film, i began to question real life situations with the words "What would city dragon do at a time like this?". It's filled with plot holes, and inconsistencies, the settings are like a porn film, but there's no porn in it, and yet, it's still a film i can sit down and watch with my friends and spend the whole thing laughing.

I'm shocked, really shocked, that Philthy Phil Phillips has only done 1 film. It's just plain shocking.

Probably the best example of a midget doing kung fu I've ever seen.

[jdamarquette · 10/10 · 17 January 2007]

How amazing are the raps in this film!!! Also I found that Philthy Phil is one hell of a man, not only did he write the songs, appear, edit, produce and direct but I think he did every other job with his video camera. I swear that when they made this film they said, "hey lets go into a charity shop, buy all the clothes, plus a pink frisby. Now lets get all our mates and their mates and put them in front of my video camera. The best parts of this film are how MC Kung fu manages to get into fights with various people who just shout abuse! Every other person starts a fight with him, its hilarious. The guy in the dojo is good who's wearing a mickey mouse club t-shirt, and the way MC Kung fu raps to chat girls up has really helped me with girls, they all think I'm disabled. This film is one of the unintentionally hilarious films I've seen in my life, I don't think I've lost so much bodily fluid crying with laughter. Make more!

Entertaining and cringe inducing in about equal measures

[HaemovoreRex · 6/10 · 1 July 2009]

It's funny isn't it......sometimes you can watch a film from the relatively recent past yet it will look far more dated than something from the 70's and 80's(!) Such is the case with this often embarrassing effort which springs forth from a time when we were gyrating our hips in a bizarre manner to the tunes of MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice.

The story concerns a well muscled dude called Ray who along with his friends seems to communicate via a curious system of (cringe inducing) rapping. Our trio are 'dawgs' though - a colloquialism ostensibly denoting their proclivity for decidedly promiscuous sexual conduct with members of the fairer sex. Anyway, after a few on screen conquests it transpires that Ray actually falls head over heels in love with one lady; Awwww - well who can scoff at such true romance eh? Unfortunately however, said sexy lass has a deranged ex who just won't let her go. Trouble inevitably ensues and Ray is forced to fight for his woman......which he does in style.

I've got to say it, the guy playing Ray, Stan Derain (although here listed as MC Kung Fu) has some pretty slick moves for sure and gets to show them off quite regularly as he beats the crap out of various scum bags throughout proceedings. Will Ray manage to overcome the odds, keep his woman and succeed in being a good father to his unborn child? Will he call a welcome cessation to his interminable rapping antics? You'll just have to watch and see. Other than that, for such an obviously low budget, I feel that the makers are to be applauded for their obvious hard work; OK so this is no masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination but it is never anything less than entertaining throughout, whether it be the many fights our hero gets into, his unlikely sexual shenanigans which play out almost as hilariously as the on screen antics featured in many of the old 1970's British sex comedies or else the somewhat misplaced attempts at serious drama, this is certainly never dull.

For a slice of nineties nostalgia (with some added sex and martial arts) check this out.

Wow

[dolemite72 · 10/10 · 7 July 2006]

Where do you begin, when describing a movie, like City Dragon?

This movie has it all, cool guys, rap music, hot chicks, serious issues and 'bitchin' kung-fu.....City Dragon has all these elements....and more! The hero, Ray (played by the amazingly named M C Kung-Fu) is a rapping romeo of the streets (seriously, 96% of his entire dialogue rhymes) and he hangs out with his two 'homies' Philthy Phil and (pretty fly for a white guy) 'rhymin' Rick (who's a self proclaimed 'wigger')

This epic movie opens up, with Latino homeboys trying to carjack Ray, and falling foul to his amazing kung-fu skills (fools!) followed by the three heroes meeting up in a club, free-styling over the ladies they've loved (no joking, these guys constantly brag about the daily rota of girls they do the 'wild thang' with!) Ray spends little time in bedding a cutie (rhyming throughout, of course) and even leaving her a 'rapping' dear Jane letter, the following morning. Immediately afterwards Ray hooks up with a buxom (Shannon Whirry look-a-like) in white Lycra, who, after some more romantic rhyming, reveals an impressive set of 'chesticles' (gotta admire Ray...keeping it multi-cultural)

No sooner than this, Ray is rapping on the streets (a lovely ditty called 'Scandalous', that puts all other rap songs to shame) and keeping his eyes on the ladies, whilst Philthy Phil and 'randy' Rick are posing as music producers.....Philthy Phil, could very easily be in the music biz fo' real, when you hear him 'dropppin' rhymes in overtime' to his (haunting) rap ballad 'Night-swim' Still though, our three heroes still have time to meet up in the dojo (and in true Three Muskateers style hand on hand chant) recite their credo for life and love:

"One...Two...Three.....Three home-dogs getting' busy.....Knocking boots, we make girls dizzy...Three of us, having a ball.....so many women....we'll have em' all!"

Touching stuff, i'm sure you'll agree?

But then fate strikes, when Ray meets the love of his life, Tina (replete with psychotic ex-boyfriend baggage) and settles down (can a stud as bad-ass as Ray leave the 'game'.....and will the 'game' let him leave?). If Tina's ex-boyfriend doesn't kill Ray, then Ray's oversexed demanding (female) boss, will!

To say anything else, would spoil too much of this great movie (and so far i've only covered the first 13 minutes of this 98 minute masterpiece) For all those, craving the days of Dolemite and The Last Dragon/meets Breakin.....add City Dragon to your collection, it's way better than all the tripe that Hollywood is putting out.....without a doubt.....ray turns it out....he's got the clout.....to knock you out (see, one viewing of this movie, results in a all-day 'rhyme-fest'?)

How can something this bad be this good?!?!

[Obi_Will_Kenobi · 10/10 · 24 July 2005]

How can something this bad be this good!?!?!

No budget + Dire acting + Comical fight scenes = City Dragon

This film had me and my mates laughing our smelly little socks off for hours! at first i thought it was just the alcohol but on second viewing (in a more sober state) it was even funnier! The star of the show "MC Kung fu" is one of the all time great comic actors but the thing is... He's trying to be serious! He looks like a cross between Sly Stallone and a Michael Jackson's latest attempt at a face. and to top it off he has a hair cut that i'm sure he borrowed from a member of Duran-Duran.

MC Kung Fu spends his days starting fights with strangers for reasons such as stepping on his ice cream and ... wait for it ... spilling his Pepsi!

Chatting up girls via the medium of rap! with such poetic rhymes such as "Tina, Tina, My African Queena" and "your so sweet even diabetes wouldn't stop me overdosing on you!"

He also enjoys wearing fingerless gloves, vests, and suit jackets with some of the biggest shoulder pads you'll ever see on a 32 inch screen!

The film was clearly made on a budget of £3.50 but thats the best thing about it. the shaky sets, the "hot new night clubs" with only 3 extras in the background, the fact that they couldn't cast anyone with any acting talent!

It is without a doubt the funniest thing I've ever seen

Seriously I'm pleading with you RENT IT, BUY IT, BORROW IT, STEAL IT JUST PLEASE WATCH THIS FILM!!!!!!!!

Sorta like Fresh Prince of Bel Air but about 100x better

[jamesmcguirk7 · 10/10 · 8 March 2006]

This is possibly the best so-bad-its-good film ever. It doesn't make any sense but that doesn't stop it being an undiscovered classic of the nineties. I give it 10/10 for the terrible acting, hilariously bad outfits sported by MC Kung Fu (where is he now?) and the general porno atmosphere. It actually has a great casio-keyboard-hip-hop soundtrack that would compliment any great party. Highlight scenes include "Philthy" Phil rapping and the actually very unattractive Ray chatting up bimbos in the street. Its shocking that virtually none of the cast have gone on to do anything since. They could've at least done a sequel, it couldn't have been any worse. Look out for it on DVD in a pound shop near you!

Rapping Fools = Movie Stars!!!

[bil101ez73 · 10/10 · 20 June 2004]

Where do I begin to comment on such a masterpiece?! This is the funniest kung-fu movie EVER!!! Anyone named MC Kung Fu has my vote, for what, that is a different story. This awful Kung Fu wannabe couldn't fight his way out of a paperback, but the choreographed fighting scenes are historical beyond belief. MC fights everyone and there mother (it looks as if one of the bad guys is Howard Stern, could it be him?). With such characters as Philthy Phil, Ray, and Queen Mary (yes a man!) this is a must have in your cheap DVD collection.

The single best part of this movie is Philthy Phil. The name says it all. He is a rapping fool with a great dance and rap scene with his big hit that no one has ever heard, "Night Swim". What a classic, I hope someone remakes it soon.

This movie is definitely worth watching for a huge laugh.

I'm going to save my 99 cents and pass on this one

[drtturner · 13 May 2006]

I read the reviews for this film and I was considering buying this at the dollar store that carries it, however my mind changed when I found a great alternative on television 1 minute later that I was able to record for FREE. It is called Master Demon (1991) and although it is in Spanish, the acting is so hilariously overdone with dialog that alternates between missing and grunting, you hardly notice what language it is in. While recording portions of this movie, I read your reviews on City Dragon and it is pretty safe to say we are talking two of a kind. Tacky editing, A muscle bound he-man woman dressed in scantily clad leather, villains who appear to be wearing a grotesque version of a Nixon mask, but with no explanation or reference to it, we are suppose to think that it is a real face. One guys karate move was to turn his back and wait a literal 5 seconds for the opponent to karate chop him to the now exposed region. Where did he learn that move ? Again, another laugh out loud so dismal it is actually good film.

Great martial artist & Funny Comedy action packed movie.

[allcolorze · 10/10 · 21 June 2007]

Some of the previous comments didn't understand that this movie is a COMEDY with martial arts action. If you understand that, then you will get the movie more. The three buddies love to have fun and love very much the company of very beautiful ladies which this movie has several beautiful ladies throughout. The chemistry between Tina and Ray is phenomenal so much that you can believe that they really are a couple. The martial arts fight scenes are great throughout with several different very fast martial arts moves and weapons expertise using the escrima sticks, single and double nunchakus, and the long staff. Ray shows that he can fight his way out of almost anything when cornered. The nunchakus fight scenes and the star of the movie are the best since Bruce Lee. The main characters are very funny jokesters. If you are like me who loves laugh-out-loud comedy, great martial arts fight scenes showing a variety of moves, a simple and not complicated story line, and very beautiful ladies throughout, and you're looking for a good time then you're like me and this is why for my entertainment bucks and important time, this movie has a lot of that and that's why I give it a "10" cause most movies are boring. If you are looking for artsy fartsy and hard to understand story lines, this is not your movie. I loved it.

City Dragon would make a seamless pairing with, William Lee's equally stupendous D.I.Y actioner 'Treasure of The Ninja'

[Weirdling_Wolf · 9/10 · 30 January 2024]

This enjoyably eccentric Hip-Hop head-knocker features buff, poon-playing pugilist Stan Derain aka 'MC Kung Fu' as the relentlessly rhyming, alpha dog Ray. Ray proves equally adept at dazzling the honey's with his cunning linguistics, or heroically handing bellicose barrio nitwits their asses with dynamite dexterity! City Dragon is some righteously next-level BMG, and 'Bad Movie Genius' of this magnitude comes along all too rarely! Like 'Samurai Cop' & 'Miami Connection, 'City Dragon' is another gnarly example of O. G Kung Fuckshituppery! The almost continuously rhyming dialogue provides inspired comedic continuity, and I honestly can't readily recall seeing anything quite so dementedly dope as 'City Dragon'!

Saccharine Hallmark dramaturgy, scintillating syntax, unexpectedly hot chicks, explosive nun-chuckery, Kentucky Fried Kung Fu, plus a mentalist rooftop climax that can be considered one of the most singularly strange confrontations ever conceived! Check out 'City Dragon' with alacrity, and give your chuckle glands a monstrously rigorous workout! Everyone should watch at least one vanity actioner starring a cocky, super-ripped dude called MC Kung Fu! For all its galloping cheapnis, and prodigious absurdity, 'City Dragon' remains far more watchable fare than any of the dully recycled drivel Netflix/A24/Blumhouse routinely inflict on the world. City Dragon would make a seamless pairing with, William Lee's equally stupendous D. I. Y actioner 'Treasure of The Ninja', since both are clearly made as a loving tribute to the legendary Bruce Lee.