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David Thomas Sckrabulis
Johnny Francis Wolf,
You've seen Feeders and you think to yourself, what a wonderful world. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, a sequel-urge is nipping at your nose.
Well this ain't no winter wonderland, Jack. This is a coal burning furnace spitting the fiery flames of futility at your dismayed visage.
Yes, Feeders 2 is a sequel in every sense of the word. The Feeders are back, and this time Santa joins the fray. A nice little asynchronous segment featuring a character from the first Feeders is thrown in, apparently to stun and confuse the audience. Then it gets worse. Once the nerve endings gain sensation again, there is nothing but pain.
The best scene is where a guy goes into his basement, then into his basement's basement, then apparently into his basement's basement's sub basement to get killed by a Feeder.
And at one point someone thinks a Feeder is a toy.
Well that's a no-brainer, they look that fake.
Gone is the delirious Ed-Wood-Meets-Larry-Flint fun of the original feeders, and as a retread, this film gets a flat tire. Where Feeders fed, even though this movie is led to the same watering hole, it poops instead of feeds. You can lead a dead sequel out to pasture but you can't make it drink from the fountain of its own futility. No sir, you take that unpleasant pull off the tap of tepidness by your lonesome if you see this film.
Where is the fun? In the sub-sub-basement. Where is the acting? The only acting in this film is the fast-acting damage inducing effects of seeing the acting of the the tortuous kids, kids that would make you take your own life if they were your kids. If they were someone else's kids that you only saw once in your life, you might take your life just to show your support that the parents should take their own lives.
If you see this movie, don't take your own life. Hasn't the movie done enough? Just vomit, shake it off, and seek therapy.
Feeders 2 picks up where Feeders left off, at the top of the urinal bowl. Then it plunges right in and you flush away 90 minutes of your life.
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