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Ding-a-ling-Less (2001)

Jack Peterson is the most celebrated birdhouse builder in the town of Stalksdale. His large wooden erections are the talk of the town. He's friendly and attractive and seems to have ... See full summary »

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Cast

Credited cast:
...
Jack Peterson
...
Alan
Mark Darby Robinson
Lydia Toon Fleuery ...
Jenny
Michele Seidman
Robin Myriah Hatcher ...
Cameron
Dan Morris
Larry Tobias
Charlotte Hackman
Rest of cast listed alphabetically:
Catherine Bayley ...
Waitress
Sam Edens ...
Restaurant Patron
Matthew Helms ...
Got Milk Kid
...
Dennis
...
Reporter Robert Bishop
Matthew Trotter ...
Bartender
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Storyline

Jack Peterson is the most celebrated birdhouse builder in the town of Stalksdale. His large wooden erections are the talk of the town. He's friendly and attractive and seems to have everything going for him. In fact, you might assume Jack is one of the luckiest guys around. But most don't know that Jack was horribly disfigured at birth, making him incapable of forming close relationships with women. Things start looking up, however, when Jack learns of a medical procedure that can reverse his condition. With the help of his womanizing best friend Alan and an eccentric doctor named Skinner, Jack tries to win the heart of the girl next door and obtain the life he's always wanted. Things turn comically tragic, however, when things don't quite go as planned. Written by Anonymous

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Comedy

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Release Date:

December 2004 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

Re-Membering Jack  »

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Budget:

$1,000,000 (estimated)
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Did You Know?

Quotes

Jack Peterson: Tell me something pleasant about the dick, tell me something romantic.
Alan: Romantic?
[pause. Both descend onto sliding board tracks]
Alan: Well, I mean, I guess I could describe what it's like to be inside of a woman. I don't know if I have the verbal elegance to illustrate such a feeling; I don't know if Walt Whitman coulda done it.
[beat]
Alan: But there's this moment, man, when you first slide inside of a woman and your cock is coated with this wet, wonderful warmth that - it's unlike anything you've ever ...
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Connections

Referenced in Raising the Stakes (2005) See more »

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User Reviews

 
a birdhouse builder desires a pecker of his own.
26 August 2003 | by (South Beach, FL) – See all my reviews

when fellini committed 8 1/2 to film many commented that it was the most personal vision ever to find its perfect expression. when dante cast betrice to the flames of his undying passion many were aghast at the honest brutality of his unrequited feelings for a younger woman. when onur tukel, and a merry band of wickedly talented and misfited filmmakers--from the mecca of movie-making insanity--band together, during the course of two chilly weeks in december 2000, many commented that nothing more sophmoric had ever been committed...much less on film.

well, to the doubters out there, watch this original piece and find out why the ID is both a charming and powerful thing. and if that doesn't getchya, roll over and rub one out...it's probably time you did so.

kudos onur on a great piece of art


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