Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004 Video Game)
Major Zero: 007 is the biggest thing to come out of England since the Mayflower. I wouldn't be surprised if they made 20 more of those movies.
Ocelot: What's your name?
Naked Snake: Snake.
Ocelot: No, not that name. You're not a snake, and I'm not an ocelot. We're men with names. My name... is Adamska. And you?
Naked Snake: John.
Ocelot: Plain name. But I won't forget it.
Sigint: Snake, what's up? Why are you naked? I know there's a "NAKED" option under "UNIFORM" that lets you take off the upper part of your uniform. But without a shirt on, your camouflage sucks, and your stamina goes down faster. You don't get any advantages whatsoever.
Naked Snake: Sure there are.
Sigint: Like what?
Naked Snake: It feels good.
Sigint: ...Man, you do whatever you want.
Naked Snake: I will, thanks. Just one question, though.
Naked Snake: Is there a way to take off my pants?
Sigint: Say what?
Naked Snake: My pants, can I...
Sigint: Aw, hell no! This FOX unit is a nut fest!
Sigint: [if you call Sigint while wearing a cardboard box] Uh,Snake... what are you doing?
Naked Snake: I'm in a box.
Sigint: A cardboard box? Why are you...?
Naked Snake: I dunno. I was just looking at it, and suddenly I got this irresistible urge to get inside. No not just an urge - more than that. It was my destiny to be here; in the box.
Naked Snake: Yeah. And then when I put it on, I suddenly got this feeling of inner peace. I can't put it into words. I feel... safe. Like this is where I was meant to be. Like I'd found the key to true happiness.
Naked Snake: Does any of that make sense?
Sigint: Not even a little.
Naked Snake: You should come inside the box... Then you'll know what I mean.
Sigint: Man. I don't wanna know what you mean! Between you and Para-Medic, is everyone but me that is hooked up with the Major strange?
Naked Snake: ...
Sigint: Yeah, well, anyway. I suppose even that dumbass box might make a decent disguise if you wear it inside a building.
The Boss: In 1960 I saw a vision of the ideal future from space. Three years earlier the Soviet Union had succeeded in launching Sputnik, the first manmade satellite in history, into orbit. This came as a huge shock to the United States. In response, America threw everything it had into its own manned space flight project, the Mercury project. Even as the Soviets seemed poised to send their first man into space America was still experimenting with chimpanzees in rockets. The government wanted human data. So they secretly decided to send a human being into space. I was the one they chose. At the time they didn't have the technology to block out cosmic rays and whoever they sent up would inevitably be exposed to heavy radiation. That's why they chose me. After all, I had already been irradiated once. Of course, you won't find any of this in the history books. I could see the planet as it appeared form space. That's when it finally hit me. Space exploration is nothing but another game in the power struggle between the US and USSR. Politics, economics, the arms race - they're all just arenas for meaningless competition. I'm sure you can see that. But the Earth itself has no boundaries. No East, No West, No Cold War. And the irony of it is, the United States and the Soviet Union are spending billions on their space programs and the missile race only to arrive at the same conclusion. In the 21st century everyone will be able to see that we are all just inhabitants of a little celestial body called Earth. A world without communism and capitalism... that is the world I wanted to see. But reality continued to betray me.
Colonel Campbell: [after "accidentally" killing Ocelot] Snake, what have you done? You've changed history. You've created a Time Paradox!
[if you call Sigint after a nightmare]
Sigint: Well, let me tell you about the absolute worst, most sickening nightmare I ever had. This one isn't for the kids. OK, so there's this huge pile of crap, right? It's shaped like a giant tank, and it's walking around on two legs, goin' on a rampage and stompin' on people and houses and stuff. And this giant turd is carrying the nastiest missiles you ever saw. Like whenever it launches one of its turd missiles... whatever it hits - people, trees, buildings - turns into shit. My hometown, my old school, my family, my girlfriend, old man John... Everything in that turd's path turned into shit.
Naked Snake: That's... pretty sick, man.
The Boss: One must die and one must live. No victory, no defeat. The survivor will carry on the fight. It is our destiny... The one who survives will inherit the title of Boss. And the one who inherits the title of Boss will face an existence of endless battle. I'll give you ten minutes. In ten minutes, MiGs will come and bomb the hell out of this place. If you can beat me in less than ten minutes, you'll be able to escape in time.
[loads her Patriot]
The Boss: Jack, let's make this the greatest ten minutes of our lives!
Solid Snake: [on radio before starting Snake vs Monkey] I'll say this once and only once. I'm not taking out any more Metal Gears! Not rescuing any old men, or VIP. If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.
Colonel Campbell: Well, it's not exactly a hot damsel, but it is a rescue mission.
Solid Snake: What are we rescuing?
Colonel Campbell: Apes.
Solid Snake: What?
Colonel Campbell: Monkeys.
Solid Snake: Again, what?
The Boss: I raised you, and loved you, I've given you weapons, taught you techniques, endowed you with knowledge. There's nothing more for me to give you. All that's left for you to take is my life.
Ocelot: [Snake, surrounded by the Ocelot unit, assumes his CQC fighting stance] What is that stance? And that gun?
[the Ocelot unit all laugh at Snake]
Ocelot: [Ocelot flips out his gun and catches it with his right hand] If you're not The Boss... then die!
[Ocelot pulls the trigger, but his gun jams, then Snake proceeds to take down him and every GRU surrounding him]
Naked Snake: You ejected the first bullet by hand, didn't you? I see what you were trying to do, but testing a technique you've only heard about in the middle of battle wasn't very smart. You were asking to have your gun jam on you. Besides, I don't think you're cut out for an automatic in the first place; you tend to twist your elbow a little to absorb the recoil. That's more of a revolver technique.
Ocelot: [pulls out a knife] You... filthy American dog!
[attacks Snake, but Snake easily takes him down]
Naked Snake: But, that was some fancy shooting. You're pretty good.
Ocelot: Pretty good...
EVA: [in reference to The Boss] Snake, the world will never know what she did. Future generations will revile her; in America as a dispicable traitor with no sense of honor, and the Soviet Union as a monster who unleashed a nuclear catastrophe. She will go down in official history as a war criminal.
Ocelot: So this is the legendary Boss? We meet at last.
KGB Soldier: You-you're from the Ocelot unit of Spetsnaz. What's a GRU soldier doing here?
KGB Soldier: He's the Ocelot Commander.
Ocelot: Ha! That's Major Ocelot to you... and don't you forget it.
KGB Soldier: Sokolov is ours. Now get out of here.
Ocelot: An ocelot never lets its prey escape.
KGB Soldier: What?
[Ocelot kills them all with his makarov]
Ocelot: I can't say it feels good to kill a comrade, even if it is for the GRU.
The Boss: My friends, let us fight together again.
The Fear: I have waited long for this day.
The Pain: We will fight with you once more.
The End: Welcome back, Boss.
The Boss: Now that all five of us are together, it's time we go to the depths of hell itself.
[It begins to rain]
The Boss: It's raining blood. Is he crying?
[the Sorrow appears near her, then disappears from sight]
Sigint: Snake, why are you smoking a cigarette?
Naked Snake: It's a cigar.
Sigint: Cigar, cigarette, same thing.
Naked Snake: It's *not* the same thing!
EVA: [voiceover] But I think she wanted you of all people to know the truth. She wanted to live on in your memory, not as a solider, but as a woman. But she was forbidden to tell you herself. And that's why she told me. Snake, history will ever know what she did. No one will ever learn the truth. Her story... her debriefing, will endure only in your heart. Everything she did, she did for her country. She sacrificed her life and honor for her native land. She was a real hero. She was a true patriot.
The Boss: You're a soldier! Finish your mission! Show your loyalty! Face me.
Naked Snake: EVA, I wanted to ask you about Ocelot...
EVA: Yeah, I know. He's pretty infatuated with you, isn't he?
Naked Snake: That's not what I meant.
Para-Medic: Yes, the Russian glowcap is a glowing mushroom, so it'll recharge your batteries when you eat it.
Naked Snake: After the end of World War II, the world was split into two - East and West. This marked the beginning of the era called the Cold War.
Colonel Volgin: Kuwabara, Kuwabara.
[Volgin's body sparkles from electric bolts]
Colonel Volgin: Ah, what a joyful scene.
The Boss: Colonel Volgin...
Colonel Volgin: Welcome to my country, and to my unit.
Para-Medic: Snake, look at your body!
Naked Snake: Yep... lookin' good.
Para-Medic: Not there.
Naked Snake: Then where?
Para-Medic: You have leeches all over your body!
Major Zero: I don't want to call President Kennedy a liar, but I simply cannot imagine that in six years' time, man will have reached the moon.
Naked Snake: I don't know, I never thought we would make it into space.
Colonel Volgin: [before firing the portable "Davy Crockett" nuclear warhead into Sokolov's former research lab in the jungle] Remember the Alamo.
President Johnson: You are above even The Boss. I hereby award you the title of Big Boss. You are a true patriot.
EVA: OK, your Raikov disguise is complete. Now they won't stop you no matter what you do.
Naked Snake: Even if I punch someone in the face?
Naked Snake: Really?
Naked Snake: Why?
EVA: Raikov's just that kind of guy.
Ocelot: I don't approve of your methods!
Colonel Volgin: I wasn't aware my methods needed your approval! I'm in control here!
Ocelot: And that nuclear shell...
Colonel Volgin: Still feeling sore about that? What are you gonna do? Report it to the authorities?
Major Zero: This is one for the history books, the world's first HALO jump.
The Boss: Life's end...
[drops the Davy Crockett]
The Boss: Isn't it beautiful? It's almost tragic. When life ends, it gives off a final lingering aroma. Light is but a farewell gift from the darkness to those on their way to die. I've been waiting, Snake, for a long time. Waiting for your birth, your growth, and the finality of today.
The Boss: Snake, you were an atomic test subject, weren't you? On Bikini Atoll. That's part of the reason I was drawn to you. You and I are alike. We're both slowly being eaten away by the karma of others. We'll never have the chance to die peacefully of old age. We have no tomorrow.
Colonel Volgin: [to EVA] You dirty whore! I've had enough kisses from you!
The Pain: I am the Pain! I shall send you to a world of anguish beyond your imagination! Let's get started!
The Fury: I am the Fury... The flames of my rage will incinerate you! I came back from space, and as I returned, I had one vision... the world set ablaze! And do you know what I saw? Fury! A great and terrible fury at being alive! Now you will feel the scorching heat of that horrible blackness!
The Fear: I... am the Fear... I shall fill you with fear as you have never experienced before! Come into my web...
The End: ...I beg of you, grant me the strength to take this... final prey... let me linger in this world just a little longer. I have already slept enough for one lifetime... enough for an eternity, you have my thanks. I have to thank you... for waking me, if you hadn't shown up, my sleep would have been eternal... do you hear me, Snake? I am The End, I am here to bring you to your ultimate fate. You will make a fine quarry for my final hunt.
Naked Snake: Home in time for dinner.
Major Zero: But if you fail you'll be eating breakfeast, lunch, and all the rest of your meals in the jungle.
Naked Snake: I'm glad I'm not as strange as the Major.
Para-Medic: The majors not strange...
Major Zero: [in background] My tea's gone! Who's drunk it? How am I supposed to have teatime without tea?
Para-Medic: Well, not that strange...
Major Zero: [in background] My scone's gone too!
The Sorrow: This world is one of sadness. Battle brings death. Death brings sorrow. The living may not hear them. Their voices may fall upon deaf ears. But make no mistake - the dead... are not silent.
The Boss: [hands Snake the Philosopher's Legacy, as she lays dying] Take this... keep it safe. It's our only hope.
[hands snake her Patriot machine gun]
Naked Snake: A Patriot? Why are you giving me this?
The Boss: Jack... or should I say Snake... you're a wonderful man. Kill me now. There's only room for one snake and one boss.
The Pain: [as the Boss throws Snake off the bridge] The new blood has been rejected!
Sigint: [regarding the Soviet camo] Looks like Soviet guards will hesitate to attack you from behind with this on.
Naked Snake: You mean it has advantages, other than being stylish?
Para-Medic: [On the radio] Snake, have you seen "007: From Russia with Love"?
Naked Snake: I don't like those movie. Real spies are nothing like James Bond. It's pure fantasy.
Para-Medic: Snake, I don't think the Major's going to like you saying that.
Naked Snake: And even though it's fiction. I can't help but comparing myself to Bond.
Major Zero: What exactly don't you like about James Bond? Is it the fantastic gadgets? The cars? The guns?
Naked Snake: Major...!
Major Zero: Snake, wouldn't you like to have a gun shaped like a pen?
Naked Snake: What good is a pen going to do me in the jungle? I'd look like a fool.
Major Zero: Then what about a snake-shaped gun? You could make it look like you're grappling with a giant snake and then get a shot in on the enemy while they're distracted.
Naked Snake: Ok, now you're being ridiculous.
Naked Snake: [as Granin is getting drunk] You're crocked, aren't you?
Director Granin: I am merely drowning my sorrow.
The Boss: Look at this scar. This is proof that I was once a mother. I gave up my body and my child for my country. There is nothing left inside me now. Nothing at all. No hatred, not even regret. And yet sometimes at night I can still feel the pain creeping up inside me. Slithering through my body, like a snake.
The Boss: It was November 1st, 1951. I was in the Nevada desert participating in atomic testing. The name "Nevada" is derived from Spanish... "covered in snow," "white as snow." And snow is exactly what I saw in the that Nevada desert. It froze my blood white.
Para-Medic: He's wearing the GA-KO suit.
Para-Medic: Because it looks cute.
Sigint: Snake, talk some sense into her!
Naked Snake: What's wrong with being cute?
Major Zero: The origins of afternoon tea go back to the Victorian Era. Anna Maria, the seventh Duchess of Bedford, was...
Sigint: From the looks of it, it's fitted with a 100-round drum magazine... and it never runs out of ammo?
Naked Snake: Never.
Sigint: Why's that?
Naked Snake: Because the internal feed mechanism is shaped like an infinity symbol.
Sigint: Ah, I get it. Yep, that'll give you unlimited ammo.
Sigint: You see, Snake, people are just sacks of shit, and they're full of holes.
Naked Snake: EVA, about the contents of the backpack you got for me...
EVA: Is there something missing?
Naked Snake: Yeah, all of my food.
EVA: It wasn't me! All those snakes and crocodiles and suspicious-looking mushrooms... I wouldn't eat that stuff even if you paid me!
Naked Snake: So who was it?
EVA: It was Ocelot.
Naked Snake: Ocelot?
EVA: He said he wanted to eat the same things you did.
Naked Snake: Why would he do that?
EVA: You haven't figured it out?
Naked Snake: No.
EVA: You are dense.
Sigint: Tell me the truth. Did you really get that from The Sorrow?
Naked Snake: Yeah.
Sigint: ...Hell, the major says he's been abducted by a UFO, so why not?
Para-Medic: I think it really does look good. It reminds me of "The Alligator People."
Naked Snake: Oh... the what?
Para-Medic: "The Alligator People." It's a science fiction movie. You've never heard of it?
Naked Snake: No.
Para-Medic: Oh... well you should see it sometime. It's about this guy who gets hurt in a car accident and tries to heal his wounds by injecting himself with a crocodile serum, but then his head turns into a crocodile head. You look just like him with that mask on. That's awesome.
Naked Snake: Right.
Ocelot: It doesn't feel right to kill an unarmed man... but I'll get over it.
The End: [during a long grueling sniper duel vs. Naked Snake] getting tired? This is truly the battle to end all battles!
The Fury: Behold the flames of fury, the fires in hell shall purge me clean!
Ocelot: [to Snake] I hate to disappoint the cobras, but you're mine now!
The End: [as Snake returns to Sokrovenno] Welcome back, Snake! I've been waiting for you...
Solid Snake: This is Snake. I've made it to the sneaking point.
Colonel Campbell: You're right on time, Snake.
Solid Snake: For being dragged out of the sack at two in the morning, I did my best.
Colonel Campbell: Rise and shine. Don't you love mornings!
Solid Snake: Colonel... nobody loves being dragged away from their vacation.
Colonel Campbell: I'm sorry but we needed you. Something big is going down... very big. That's why...
Solid Snake: Alright, so what is this important mission? I'll say it once and only once... I'm not taking out any Metal Gears.
Colonel Campbell: Don't worry.
Solid Snake: And no saving some VIP or old man.
Colonel Campbell: It's nothing like that.
Solid Snake: If it's a hot damsel in distress, I'll think about it.
Colonel Campbell: Well, it's not quite a... hot damsel in distress... but it is a rescue mission.
Solid Snake: Rescuing who?
Colonel Campbell: Apes.
Solid Snake: ...
Colonel Campbell: ...
Solid Snake: What?
Colonel Campbell: Monkeys! But not just any monkeys.
Solid Snake: You said monkeys?
Colonel Campbell: Just listen. Your mission is to infiltrate the jungle and capture all of the monkeys.
Solid Snake: Again, you said monkeys?
Colonel Campbell: Yes, monkeys.
Solid Snake: This isn't really my thing... If you want your monkeys, you better ask Spike or Jimmy.
Colonel Campbell: Unfortunately, they weren't available.
Solid Snake: What about me? I was on vacation!
Colonel Campbell: Snake, we need you. If you don't do this, who will?
Solid Snake: It's not like someone else couldn't handle a stealth mission.
Colonel Campbell: Don't say that. This is the genre we turned over every leaf in.
Solid Snake: Why don't you make Sam or Gabe do the job?
Colonel Campbell: Snake...
Solid Snake: Isn't this just some monkey catching action?
Colonel Campbell: Snake, I'm asking you. It's a request from the Professor himself.
Solid Snake: THE Professor...? Natalie's grandfather?
Solid Snake: That's the one.
Solid Snake: The one who came up with the monkey helmet?
Colonel Campbell: Well, that was the Professor's classmate.
Solid Snake: His classmate?
Colonel Campbell: From high school. Not only that, but the Professor is a friend of Otacon's.
Solid Snake: He's Otacon's friend, too?
Colonel Campbell: It's because of the Professor that Otacon has been able to come up with some of his inventions.
Solid Snake: ...Alright... what are the details?
Colonel Campbell: So you'll do it, great!
Solid Snake: I'm not against some "monkey catching." But I'd rather be collecting pants.
Colonel Campbell: Snake, the monkeys have fled into the jungle. When you find them, knock them out for capture.
Solid Snake: Right. I'm not going to be able to grab them when they are jumping all around the place.
Colonel Campbell: Right. When you've grabbed all of the monkeys, your mission is complete.
Solid Snake: Gotcha. Commencing Operation Ape Snake.
Colonel Campbell: Snake, when you capture a monkey, yell out the password. With the password, a warp device will activate.
Solid Snake: Understood.
Colonel Campbell: Good. I'm counting on you, Snake.
Naked Snake: [upon seeing Volgin and the Shagohod being struck by a bolt of lightning that destroys the Shagohod and kills Volgin] Fried by a bolt of lightning... A fitting end. It's finally over.