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Series cast summary:
 Alice (6 episodes, 2004)
Jamie Theakston ...
 Doug (6 episodes, 2004)
 Ted (6 episodes, 2004)
Debra Stephenson ...
 Kate (6 episodes, 2004)
Jessica McClunie ...
 Sancha (6 episodes, 2004)
 Jason (6 episodes, 2004)
Billy Hill ...
 Joe (5 episodes, 2004)
Jolyon James ...
 Scott (5 episodes, 2004)
Isabel Brook ...
 Rachael (4 episodes, 2004)


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Plot Keywords:

divorce | See All (1) »







Release Date:

23 January 2004 (UK)  »

Also Known As:

Eternal Rectangle  »

Company Credits

Production Co:

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Technical Specs


(6 episodes)

Sound Mix:


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Did You Know?


The theme song is performed by Jamie Theakston and Amanda Holden. See more »

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User Reviews

24 January 2004 | by (Manchester, England) – See all my reviews

Oh Lord please help me! Since having watched this programme I haven't stopped laughing.

Quite heavily trailed on the BBC prior to broadcast. Prime-time position in the Friday night schedule, sandwiched between 'EastEnders', the BBC's top-rated prime soap opera, and a re-run of 'Only Fools and Horses', one of the BBC's most highly rated and watched comedies of all time.

Good Casting. Fantastic performances. Well-structured and clever jokes. Pinpoint comic timing. All of these were sadly lacking. Jamie Theakston- former TV presenter, bondage practitioner and prostitute frequenter (according to the tabloid press) stars along-side former bed-hopping trollop (according to the tabloid press, not me, I've met her and she seemed quite nice) Amanda Holden. The two exhibit all the chemistry of an empty test-tube in a vacuum at absolute zero! If you want to see something far more entertaining and funny starring these two, may I suggest.... err.... The Tabloid Press! The gags were weak and laboured (and when I say 'gags', I believe that was the intention but sadly not the reality!), and poor timing (That's just 'poor timing' and not 'poor comic timing', as there is nothing comic about this programme. The poor timing I refer to is that this programme would better have been broadcast during a period of major transmitter maintenance or a power blackout and not at peak time on a Friday evening.)

Top Tip for whoever commissioned this programme - when commissioning a 'comedy' it is always a good idea to ensure that the said 'comedy' is funny. In the event that the said 'comedy' is not funny, it is by definition not a 'comedy' - q.v. 'Mad About Alice'.

So why have I not stopped laughing since I watched this programme. Quite simple really. I never started!

As an alternative to this programme, you may like to take a trip to your local DIY store, purchase a large tin of emulsion, apply liberally to a surface within your domicile residence, focus upon said surface until such time that the liberally applied emulsion coating is no longer in a liquid state.

Absolutely no stars. 0/10. 0%. And for the benefit of our European viewers, nul points!

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