Lilo & Stitch: The Series (2003–2006)
Wendy Pleakley: I've researched winter Earth holidays like Kwanzaa, Christmas, Chanukah, and the year-end clearance sale at Mendelton's department store.
Lilo: I don't think that last one's a holiday.
Wendy Pleakley: If 50% off everything isn't a holiday, sister, I don't know what is!
Mertle Edmonds: [about Cannonball] Why's he got such a big caboose?
Lilo: Highly contagious butt rabies.
Pleakley: [giving the family an earthquake brief] Now, the important thing is not to panic. Don't panic.
Pleakley: Don't panic! DON'T PANIC!
Jumba: I am thinking... you are panicking.
Pleakley: [after Stitch poured water on him] Now, where was I?
Lilo: You were telling us not to panic while you were panicking.
Nani: All the mail seems to be for you Pleakley. They are all bills!
Pleakley: Bills? What are bills?
Nani: Bills are what you owe when you charge on your 28 credit cards!
Pleakley: Owe? As in... money?
[Pleakley opens an envelope]
Pleakley: Oh my gosh! Is this a balance due or an intergalatic zip code! How could they do this to me? I'm not even a citizen!
Experiment 625: Note to self - Only open mouth to insert sandwiches.
Nani: Are you LOLO?
Lilo: But Pleakley won't be my babysitter anymore!
Nani: You'll still have your uncle Jumba. I'm not going to be Pleakleys fiance!
Lilo: Fine. Jumba passes as a great babysitter! Jumba! Can I play with the chainsaw?
Jumba: Sure! Don't get fingers stuck! Could be messy!
Lilo: Ohana means family. Family means LEAVE ME ALONE WHILE I PRACTICE MY HULA DANCE!
Jumba: Good news, Pleakley, you're not sick!
Pleakley: Thank goodness!
Jumba: You just have a genetic experiment inside you that we need to get out.
Pleakley: Un-thank goodness.
Pleakley: This is supposed to be like one of those painful parting plane scenes from Earth movies.
Jumba: Being with ugly wife already plenty painful.
[Jumba and Peakley in another costume theme]
Pleakley: Don't we look marvelous?
Jumba: Frankly, my dear, I do not give darn.
Nani: I promise to never let work keep me away from you again.
Lilo: Okay! And I promise never to become a fugitive from justice again!
Jumba: Ooooh. I hope it doesn't come here. His impression of ex-wife is very scary!
[lining up to play baseball]
Jumba: Uh, one question: If we win, do losers have to be our slaves for life?
Lilo: Of course not!
Jumba: [shrugs] Is how we play team sports on my home world!
[shopping for a Christmas present]
Nani: Hi, I'm looking for something like a shrunken head...
Store Clerk: Sorry, shrunken heads aren't part of Hawaii's cultural heritage. Try South America.
[after waking up]
Gantu: You LASERED my PATOOKI?
Experiment 625: Ah, I just thought it could use a makeover. Actually, it's an amazing likeness of, ah, moi. You wanna see?
[after blasting into a building and frightening a crowd of people]
Gantu: People of Earth! Do not be alarmed! I am just looking for an abomination!
[after finding sandwiches stored in his experiment containment unit]
Gantu: SANDWICHES? Oh, when I get back, 625 is fin... hmm, bacon and raisin! Just like "Mu-mu" used to make!
Pleakley: Jumba, you're messing up my decorative orbs!
Jumba: Well, you are standing in two of my eyes!
Nani: [rushing into the kitchen after Pleakly mops the floor] WHERE'S LILO?
Pleakley: Well a clean floor was here, but apparently it just left!
Pleakley: [trying to stall an angry crowd] Everyone loves balloon animals!
[holds one up]
Pleakley: See? It's a little... puppy!... with three heads
Hämsterviel: Well? Where is my big bug?
Gantu: I'm afraid the little girl and the abomination...
Hämsterviel: AGAIN? You, with your stomping feet and shooting blasters, cannot get ONE experiment FROM A LITTLE GIRL? Tell me how lame you are! TELL ME!
625: Oh, there's no right answer to that. I'd put it around the "S"s, between "shockingly lame" and "stunningly lame".
Lilo: Every year, Nani hides our Christmas presents. It's my job as a little sister to find them. It's another Hawaiian Christmas tradition!
Pleakley: So you claim to have been sleeping the whole time. Nice alibi. By the way, I'm being sarcastic.
Gantu: Hairball, I am captain ahem, former of the galactic alliance, you will not escape me!
[looks down and sees three boys]
Gantu: I mean I um missed my bus.
Nani: Starving yourself won't bring him back, Lilo.
Lilo: But If I show up at the tea party tomorrow without Mr. Stenchy, they won't be my friends anymore.
Nani: Lilo, if they only liked you because you had a cute pet, then who needs them? You have to trust your real friends.
Lilo: Who would that be?
Nani: Stitch, for one. He's a royal pain, but he's loyal, and he'd never ever ever do anything that would hurt you. Thats a true friend.
Lilo: I know, Stitch is the best. I wouldn't trade him for anything or anybody.
Mertle Edmonds: How could she win? She's so weird, and I'm so normal!
Experiment 625: Hey! You didn't even see my sandwich trap! That took me like one minute to build!
Lilo: I hope our new planet will have this many stars. And a beach with rockin' waves. And fish that eat peanut butter sandwiches.
625: [singing] On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me... A SANDWICH!
Woman: Is the hotel melting?
Man: They'd better give us a discount!
Pleakley: Did I say Time Machine? I meant Rhyme Machine! Helps you bust a funky rhyme! "My name is Pleakley and I got some style, from my dress to my shoes to my bathroom towel!"
Jumba: What are you doing here?
Future Jumba: I have come to give you warning. Whatever you do, do not build robot wife. Is too easy for them to hack into bank account.
Jumba: Little girl! 626!
Tiffany: You know these two?
Tiffany: Well, which is it?
Jumba: Erm... what was the question again?
Lilo: 602's out there, and there's NO WAY to stop it. Kinda like when my sister's eating chocolate!
Nosy: You want I should repeat them?
Pleakley: We can't let her go alone! Hamsterviel is dangerous! And we're baby-sitting!
Jumba: You have a point. Big sister's wrath is more dangerous than Hamsterviel.
Jumba: Two experiments are about to engage in epic battle and I forgot to bring camera.
625: I think I've figured out your problem.
Gantu: Really? What is it?
625: Simple. You're a pathetic loser.
Pleakley: I am now going to make the lighthouse disappear... How you ask? I have absolutely no idea.
Pleakley: Will this hurt?
Jumba: Not to worry. This won't hurt at all.
[Jumba injects Lilo and Stitch into Pleakley's bloodstream]
Pleakley: OWWWW! You said it wouldn't hurt!
Jumba: Is not hurting me.
Pleakley: I think Lilo has learned the importance of being clean. But not too clean! Not overly obsessively clean like some people.
Nani: What are you, an after school special?
Pleakley: Gimme an S! S! Gimme an M! M! Gimme a Y! Y! Gimme a Z! Z! Gimme another Z! Z! Gimme another Y! Y! Gimme an X! X! What does that spell? Smyzzyx!
Pleakley: It means "Kick their butt!" in Slorganac.
Lilo: Do you think that rocked?
Keoni Jameson: Do you think it rocked?
Lilo: Umm... Yeah?
Keoni Jameson: Then I think it rocked!
Lilo: Are you okay?
Keoni Jameson: Do you want me to be okay?
Lilo: Umm... Yeah?
Keoni Jameson: Then I'm okay!
Lilo: You're sure not acting okay.
Pleakley: Has it ever occured to you that there might be a better way to turn evil expirements to good?
Jumba: Better than untested hazardous technology? Impossible, no such thing exists.
Pleakley: Well, Mr. I'm-such-a-super-genius-I-think-I-know-everything-and-never-give-my-roomate-any-credit-even-when-he's-right-especially-about-wearing-white-after-Labor-day...
Lilo: I wish someone smarter than me was playing.
Pleakley: Don't you worry. I stood up all night studying the difference between Argyle and Gargoyle!
Lilo: We're doomed!
Lilo: I'm gonna name him Shoe.
Pleakley: Why? Because his horse-shoe shaped head?
Lilo: No, I just noticed he isn't wearing shoes.
Nani: I just put new batteries in this clock. How is it slow?
Lilo: Stitch set it to Planet Turo time. They're 438 hours behind.
Jumba: Once he even sold my wife for 10 Kweltikwans!
Lilo: That is evil.
Jumba: Yes, but it was smart. She was only worth 5.
Nani: When you're as old as I am, you can stay out late too.
Lilo: But that's about 100 years from now! I can't wait that long!
Nani: Exactly. How old do you think I am?
Lilo: Old enough to have all the fun!
Lilo: Wanna play Battle of the Greek City-States? Stitch and me can be the fierce Spartans, and you can be the decadent Athenians.
Pleakley: Henry VIII was a powerful ruler, even though he had a nasty habit of having his wives beheaded.
Jumba: I am liking this Henry person.
Gantu: [after being berated by Hamsterviel *again*] I hate my life.
Pleakley: Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you... unless they are carved into stone and thrown at you.
Gantu: [625 is trying to eat giant sandwich] You could never fit that thing in your mouth!
Experiment 625: I'm willin' to die tryin'!
Gantu: [after experiment 297 gets away] You could have tried to help me!
Experiment 625: What, and drop all my plushies?
Gantu: [looks from shrinking device to 625] He he he.
Experiment 625: I hate it when you look at me like that.