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Duke Nukem Forever (Video Game 2011) Poster

(2011 Video Game)

Quotes

Duke Nukem: I promised I'd kill you last, I lied!

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[says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter]

Duke Nukem: She wasn't human anymore...

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: Ugh, no! What am I doing?

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[from trailer]

Duke Nukem: I'm looking for some alien toilet to park my bricks. Who's first?

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[from trailer]

Unnamed Man: Man, this thing is really pissed off!

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Duke Nukem: Ohhh. Mmmm. Oooo. Oh, oh yeah, right there. Oh yeah.

The Twins: [Mary Holsom] That was fun! Was it good for you, baby?

[Kate Holsom giggles]

The Twins: [Kate Holsom] What about the game, Duke? Was it any good?

[giggles]

Duke Nukem: Yeah, but after twelve fucking years, it should be!

The Twins: [Mary Holsom] Well, any time you wanna play again, just let us know!

[giggles]

The Twins: [Kate Holsom giggles]

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EDF Voices: [Showing Duke some power armor resembling Master Chief's armor] Duke! We got your green power armor over here and ready to go!

Duke Nukem: Power armor is for pussies!

EDF Voices: Oh... well, okay. Uh... you want a gun instead?

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Duke Nukem: You're one ugly motherfucker!

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Duke Nukem: If it bleeds I can kill it!

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Duke Nukem: Have a taste of my ball!

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[first lines]

Duke Nukem: I'm back, baby!

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Duke Nukem: [pissing] This is taking forever. Time to stop pissing around and get this big guy back into action.

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EDF Voices: [EDF #1] All right, step one! Alpha Team straight up the middle! Blake, flank left! Philips and I head around. That's step two. Step three is... uh... uh...

EDF Voices: [EDF #2] Uh, profit?

EDF Voices: [EDF #1] Right! You ready? One, two...

EDF Voices: [all three together] Break!

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Whiteboard: Operation: Cock Block

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EDF Voices: [EDF #3 to Duke drawing on whiteboard] Hey, check out the red marker. Smells like cherries.

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EDF Voices: [EDF #3 to Duke after he is done drawing on whiteboard] Oh, man! That is... I mean I don't understand any of it, but I bet if I did, that guy over there would still have his arm... and at least one of his balls.

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Father: Excuse me, er... Duke Nukem? Yeah, my kid's a real big fan.

[lowers his voice and pats his son on the back]

Father: Go on and ask him, Jimmy.

Little Jimmy: Mr. Nukem! W-will you sign this for me?

[gives Duke his book "Why I'm So Great"]

Duke Nukem: Sure, kid. But I better not find this on EBay.

[autographs the book]

Little Jimmy: I wanna grow up to be just like you!

Duke Nukem: Take your pills... er, vitamins every day, and you might grow up to be as awesome as me.

Little Jimmy: Wow! Thank you, Mr. Nukem! Wow! He's so cool!

Father: Yeah, I thought he'd be taller.

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[says it after seeing the decapitated corpses of one of the EDF soldiers with collectible weapons in The Hive chapter]

Duke Nukem: Advance team my ass...

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[says it after performing his finishing moves on the Battlelord followed by his repeated punching to the Battlelord's groin]

Duke Nukem: Right in the jewel!

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[says it after seeing Isaac Clarke's helmet near the decapitated corpse in The Hive]

Duke Nukem: That's one "dead space" marine.

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[says it sometimes after opening one of the doors in The Hive chapter]

Duke Nukem: I thought this was exit only.

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[says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall]

Duke Nukem: Got milk?

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[says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall]

Duke Nukem: Sooo wrong, yet, sooo right!

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[says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall]

Duke Nukem: Hmm. Strange silicone-based lifeform.

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[says it sometimes when Duke slaps the three breast on the wall]

Duke Nukem: Time for an examination, ladies!

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[says it at one point when Duke is near the early part of the Crash Course chapter]

Duke Nukem: Well look at that... you can see my dick from here!

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[after defeating the Octotaking in the Generator Room chapter]

Duke Nukem: There can only be one king... you fuck.

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[When Duke faces the Cycloid Emperor in the Final Battle chapter]

Duke Nukem: I'm gonna rip your eye out and piss on your brain, you alien dirtbag!

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[after the end sequence]

Duke Nukem: What kind of shit ending is that? I ain't dead, I'm coming back for more!

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[When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy]

Duke Nukem: King Kong ain't got shit on me!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with melee attacks]

Duke Nukem: Bada Bing!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with melee attacks]

Duke Nukem: Up close and personal.

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy]

Duke Nukem: Oh yeah. It's ass kickin' time!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy]

Duke Nukem: My balls, your face.

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Duke Nukem: [sometimes after killing an Octagon] Take your tentacles back to Japan, you freak!

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Duke Nukem: [using a wrecking ball to break down a wall while killing an enemy in the process] Have a taste of my ball!

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The Twins: [One of the Holsom Twins]

[Sometimes when Duke loses at a game of Pool]

The Twins: Duke, stop playing with your balls!

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[in the beginning of the chapter "Vegas in Ruins"]

Captain Dylan: Duke! Good to fucking see you! I knew that retirement bullshit was just bullshit. Fuck that retirement shit! I just got back from helping my friend "find his wife". Christ, what a fucking pussy! Graves want me to help you jack these motherfuckers up just like old fucking times! Can't wait to pound'em in the cornhole! Hoo-ah!

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Duke Nukem: [losing at pinball] I've got balls of fail!

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Duke Nukem: Quit bleedin', pussy!

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[says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter]

Duke Nukem: Sorry, babe. But it's better this way...

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: Now what? Shit-fingerpainting?

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: What the fuck?

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: What am I, a chimpanzee?

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: What kind of sick motherfucker picks up wet feces?

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: What the hell? No! Come on! No! This is disgusting!

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: A turd in the hand is worth two in the bush.

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: [silently angry at himself] Why am I doing this?

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[says it in the beginning of The Hive: Part 2 chapter after knocking down a webbed corpse]

Duke Nukem: Thanks for hangin' out.

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[When Duke faces the Alien Queen in the Queen Bitch chapter]

Duke Nukem: Baby, you make me wish I had three guns.

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[says it after EDF soldier Leeroy gets killed by an alien attack in Vegas in Ruins chapter]

Duke Nukem: Dammit Leeroy!

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[says it when Duke picks up a Devastator in Crash Course chapter]

Duke Nukem: Double the pleasure!

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[When Duke picks up a piece of poo from the toilet in The Duke Burger chapter which also unlocks the trophy/achievement "Turd Burglar"]

Duke Nukem: Ugh, this is gross! I've got to get rid of this!

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[When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter]

Duke Nukem: Better than feckle-bitches!

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[When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter]

Duke Nukem: You want fries with that?

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[When Duke stomps on a shrunken enemy in Duke Burger chapter]

Duke Nukem: Order up!

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[says it after getting in a monster truck in The Mighty Foot chapter]

Duke Nukem: Fasten your seatbelts. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

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[says it after getting out of his monster truck sunk as it sank into the river in the Dam Top chapter]

Duke Nukem: Aw, and it got such good gas mileage.

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy with a forklift in The Forkstop chapter]

Duke Nukem: Fork you!

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[says it after leaving behind the forklift to proceed to the next area in The Forkstop chapter]

Duke Nukem: Alright. Time to quit 'forkin' around'.

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[says it in the beginning of Underground: Part 2 chapter]

Duke Nukem: This is gonna fuck up my hair.

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy]

Duke Nukem: I'm from Las Vegas and I say "kill'em all!"

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills a Pig Cop]

Duke Nukem: Who wants white meat, huh? Who wants it?

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills a Pig Cop]

Duke Nukem: Pork chop sandwiches!

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[says it sometimes when Duke puts an enslaved woman out of her misery in The Hive chapter]

Duke Nukem: Dammit!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy]

Duke Nukem: When you get to hell, tell'em Duke sent ya!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills a small alien]

Duke Nukem: You're spent!

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[says it sometimes when Duke kills an enemy]

Duke Nukem: Douche!

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[says it sometimes when Duke breaks open an EDF item crate]

Duke Nukem: I'm gonna ninja this!

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[says it sometimes when Duke breaks open an EDF item crate]

Duke Nukem: Oh yeah! More equipment means more "ass kickin'"!

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[says it sometimes when Duke picks up a rat and kills it by squishing it]

Duke Nukem: See you later, Mickey!

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[Duke is defending the Holsom sisters from aliens]

[Mary Holsom]

The Twins: Oh dear God! I promise never to do anything naughty ever again!

The Twins: [Kate Holsom] Hello, don't say that! Duke will never save us if he hears you promise that!

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Clarke: Now we can cause some damage!

McReady: You don't say "cause some damage" around Duke Nukem, man... you say we're gonna go bust some balls or tear shit up or something like that.

Clarke: Oh, um, right, ah... LET'S RUPTURE SOME SPLEENS TOGETHER!

McReady: Why are you such a douche?

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[last lines]

Reporter: Duke, now that the aliens are dead and you've saved the world once again, uh... what are you going to do?

Duke Nukem: I'm gonna run for President. Hail to the king, baby!

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Duke Nukem: I'm gonna kill you, old style.

[Reference to old Ventrilo Harassment video]

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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