Guardian of the Realm (2004)

User Rating:

4.2/10   

Director:

'Evil' Ted Smith

Writers:

'Evil' Ted Smith (writer)
Wyatt Weed (writer)

Release Date:

3 November 2006 (Japan)

Genre:

Sci-Fi | Horror | Thriller

Tagline:

There's bad blood between good and evil.

Plot:

Two demon hunters race to save the human race after an a cult accidentally releases a particularly dangerous demon. |

Plot Keywords:

Lifting Person In Air

Cast

Glen Levy	...	Josh Griffin
Tanya Dempsey	...	Alex Marlowe
Lana Piryan	...	Nikki
Tom Seymour	...	Bannon
Chris Sheets	...	Gordon
Tracy Erickson	...	Ruby
Ronald Quigley	...	Chief
Stephanie Kane	...	Lisa
Robin Raedeke	...	Max
Natalie Khoury	...	Jackie
Heather Chase	...	Debbie (as Heather Ashley)
Meagan Mangum	...	Goth Girl
Isis McKenzie	...	Valerie
A. Brent Carlson	...	Nathan (as Brent Carlson)
Al Zequiera	...	Cult Leader (as Al Z)

Runtime:

Japan:111 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Certification:

Germany:18 | Singapore:M18

Filming Locations:

Los Angeles, California, USA

Company:

Pirate Pictures

Don't see Guardian for what it is, see it for what it's not

to say this movie is bad is an understatement. Guardian represents everything that's possible to be wrong with a movie, that's also its sole redeeming quality. The reason I gave this movie it's single star (aside from the fact that there is no option to put 0 stars) is because it has certain educational purpose. Robert Altman, when asked which movies influenced him the most, said: "the movies I hated the most," he'd see a film and think "I'll never make a movie like that." That's the case with Guardian. Watching it makes you understand how and why a movie can be bad (or oh-my-god-it-burns-my-eye bad in this instance). There is not single aspect I can start you off with, it's bad globally: every line is a cliché stolen from Buffy, Blade, or some other B vampire movie (and the ending is a word-for-word rip off from the first Blade -- I can't spoil the movie with this, it hits the bottom on the first line); the image is terrible, either they used magnifying glass for a lens or rented a wrong camcorder, because this is not shot on film with an HDCAM, not even on HDV or DVX from the looks of it; the cinematography is ...well, I don't think they thought about lighting; the set pieces and the makeup is admirably expensive for such a low budget, but the actors wearing the suits couldn't act their way out of a noose on the day of their sentence.

At first I actually thought I was watching a rerun of a Buffy episode, but then I realized that even Buffy wasn't that bad (and there weren't any commercials!). I watched further and I couldn't believe it was on a premium channel, on cable! But seeing this piece of s$@t make it this far, I now know that any film can find distribution...