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Ultrachrist! (2003)
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Overview
User Rating:
Tagline:
Get ready for a whole new Christ!! morePlot:
What would Jesus do if he returned to Earth and discovered he could no longer relate to the youth of today? full summary | add synopsisAwards:
2 wins moreUser Comments:
The second Second Coming comes with laughs moreCast
(Credited cast) | Jonathan C. Green | ... | Jesus / Ultrachrist |
 | Celia A. Montgomery | ... | Molly |
 | Samuel Bruce Campbell | ... | Parks Commissioner A.C. Meany |
| Dara Shindler | ... | Jada Jennsen |
| Jordan Hoffman | ... | Archangel Ira |
 | Danielle Langlois | ... | Jane |
| Samantha Dark | ... | Paula |
| Nathaniel Graves | ... | Tommy |
| rest of cast listed alphabetically: | |||
| Rana Lee Araneta | ... | Pool Player #2 |
 | Amanda Bernen | ... | Meany's Masseuse |
| Jonathan Bloom | ... | Local Sinner |
| Patrick Brennan | ... | Perverted Cheer Fan (voice) |
| Tian Chen | ... | Local Sinner |
| Bob Cohen | ... | Marty |
| Elizabeth Cooper | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| Don Creech | ... | God the Father |
| Dan Cross | ... | Local Sinner |
| Tara Cullen | ... | 'For a Good Time Call' Girl |
| Jen Deaderick | ... | Local Hypocrite |
| Marcy Dermansky | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| Kerry Douglas Dye | ... | Lesser Angel (as Eladio Von Neumann-Phoc) |
| Ann Farrell | ... | Scandalized Nun |
| Jurgen Fauth | ... | Richard Nixon (as Dr. Jurgen Fauth) |
| Kim Gatewood | ... | Drunk Girl #1 |
| Jessica Goring | ... | Wireless Operatrix (voice) |
| Marty Grillo | ... | Murray Klein |
| Rob Haussman | ... | Yo Mama Osama |
| Stefan Helmreich | ... | Local Hypocrite |
| Sunny Hong | ... | Kid With Candy Bar |
| Sky Hosoya | ... | Dominatrix |
| Jen MacNeil | ... | Madame / Cheerleader / Extra Voices (voice) |
| Ryan V. McCallum | ... | Jim Morrison |
| Mary McCarthy | ... | Murray's Wife |
| Blaise Michaels | ... | Mme. Tushka's Girl #2 |
| Steve Montague | ... | Adolph Hitler |
 | Kristen Moser | ... | Pro-Jesus Interviewee |
| Edmund Mullins | ... | Wrestling Fan (as Edmund Eugene Mullins III) |
| Leila Nelson | ... | Leila |
| Kimberly A. Nowaczyk | ... | Local Sinner |
| Heather Paxon | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| Samantha Pelosi | ... | Girl Who Wants Ice Cream |
| Josh Pelzek | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| R.T. Pierce | ... | Pool Player #1 |
| Jamie Rabinaw | ... | Wrestling Fan (as Jamie Lisa Rabinaw) |
| Amber Ray | ... | Wrestling Card Girl |
| Bryan Riss | ... | Bummed-Out Rabbi |
| Darrill Rosen | ... | Anti-Jesus Interviewee |
| Jason Rozger | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| James Ruchala | ... | Banjo Player |
| Laura Ruchala | ... | Girl in Alley |
| Pete Ruppert | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| John Schmit | ... | Local Hypocrite |
| Shappy Seasholtz | ... | Wrestling Announcer |
| Milind Shah | ... | Wrestling Fan |
| Jennifer Simonds | ... | Local Sinner |
| Ruth Singleton | ... | Wrestling Fan |
 | Caroline Whitney Smith | ... | Drunk Girl #2 |
| Denise Stockman | ... | Local Hypocrite |
| Michael R. Thomas | ... | Vlad the Impaler |
| Noah Timan | ... | Enlightened One (as Noah Vivekanand Timan) |
 | Mike Urdaneta | ... | Purty Lady Interviewee |
| Vanessa Vetrini | ... | Haggard Mother |
| Ashley Yeater | ... | Mme. Tushka's Girl #1 |
| Sim Xai Ying | ... | Times Square Cartoonist |
Additional Details
Parents Guide:
Add content advisory for parentsRuntime:
USA:92 minCountry:
USALanguage:
EnglishColor:
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Trivia:
Has over 40 speaking roles and over 30 locations, including Times Square. moreQuotes:
Jada Jennsen: You're getting really high 'zzzzzzz' on our Buzz-ometer. What are some of your hobbies?Jesus/Ultrachrist!: Contrition. And, you know, working with wood?
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A New Pro-Sex Kinda Savior moreFAQ
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Just a couple of years after Jesus Christ VAMPIRE HUNTER comes ULTRACHRIST, which features another superhero Lord (I know what you're thinking, that one waits for a millennium without seeing even one, and now...) this time He's complete with Spandex outfit, hilariously reminiscent of Monty Python's famous Bicycle Repair Man. Christ returns to earth, Terminator-like, to start His second ministry and promptly moves in with two lipstick lesbians as a base for His low key, but gormlessly naive operations. Meanwhile His old adversary, now running the city's Park Department and local drugs cartel, sends out adversaries - choosing the most evil figures in history (being Adolf Hitler, Vlad the Impaler, Richard Nixon and, er, Jim Morrison, naturally enough) against Him. Elsewhere, in a pizza parlour in Heaven, God Himself is mightily annoyed at developments and sends an emissary (the Archangel Ira, the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Erotic Massage) to strip Jesus of His Spandex and thereby reduce the Almighty's embarrassment..
More deftly put together than JCVH, but without the endearingly loopy songs or pastiche kung fu, ULTRACHRIST is just as low budget while still being amusing, and just as essential viewing by way of a further addition to this growing, peculiar mini genre of Christ as crime fighter. As Jesus, Jonathan C Green is perhaps more believable than the previous filmic resurrection ("The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!" he opines), and has more charm of presence, but believability is hardly a key issue here. My favourite bad taste moment is when Jesus' stigmata, after he's excited, ejaculates blood all over his wannabe girlfriend's blouse...