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Dead & Breakfast (2004) Poster

Quotes

Mullet Man: That frog, he wasn't liked much around here, covering up the true nature of food with his special sauces and whatnot.

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Johnny: "Lovelock?" Where the hell is Lovelock?

Christian: Lovecock? Johnny, that's your hometown, isn't it? You love cock.

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Randall Keith Randall: [chorus of song in closing credits] Well, this used to be such a quiet little town / We never had too much trouble around here / Until that spirit was released / And we were haunted by the deceased / And now there's all this crazy shit that's going down here.

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Sara: What are they doing?

David: They're dancing!

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The Sheriff: Now, hold it there, Doc. How can we be sure you ain't possessed? I mean, hell, I just shot you and you're still standing.

Doc Riley: Ah, well, you ain't got me but on my shoulder.

The Sheriff: I guess that makes sense. All right, why don't you tell me who won last year's annual cow chip throwing contest.

Doc Riley: What?

The Sheriff: You heard me. If it is really you, you'd know.

Doc Riley: Well, shoot, sheriff, that's kinda a trick question 'cause Lovelock ain't never had an annual cow chip throwing contest. Uh-huh. It alternates every year with the greasy pig catching competition.

The Sheriff: Ah, he's okay. All right, Doc, get your ass over here.

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Johnny: Welcome to our world, Davy.

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David: Had I known it was going to feel this good to bash your brains in I would have done it a long time ago.

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Lisa Belmont: Well, you mind telling me what in the Sam Hill is going on around here?

The Drifter: I don't think you would believe me if I told you.

Lisa Belmont: Friend, after what I've seen tonight you could tell me an evil spirit rose up from the dead and decided to posses the entire town and I would believe you.

[the Drifter and Melody look at each other; Lisa rolls her eyes]

Lisa Belmont: Well, any of you all know how to stop it?

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Lisa Belmont: I would love to go with, you all, but I've got to stay here and protect the records. It's my job.

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Johnny: A little late for heroics, don't you think?

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Johnny: [with an arrow sticking through his chest] Melody! I'm surprised at you. Aren't you supposed to be all spiritual and non-violent?

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Melody: Are you... you?

Sara: I'm not sure. But I'm sure as shit not one of them.

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The Sheriff: Well! Ain't you about as handy as a pocket on a shirt.

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Chef Henri: [after catching one of the guys taking urinating in the yard] Don't ever let me catch your dick in my bush again!

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Johnny: Let's ask our new friend Christian what we he thinks...

Johnny: [using Christian's head as a hand puppet] Well... I think we should...

Johnny: [talking to Christian's head] SHUT THE FUCK UP!

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[strangling the Skanky Chick]

Bar Patron: Die, Skanky Chick, die!

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Kate: Do you know how long we've been dating?

David: You're kidding, right?

Kate: I'm asking you a question!

David: And you think this is the right time to ask a question like that?

Kate: [laughs] there's always some excuse for not wanting to talk about these things.

David: I think defending ourselves from a demon spirit that's now inhabiting your best friend's cousin ranks pretty damn high on the list of good excuses for not wanting to analyze our relationship right now. Could-could you hand me that loaded pipe so I can take care of this tall freak with the ax that's coming up the steps?

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Sara: It's like a bad horror movie!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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