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738 out of 952 people found the following review useful:

When egos meet

Author: (andrewwastie) from Melbourne, Australia
22 December 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

George : Hey guys, remember that movie we all did a few years back called Ocean's Eleven?

Brad : Course we do, we had such a great time.

Julia : And let's not forget we made stacks of money on it. It was a hit!

George : Well here's an idea….Let's make a sequel!

Matt : Fantastic idea! I mean the first one had all of us in it but most of all it was directed, had cool music, had lots of us in it and had a great script.

Brad : The script? Oh yeah, the script, whatever.

Julia : Let's do it. Everyone will love seeing us mugging it up on the screen. Steven Soderbergh's a friend of mine so he'll love directing us again.

George : Yeah, he'll do it. He won't have to work too hard though because it's got us in it. In fact he can just stuff around and experiment with all sorts of stupid camera angles.

Matt : Won't that just confuse the audience and make them dizzy?

George : Stuff that! Just so long as everyone can make out it's us up there on the screen they'll love it!

Matt : And the music??

Brad : Pfft! Music? No one goes to the movies for music. They want to see stars. Like us! Let's just have any old stupid music for this one.

Matt : That's fine. What about the script?

Brad : What is it with you and the script? Hey here's an idea. Julia, you're so famous and wonderful…

Julia : So are you Brad.

Brad : Thanks Julia. What I was saying was how about we have an entire sequence where your character pretends to be you! Everyone knows you're fantastic so they'll love it!

Matt : Great idea Brad. How do we fit that into the script?

George : Who cares??? It's Julia! Everyone will love it!

Julia : OK. How about we get someone else as famous and wonderful as us to join in the cast? The audience will love that.

George : Yeah, let's get Bruce Willis in a pointless uncredited cameo. He's never been too fussy about what movies he's made before. He's bound to say yes.

Matt : How do we fit him into the script?

George : Who cares??? It's Bruce Willis. Everyone will love it!

Julia : OK, who else?

Brad : I'm way ahead of you here, Julia. I've got a famous wife so let's get someone who is famous and wonderful, with a famous husband and who they audience will love if they see her and I having a romantic scene.

All : Catherine Zeta Jones!

George : I'll call her and see.

(Ring Ring)

Catherine : Hello. George : Hi Catherine, George Clooney here. You might remember working with me in Intolerable Cruelty…the audience loved it!

Catherine : Hi George. What's up?

George : We're making a sequel to Ocean's Eleven. It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt in it. How'd you like to be in it too?

Catherine : Yeah sure. What's it about?

George : Who cares?? It's got me and Brad and Julia and Matt and you in it!!

Catherine : OK. But how about we film it in Europe? The audience will love that!

George : It's a deal. See ya.

Catherine : Bye

Julia : So how'd it go?

George : She's in AND she had a great idea. She reckons we could film it somewhere in Europe.

Brad : Fantastic!

Matt : So how does that fit into the script?

Julia : Who cares about the script!! It's got us in it! And anyone who liked Ocean's Eleven will get sucked into seeing it and by then it's too late for them to worry about the script because they've already paid their money.

George : And besides they'll love it because it's got me and Julia and Matt and Brad AND Catherine in it AND it will be filmed in Europe. Everyone will love it!

Matt : Great. Let's do it!!

……you get the idea.

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588 out of 785 people found the following review useful:


Author: goodale69 from So Cal, Cali
13 December 2004

Great actors, beautiful European scenery, funny lines, witty banter, nice camera work, what could go wrong? ... The plot. When I saw that 27% of the people gave this movie a 10 rating, I wondered if I was the slow one. Then I read the reviews.

When most of the stars started appearing on talk shows, trying to convey the buddy buddy tomfoolery that went on behind the scenes, I kind of sensed that damage control was underway. There was a moment in this movie where a few of the actors were sitting at a table talking complete gibberish, and it was later joked that they pulled a "lost in translation". I guess the joke was on me the viewer.

What rolled along as a pretty good movie slowly gathering steam, stalled into chaotic incomprehensive mess. If you loved the first movie because it developed into a brilliantly masterminded theft with many twists, you be left with the empty feeling that the only thing that was lifted in this movie; was your money for the admission ticket.

It is too late for me now, but you still have a chance.

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425 out of 682 people found the following review useful:


Author: patrickjw from Earth
14 December 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Simply put, this is a boring movie. The strength of Ocean's 11 was that it started at point A and it ended at point B, and it did so in a convincing and entertaining matter and threw in a believable plot twist at the end. It was very simply and straightforward.

Ocean's 12 is nothing like this. The film is in desperate need of a better editor, as it is so bloated and ponderous that towards the middle of the film, if you've even managed to keep track of who's stealing what from whom and why they're doing it, you won't even care any more. You'll just be begging for the ending.

The film is filled with bizarre camera angles, such as a shot of an incoming airplane that for some inconceivable reason is filmed sideways. There are also some VERY bizarre scenes, such as a scene where Julia Robert's character has to pretend to be Julia Roberts, and a thief break-dances through lasers.

However, the biggest flaw of the movie is the absence of a good heist scene. The heist in Ocean's 11 was masterful, and there is nothing in this film that even comes close. I didn't go to see this movie to watch a cop get reunited with her father who happens to be a master thief, I went to see a team of funny people go up against the odds to steal a lot of money.

Bottom line: You will hate this movie. Don't waste your money on it.

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248 out of 358 people found the following review useful:

Leaves you pining for '11'

Author: Sweet_Ophelia from Australia
11 December 2004

Three years ago Danny Ocean (Clooney) and his team stole 160 million dollars from Terry Benedict (Garcia). Now Benedict wants his money back. Plus interest. Thus Ocean and his crew must scramble together what they owe; too hot to work in America, they set their sights on Amsterdam.... where, not so coincidently, Rusty Ryan (Pitt) has an ex-love (Zeta-Jones) who just so happens to be head of police and hot on their trail. But Benedict and sexy cop Isabel Lahiri (Zeta-Jones) aren't the crew's only problem. Another thief under the alias of "nightfox" ( Vincent Cassel) is keen to battle it out with Ocean and his team; to decide who the best thief (or thieves) are.

And there you have Ocean's 12; a film which falls too short in terms of wit, appearance, plot... and pretty much everything else in comparison to the original Ocean's 11.

One thing must be made clear, however; the cast is great. Spectacular really. There is a definite and rare chemistry between everyone; even Catherina Zeta-Jones, newcomer to the Soderbergh film. And it is indeed very rare to jam-pack a film with so many big name celebs without the film being ruined by too much star power and not enough of anything else. And these films do indeed have A lot of Hollywood star power in them; Julia Roberts, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Catherina Zeta Jones, Bernie Mac, Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle... just to name the biggest names. And watching Ocean's 11, you can tell that the crew enjoyed making this film. Unfortunately, the audience may not gain the same pleasure as the actors did....

If you were like me, absolutely blown away by the chic and jazzy first film, then Ocean's 12 will be a disappointment. The first movie was simply 'classy'. All of the shots, every single take, camera angles were all very clean-cut, solid and very stylish. In this film however, Soderbergh decides to use the currently popular 'shaky cam' technique for some scenes. I can understand why. In this film, unlike the first one, the crew haven't had time to plan to perfection their 'pull'. In this film its a mad rush to meet Benedict's deadline and I suppose Soderbergh wanted to get that rashness and disorientation across. But it wrecks the film. He really should have stuck to his original idea of having it all snazzy, bold and clean. Plus it is confusing when the film snaps between past and present to explain how the crew made some of their robberies; it looks messy and ugly to change between shaky cam to the bolder scenes.

Secondly, the laughs are fewer in 12 and the script is duller. Ocean's 11 had a quick-wit and many a memorable line. Ocean's 12 has to sink so low as to throw in an age joke for Clooney; "Do i look 50?". The plot is predictable; from Julia Robert's 'impersonation' to the crew's great escape. It's all very blunt and can be spotted a mile away. And the summing up of the 'pull' is a little confusing; past tense (there's that shaky cam again!). I cant give too much away but my personal opinion is that the explanation of how the team pulled of the robbery is a little confusing and a sort of "huh"? moment which you will need to disucss with other's who have seen the film, to make sure you absolutely understood everything.

All in all the film is a let down. By all means go and see it; if for no other reason than to drool over the gorgeous Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney.... But do not get your hopes up. As the credits roll you will find yourself feeling cheated somehow. Ocean's 11 was a real gem but Ocean's 12 just leaves you pining for the original.... 5.5/10

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300 out of 478 people found the following review useful:

That's IT? No, really, that's IT?!

Author: Scott Strandberg ( from Oklahoma
11 December 2004

I had very high hopes walking into this movie. After all, Ocean's 11 was a truly great Hollywood product. Its rapid-fire jokes, incredible star power and tight script made it one of the most fun caper films I have ever seen. Of course, with all the money it made, a sequel was on the way, and I, for one, was excited.

Needless to say, I was absolutely blown away by this movie. Blown away by how horribly wrong things can go. This movie had everything going for it; the return of the entire original cast, the same director, news stories of crazy on- and off-set antics. How could it possibly have gone so wrong?

It starts immediately with one of the most awkward and unnecessary opening sequences ever and goes downhill from there. After reasonably goofy short scenes between Pitt/Zeta-Jones and Clooney/Roberts, the film spends several minutes watching Andy Garcia waltz from scene to scene, telling each individual member of Danny Ocean's original eleven that he wants his money back. Believe me when I say that these scenes are only here to pad Andy Garcia's running time, because without these ridiculously awkward shots, his screen time would be WELL under five minutes.

This leads me to another major qualm I had with this film. The pacing is so uneven that characters are dropped completely from the story, and only sometimes brought back later. Bernie Mac's character is dropped from the script early on, and never comes back except for 2 short scenes with no dialogue. Garcia appears for the first few minutes, and returns for an exceptionally brief scene at the end. Roberts shows up for about 5 minutes at the beginning, and isn't even mentioned again until there's about 20-25 minutes left. Even Clooney himself spends a large chunk of the film in prison.

This would all be excusable if the film was funny. At all. 90% of the jokes fall completely flat and the ones that do work are worth a chuckle at best. The "plot" is undeniably worthless, and left me feeling cheated. At one point in the film, the team takes on a job worth $2.5 million of the nearly $100 million they need to raise before Garcia's two-week deadline. Several characters even acknowledge how absurd wasting the time to do this job is, but they do it anyway! Over 30 minutes of the film revolve around this job that they shouldn't even be doing, and one gets the feeling that this part of the plot was simply added to pad the running time. Furthermore, the equipment they use to pull this job off CLEARLY cost millions upon millions to fund. Just wait until you see what they do to pull this job and realize it would cost far more than $2.5 million to pull off. Obviously, because of this, they have to pull off several jobs to make the money. The beauty of the first film was the one big con and how ingeniously and intricately it was pulled off. Here, they pull so many jobs, in so many different ways, that they rush through all of them because to explain them would make the film several hours long.

We all know walking into this film that there will be a big twist at the end. Thus is the nature of the caper film. The twist at the end of Ocean's Twelve made me laugh; not because it was funny, but because I couldn't believe how cheated I felt. I won't give it away, because I know most of you will be foolish enough to throw down the money to see this movie anyway.

What I will say is that it makes most of the 2 hours you have sat through already completely irrelevant.

I was excited to see this film, after absolutely adoring Ocean's 11. I left the theater feeling like I had been the victim of a truly great con pulled by the cast and crew of this movie in tricking me into thinking that this movie would actually be worth watching. I have never given a 1 to a movie on, but there's a first time for everything. Consider yourselves warned....1/10

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135 out of 175 people found the following review useful:

I'd might expect this crap from this cast...but from Soderbergh?

Author: Christopher Liston from Medford, MA
12 December 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Every James Bond movie has its own set of rules. Just like every Indiana Jones movie has ITS own set of rules. And the fact that screenwriters don't break these rules maintains the integrity of the characters. With a completely unnecessary plot twist, the integrity of both Ocean films plummets somewhere between Airplane 2 and a Roadrunner cartoon.

Imagine what would happen, while teetering on the rope bridge outside of the Temple of Doom, if Indy told Shorty and Willie not to worry because throughout the entire first two movies he's secretly had super powers and can fly them both to safety.

Entertaining? Sure, for a Roadrunner cartoon. But Spielberg would never have done that because it would have destroyed the integrity of the film. More importantly, it would have ANGERED the audience. They'd already sat on the edge of their seats through 3 hours worth of Indiana Jones movies and they were counting on Indiana to get them off that bridge in a believable way. If he were to fly off? People would have walked out of the theaters the same way people did during Ocean's 12.


1. Julia Roberts'character, Tess, infiltrates a museum by disguising herself as...Julia Roberts?!? A clever twist? By breaking the fourth wall three hours after we've been introduced to these characters? Is this the Naked Gun 33 and 1/3? It's a textbook example of how a cheap laugh can ruin an entire film. But wait...just in case you haven't walked out yet...

2. The suspense builds throughout the last hour of the movie -- how will they pull off the heist -- there are only 10...8...5...2 DAYS LEFT! And then in the last 12 minutes of the film, the ONLY entertaining part of this movie, we see that the heist was made days earlier and took Matt Damon all of 30 seconds to pull off. The past 10 days? A complete waste of your time.

BACK TO INDIANA JONES ON THE ROPE BRIDGE..."Just relax, Willie! I stole the REAL stones back about a month ago! Besides, I convinced them you were Kate Capshaw!"

If you haven't already seen it, cut your losses and go see the Polar Express. I don't want to ruin the ending for you, but there really is a Santa Claus. Most importantly, you won't feel cheated leaving the theater.

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121 out of 164 people found the following review useful:

The Ultimate Heist Movie-- *I* was Robbed!

Author: katmarsen from Austin, Texas
11 December 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

SPOILER!! Terrible camera work, horrible writing, non-existent plot, and numerous plot wholes. Wonderful acting! Except for Julia Roberts. Who poorly plays someone who is impersonating Julia Roberts, poorly. Catherine Zeta Jones is adorable in this movie.

During the movie, we repeatedly zoom in, on each of the twelve (!) characters. Twelve is too many, even for a classic like 12 Angry Men. And the problem is, we tediously zoom in on the characters, when all of them are in the same room, doing the same thing.

Yep, Clooney's eating. Yep, Pitt's eating. Yep, the "Jew" is eating. Yep, the geek is eating. Yep, the bodybuilder's eating. Yep, Mr. Sensitive is eating. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep--Yep. Yep. Phew! This happens at least three other times in the movie. Yep, they're all sitting in cars, bored. Yep, they're all getting arrested, frightened. Yep, they're all being led out of a jail, depressed.

But it wasn't until I was home that I realized how badly they'd "got" me on this one. This is a heist movie, right? That's what I went to see, right? But when I walked in and set my car keys in the change jar, only then I realized: NOTHING WAS ACTUALLY STOLEN IN THIS MOVIE! That's right. It's a heist movie, where nothing gets stolen. Oh, they try. They go to try and steal some boring document or something, from some guy's house (whatever), and it turns out it's already been stolen. 20 minutes of my life, wasted. Then they try to steal some egg from some museum (YAWN!), and they screw that up and get arrested.

Then we see how some fairy french guy stole the egg even before they did, and we get all the joy of "Entrapment", except this time the person inside the tight catsuit dancing around the fake lasers is... an ugly skinny french guy. Um.

But it turns out he didn't actually steal the egg either. Actually, our heroes stole the egg, LOOOONG ago, in another movie entirely, which would have been a GREAT movie to watch, had they made that movie.

Instead we see a 30 second clip in black-and-white about how they robbed some college student of his back-pack. You heard me... the daring caper, the ultimate heist-- the buildup of this 2 and a half hours of utter boring crap-- is them stealing a back-pack from a college student, by creatively getting into a fight over baseball teams and distracting him, and replacing his back-pack with an identical back-pack? What??

Ugh. I'm telling you, this was so bad, I didn't even realize just how bad it was-- just how badly I'd been robbed-- until I got home.

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196 out of 324 people found the following review useful:

a mistake

Author: Special-K88
18 December 2004

Three years after Ocean's Eleven the gang's all back for more in this sequel. This time around the elusive group of thieves and con artists reunite and travel abroad to Europe to pull off another elaborate heist after vengeful casino mogul Terry Benedict (Garcia) tracks them down looking for reimbursement. Little do they dream that they'll face stiff competition from a self-proclaimed criminal mastermind (Cassel) who's determined to try and upstage them. The latest in a long line of tepid Hollywood sequels; the cast may have had fun making this film but that doesn't mean the audience will as it drags on for over two hours with endless story lulls, self-conscious humor, and banal dialogue. One particularly embarrassing in-joke falls flat and leaves you wondering just how desperate the producers were to earn cheap laughs. The same group of gifted actors that made the original so special are wasted here, as the needlessly convoluted 'script' lacks any wit, style, or sense of purpose. **

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119 out of 189 people found the following review useful:

Neither awful nor amazing...

Author: NiGe2011 from Syracuse, NY
13 December 2004

I went into 'Oceans 12' as being a big fan of the first installment, but my hopes were not astronomical. And for the two or so hours that I watched the movie, I was not disappointed. However, I cannot say that I enjoyed it nearly as much as I had enjoyed 'Oceans 11'.

'Oceans 12' was a very fun, but at the same time flawed, movie. The movie was every film students dream come true, full of indie style camera and editing tricks from beginning to end. But this could not hide the fact that at its core it was still a studio movie. The storyline was entertaining and full of just as many twists and turns as had graced the first one. However, when the final credits rolled I could not help but wonder about some of the loose ends (and there were many). It almost felt as though the scriptwriter had too many ideas that really did not fit with one another, but he threw them in anyway. At times it could be a little frustrating and leave you wondering why they even showed the last ten minutes of the movie.

By far the strong suit of the film was the cast and their generally above par performances. Brad Pitt was excellent again, and Matt Damon was probably even better then he had been in '11'. The rest of the gang was about as they had been previously, with the possible exception of Shaobo Qin whom I felt was even funnier this time around. Catherine Zeta Jones turned out to be a welcome addition and she fit right in with the movies flow as Pitt's love interest. She perhaps looked the most comfortable in her role out of all of them, despite the fact that it was her first hand in the series.

All in all, I was pleased that I had spent the eight dollars to go and see this the day that it opened. But by the same token, I doubt I will be purchasing it when it appears on DVD.

My Overall Rating: 6 1/2 out of 10

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106 out of 169 people found the following review useful:

Ocean's Twelve: 6/10

Author: movieguy1021 ( from Anywhere, USA
15 December 2004

It's inevitable, isn't it? After the success of the remake of Ocean's Eleven, out comes the sequel three years later. I liked the style of the teaser trailer (and was probably one of the only ones who didn't mind the name), so naturally, I was looking forward to the movie. Naturally, it's a sequel, so it's inferior to the original (which I liked more than the original of the original). The entire cast is back (plus one more, obviously) for the necessary foreign-country locations and trendy scene transitions. There's the constant music, the people with the general European accents (well, villains), and every other caper movie cliché in the books.

Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his eleven/twelve compadres are forced to pay back the money that they stole from Terry Benedict's (Andy Garcia) casinos three years earlier. To get the money, they have to steal it in Europe.

Where the first movie was fun, this sequel was mildly entertaining. It went on a little long, but was never boring. It's watchable (as all crime movies like these should be), but not really entertaining. I wasn't having fun while watching a lot of Ocean's Twelve. I wasn't bored, either. I was in Limbo of the movie world. All of the Vegas glitz added to the first, and here it's drab European backgrounds. Steven Soderbergh's directing also makes the film harder to enjoy. The film's choppy-we don't see events that happened until after the fact (if that makes any sense), and there are so many subplots and characters with similar sounding names that eventually we stop caring. Whenever a movie makes me do that, I usually focus more in on the fun aspects of the movie. And sure, the movie had its fun moments, and never left me bored, but overall, it just lacked that ultra-cool style that the first one had.

Then again, every actor's back in cool form. Catherine Zeta-Jones is the newbie here, and although her character is barely defined, she still manages to be cool. George Clooney, Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt (being on screen probably more than anyone else), Matt Damon-they're all cool. But it's obvious that this isn't the best sequel that could have been made for Ocean's Eleven-the movie was originally written for a completely different movie, and then readapted to a sequel. Because of that, there aren't really any reminders on who these people were. I remembered Clooney, Roberts, Garcia, and a few character names and quirks (such as Pitt's obsessive eating), but, really, who were these people? Did Soderbergh think that we would all rush out to see the first one before seeing this? I'll bet as many people did that as the number who went to see the Russian Solyaris after Soderbergh made Solaris.

The caper this time around isn't as interesting (the major one doesn't come in until halfway through), nor as easy to follow. In fact, the whole movie's basically a convoluted mess. The subplot about Isabel's father, things like that...if there's a definition of worthless, that's it. Also, that "Julia Roberts" bit went on for too long. We got the joke there. At that moment, I think that the movie thought it was funny enough to abandon basically the entire plot and go with a ten minute schtick, when there was basically no other humor in the movie. Still, Ocean's Twelve isn't terrible, and can offer a good time if you're the right person.

My rating: 6/10 Rated PG-13 for language.

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