Ocean's Twelve

This time the con is on the fans! This sequel is specifically made to make easy money and guess what it comes from you! no thought has gone into cooking up a story -no thought has gone into attempting to give any type of direction or even editing - just a bunch of superstar smarty pants have got together to figure out how much their star power can get them in their spare time. Of course since die-hard fans of Oceans 11 (such as myself) will have to see this movie even if it is to just believe how bad it really is its a no brainer for the producers to dish any hogwash onto our plates - its a well thought of commercial strategy but very cold blooded and callous on the fans. Its extremely painful to sit through - the best performance is by Matt Damon in one particular scene which is the highest point the movie ever reaches -I hope they make an Oceans 13 and really think of a nice story this time around as a sort of apology for their bad behavior this time - or bring out an apology to all the fans they conned!

I went to this movie, not expecting much. Actually I didn't even intend to go, since I thought it would be a crap movie, but you know how it is when a friend of yours wants to go to the movies with you. SOmetimes it's just hard to pick a movie. I had coincidentally seen quite a few cinematic releases recently, he doesn't like Jim Carrey (Series of unfortunate Events) and the rest of the films are even more unappealing than Ocean's Twelve (Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, Alexander, The Grudge or some stupid dutch film like Floris). What do you do then? You settle for the lesser evil: Ocean's Twelve! Finally when you go to the cinema with expectations that low, you sometimes are surprised at how good the film actually is. Too bad Ocean's Twelve isn't one of them. I actually felt that the whole first hour of the film was pretty bad. It could have been much tighter, even in the beginning. I mean, why make the part with Benedict all so lengthy when god knows there are telephones and Danny Ocean is the leader. But that's not the main problem with this film. I mean while it is fun to see all the characters from the first film in action and the whole deal Julia Roberts in the hotel are well-meant the entire film has nothing of the adventure of the first. There is no excitement, no suspense, even no sexual tension between any of the characters.

I can see what the story is here, but it is just too elaborate and there are too many different set-up's. The whole thing is filmed in a very uninvolved and non-thrilling way, which is exasperated (I've seen Shaun of the dead as well!) by the fact that many to all of the heists and set-up's are revealed after they have already been made. Also: why set up another heist when you could set up Benedict again? The makers of the film clearly want to make you think they do it because they itch. Well make it clearer and more obvious to see. For I do not believe it after seeing this film.

When criticizing this movie, one has to include the cast and I must say that overall I was pretty disappointed with it. George Clooney didn't have any charisma this time around as Danny 'smooth operator' Ocean , Andy Garcia wasn't quite mean enough, I can't figure out why Bernie Mac was in the film and as already mentioned. So far as to doing you job badly. The rest of the cast was only mediocre, with the exception of Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts who did OK. Considering Vincent Cassel, I just thought he was miscast and the entire character structure was crap. I mean an adversary to THE GANG should have been much different than the character he played and his whole scheme and and his whole set-up could have been much more believable. No matter how mediocre I thought the acting was, it is not my intention to slam the actors here, for much of the blame can be allocated to the writers and the director.

Is there nothing good then here? Well, of course there are some nice moments in the film and it makes you smile at times. Of course it isn't a total snooze-fest and not utterly boring, but it compared to it's predecessor it really is A LOT worse. I'd actually given this one only a 5 out of 10, but because of some nice bits and that tad of charme that shine through at times I'll be gentle this time.

6 out of 10

post scriptum: please no Ocean's 13 or Ocean's 10 / Ocean's 9 (after one or two members of the crew have been kidnapped

I BEG YOU !!!!!!!!!!

Note: this review has been amended to remove some sexist comments I included at the time. Apologies for any offence caused. I was young and stupid at the time, thinking I was being 'cool'.

A heist movie works on the premise that the audience is in on the heist. We dread the incredible security measures. We get to see the planning and the development. We marvel at the skills of each expert. We experience the same suspense and drama as the characters. Ocean's Twelve discards all these elements in favor of creative editing, avant garde camera work and superficial writing. It tries to extract great performances from so-so actors. O.K. so they all are beautiful people. That doesn't mean they are automatically the best actors. It doesn't mean that they can carry a film on their performances. Clooney and Pitt are no Newman and Redford. The acting talents of Catherince Zeta-Jones have never been anything to write home about. Only Finney in a tiny cameo draws any real emotion from the audience.

The best heist movies have real suspense. This film has none. The outcome is never in doubt. No matter how the surface of the plan is seemingly foiled...everyone is in on the far deeper "actual" plan.

On major problem is Garcia's character.

If the original "11" successfully pulled off the job we are made to believe they did in the first film, they wouldn't panic and crumble like a house of cards to Benedict's pressure and scare tactics. In fact, once a member of the cadre had been contacted, survelliance would have captured Benedict's strong arm tactics and bellicose threats immediately. The man would have legal challenges beyond belief.

It's not enough to know who robbed you. You must have proof, otherwise the worst threats would be a laughing matter for seasoned pros.

The 2001 remake of Lewis Milestone's "Ocean's Eleven" is a good adventure, with action, comedy and thriller in an updated screenplay. When this sequel was released, I was impressed with the number of stars and locations mostly in Europe, and certainly a huge budget. Unfortunately, this movie does not have the most relevant component: a decent screenplay. The beginning is confused and most of the situations and dialogs are not funny, being indeed ridiculous; when the execution of the heist is disclosed in the end, it is ludicrous; and the absurd plot itself is totally unbelievable and does not work. The direction is also very bad, with horrible and weird movements of camera. Steven Soderbergh began his career with exceptional works, but his last films are very deceptive ("Full Frontal"(2002); "Solaris"(2002)). My vote is six.

Title (Brazil): "Doze Homens e Outro Segredo" ("Twelve Men and Other Secret")

Three years after Ocean's Eleven the gang's all back for more in this sequel. This time around the elusive group of thieves and con artists reunite and travel abroad to Europe to try and pull off another elaborate heist after vengeful casino mogul Terry Benedict (García) tracks them down looking for reimbursement. Little do they dream that they'll face stiff competition from a self-proclaimed criminal mastermind (Cassel) who's determined to try and upstage them. The latest in a long line of tepid Hollywood sequels; the cast may have had fun making this film but that doesn't mean the audience will as it drags on for over two hours with endless story lulls, self-conscious humor, and banal dialogue. One particularly embarrassing in-joke falls flat and leaves you wondering just how desperate the producers were to earn cheap laughs. The same group of gifted actors that made the original so special are wasted here, as the needlessly inextricable "script" lacks any wit, style, or sense of purpose. **