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|Index||24 reviews in total|
Sometimes you come across DVDs that are so bad, you have to make sure people
know so they won't waste their money. This is one of those. Sadly, we live
in the electronics' age, where everyone with a camcorder now thinks they
have the skill to make movies.
This is absolutely horrible. It's not clear why there are zombies walking the earth, but then again, I don't think there was an actual script used here. They had to be making this up as they went along. I mean, it's laughable. There's one classic scene where a zombie is walking in the CROSSWALK, as other people walk by, apparently not involved in the production. There's actually a couple walking by the zombie holding hands. It seems the zombies in this movie only attack people involved in the production. I think there's supposed to be some zombie plague taking over the country in this `story,' yet every other shot we see cars moving down streets normally and regular activity as if the `director' was saying `please, just ignore what's happening outside the scene of my movie.'
We've got a swat team of THREE MEMBERS, who for some reason are shooting blindly down an apartment hallway. A zombie comes out and rather than simply shoot him, they throw a grenade at him, because as we all know, most city police forces make sure their officers are equipped with hand grenades. Oddly, we hear the grenade go off and for some reason, I still haven't made the connection, the next scene we see an odd looking couple, who've been having sex the last ten minutes in another room, get splashed with a bucket of what appears to be cranberry juice. It's not made clear why this happened, it just moves to the next scene.
We see a girl taking a shower in one scene. It has nothing to do with anything, but I guess the `director' thought by having some breasts in his movie, it would have a better chance of getting a DVD distribution deal. She's attacked by a police zombie, who's wearing a police top, and jeans for pants. Must have lost his grenades on the way in.
So for all you wannabe filmmakers who've got your 300 dollar camcorder and your buddies are ready to make a movie, let me give you a couple tips. First, get a script. Making it up as you go along just makes your production look even worse. Second, LIGHTING is important in your scenes, especially when you're using video. And most importantly, REAL ACTORS are a must. When you've got complete amateurs delivering mundane dialog in monotone voices, it just makes your production look even more amateurish. The people who were in this film were worse than porno actors and that is bad.
I couldn't watch the rest of this movie past the halfway point, so I don't know if they ever explain why the movie is called `Meat Market,' or why zombies are walking the earth in the first place, although there are numerous scenes completely lifted from the Romero films, so I guess it was the same reason.
By the way, I guarantee, any good `reviews' you've read on this movie (notice I never use the world `film' since it's not a film, it's shot on video) were done by people involved with the `production.'
I bought this film without know or having heard anything about it. I was determined to buy SOMETHING that night, and this was the only interesting thing, so i bought it. There are some really great aspects to this film, as well as some really horrible things. It's films like this one that enforce my belief that horror fans should NOT make their own horror movies. And by that, i mean it becomes inevitable that you are gonna try and pay homage to your faves, and throw in your own little inside jokes, and just all around try and be clever when you are, well, not. Also, i know its difficult to pull a budget together, and sometimes we just want to put something of ourselves out there so badly that we are willing to make a lot of compromises. And maybe it's just time for me to expand my mind on this subject, but for now, I CANNOT STAND WATCHING MATERIAL SHOT ON VIDEO!!! There should be some kind of warning on the box or case letting you know how a film is presented. Its just difficult to take a film seriously when it looks like you got a couple of friends together and borrowed you Dads Cam-corder to make a spooky movie. All that said and out of the way, i will say that this film is pretty good. I can honestly say that the filmmaker himself is going to be a fine director someday. The zombie make-up is VERY good. Better than a lot of movies that HAVE found financial backing. The writing is ...o.k... i think it might have come off a little better if a little more detail was paid to the acting (again, the same scenes could be shot on film as opposed to video and might have worked. It's the fault of the medium). One of my favorite pieces of the film is the storyline of Vampire vs. Zombie. I have always wanted to see this conflict in some form. Both undead, but in different ways. The film makes some interesting choices with that storyline, and id like to have seen more conflict there. Another good thing about this film is that it ALMOST never reverts to making fun of the genre or digresses into sophomoric jokes. For the most part, this movie does take itself very seriously, which gives it more integrity. I do recommend this film for zombie lovers, if for nothing else, to glimpse the early work of someone who will most definatly blossom into a great horror director.
Where do you start with something this terrible? Shooting on video is always a good sign of the badness to follow. Why do these 'home movie' enthusiasts never, ever get real actors? Most struggling actors will work for free and they will do a much better job than the producer's buddy. The only entertainment in this is just how bad the sound and editing are. The sounds of 'eating' were added whenever a zombie attacked, but it sounded like they had swallowed the mic. My favorite sound was the audible friction created by the plastic pants on the thunder-thighed lesbo vampires...embarrassing all around. And why wouldn't you (I guess I'm talking to the makers of this) at least read a book on how to write screenplays because there was no discernible story or ending! And, finally, for god's sake spend the money on film school if you went then go again and pay attention this time!
Great, another low-budget zombie movie attempt that adds absolutely
nothing new. On top of that, it's a really poorly done film, with bad
effects, a non-existent story and some real bad directing and acting
The foremost problem of this movie is that it's thinking too highly of itself. It obviously very blatantly tries to be like another "Dawn of the Dead", with as a big difference that none of the persons involved with this movie were very talented ones. It tries to do too much with it's gore and action, while the movie clearly didn't had the budget for it. The gore isn't very convincing, just like it's make-up effects and seem to be only put in the movie for that sake of having some gore in it. Same goes for all of the nudity and sex scenes. They are so terribly pointless and random. The movie should had been way more creative and should had tried less to impersonate other successful genre movies from the past.
It's a real poorly put together film, that doesn't even really follow a good clear main story. It makes the movie all the more pointless to watch. What makes it all the more worse is the fact that the movie is totally lacking in some good or likable enough characters. This movie could had uses a main hero but instead now we got some flat characters, you don't even remember the names off. There are also far too many characters in it. Seriously, this movie should have had only 3 or 4 main characters at most in it, to keep things at least somewhat more engaging and easy and more pleasant to follow.
It's a straight to video movie that also got shot on video, which just isn't the best or most professional look for a movie. It makes it look all extremely amateur like, which in essence is of course right, since this movie got made by non-professionals, without a decent budget backing them up. But saying that this movie is bad simply because it didn't had a decent budget behind it really wouldn't be a fair assumption. The movie is bad in many ways, that aren't necessarily budget related. The pace and setup is really poor, as is its editing, writing and acting. All things that just simply indicate that none of the persons involved with this movie are among the most talented ones around, which is still the foremost reason why this movie simply fails to deliver.
As far as low-budget horror goes; this is isn't the worst attempt I have ever seen and I didn't hated it watching as much as lots of other modern horror attempts but this still remains a movie that you should simply skip, even if you're a lover of zombie flicks.
Two former security agents find themselves in a world where (what
else?) the dead have returned to consume the flesh of the living.
Finding themselves on the run from authorities, they find survivors in
three girls who are vampires with high tech weapons, a washed up
Luchador, a wounded soldier, and a mad scientist.
On paper, "Meat Market" sounds like a blast. Director Brian Clement obviously loves horror and exploitation cinema, and tries to throw in every ounce of love of these movies into his debut feature. That's fine and all, and the make up and gore effects aren't bad either-but the movie itself is dreadful.
Why? Well for one thing, this is one of my least favorite types of horror film-the Shot on Camcorder/Super 8 Zombie Movie. That means you are going to get abysmal acting from a pair of amateurs, a really annoying score, poor attempts at humor (not even the washed up Luchador is as funny as the director seems to think), scenes that lift whole sale from other, far superior horror movies (in this case, the films of George Romero, Lucio Fulci and Jean Rollin are among the victims of cinematic plagiarism) and a lack of genuine film making skill (though I'm probably being a bit harsh there-this was the director's first movie.) In short, it's essentially the equivalent of watching a guy and his friends goofing off, making home movies.
For all it's ambition and love of horror and exploitation. "Meat Market" just can't escape the fact that it's an awful movie. A shame really, because with a better script and actors, it could have been fun. As it is though, it's a movie best left avoided.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
Two former employees of a company that did experiments with nano
science or something of the like are out trying to take care of the
things they have a small responsibility in making. The dead are killing
the living and eating their flesh and soon there will be no more of the
living. With the help of three vampires and a Mexican wrestler, can
they stop the onslaught? As soon as the film starts you should know
what you are in for. It's a no budget zombie fest. The plot doesn't
hold up to much but it's a zombie film what do you expect. The acting
is defiantly the worst part of this film. It is dire. The writing
doesn't help. These people talk like no one I have ever seen in my
life. Questions are often answered with just a strange look of movement
of the head. The effects are OK for the budget but at times the film
gets a little boring and it seems you're just waiting for some more
gore to show up so a little more wouldn't have gone a miss. As I said,
at times it gets a little slow and you wonder what the two main
characters are actually trying to achieve. At first it seems like they
are just going to barricade themselves in for a few years then they go
out looking for more survivors.
The characters are pretty one dimensional and there isn't much development of them. The Mexican wrestler is hilarious thought, especially with his obviously dubbed on voice. That was a great little touch. There are also some nice sex scenes to keep us amused including a lovely lesbian scene for the guys. These seem put in just for the sake of it but then I'm not going to complain.
Even with all its bad points it is a very entertaining film and it was the directors first so it's a great first effort and I'm sure he learnt a lot form it. For all zombie film fans it should go down pretty well. For everyone else maybe not 6/10.
I'm not sure what to tell you about this film. It's just another crazy
home-made zombiefilm with a bunch of bloody effects and bad actors. Its
great fun for a day you're really tired and ready for some
zombie-action. There is some blood and guts, the make-up effects on the
zombies aren't that bad. And there are also some sex scenes. But it's
nothing you haven't seen before. The thing about Meat Market is that
some scenes work, and some don't. I think that the directors had too
high hopes and visions for this movie. They just tried too hard. And
you shouldn't do that when making movies with such a low budget as
this. So a lot of the stuff in the film just makes you yawn and look at
your watch. The story just doesn't seem to work, some of it does. But
it just gets stupid after a while, especially when a bunch of vampires
starts to show up in the middle of this mess with their lazerguns and
long boring vampire stories to tell. It's embarrassing just to think
about it. If you want to see a low-budget zombiemovie full of blood and
a lot of brain eating zombies then I don't really recommend Meat
Market, it's not worth it. If you're interested in the genre I should
recommend "Dead Next Door", "Burial Ground" or "The Beyond". If you
want to see this film you have got to be really interested in low
The music can be quite annoying as well, but it's not that bad in some scenes. It doesn't always fit the situation, but most of it doesn't. It doesn't really have that entire "zombie look" over it. The theme always really fit the genre of the movie. The movie is not an entire crapfest .As I said there is some stuff in it that may interest you. I love to see how other amateur's film make their own stuff. You have got to give them some credit for trying though.
I have said this many times before about an independent no-budget film. But this time I really mean it...I could make a better movie than these guys! And if you have seen my stuff, then I think that speaks for itself. I think what the movie misses "that little extra". It's just the same again and again throughout the whole movie. But Meat Market isn't THAT bad. There are still some good highlights. Even some humour. And if you love stuff that is "so bad it's good" you should check out Meat Market.
First of all you will laugh. I don't think the movie is meant to be
funny but it's so awful that you can't keep yourself from laughing.
Suddenly people start eating each other in the streets. Of course no one can understand what's going on. And we meet our crew.. A swat team of only 3 members, 2 stupid former employees of the company which caused all the "zombie thing", 3 self-proclaimed female vampires, 1 Mexican wrestler who is allegedly "The Devil" himself, and 3 or 4 zombies (One of the zombies is the director himself). You will see the same zombies throughout the whole movie. Even the ones that have already been killed.
My favorite character was El Diablo. His sound was edited later on. So I guess the director told him to move a bit and pretend that he's speaking. But he's so overacting that he looks like a mad, mute guy who's trying to tell something big he has just seen, but can't. (these scenes are the funniest ones)
Vampires were as funny as El Diablo. It's so obvious that the fake vampire teeth are uncomfortable to wear and speak at the same time so they're always trying to fit the teeth better. And they have laser guns!! And they are fat!! And they are lesbians!! Cool, eh?
Too many unnecessary breast and sex scenes, amateur actors (most probably the friends of the director), exaggerated sound editing in the "eating" scenes, ridiculous story, boring conversations..
BUT, it's worth watching, to see how ridiculous a movie can be.
Y'know what really gets my panties in a bunch? When a bad movie comes out, and then the people behind it go around to all the movie websites and pose as fans, leaving tons of "Oh wow, it was wonderful!" messages all over the place. I'm the victim of this sort of crap. I read reviews of Meat Market in a couple of places, and they were drooling with approval and gushing with praise. I encourage you to take a closer look at the other people posting here on IMDB about this and other Sub-Rosa movies. Notice anything familiar upon closer inspection? Yup, you got it. If the movie's any good, why do you think they need to trick people into buying it? Meat Market is a travesty. I bought this puppy because I'm a long-time Zombie film fan, and had heard that MM was supposed to rival Dawn of the Dead in its own way, even though the budget was low and it was technically a B-movie. No biggie, thought I, cuz I love b-movies, too. Eagerly I grab my new purchase and race for home and my trusty DVD player, a fellow movie buff in tow for the shared experience!
Right away I can tell something's wrong. The acting wasn't just bad, it was can't-watch-the-movie-because-the-horrible-acting-is-upstaging-everything-el se kindof bad. Truly horrible. Then I begin to realize that the writing was also at fault. The dialogue was just plain stupid. People simply don't talk that way; another distraction from the "story." I glance over at my friend (we're only a short way in at this point), and he's looking back at me like I just shoved an anthrax-coated toothpick in his eye. Back to the movie... Supposedly, the dead are walking the streets, and people are running for their lives, shooting at the fake zombies if they're lucky enough to have guns. Apparently the zombies only congregate where there are cameras, because the background is still filled with moving cars, and other "normal" aspects of life. Sheesh. Corpses that are "killed" miraculously appear again in other scenes, as do a couple of victims that I was pretty sure had gotten killed a little while ago. The police act like Keystone Kops, the make-up and special effects are just plain horrible. Wanna look like a zombie? Rub some blackout under your eyes and wrinkle your clothing. Viola! Tom Savini would be embarrased. The plot continues to get more bizarre and make absolutely no sense, and while you're still mentally trying to get this atrocity to make sense, you're hit with more strangeness from left field, such as vampires that suddenly appear in skimpy, ridiculous outfits and continually pose for the camera wherever it's at while spewing forth the worst dialogue in stunted, I've-never-acted-before-in-my-life speech.
I can see how this may have looked good on paper as an initial idea. Zombies and vampires, world falling apart, gun-toting survivors, etc. Yeah, sign me up, sounds great. Unfortunately, both the script and the execution of the idea (makeup, effects, acting, dialogue, etc.) are so bad the movie literally isn't watchable. My friend got up halfway through the film, gave me a dirty look like I'd just played the worst dirty trick on him ever, and walked out. I gave it another five minutes and gave up, too. Dirty trick indeed. On us. Do yourself a favor, don't even rent this. Even Mike, Tom Servo, & Crow couldn't sit through this one. You've been warned.
Animal attacks, says the TV news. But two ex-security agents know the
real cause - maybe the real culprits. Shahrokh and Argenta are former
employees of a company they knew to be conducting bizarre medical
experiments. What has resulted are not animals attacks, but attacks by
humans turned into vicious, decomposing, cannibalistic zombies. Their
efforts to stem the violence in vain, hunted by the authorities,
Shahrokh and Argenta escape the city just as it is engulfed in chaos.
Their only hope lies in finding and organizing the few remaining
survivors. What they find - three women claiming to be vampires with
high-tech weaponry, a deranged and washed-up Mexican wrestler, a
wounded soldier, and a scientist who may know more than he lets on -
offer more questions than answers. Can this tiny cadre hope to defeat
an army of the undead? And if they succeed...will there be anyone left
Gore was the main focus. I'm glad to say it delivered with some really impressive nasty effects. There was a mangled body, tons of limb gnawing, blown up body, many head gun wounds, run over corpse, and a head sawed open. This isn't even all, but those stood out to me the most. With a higher budget, this could have been amazing.
Technical: Lets start out with the positives here. The camera shots and angles were all pretty creative and done well..most of the editing was pretty good(especially the gun shot scene at the beginning)..There was also some sex scene clipped into zombie killing scenes that was original. The sets were also really impressive for such a small budget movie. Clement can really pull this off nicely. There was also a short shot of zombie perspective which was really original and cool to see. On the other hand, some of the simple edits were a little careless..but the main complaint is the fact that i don't think they used any lighting whatsoever. So a lot of the time it was really hard to see what was going on.
I've seen a little worse acting, but it got pretty bad towards the end. The first half hour of this movie was really great until the script got a little lengthy. The only person who seemed to be able to possibly act was Paul Pedrosa.
Final Thoughts: Cool gore, nice makeup, and bad acting. 2/3 isn't too bad. It was enough to keep me entertained. Not bad at all for a low budget DEBUT by Brian Clement. The whole concept he brings in is interesting. People don't seem to mind the zombies because they are 'cleaning up the streets' of bums. People just go along with their daily routines...
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