Juggalo Championshxt Wrestling Volume 1 (2000 Video)
3D: However, J and Shaggy own Psychopathic Records and the next thing you know, Tom Dub is being forced, and I underline forced, he is forced to wrestle, right there, Ding Dong Bundy, who looks like a giant penis in a broken black condom.
Gweedo: And now Iron shiek mounting him like a fagg- oh wait it's a camel clutch!
Violent J: This is Evil Dead. He's our fuckin' dead body wrestler and he's gonna take it all.
Shaggy 2 Dope: All we're saying is we own the federation. That's all we're saying.
Violent J: That's right so everything goes our way. And if you don't like it, fuck you. So, what you gonna do when the Insane Clown Posse runs wild on you, mother facko?
3D: and now that manager chick is gonna turn on Angel, as if anyone watching gives a fuck!
The Iron Sheik: If you want to see Sheik put jabroni in Camel Clutch, give me hell yeah.
King Kong Bundy: Yak, yak, yak, move over son, the great Bundy's got something to say. Who the hell is Tom Dub? I don't care if some record company, some perverts, a bunch of heroin addicts think that you're going to be using the great Bundy as a stepping stone. Son, you're going down, you're getting a five-count and don't ever think of doing anything in wrestling again.
Gweedo: [During the Abdullah the Butcher-Rude Boy match] No sell, no sell.
3D: Big sell!
Gweedo: They should call you Tom Selleck.
3D: There is speculation that Evil Dead is really Jumpsteady under a stupid rubber mask. Jumpsteady is the brother of Violent J. Violent J and Shaggy own JCW.
Gweedo: The rules of this battle royal are simple. You get thrown over the top fucking rope, you're out.
Truth Martini: Can you believe this shit? Look what they're fucking putting us into.
Terek the Great: I know man, I know this is fucking bullshit. I'm a fucking cruiserweight wrestler. I wrestle in Japan. I don't need this shit. I'm not a fucking stupid clown.
Truth Martini: Look at this shit, this shit's fucking choking me too.
Terek the Great: Dude, I know, man this is fucking bullshit. I ain't no fucking clown.
Truth Martini: I don't believe we're fucking doing this.
Terek the Great: Well, we are.
Truth Martini: Let me let you in on something. I'm only doing it for the money
[rubs fingers together]
Terek the Great: I'm gonna put it to you like this. I don't give a fuck about how much J and Shaggy are paying us to do this. I ain't going out there and fucking jobbing for those two fuckers. They're not even wrestlers.
Truth Martini: They got us jobbing?
Terek the Great: They're not even fucking wrestlers. I ain't jobbing for them. But wait, it's alright. I've got a plan up my sleeve. And let me tell you something, the Clowns' plans aren't going as smoothly as planned tonight. Trust me.
Truth Martini: [laughing] Feeling better.
[laughing. Picks up costume]
Truth Martini: Fuck!
'Luscious' Johnny Stark: [Truth Martini makes his way out for the battle royal] You know, I hear that his big brother, Bad Boy Barry Brunzell, was thinking of coming to JCW.
Gweedo: That's just speculation, Caruthis Martellini would never have him do that.
'Luscious' Johnny Stark: [trying to hold back his laughter] Ok.
3D: Terek lost the match and has to wrestle as Doink the Fuck, but we'll get to that later.
Gweedo: [Fat Fuck Barrel Boy makes his way out for the battle royal] Fat Fuck Barrel Boy!
'Luscious' Johnny Stark: Speaking of fuck.
3D: A big fat fucking fat guy in a barrel, what could be better? JCW at its finest.