Die You Zombie Bastards! (2005)

Director:

Caleb Emerson

Writers:

Haig Demarjian (writer)
Caleb Emerson (writer)

Release Date:

February 2005 (USA)

Genre:

Comedy | Fantasy | Horror | Sci-Fi

Tagline:

The World's First EVER Serial Killer Superhero Rock'n'Roll Zombie Road Movie Romance

Plot:

Plot Keywords:

Female Nudity | Breast Enlargement | Profanity In Title | Decapitation | Superhero

Cast

Tim Gerstmar	...	Red / CoconutHeadFaceMan / Mother Nefarious / Thierry Toole
Geoff Mosher	...	Baron Nefarious
Pippi Zornoza	...	Violet
Jamie Gillis	...	Stavros
Hasil Adkins	...	Himself
Jennifer K. Beal	...	Shannon Maldonato
Sadie Blades	...	Nikki Maldonato
Zhana LaRenard	...	Britney Maldonato
Joseph James	...	Officer Konash (as Joe James)
Sandra Kennedy	...	Super Inga
Lon E. Plynton	...	Barundeb Duttah
Doug Williams	...	Kid Fantastico
Llama Dick	...	Hell Island Field Worker
Scott Horsley	...	Hell Island Field Worker / Zombie
Jesse Myers	...	Hell Island Field Worker

Runtime:

USA:97 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Filming Locations:

Gloucester, Massachusetts, USA

Company:

Zombastic Productions Inc.

Trivia:

Editor Daniel Strange cut this film to fulfill his end of a bet made with director Caleb Emerson while the two were in film school together. Strange and Emerson hated each other (and claim to hate each other to this day). In an attempt to jinx each other they made an agreement that if Strange got funding for a feature film first that Caleb would have to do the special effects, and if Caleb got funding for his feature first that Strange would have to edit it gratis. The two never spoke throughout the process of editing this feature film; they communicated to each other only through notes, emails and messages relayed by assistant editor Paul Nadjmabadi.

Quotes:

Violet: Do you know what I love?
Red: [excited] Rubber dicks?
Violet: Well yes, but that's not what I was going to say...
Red: [still excited] Rubber dicks slathered to the hilt with peanut butter?

Movie Connections:

Referenced in Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)

Soundtrack:

Voodoo Spell

vile, disgusting, gleefully stupid, and these are compliments

In the mood for a film that's vile, disgusting, and gleefully stupid? Well, look no more, here it is, "Die You Zombie Bastards". It's a tale of cannibal hillbillies Red Toole & his wife Violet, who embark on a series of adventures when Violet is kidnapped by Baron Nefarious and taken away to Hell Island. Baron Nefarious has already kidnapped Paleo-archaeologists, the Maldonato sisters, and has turned them into his green-skinned, pink-haired, zombie yummy bums. So of course Red sets out to find Violet with the help of many strange people, including the mysterious Stavros who seems to appear everywhere, and Barundeb Duttah, a dread-locked man who dispenses advice from his bath while a nearby woman (his assistant?) plays "Operation" (yes, the board game with the little man with the read nose that lights up). Barundeb Duttah also tells the mysterious tale of Coconut Head Face Man, a Jason-like serial killer who prowled the beaches of the Bahamas...and which has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

I did forget to mention that Red is wearing a delightful super-hero outfit that Violet made for him, complete with a human-skin cape & human skin underwear (with a penis attached). And this is probably the first super-hero outfit I've seen that includes a do-rag.

Red also finds some Swedish town populated only by women, hears the tale of "Olaf the Cheese Demon", and is given lethal cheeses to use against his enemies. He also manages to find Hasil Adkins (legendary rockabilly nut-case) and then he finds his own dad, and THEN he finally gets to Hell Island and does battle against the Baron, his robots, his poorly-behaved dog men, and Vlad the Impaler...whew. I kind of forgot to mention that poor Violet has received a breast enlargement with a bicycle pump, and I kind of forgot to mention a LOT of really f***ed up things about this movie because there are so MANY. I even forgot to mention the giant rubber penis. Oh well.

IF you're a fan of Troma movies, you'll probably like this, but to be honest, Troma has really gone downhill the last few years & have not put out much worthwhile. This is actually far BETTER than typical Troma stuff. It's deliberately campy & stupid, with ultra-cheesy sets and make-up, and yet has some better-than-average humor and great music too. Hasil Adkins, rest his soul, plays his own addled self in a brief role.

AND, if you think that super-hero status & love triumphing over all negates the fact that Red & Violet are hillbilly cannibals, well, think again, for even that little issue is addressed again toward the end of the film.

An absolute nightmare for any mainstream film fan but a delight for those who love Troma stuff or just plain sick & twisted schlock. 8 out of 10.