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Jiminy Glick in Lalawood (2004) Poster

Quotes

Jiminy Glick: If it's human waste, save some for me.

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Andre Devine: I'm on my knees like a German teenager.

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Andre Devine: I have give two blowjobs to English Insurance people, I am not homo-ist, I am man! I am on my knees like German teenager to English people with wrotten teeth in their mouths!

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Andre Devine: You are a proud man, you're great black-ist, you're one of the great, you have beautiful gold things, a crown made from pants, you should be king! Are you king of the negros?

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Andre Devine: No one is looking at your great performance, Why? Because you are in corner sucking on a ice statue of Ving Rhames. You are like a terrifying asian woman who is covered with piss!

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Andre Devine: You are like a terrible mexican woman with a radio in her pussy!

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Andre Devine: Natalie, Baby, you're a beautiful women, why do you speak? You look great. People in the room say 'look at the girl - she has wonderful tits, I go upstairs alone and I rub against things.'

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Andre Devine: Quick - we have to make a tea from her own clothing.

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Jiminy Glick: [voiceover while interviewing Rob Lowe] Isn't it amazing, just 6 months ago, when I was talking to Arlene Shayhee, I was so bored. Here I am talking to Brat-packer Rob Lowe...

Rob Lowe: I... me... me... I... I... me... I...

Jiminy Glick: [voiceover] ... and I'm equally bored. What have I learned, I wonder. Ah yes, celebrities can be dull.

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Andre Devine: Andre has new hole, on his front!

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Jiminy Glick: I'm one of those guys that needs it regular, ya know? Sometimes Dixie's awake for it, most of the time she's not.

Ben DiCarlo: Ambien and some KY, right?

Jiminy Glick: HAH! Ambien and KY! You know, for the longest time I was taking the KY orally! It's not necessary!

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Andre Devine: What a crappy movie hey? I've made better shit than this, in my own toilet.

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Andre Devine: Reach into my asshole and grab my wallet.

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Jiminy Glick: My, that's a nice beaver.

Dixie Glick: Why, thank you.

Jiminy Glick: [Jiminy points at a stuffed beaver] No.

Dixie Glick: Oh.

Jiminy Glick: Although yours is nicely... shaped.

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Andre Devine: You know Ben DiCarlo?

Miranda Coolidge: We met in Vegas at ShoWest years ago.

Andre Devine: ShoWest? A strip club? You show your puss?

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Jiminy Glick: Oprah Winfrey, how do you do what you do so consistently?

Whoopi Goldberg: I stomp on everyone I can.

Jiminy Glick: And you're despised by so many. But not by me.

Whoopi Goldberg: I live for that. And remember to spell my name right. O-P-E-R-A.

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Jiminy Glick: And you're Canadian, I hear. What's that about?

Kiefer Sutherland: Well this is a fantastic country. Uhm. What's that about?

Jiminy Glick: That was my question dear.

Kiefer Sutherland: I know. I'm trying to... I've never actually had to...

Jiminy Glick: Eventually the show will start. Don't you wanna just finally answer it?

Kiefer Sutherland: Yeah, what's that about? For me it's been a fantastic... it's where I come from, and it's um...

Jiminy Glick: What?

Kiefer Sutherland: Canada!

Jiminy Glick: You're Canadian? I didn't know that.

Kiefer Sutherland: Yes, it's true.

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Jiminy Glick: [pointing at Toronto's C.N. Tower] That's a phallic-looking thing! Remind you of anybody?

Dixie Glick: No.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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