Conquering 90% of the known world by the age of 25, Alexander the Great led his armies through 22,000 miles of sieges and conquests in just eight years. Coming out of tiny Macedonia, Alexander led his armies against the mighty Persian Empire, drove west to Egypt, and finally made his way east to India. This film will concentrate on those eight years of battles, as well as his relationship with his boyhood friend and battle mate, Hephaestion. Alexander died young, of illness, at 33. Alexander's conquests paved the way for the spread of Greek culture (facilitating the spread of Christianity centuries later), and removed many of the obstacles that might have prevented the expansion of the Roman Empire. In other words, the world we know today might never have been if not for Alexander's bloody, yet unifying, conquest. Written by
In the film, the final battle against the Indians is depicted as taking place in a jungle, whereas in reality the battle - known as the Battle of the Hydaspes - took place on the banks of the river Hydaspses (now known as the Jhelum). See more »
Our world is gone now. Smashed by the wars. Now I am the keeper of his body, embalmed here in the Egyptian ways. I followed him as Pharaoh, and have now ruled 40 years. I am the victor. But what does it all mean when there is not one left to remember - the great cavalry charge at Gaugamela, or the mountains of the Hindu Kush when we crossed a 100,000-man army into India? He was a god, Cadmos. Or as close as anything I've ever seen.
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I'm giving this film one star for the reason that it has absolutely no excuse whatsoever for its wretchedness. With a cast like it has, a budget ample enough for three good films, and a legend-centered plot sure to pique the viewer's interest well before the movie is even seen, it delivers a seriously despicable, laughable fiasco.
Of course it's set in ancient Greece. What's interesting is that Alexander sounds straight out of Dublin. And his mother? Why, it's Angelina Jolie, and she's...straight out of Prince Vlad of Tepes' castle in Transylvania. That's right, Vlad of the Dracul. I suppose miss Jolie spent some time watching Gary Oldman deliver his line, "Leesten to Dem! Di tcheeldren ov da nyyaat; vhat sveet muzik dai mike..." or "Alexander, Oi know vat veemen vi-ll do in yore loif..." Yes, it is that bad. So far no good.
As for Alexander's supposedly legendary tactical genius and indomitable character, here instead the viewer gets to watch the boy from Dublin with painfully obvious bleached streaks in his hair and freshly tinted eyebrows look at Jared Leto countless times with a facial expression that's half "Mommy can I have another cookie?" and half irritable bowel syndrome. Leto reciprocates, and captivates movie-goers with a luxurious dark mane of Paul Mitchell's finest work and eyes that make Dakota Fanning look Chinese.
Kilmer is wasted here, as is Hopkins. I didn't give a damn about either of their characters. Watch it yourself to see if you do.
As a boy I was fascinated by Greek mythology, Greek Tragedy and Comedy. I jump at any chance I can get to tack on extra elements of wonder to my understanding of these subjects. At least I learned something new by watching Alexander. His mother was a vampire wanna-be snake temptress and Alexander's horse had more charisma than he did. Yup, Alexander's horse gets my nomination for best actor.
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