Quotes
King Neptune: [to Spongebob] And as for you, be back with my crown in exactly 10 days.
Patrick Star: [Appears out of nowhere] He can do it in nine.
King Neptune: Eight.
Patrick Star: Seven.
King Neptune: Six
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [He and Spongebob attack Patrick]
King Neptune: Six it is then.
Patrick Star: [while being choked by Mr. Krabs] Five?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick, shush!
Share thisPlankton: His chops are too righteous. The helmets can't handle this level of rock 'n' roll. Karen, do something.
Karen the Computer: [Karen is being surfboard across the the Krusty Krab] Weeeee!
Plankton: Karen?
Share thisMindy: With my mermaid magic, I'll turn you into men.
Seahorses: [in seahorse language] Mermaid Magic?
Mindy: Shhh!
Share thisCaptain Bart the Pirate: I never thought I'd see it with me own eye.
[Reaches into treasure chest]
Captain Bart the Pirate: Tickets to the SpongeBob Movie!
Share thisDennis: Finally.
[cracks knuckles]
Dennis: I got you right where I want you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Can I help you with something, sir?
Dennis: Name's Dennis. I've been hired to exterminate you.
SpongeBob SquarePants: You're gonna exterminate us?
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other, then burst out in laughter before wiping their tears]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Listen, Junior. You caught me and my friend here in a good mood today, so I'm gonna let you off with a warning. Step aside, and you won't have to feel the awesome wrath of our mustaches.
Dennis: You mean these?
[grabs the seaweed mustaches off SpongeBob and Patrick's faces]
Dennis: I thought you still had a piece of salad stuck to your lip from lunchtime.
[Throws mustaches as SpongeBob and Patrick's eyes bulge at the sight of them]
SpongeBob SquarePants: They were fake?
Dennis: Of course they were fake! This is what a real mustache looks like.
[Pulls face mask off, grunts to sprout mustach from his upper lip]
Patrick Star: Is he a mermaid?
Dennis: All right. Enough gab.
[approaches SpongeBob and Patrick, who are trembling in fear]
SpongeBob SquarePants: What are you gonna do to us?
Dennis: Plankton was very specific.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton?
Dennis: For some reason, he wanted me to step on you.
Patrick Star: Step on us?
Dennis: Yeah! That way, you'll never find out that he stole the crown!
[SpongeBob and Patrick look at each other]
Dennis: Uhh, perhaps I've said too much.
[extends spikes from the soles of his boots. SpongeBob and Patrick tremble in fear as Dennis positions his boot above them]
Patrick Star: That's a big boot.
Dennis: Don't worry. This'll only hurt a lot!
[laughs]
Dennis: I love this job!
[Continues to laugh, only to be crushed by a bigger boot]
Patrick Star: Bigger boot!
[tries to run away]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait, Pat! This bigger boot saved our lives.
Patrick Star: Yay!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Thank you, stranger!
Share thisCaptain Bart the Pirate: You know, David Hasselhoff was a great artist.
Usher: Excuse me, sir. You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart the Pirate: What?
[Pulls out sword]
Captain Bart the Pirate: Say that again, if you dare!
Usher: You folks have to leave.
Captain Bart the Pirate: [pauses, then sobs] Okay.
[the pirates leave the theatre as the Usher continues to sweep the floor]
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: Chum Bucket? Free? Kabby Patty? Plankton? Giving? With?
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: And after the promotion ceremony, we're gonna party till we're purple.
Patrick Star: Yay! I love being purple!
SpongeBob SquarePants: We're going to the place where all the action is.
Patrick Star: You don't mean...?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, I mean.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Goofy Goobers Ice Cream Party Boat!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: [singing] Oh, I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah / You're a Goofy Goober, yeah / We're all Goofy Goobers, yeah / Goofy, goofy, Goober, goober, yeah!
Share thisPlankton: Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet... from A to Y!
Karen the Computer: A to Y?
Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.
Karen the Computer: What about Z?
Plankton: Z?
Karen the Computer: Z... The letter after Y...
Plankton: [searching thorugh the file cabinet] W, X, Y... Z. Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said.
Karen the Computer: Oh, boy.
Plankton: It's evil. It's diabolical. It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail!
Share thisPlankton: I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank - !
[Spongebob accidentally steps on him]
Share thisOld Lady: [about Spongebob] NuckleHead McSpazatron!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [didn't get the promotion] I'm ready. Depression.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Get it together old boy.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. Patrick, Squidward and I...
Squidward Tentacles: [Leaving] Pass.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh, Patrick and I...
Patrick Star: Hi.
SpongeBob SquarePants: ...will bring back the crown and save you from Neptune's wrath. You have nothing to worry about. Your life is in our hands.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: [worried] Ohh!
Share thisKaren the Computer: Don't get worked up again, Plankton. I just mopped the floors.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [at podium] People of Bikini Bottom, as manager of...
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob...
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hold the phone, everybody. I'm getting an urgent news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K.
[Mr. Krabs whispers]
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm making a complete what of myself?
[Mr. Krabs whispers again]
SpongeBob SquarePants: The most embarassing thing you've ever seen?
[Mr. Krabs whispers again]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Oh, for crying out loud, SpongeBob! You didn't get the job!
Share thisKing Neptune: This crown does more than cover a slightly receding hairline. It entitles the wearer to rule the sea. One day, you will wear this crown.
Mindy: [panics] I'm going to be bald?
King Neptune: Thinning! Anyway, the point is, you won't wear it until you learn to rule with an iron fist, like your father.
[puts on the cushion where the crown used to be]
Mindy: Uh, dad? Your "crown"?
King Neptune: What the...? My crown! Aah! Someone has stolen the royal crown!
Share thisKing Neptune: There is nothing else I can do.
Mindy: You can give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more time.
King Neptune: Except give SpongeBob and Patrick a little more ti-ti-ti-ti... What? Mindy, will you butt out? I will not have you stalling this execution!
Mindy: Stalling? I'm not stalling anything.
King Neptune: Yes, yes you are. You're doing it right now.
Mindy: I'm stalling?
King Neptune: Yes!
Mindy: Stalling.
King Neptune: Stalling!
Mindy: I'm stalling.
King Neptune: Yes!
Share thisMr. Eugene H. Krabs: [final scene] Mr. Squidward, front and center! I think we both know who rightfully deserves to wear that manager pin.
Squidward Tentacles: I couldn't agree more, sir.
Fish: Hooray for SpongeBob!
[Crowd cheers]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait a second, everybody. there's something I need to say first. I just don't know how to put it.
Squidward Tentacles: I think I know what it is. After going on your life-changing journey, you now realise that you don't want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Are you crazy? I was just going to say that your fly was down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my LIFE!
Share thisPlankton: Plan Z is working perfectly. Nothing can stop me now.
Karen the Computer: Nothing except SpongeBob and his pink friend. My sensors indicate that they're on their way to find the crown. If they make it back, Neptune might discover some fingerprints. Tiny fingerprints. Stubby, tiny fingerprints.
Plankton: Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby. I've already hired someone to take care of those two. He's a vicious, cold-blooded predator!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: You still have that bag of winds, buddy?
Patrick Star: [Shows a bulge on his backside] Sure do.
[Both laugh]
Patrick Star: [Pulls out bag of wind, but not from the bulge] Here you go.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Uh...
Patrick Star: What?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Nothing, nothing. Now, let's go over those instructions. Let's see, it says here; Step one: hold bag away from home.
Patrick Star: [Holds bag away] Okay.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Step two: plant feet firmly on ground.
Patrick Star: [Plant feet firmly on ground] Right.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Step three: pull out string, releasing the winds.
Patrick Star: Check.
[pulls string; bag slips from hands and flies away]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [to himself] It seems simple enough. Hold bag away from home, plant feet firmly on ground, pull out string releasing wind.
[to Patrick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Okay, let's do it for real.
Patrick Star: Uh, SpongeBob?
Share thisPatrick Star: Well, saying you're a kid, it's like saying I'm a kid.
Waiter: Here's your Goober Meal, sir.
Patrick Star: Hey, I'm supposed to get a toy with this.
[toy smacks Patrick in the face]
Patrick Star: Thanks
Share thisKing Neptune: [bumps into the Krusty Krab sign] Have this pole executed at once.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: I am 100-percent MAN! And this MAN has got something to say to you!
[blows Mr. Krabs a long raspberry]
SpongeBob SquarePants: There! I think I made my point.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [to Patrick, about driving the Patty Wagon] You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Share thisPlankton: Plan Z. I love ya!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: For your information, we are not kids, we are men.
Share thisPlankton: Evil Plan Z is way ahead of you, baby.
Share thisPatrick Star: Can I have everybody's attention?... I have to use the bathroom.
Share thisMen in bar: All bubble-blowing babies will be beaten senseless by every able-bodied patron in the bar
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: Too bad SpongeBob's not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.
Share thisPatrick Star: It's some kind of wall of psychic energy.
SpongeBob SquarePants: No, Pat, it's a giant glass bowl.
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: So you're selling Krabby Patties, eh Plankton?
Plankton: That's right, Squidward, and there's a free bucket helmet with every purchase. Care for one?
Squidward Tentacles: No. You may have hoodwinked everyone else in this backwater town, but you can't fool me. I listen to public radio.
Plankton: And what's that supposed to mean?
Squidward Tentacles: It means you set up Mr. Krabs. You stole the crown so Neptune would freeze him and you could finally get your stubby paws on the Krabby Patty formula. It was you all along. But you made one fatal mistake. You messed with my paycheck and I'm gonna report you to the highest authority in the land, King Neptune!
Plankton: We'll see about that, Inspector Looselips.
[Plankton laughs and he presses a button on Karen]
Karen the Computer: Now activating helmet brain-control devices.
Squidward Tentacles: Huh?
Share this[Mr. Krabs is marking up the prices for King Neptune]
Squidward Tentacles: One-hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: With cheese, Mr. Squidward. With cheese.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Doesn't it seem a little harsh to kill someone over a crown?
King Neptune: You don't understand. The crown is a symbol of my king-like authority. And, uh, between you and me... my hair is thinning a bit.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, Your Majesty, I'm sure it's not that noticea...
[Sees Neptune's bald head]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Bald! Bald! Bald!
Crowd: Bald! Bald! Bald!
Fish: My eyes!
King Neptune: All right, all right!
Share thisAttendant #1: You two dipsticks wouldn't last ten seconds over the county line!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that.
[they drive over the line; a thief stops them]
Thief: Out of the car, fellas.
[thief drives off with Patty Wagon]
SpongeBob SquarePants: How many seconds was that?
Attendant #2: Twelve.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: IN YOUR FACE!
[start laughing hysterically at attendants before walking away over county line]
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Feast your eyes, Patrick.
Patrick Star: What is it?
SpongeBob SquarePants: The Patty Wagon. Mr. Krabs uses it for promotional reasons. Let me show you some of its features: Sesame seed finish; steel-belted pickles; grilled leather interior; and under the hood, a fuel-injected French fryer with dual overhead grease traps.
Patrick Star: Wow.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah. Wow.
Share thisKing Neptune: You have confessed to the crime of touching the royal crown.
Prisoner: Yes, but...
King Neptune: But what?
Prisoner: I have to. I'm the royal crown polisher.
King Neptune: Well, I suppose I can't execute you. Twenty years in the dungeon it is!
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: I listen to public radio.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: We should be there in one more verse.
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: [singing] Now that we're men...
Dennis: [interrupting the singing] Finally!
Share thisOld Lady: Come on kiddies, have some icecream. I'll even let you pet Mr. Whiskers.
Share thisPatrick Star: Nevermind the car, where's the road, road, road ,road, road, road, road, road, roa... sorry.
Share thisPatrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants: [after finding their car finally, they both say in a high voice] Ah!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [the diver's boot floats onto Hasselhoff's leg. From the bottom, Dennis emerges] Ah! Dennis!
Dennis: Did you miss me?
Share thisDennis: [about to step on Spongebob and Patrick] That's *it*! I'm through with messing around! See ya later fools!
Patrick Star: [Dennis suddenly collides with a floating sailboat and falls into the ocean] See ya.
Share this[Last Lines]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [to squidward] Are you crazy? I was just gonna say that your fly is down. Manager! This is the greatest day of my life!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Take it easy, friend, I'm the manager of this establishment. Everything's gonna be juust fine.
Phil: I'm really scared here, man.
SpongeBob SquarePants: You got a name?
Phil: Phil
SpongeBob SquarePants: You got a family Phil?
Phil: [can't speak, too scared]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [snapping his fingers] Come on Phil, stay with me, lets hear about that family!
Phil: I got a wife, and two beautiful children
SpongeBob SquarePants: Thats what it's all about. I want you to do me a favour Phil.
Phil: What?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Say cheese.
[Slowly places the cheese in the Krabby Patty while a sound like a heartrate monitor starts speeding up in the backround]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [after coming out of the Krusty Krab restaurant with the now smiling Phil holding a Krabby Patty with cheese] Order Up!
Share thisSheldon J. Plankton: [as the brain controlled fish capture Squidward, Plankton shouts] Hahahaha! Who can stop me now? Hahaha! Who?
Share thisPatrick Star: I LOVE BEING PURPLE!
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: Too bad SpongeBob isn't here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.
Share thisGary: [under Plankton's power] Meow... Plankton.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, no, how will we ever get back to Bikini Bottom now?
David Hasselhoff: I can take you there.
[Hasselhoff comes running up in slow motion]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Who are you?
David Hasselhoff: I'm David Hasselhoff.
Patrick Star, SpongeBob SquarePants: Hooray!
SpongeBob SquarePants: So, uh, where's your boat?
David Hasselhoff: Boat?
[laughs]
Share thisMindy: [after getting SpongeBob's and Patrick's moustaches] So, now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: [are intrigued by moustaches and weren't listening to Mindy]
Mindy: Guys!
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Yeah?
Mindy: I said, "Now that you're men, can you make it to Shell City?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Heck, yeah!
Mindy: Are men afraid of anything?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Heck, no!
Mindy: And why?
SpongeBob SquarePants, Patrick Star: Because we're invincible!
[both jump off cliff]
Mindy: [calling after them] I never said that!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [riding a swimming David Hasslehoff] Go Hasslehoff!
Patrick Star: Next stop Bikini Bottom!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Are you on your way to the grand opening ceremony?
Plankton: No, I'm not on my way to the grand opening ceremony. I'm busy planning to rule the world!
[laughs evilly]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [cheerfully] Well, good luck with that!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [after Mindy turns Patrick and Spongebob into men] Huh. I don't feel anything differ... oh my gosh, Patrick, you have a mustache!
Patrick Star: So do you!
Share thisMr. Eugene H. Krabs: [King Neptune sets Mr. Krabs on fire] My pants are on fire!... My underwear is on fire!... *I'm on fire!*
Share thisPatrick Star: [after flying in naked and crashing] Did you see my butt?
Share thisSheldon J. Plankton: No breaks! This monument to my glory isn't going to build itself! Faster!
Share thisPatrick Star: SpongeBob?
[sees him walking away from the trench, defeated]
Patrick Star: Hey, where are you going?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm going home, Patrick.
Patrick Star: But what about Mr Krabs?
SpongeBob SquarePants: What about us? WE'LL never survive in that trench! You said it yourself, this is man's country. And let's face it, Pat. We're just... kids.
Patrick Star: We are NOT kids!
SpongeBob SquarePants: OPEN YOUR EYES, PATRICK! We blow bubbles, we eat ice cream - we worship a dancing PEANUT, for corn's sake! We don't belong out here!
Patrick Star: [defensively] We do NOT worship him!
SpongeBob SquarePants: [pulls Patrick's pants down] Patrick, you've been wearing the same Goofy Goober Peanut Party underpants for three years straight! What do you call that?
Patrick Star: [starts to cry] Worship...? Oh, you're right, SpongeBob! We ARE kids!
[runs away crying, then trips over pulled-down pants]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Pull your pants up, Patrick. We're going home.
Share thisPatrick Star: Did you see my underwear?
Mindy: No Patrick.
Patrick Star: Did you want to?
Share thisPatrick Star: [Flies in naked with a parachute] Lets hear it for SPONGEBOB!
[Everyone runs away]
Patrick Star: Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah OWW! Yeh woo! Yeah OOW... shhh
Share thisMr. Eugene H. Krabs: But there's a word for what you are, and that word is... um...
Fish 1: Dork!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right, not a dork...
Fish 2: A goofball!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no.
Fish 3: A ding-a-ling!
Fish 4: Wingnut!
Old Lady: A Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Okay that's enough!
Share thisPatrick Star: MINDY! Did you see my underwear?
Mindy: No Patrick.
Patrick Star: ...Do you want to?
Share thisSheldon J. Plankton: Karen, baby, I haven't felt this giddy since the day you agreed to be my wife!
Karen the Computer: I never agreed.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [to Dennis on Hasselhoff's leg] I don't know what Plankton's paying you... But maybe these can make it worth your while.
Dennis: You think I can be bought with five... what are these?
SpongeBob SquarePants: That, sir, is five Goober dollars, legal tender at any participating Goofy Goober.
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [having jumped from leg to leg on David Hasselhoff's body] Woo-hoo! I made it!
Dennis: [Dennis jumps and makes it] So did I. You've got guts, kid. Too bad I gotta rip em out of you!
[makes a gesture like pulling guts out of one's body]
Share thisPerch Perkins: First of all, congratulations Mr Krabs.
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Hello, I like money.
Perch Perkins: What inspired you to build the a second Krusty Krab right next to the original?
Mr. Eugene H. Krabs: Money!
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: [Finds SpongeBob in his shower with him] SpongeBob! What are you DOING in here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I have to tell you something, Squidward.
Squidward Tentacles: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?
SpongeBob SquarePants: There's no shower at work.
Squidward Tentacles: What do you WANT?
SpongeBob SquarePants: I just wanted to let you know I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.
Squidward Tentacles: [shouts] GET OUT!
[kicks SpongeBob out of the window]
SpongeBob SquarePants: [cheerfully, on the ground] Okay! I'll see you at the ceremony!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [pulling up to the gas station with Patrick in the patty wagon - a hamburger on wheels] Fill her up, please.
Attendant #1: [looking at the patty wagon slightly bemused] What'll it be, fellas? Mustard or ketchup?
Share thisMindy: Good luck, Spongebob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Wait, how did you know my name?
Mindy: Oh, I'm going to be queen of the sea someday! I've been learning the names of all the sea creatures.
Patrick Star: What's my name?
Mindy: That's easy! You're Patrick Star!
Patrick Star: [blushes and laughs, lovestruck]
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Cleanliness is next to managerliness.
Share this[the gas attendants are laughing at SpongeBob, Patrick and the Patty Wagon]
Patrick Star: Are they laughing at us?
SpongeBob SquarePants: No Patrick, they're laughing next to us.
Share thisMr. Eugene H. Krabs: [talking to SpongeBob] Look. What I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it kidager. You understandegar... I mean, you understand.
Share thisDavid Hasselhoff: [after Dennis stabs him in the butt] Take it easy back there fellas
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: I'm ready! Promotion! I'm ready! Promotion!...
Share thisKing Neptune: Mindy, what is this?
Mindy: Your crown?
King Neptune: And do you know what it does?
Mindy: Cover up your bald spot?
King Neptune: It's not bald! It's... thinning.
Share thisDavid Hasselhoff: Ya done good Hasselhoff, ya done...
[giant flame comes from the Bikini Bottom and burns David Hasselhoff]
David Hasselhoff: [quietly] Ow.
Share thisPlankton: [after placing a fake call to Mr. Krabs and hearing King Neptune scream over the phone] Plan Z. I love Plan Z!
Share thisPlankton: [Spongebob is running after stepping on Plankton] OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Eww, I think I stepped in something.
Plankton: Not in something, ON SOMEONE, you twit!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [the morning after getting "drunk" on icecream] My... friend?
[notices an unconscious Patrick]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Patrick! HEYWHASSUPBUDDY-?
[falls over]
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Run, Patrick!
Patrick Star: No. I'm tired of running. If we run now, we'll never st...
[Dennis swats him aside]
Patrick Star: Aaaah! Run, SpongeBob!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: Sorry to rain on your parade, Plankton.
Plankton: Oh, don't worry about me. My parade will be quite dry, under my... umbrella!
[pulls on a chain]
SpongeBob SquarePants, Mindy, Patrick Star: Umbrella?
[a Chum Bucket bucket helmet drops on Neptune]
Mindy: Daddy, no!
Plankton: Daddy, yes!
[pushes button on remote]
King Neptune: [Bucket activates] All hail Plankton.
Share thisPatrick Star: SpongeBob, what happened?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Plankton cheated.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Cheated?
[Now to Neptune]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Hold on there, baldy.
[Now to SpongeBob]
Sheldon J. Plankton: Oh, grow up. What, you think this is a game of kickball on the playground? You never had a chance to defeat me, fool! And you know why?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Because you cheated?
Sheldon J. Plankton: No, not because I cheated! Because I'm an evil genius. And you're just a kid.
[laughing]
Sheldon J. Plankton: A stupid kid!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I guess you're right, Plankton.
[looks down]
SpongeBob SquarePants: I am just a kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton: Of course I'm right. Okay, Neptune, time to kill.
SpongeBob SquarePants: And you know, I've been through a lot in the past six days, five minutes, twenty-seven-and-a-half seconds. And if I've learned anything during that time, it's that you are who you are.
Sheldon J. Plankton: That's right. Okay, Neptune...
SpongeBob SquarePants: And no amount of mermaid magic...
[Turns to Mindy]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... or managerial promotion...
[Turns to the frozen Mr. Krabs]
SpongeBob SquarePants: ... or some other third thing... can make me anything more than what I really am inside: A kid.
Sheldon J. Plankton: That's great. Now, get back against the wall.
SpongeBob SquarePants: [over microphone] But that's okay!
Sheldon J. Plankton: What? What's going on?
SpongeBob SquarePants: Because I did what everyone said a kid COULDN'T do! I made it to Shell City, and I beat the Cyclops, and I rode the Hasselhoff, and I brought the crown BACK!
Sheldon J. Plankton: All right, we get the point.
SpongeBob SquarePants: So, yeah, I'm a kid!
[the lights go down, dry ice smoke surrounds SpongeBob, and a spotlight falls on him]
SpongeBob SquarePants: And I'm also a goofball! And a wing nut! And a Knucklehead McSpazatron!
Sheldon J. Plankton: [coughs from the smoke] What's going on here?
SpongeBob SquarePants: But most of all, I'm...
Sheldon J. Plankton: Okay, settle down. Take it easy!
SpongeBob SquarePants: I'm... I'M...
Sheldon J. Plankton: WHAT THE SCALLOP?
SpongeBob SquarePants: [bursts into song] I'M A GOOFY GOOBER! ROCK!
Share thisPlankton: [as he's being arrested] Come on, can't you take a joke? Wasn't that funny? With the monuments and the buildings? Wasn't that hilarious? I will destroy all of you!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [crying in bar, then sits up] Alright, get it together, old boy. I know, I'll just stop thinking about it.
[pause]
SpongeBob SquarePants: Hey, you know, I actually feel a little better. I don't even remember why I was sad!
Patrick Star: Hey, it's the new Krusty Krab 2 manager!
[SpongeBob starts crying again]
Patrick Star: Wow, the pressure's already setting in.
Share thisPatrick Star: Hey, look. Free ice-cream.
SpongeBob SquarePants: Oh, boy!
[SpongeBob runs to the "ice-cream booth" surrounded by piles of bones and skulls]
Patrick Star: [to a skull] How you doing?
[Looks around and sees the piles of bones and skulls]
Patrick Star: Wait a minute. Wait a minute! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob SquarePants: Yeah?
Patrick Star: Make mine a chocolate!
Share thisSpongeBob SquarePants: [drunk from too much ice cream] All right folks, this one goes out to my two bestest friends in the whole world: Patrick, and this big peanut guy! It's a little ditty called..."WAITER!"
Share thisSquidward Tentacles: Who turned on the AC?
[Sees the frozen Mr. Krabs]
Squidward Tentacles: Mr Krabs! Oh no, this is terrible! Who's going to sign my paycheck?
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