Gladiatress (2004)

User Rating:

4.1/10   

Director:

Brian Grant

Writer:

Nick Whitby (written by)

Release Date:

19 August 2004 (Australia)

Genre:

Comedy

Tagline:

Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?

Plot:

This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

Plot Keywords:

Shirtless | Rescue Mission | Slapping | Kidnapping | Fight

Cast

David Hayman	...	General Rhinus
Ronan Vibert	...	Caesar
Philippe De Grossouvre	...	Jean Marcosivellauniviromandiboule / Young Gaul
Doon Mackichan	...	Dwyfuc
Fiona Allen	...	Smirgut the Fierce
Sally Phillips	...	Worthaboutapig
Rory MacGregor	...	Male Dubonni Warrior
Pam Ferris	...	Mrs. Goatsplitter
Brendan O'Hea	...	Welsh Suitor
William Chubb	...	Chamberlain
Dorian MacDonald	...	Geordie Suitor
Nicola Stephenson	...	Elderly Dubonni Woman
Marcia Warren	...	Queen Tuathfhlaifthfth
Dermot Keaney	...	French Speaker
Bruno Lastra	...	Messenger

Runtime:

89 min

Country:

UK

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Certification:

Iceland:LH | Netherlands:16 | Finland:K-15 | Singapore:M18 | Singapore:PG (cut) | UK:15 | Australia:M

Filming Locations:

UK

Company:

Mission Pictures

Trivia:

The principal location was the same Surrey woodland used as "Germania" in Gladiator (2000). The production also used costumes made for the big budget film it was spoofing.

Not great, not horrible - more like mediocre

It's funny how people apparently either hate or love this movie. Every user comment either gives it a "1" rating or above a "7" - it's a good thing we have the average, then, which in this case for once is actually very accurate: this movie is worth about a "4".

It has funny elements, though not many for a movie that's supposed to be a comedy. The portrayal of Celtic-Britannic culture (incl. some Picts) is entertaining and even a little educational, and the movie's main strength lies in its realistic portrayal of what would happen to someone who tried to rescue a family member from being kidnapped by the Romans: she becomes a slave herself.

The funniest thing about the movie is probably the way we have Worthaboutapig crossing the English channel and then instantly thinking that the Roman colony she finds there ("Boulogne" = Paris) is actually Rome itself. For some ignorant clan member who's never been to the continent before, and certainly never seen the capital of a major civilization (to say nothing of a map), that's actually extremely realistic. And the anachronistic line "When in Rome...!" just has that extra little punch, when we know that she isn't actually in Rome after all.

There are a bunch of details to like in this movie - the production values, for instance, and that terrifically nonchalant German gladiator, Schlaffwaffe -, but it's just not funny enough, overall. It's too understated, has very few scenes approaching the memorable, and just strikes me as too self-indulgent. Fart and crotch jokes abound, which are tasteless and unfunny. The characters are cardboards. As a whole the movie is a disappointment, but at least it marginally holds your interest throughout. That, at least, is something.