Gladiatress (2004)

This sword and sandals movie is an off-the-wall comedy adventure about three unlikely heroines, who set out to save Celtic Britain, by thwarting the Roman invasion in their own unique and outrageous style.

Director:

Brian Grant

Writer:

Nick Whitby

Stars:

David Hayman, Ronan Vibert, Philippe De Grossouvre

Cast

Cast overview, first billed only:
David Hayman	...	General Rhinus
Ronan Vibert	...	Caesar
Philippe De Grossouvre	...	Jean Marcosivellauniviromandiboule / Young Gaul
Doon Mackichan	...	Dwyfuc
Fiona Allen	...	Smirgut the Fierce
Sally Phillips	...	Worthaboutapig
Rory MacGregor	...	Male Dubonni Warrior
Pam Ferris	...	Mrs. Goatsplitter
Brendan O'Hea	...	Welsh Suitor
William Chubb	...	Chamberlain
Dorian MacDonald	...	Geordie Suitor
Nicola Stephenson	...	Elderly Dubonni Woman
Marcia Warren	...	Queen Tuathfhlaifthfth
Dermot Keaney	...	French Speaker
Bruno Lastra	...	Messenger

Storyline

When a particularly sissy Caesar orders his general Rhinus to proceed with the conquest of Britain, which is just a mosaic of inter-warring Celtic tribes related to the Gauls he already subjugated, those send Marcosivellauniviromandiboule (aka Young Gaul) to the Dubonni, a measly tribe where three sisters play a leading role, and therefore see the messenger foremost as an ideal catch for the unmarried youngest; his bed-test goes great, while a Roman attack on the rivaling neighbor Kent tribe is welcomed without any strategic foresight. Nevertheless the Roman war machine rolls on, so war must be engaged, however again in their, female-shaped way.

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Plot Keywords:

heroine | sword | sword and sandal | hand to hand combat | kiss | 

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Taglines:

Does my gluteus maximus look big in this?

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Genres:

Adventure | Comedy

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Details

Country:

UK

Language:

English French

Release Date:

19 August 2004 (Australia)

Also Known As:

As Gladiadoras

Filming Locations:

UK

Company Credits

Production Co:

Mission Pictures, Stock Productions

Technical Specs

Runtime:

89 min

Sound Mix:

Dolby Digital

Color:

Color

Did You Know?

Trivia

Was released three years after wrapping.

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Connections

Spoofs Gladiator (2000)

User Reviews

Hide it from your girlfriend

The idiotic cover almost stopped me from watching the movie, because it seemed to indicate this could be moronic rubbish like "Meet the Spartans" again, but fortunately it's something completely different. First, they really got their historical background right. The explanation how the Romans could conquer Gallia and Britannia - not simply by brute force, but let proxies fight their wars for them and fight tribes separately which were enemies of each other - is given better than in most serious movies about that period. Asking the question "were some slaves actually satisfied with their primitive life without any rights"? like Worthaboutapig is probably more realistic than the heroic rebels of Spartacus movies, since Spartacus was the exception not the rule when it comes to self-sacrifice, but it's all quite politically incorrect to ask, I bet.

This is one of the funniest movies I've watched in the last couple of years. It's dominated by three women who fight against all odds ("I must warn you, I'm a Celtic warrior princess. I can kill a man in 17 different ways. 18, if you include cooking") which is of course unusual in the genre but works extremely well since their characters are so extremely different. Hide the DVD from your girlfriend, though, it may give her ideas...