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And I only watched the first 25 minutes. It is inconcievable to me that
anyone could make a film this hopelessly, endlessly, mind-meltingly
bad. This is not a bad movie - it's a war crime. Somehow the producers
actually managed to cast supporting players bad enough to make Kelly
Clarkson and even the talent free Justin Guarini seem good by
The alleged "choreography" ammounts to nothing more than frantic flailing of limbs. Accents come and go with wild abandon. The songs are, to put it charitably, forgettable. I'm surprised "American Idol" judge Randy Jackson isn't credited as a writer, because the dialouge is that witless and badly phrased.
This is the worst thing humanity has ever done.
Yes, it finally came on cable. And, in order to keep up my credentials
as an expert on badfilm, I had to deal with this monstrosity sooner or
later. So, without further ado...
Who thought this was a good idea? Trying to make a quick buck off of a flavor-of-the-week TV show I can understand, but who thought this had any chance of success? Too retarded for anyone over 14; too campy and too much like a "Gidget" remake for the 9-14 set; too much skin for the "Barney the Dinosaur" crowd. Not enough plot for a 30 minute sitcom, and every teensploiter movie cliché ever, without either the humor (the saving grace for the good ones) or the nudity (sometimes, the saving grace for the bad ones). Anyway, a few random notes:
1. One of the first songs was Kelly Clarkson's remake of "Vacation" by the Go-Go's. I always considered this to be a light, bouncy pop song. That was, of course, until Kelly and her overproduction team sucked the life out of it. Now as bouncy as a Complin Service, this one made me wish for a brief return of the early, punk, Go-Go's, who probably would have roughed up anyone who did one of their songs this badly.
2. Justin, teen heartthrob? He is so thin I might be able to tie a string to him and fly him on a high wind day! With that 'fro, he looks a little like a pipe cleaner. Note to the Director: having Justin wear a black shirt when all the other guys in a song set are shirtless is not hiding anything; he sticks out like, well like a black pipe cleaner in a sea of artificial tan.
3. Aw, look: the obvious backstabbing friend/ nemesis slut girl with the hee-haw southern accent is trying to steal Kelly's scenes away from her by overacting in contrast to Kelly's underacting! Sorry, young lady obviously chosen for your ability to pack a small swimsuit: nobody who cares is watching.
4. Justin's "nerd" friend/ sidekick: you can almost see the lineage trace lines, going back through far superior nerd/ sidekicks ("Better off Dead," "Ferris Bueller's Day off"), all the way back to the early "Beach Party" movies and Rebel Without a Cause. In fact, his clothes seem to be lifted from the outfits from the early "Beach Party" movies' nerd/sidekick wardrobes; if they actually date from the early 1960's, they might be considered retro/cool in some circles and thus worth more than the rest of this film.
5. Oh, the intense chemistry between Justin and Kelly... Really, I am serious. Oh, yes. Alan Rickman and Kate Winslet, in Sense and Sensibility, were an overflowing cauldron of unrestrained sexual passion compared to these two. If Justin was trying to dispel those "man's man" rumors, this did nothing to help.
How to get the movie to go from sluggish to dead in the water: Justin and Kelly, alone, in a scene for more than five seconds.
6. Kelly's nice black friend is being taken to a ritzy Latin nightclub, which is located in...an abandoned corrugated metal shack??? I need to check that abandoned building on the next block; the Cotton Club might have started a branch there. Mitigating factor: the Latin dancers were way more talented than the blandly white beach dancers in the other scenes.
7. OK, Kelly, so you admire Bjork. I can see you appreciate her independence, willingness to go her own way, and most of all given your situation, her career longevity. If you want to do a homage to Bjork, altering your bland, middle-of-the-road song delivery would be a good place to start. Your hairdo was, in fact, not a good place to start.
8. Hee-haw girl does a bad impersonation of Madonna's "Material Girl" video. Which means, of course, she is doing an even worse second-derivative impersonation of Marilyn Monroe. This has no purpose other than to satisfy some requirement in her contract that she got to be the lead in one song number.
9. Telepathic singing? Oh, no- "Glitter" flashbacks!
10. Justin in a game of hovercraft dodge-ball? The stunt double must be a girl to get the sizes right. Oh, look, the danger: he has lost control of a motorized inflatable hovercraft in three feet of warm water!
11. Hee-haw evil girl is proud of notching up various studs, and now she is hitting on- Justin???
12. THAT was how evil hee-haw girl's plots were discovered? Did the budget get pulled, and they needed a way of wrapping up the plot faster than you could say "Deus Ex Machina?"
13. The final massive musical number: a K.C. and the Sunshine Band cover! While deeply painful on so many levels (including watching nerd-boy dance), at least they mangled an already bad song, rather than torture a once respectable song.
Anyway, yes, this movie is just as bad as you have heard.
IMDb should consider creating a "0" rating below the current "1".
The description should read "dreadful".
Truly, a complete waste of time and resources.
This is the one aspect of being a father I can do without: Having to sit through an 82 minute eternity of this garbage.
The acting by these two American Idol "stars" is naturally primitive, however, one would think ("one" being the producers who are responsible for the millions of dollars it takes for a major motion picture) that someone would have given these kids acting lessons.
What may even be more frightening is that this picture probably made oodles of money.
Sometimes it is embarrassing to be an American.
Miss this one.
After 23 years a movie comes along and achieves what I previously
thought was impossible. "From Justin to Kelly" usurps "Can't Stop the
Music" as the worst musical of all time. It even surpasses such
landmark musical turkeys as "Grease 2", "At Long Last Love", "Staying
Alive" and "Lost Horizon".
The two "leads" have no charisma, no screen presence and no acting ability. Their first movie will probably be their last. Just because a person can be successful in music, doesn't mean they have talent in the acting department. Madonna has proved this theory.
The movie contains some of the most banal dialogue in film history. The screenplay isn't underwritten but unwritten. Calling the music "forgettable" would be a kindness. The choreography is also inept.
After rubbing my eyes in disbelief and removing my earplugs, I was astonished to note that film's running time was only 81 minutes. However, it felt like 3 hours. Needless to say I will not be subjecting myself to the "extended version."
"From Justin to Kelly" is simply a slapdash quickie designed to cash in on the success of 'American Idol.' The movie is an insult even to fans of the TV show.
Because I generally only give 'zero stars' to movies I find offensive, I will award "From Justin to Kelly" 1/2 star (out of four).
There are bad movies. There are really bad movies. And then there's this one. Morbid curiosity compelled me to seek it out, just so I could see for myself exactly how dreadful it was. I got about eight minutes into the 'film' before I suddenly developed an overwhelming urge to run around hitting things very, very hard. Still, 'From Justin To Kelly' really is a must see flick if you have any dreams of breaking into the movies, because believe me, if utter garbage like this can be solicited, then quite literally anybody's got a shot.
Before Kelly Clarkson actually started producing some decent pop, this
was pretty much the only product of American Idol for a bit. And what
an product it was. The sheer lack of enthusiasm put forward in this
movie is, to say the least, daunting.
Set during a spring break, Kelly, the clichéd Texan girl who wants to be a big singer but is stuck in a lowly bar, runs into Justin, who smiles an abnormally large amount and has a really, seriously ridiculous perm. I mean, come on. It looks like cotton candy. They both go to Florida, and watch loads of "babes" and do a bunch of PG-13 related spring break hi-jinks, of which there aren't many. Hence why they're college hi-jinks. Doi.
Anyway, after a rather dumb meet cute between Justin and Kelly, the plot, which would have difficulty filling up a 22 minute sitcom let alone this 90 minute trash fest, begins to unfold. Basically, Kelly's blonde friend wants Justin, and he wants Kelly, so to get revenge on him, she gives him her phone number, and then makes it look like Kelly doesn't care about him. I'm sure you can imagine the complex and thought provoking scenarios that this could spin out into, but don't hurt yourself.
A quick note on the musical numbers: you have a mute button. Employ it LIBERALLY. Thank you.
Obviously, From Justin to Kelly is meant for twelve year old girls, who have seen the same plot a couple of dozen times before, only this time it doesn't involve Barbie and/or Fairies (insert joke here). If you are a twelve year old girl, go rent Sleepover. It's much better than this, and it has cute boys. If you're not a twelve year old girl (which is a good thing), stay, stay away from this factory made piece of crap.
Couldn't believe my eyes at this shameful, pathetic excuse for a movie. It isn't even a movie, just an excuse for the producers to squeeze a few extra dollars out of last year's American Idol finalists. I feel sorry for director Robert Iscove; not because I think his films are any good, but because this movie will permanently discredit him as a director. 1/10, and that's only because there's no '0' option.
I was forced to go see this with a friend for her birthday. I knew it would be dumb but thought that it would at least be something to laugh at. It was one of those rare movies that is too bad even for perverse entertainment. As it began I thought well the story will be stupid but maybe it will have good songs. The songs were the worst part! The transitions into these musical numbers were so awkward. And the songs themselves were not remotely entertaining. Kelly comes off as likable in the movie but I grew to despise every other character in the space of 15 minutes. I don't see this becoming a cult classic. It also made me feel relieved that I never went to Florida for Spring Break. Kelly Clarkson is a sweet girl but she should stick to singing and get a new agent.
This movie is terrible because it was made 40 years too late. The American Idol hype fueled the studios ambition to crank out a quick blah blah story about Justin and Kelly. The end result, a soup sandwich with no audience. The fact that what works on television doesn't always work on the "big screen," is true in the case of From Justin to Kelly. The production value is professional and many of the dance numbers took long hours and hours to practice and to get right. Still, nobody cares. The movie itself (on paper) was a joke to begin with. There are only a handful of lines worth hearing through this 90 minute movie. The rest can be considered pop-culture junk or better yet, left overs that nobody wants to have for dinner.
This is a poor attempt to capitalize on the popularity of the American Idol show. Unfortunately they chose to use the people rejected from the show as cast. Save the ticket fee this one comes out on video in July. Or you can keep an eye on the Late, Late, Late Show, you will see this one with its twin Glitter.
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