- Dad: Oh sorry, son. I blew all your college tuition. Hey, cheer up. It's no big deal. You don't care if you don't get an education or ever have sex, do you? You don't care if your life and dreams all go down the shitter and you're a penniless bum with no life for the rest of your life! All right, I'm off to the gay bar.
- James Gunn: I'm now a famous Hollywood bitch, I mean I had to sacrifice a small baby for Satan, but things are so much better now.
- [gets 40 dollars for his friend's college money]
- Racoon Head: Yeah, that will totally pay for college!
- The Crap Keeper: I have found Lenin's tomb, I don't know where Ringo or the other Beatles are though.
- 'Aristocrats!' Guy: There is this manager called Barney Gorgle. Do you know him? Barney Gorgle, he's a famous manager.
- Narrator: Meanwhile, in the hall of Justice!
- [a shot of the Troma Building]
- Troma Entertainment Employee: This movie cost HOW much?