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Cellular (2004) Poster

(2004)

Quotes

[after slashing a kidnapper's arm with a shard of glass]

Jessica Martin: Tenth grade biology. Brachial artery... pumps 30 liters of blood a minute. There's only five in the human body. I'm sorry.

Ethan: [on walkie talkie] We found him yet?

Dmitri: No, I don't see him.

Ethan: He's the one on the cell phone, you idiot.

[looks through his binoculars and sees various people on cell phones]

Dmitri: Everybody's on a cell phone.

Ryan: You know, it does me no good to hand over the video tape and then you guys turn around and take us out.

Greer: I swore I wouldn't do that.

Ryan: Like you swore "to protect and serve"?

Jack Tanner: I think all the chemicals from that beauty salon have gotten to your head.

Mooney: It's a *day spa*, you fuck.

[Mooney hesitates, then shows Tanner Ryan's cell phone, front facing Tanner's face]

Ryan: "Ricky Martin"? You named your kid "Ricky Martin"?

[Talking to the fake Jessica Martin]

Mooney: We had a report of a possible kidnapping. You haven't been kidnapped today, have you?

[Chuckles]

[after he views the tape]

Ryan: I'm a dead man.

[Mooney shoots someone for the first time in his entire career]

Mooney: 27 years. 27 years without this shit!

[last lines]

Jessica Martin: I don't know if there's anything I could ever do to thank you

Ryan: I do. Don't ever call me again.

Chad: [seeing Ryan with a box of fliers to pass out] Haha - that sucks.

[Ryan shoves the box at him]

Chad: No way! This sucks more!

Ryan: [after stealing the lawyer's car] Ohh, I am in deep shit!

Ryan: Look, give me your phone or I shoot your car.

WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh, hell no, hell no. Why would you do something awful like that?

[first lines]

Ricky Martin: Mom, will you still be a science teacher when I get into high school?

Jessica Martin: Hmm... You never know. Why?

Ricky Martin: 'Cause I think it'd be kind of weird to have your mom as a teacher.

Ryan: From here on out, you do as I say, exactly as I say. Or I slap this bitch on "Nightline" and call it a day, okay?

Jessica Martin: When I didn't show up for work today someone called the police, I'm sure.

Greer: You better hope they didn't.

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[Greer has Ryan pinned down and is about to shoot him]

Mooney: Let him up.

[Greer looks up and sees Mooney pointing a gun at him]

Ryan: Help me. They're dirty cops!

Greer: He attacked my partner. He tried to kill me.

Mooney: I said, "Let him up."

Greer: You're going to believe this lying piece of shit over a cop?

Mooney: It doesn't matter what I believe. What's important is that you believe I will put a bullet in your skull if you don't let him up.

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Chad: [greeting girls at the pier] Hey Chloe. Sam. Friend with nipples.

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WLSUU2 Lawyer: [trying to get his car out of the impound lot] Okay, fine... I'm getting out my checkbook. Who do I make it out to? "Lady Who Sucks?"

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Ryan: [Ryan and Ethan are discussing a place to meet] Santa Monica Pier.

Ethan: No, too busy.

Ryan: Yeah, that's kind of the idea, dickhead.

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[talking to Ryan on a payphone]

Chad: Dude, I have no idea what just happened. One minute I'm talking to nipples, next thing you know, I'm wearing a whale costume handing out flyers.

Ryan: [laughs] That sucks. Sounds like she got you.

Chad: I mean, I'm not saying it doesn't have its benefits.

[to two girls that pass him by]

Chad: Hey, you guys know that a blue whale's got an 11-foot penis? Heal the Bay.

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Ryan: Excuse me, are you a detective?

Detective Looking Guy: Detective? I'm a freaking victim here. Detective? Those freaks dragged me down here. And they're supposed to read me my rights.

[Ryan takes off]

Detective Looking Guy: And they - hey, where you going, you little punk?

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[Ryan accidentally dials an artist on a payphone at Santa Monica Pier trying to reach Jessica's kidnappers]

Ryan: I got what you're looking for.

Vietnamese Artist: Oh?

Ryan: Yeah.

Vietnamese Artist: Okay, and what I do for it?

Ryan: What?

Vietnamese Artist: What I do for what I looking for? You tell me now.

Ryan: Wait, who's this? What number did I call?

Vietnamese Artist: You call me on the payphone. You waste my time. I have pictures to draw.

Ryan: Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude. Chill out.

Vietnamese Artist: No, you don't tell me what to chill. My mother tell me to chill. I sit here, I draw people telling me to chill out all the time. You don't tell me what to chill. I chill you.

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WLSUU2 Lawyer: [Talking on his cell phone] I'm tellin' ya, I'm sitting in it right now. It's a brand new Porsche Carrera. The partners gave it to me. Mm-Hm, sugar. Brand new, arctic blue convertible. It goes zero to 60 in 5.2 seconds. Takes the girls' panties down in 3.5 seconds.

[Phone line gets suddenly disrupted by Jessica and Ryan]

WLSUU2 Lawyer: Hey, this is a private call. Get off my line! Mom, are you still there?

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WLSUU2 Lawyer: [after Ryan swerves his car in front of him] What the hell is your problem, man? What the hell is your problem? You want to tussle?

Ryan: [pulls out his gun] Give me your phone!

WLSUU2 Lawyer: Oh snaps.

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Ryan: [after shooting the number taker in the store] Now who's gonna give me that goddamn charger?

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Jessica Martin: [screaming and crying] You've got the wrong family! You've got the wrong family!

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Ethan: [to Jessica] Do you want to die here?

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Jessica Martin: [screaming and hitting Ethan as he threatens to kill her son] He's a baby, you bastard! He's a baby, he's a baby!

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Ryan: It's Chloe!

Chad: No, dude, don't do this! Don't do this!

Ryan: I'm just gonna say "hi."

Chad: You're not gonna say "hi."

Ryan: No "hi"?

Chad: No "hi."

Ryan: I can't say...

Chad: [shouts] Come on, man! Hold it together! This girl, she *dumped* you, all right? Have some self-respect, have some dignity!

Ryan: You're right.

Chad: Be strong.

Ryan: You're right.

Chad: Yeah.

Ryan: Thank you.

Chad: All right.

[he gets distracted by girls in bikinis]

Chad: Oh! What's goin' on, ladies?

[Ryan leaves to go talk to Chloe]

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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