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Imagine a parallel earth where vampires have cut a swath through humanity. The disease is so bad, the ravenous bloodsuckers begin feeding on each other. Three surviving humans create a jump gate to our earth. But, Alyssa, Queen of the Vampires, and her evil bodyguards use the gate to come to our earth as well. They arrive to feed and breed. Now, the number of vampires here is growing and the humans are running out of time! Written by
Imagine a porn movie that has vampires instead of porn ...
Overall grade: D- (avoids an F rating since the unintentionally-funny scenes will make you laugh out loud)
If you've seen your share of porn movies (and I know you have), then you've come to know that cheap, shot-with-a-camcorder "look" that most porn movies have. That's the same sort of cinematic quality you'll encounter with this vampire flick.
The quality of acting is, if anything, actually worse that what you'll see in your basic porn movie (don't even get me started on the acting of the guy who plays the priest - he makes everybody else look good).
This movie does have CGI, but I mean that only in the sense that technically it was made using a computer. We're not exactly talking "Shrek" here. This is more on par with what you'd see in a computer game from about 5 years ago. You'll love the computer-generated blood you see on the first vampire victims at the start of the film.
And what can you say about the plot? .... Well, that's about all you can say about it.
In short, if you want the perfectly bad movie to rip to shreds with your friends (as in MST 3K), this movie is the perfect choice.
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