If Footmen Tire You, What Will Horses Do? (1971)

User Rating:

4.0/10   

Director:

Ron Ormond

Writers:

Ron Ormond (screenplay)
Estus W. Pirkle (book)

Genre:

Drama

Plot:

Based on the preachings of Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, this film warns what will happen to America if...

Plot Keywords:

Bible | Laughing | Machine Gun | Severed Head | Candy

Cast

Judy Creech	...	Judy
Cecil Scaife	...	The Commissar
Gene McFall	...	Assisstant Commissar
Wes Saunders	...	Comrade Teacher
La Quinta Scaife
Jim Rose
Billy Kent
Jimmy Little
Carl Haselton
Joe Scaife
Nathan Blackwell
Max Cannon
Bell Kent
Bondy Kent
Greg Pirkle

Runtime:

52 min

Country:

USA

Language:

English

Color:

Color

Sound Mix:

Mono

Company:

The Ormond Organization

Funny, but incredibly despicable

I was checking out Youtube, and I happened to come across the beheading scene from the very end. I have to say, that was one of the funniest things that I have ever seen. The head was so much smaller than the boy's real one, the idea of it made no sense, and man, that communist's voice was all over the place. Then I also saw the reeducation scene (I don't taste any candy...), which was equally terrible, yet somehow beautiful. I was hoping the whole movie would be that amazing. It was. It had me laughing the whole time. All of the skits were truly amazing. The way that newscaster was talking about the pres-uh-dent was astounding. Every scene with that communist guy was great. The reverend was just so almost into his material that you couldn't help being amazed, and the constant montage of corpses just lying around. The torture methods were interesting too, and the bit where the guy has to shoot his mother... priceless. It's a pretty impressive film. However, I do have to take the note that this film represents everything that I hate about evangelical Christians. It has their scare tactics, their bizarre paranoia, their intense knowledge of biblical verses combined with no knowledge of the values the bible stands for. The whole thing feels like the guy believes in some giant sci-fi creature, a lot more like Star Trek's Q than like God. If you'll note, although the preacher says the ten commandments are important, that boy in the beheading sequence is pretty much giving his life for a GRAVEN IMAGE. That really irritated me. So this film is pretty funny, but I still hate every facet of its message. Oh, and by the way, although Stalin, Mao, and Fidel were terrible people, the actual economic system of communism doesn't imply a hatred of religion. It implies a spirit of charity and a love of the trampled proletariat. Another thing that annoyed me here.