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Uncredited cast:
Daniel Dubois ...
Voodoo Practitioner (segment: 'La Dagyde') / Torturous Monster (segment: 'Les Sexandroïdes') / Vampire (segment: 'Avec la Compagnine') (uncredited)


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I Might Have Been Queen
Written by Jeanette Obstoj, Rupert Hine and Jamie West-Oram
Performed by Tina Turner
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The Strangest Film I've Ever Seen...
31 January 2006 | by (St. John's Abortion Clinic) – See all my reviews

All I can say about SEXANDROIDE is...WTF?!?!?!? This is honestly one of THE STRANGEST films I've ever seen, and that's sayin' a lot. Since I don't know any factual details about the film, I'll give you my interpretation: SEXANDROIDE is a short "anthology"-style film. It's done in a "performance-art" style - much like watching a video of a play. It appears that the intention of the film was to mimic the "Grand Guignol" theater style performances that were popular in France in the late 1890's - 1960's. SEXANDROIDE looks just like something that I would expect to have seen on one of the stages in Paris - but with a more modern twist.

Act 1 is an intriguing little number about a drunk broad at a bar. Someone doesn't like this chick, because while she's sitting and enjoying a few cocktails, a man that we never fully see is making a voodoo doll of our poor pub-patron. Home-girl obviously had one too many and goes to the bathroom to puke. At this point Unknown-Man starts "playing" with his voodoo doll. First he rips it's clothes off - which is duplicated hilariously to our "heroine" in the bathroom. Next he stabs the doll in various places including her eyes, tits, and of course her vagina - which are all then interpreted physically to Drunk-Lady. He cuts the doll's throat, burns it's face, and hangs it - again, all which is then transferred to Drunk-Lady. END OF ACT 1.

Act 2 has a gothy looking chick descending some "creepy" stairs into a dungeon. She snoops around for a little bit and then some freak dressed in black with a hood covering his head shows up. Goth-chick is startled, and shoots the hooded guy several times. He lays there for a minute, then gets up and leaves (?!?). Once he's gone, Goth-chick strips and does a really ridiculous dance. Then she grabs a whip and starts flogging herself. Hood-man comes back and is pretty turned on by Goth-chick's little show. He pulls his mask off and reveals that he's some sort of really poorly made-up ghoul-thing. Now for the fun stuff...Ghoul-Man handcuffs Goth-chick to a chair and starts torturing her. He starts by piercing her nipples multiple times (which I'm pretty sure is real). When that's not enough, he takes a lllloooonnnnggg needle and runs it through the skin on the underside of her breast(note: I watched this film with my girl, she thinks this scene was faked, I think it was real - guess you'll have to decide for yourself if any of you decide to pick this one up...). He then takes a knife and cuts her face several times - then he hacks his own arm with the knife in cheesy-magician fashion. Next, he graphically stabs one of her eyes out (which was apparently a "staple scene" of the traditional Grand Guignol theater...), then stabs her in the chest. Ghoul-Man then stabs himself in the stomach and pulls his guts out. They lay together on the ground for a while, then they both get up, Ghoul-Man gives Goth-Chick a rose, and they both walk back upstairs (?!?!?!?!). END OF ACT 2. This one was sufficiently gory and sleazy, and plays like a mix of FLOWERS OF FLESH AND BLOOD meets THE WIZARD OF GORE on 14 hits of acid...

Now for the absolute STRANGENESS that is Act 3. A heavily made-up guy is laying in a coffin. A pretty hot chick in "mourning" attire comes in to look at the dead guy. Coffin-guy (who turns out to be a vampire...) wakes up, gets out of the coffin, and starts groping Hot-mourner. He then "violently" tears all her clothes off (in pretty hilarious fashion, as you can tell that she's trying to help him with her tights because the Vampire is having some trouble with them...), and bites her on the neck. Vampire goes back and lays in his coffin - Hot-Mourner appears to be dead...or is she???...When Hot-Mourner get's back up, she's wearing ridiculous vampire make-up and some fake dollar store fangs. She then starts doing a ridiculous dance (that looks like something that you would see in a low-rent strip-club in West Virginia

  • but this chick's hotter than most you would see up there...) to TINA

TURNER MUSIC !!!???!!!. OK...stop tape people...this has officially become one of, if not THE strangest thing I've ever seen on film. The crazy make-up Mourner chick doing a stripper dance to Tina Turner music is so unexpected that I almost spit my mouthful of cheap bourbon all over my girlfriend. Don't believe me? Ask her or track this one down for yourself...anyway...After dancing to not one, but TWO Tina Turner joints, our Hot-Mourner-Turned-Vampire-Turned-Stripper climbs into the coffin with Vampire-man and dry humps him for a little bit. I guess the Count gets tired of us watching, and hangs a "do not disturb" sign on the side of his coffin and shuts the lid. END OF ACT 3.

First off, I'm not sure that my above descriptions really do justice to just how strange and entertaining this Z-grade "masterpiece" really is. SEXANDROIDE has absolutely everything that you could want from this sort of production - "interesting" story lines, tons of gore and nudity, and NAKED TINA TURNER DANCING!!! I honestly hadn't seen such inept stripping since the last time I was in Tijuana. All three ACTS showed originality, some good gore FX (in the case of the first 2...), and lots of gratuitous full-frontal in all three episodes. I really enjoyed the hell out of this one. Total schlock at it's "finest" that will probably only really appeal to exploit/gore fans. This one reminded me of an H.G. Lewis film if it was done in the 80's as a play
  • and with NAKED TINA TURNER DANCING!!! (sorry, just can't get over

that part...). 9/10 from me on just a straight enjoyment level. Most others will think it's trash.

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