Quotes

Dewey Finn: Now raise your goblet of rock. It's a toast to those who rock!

Dewey Finn: You, Freddy, what do you like to do?

Freddy: I dunno.

[pause]

Freddy: Burn stuff?

Dewey Finn: Now, what makes you mad more than anything in the world?

[sees Billy who has his hand raised]

Dewey Finn: Billy?

Billy: You.

Dewey Finn: Billy, we've already told me off. Let's move on.

Billy: You're tacky and I hate you!

Dewey Finn: Okay, you see me after class!

Dewey Finn: [on sticking it to "The Man"] Yes! But, you can't just say it, man. You've gotta feel it in you're blood and guts! If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at the man! And right now, I'm the man. That's right, I'm the man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off?

Freddy: Shut the hell up, Schneebly!

Dewey Finn: That's it Freddy, that's it! Who can top him?

Alicia: Get outta here, stupidass.

Dewey Finn: Yes, Alicia!

Summer Hathaway: You're a joke, you're the worst teacher I've ever had!

Dewey Finn: Summer, that is great! I like the delivery because I felt your anger!

Summer Hathaway: Thank you.

Lawrence: You're a fat loser and you have body odor.

Dewey Finn: ...All right, all right! Now, is everybody nice and pissed off?

Dewey Finn: Ok, here's the deal. I have a hangover. Who knows what that means?

Frankie: Doesn't that mean you're drunk?

Dewey Finn: No. It means I was drunk yesterday.

Freddy: It means you're an alcoholic.

Dewey Finn: Wrong.

Freddy: You wouldn't come to work with a hangover unless you were an alcoholic. Dude, you got a disease!

Dewey Finn: Hmmm... hmmm... What's your name?

Freddy: Freddy Jones.

Dewey Finn: Ok, Freddy Jones, shut up!

Miss Mullins: Sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Lemmons said that she heard music coming from the classroom.

Dewey Finn: Uh oh, it looks like Mrs. Lemmons is on crack, right kids?

Rosalie Mullins: I've just been informed that all your children are missing.

Dewey Finn: Does anyone play drums?

Freddy: I play percussion.

Frankie: Yea, that's cause he couldn't play anything else!

Freddy: Shut up!

Dewey Finn: In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight... to the guitar bite... and for those about to rock... I salute you.

Dewey Finn: God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

Freddy: Come on man, we're on a mission. One great rock show can change the world... look out the window...

Dewey Finn: [seeing bus and students] No way! That's so punk rock.

Dewey Finn: Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

Dewey Finn: Does any one have any food?

[no one raises their hands]

Dewey Finn: No, you're not gonna get in trouble. I'm hungry.

Dewey Finn: Look the first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So who do you like? Blondie?

Marta: Christina Aguilera

Dewey Finn: Who? No. Come on. What? You, Shortstop.

Leonard: Puff Daddy

Dewey Finn: Wrong. Billy?

Billy: Liza Minnelli?

Rosalie Mullins: The thing is, Mr. Schneebly

Dewey Finn: Please... call me Dewey.

[Realising his mistake]

Dewey Finn: Ned. Ned. I was thinking of my other name. My middle name.

[improvising an educational song]

Dewey Finn: Math is a wonderful thing. Math is a really cool thing. So get off your ath, let's do some math. Math, math, math, math, math. Three minus four is?

Summer Hathaway: Negative one.

Dewey Finn: That's right. And six times a billion is?

Marco: Six billion?

Dewey Finn: Nailed it. And fifty-four is forty-five more than what is the answer, Marta?

Marta: Nine.

Dewey Finn: No, it's eight.

Marta: ...No, it's nine.

Dewey Finn: ...Yes, I was testing you... it's nine. And that's a magic number.

Dewey Finn: You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass. And if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head.

Dewey Finn: Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!

Dewey Finn: Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the big thing?

Katie: Cello.

Dewey Finn: Ok. This is a bass guitar. And it's the exact same thing but instead of playing it like this you tip it on the side... cello, you got a bass.

Dewey Finn: [showing Lawrence a long, complicated handshake] Let's, rock, let's, rock, today.

Dewey Finn: And we're gonna start a revolution ok? And You're gonna be a funny little footnote on my epic ass!

Summer Hathaway: Groupie?

Dewey Finn: What's the matter?

Summer Hathaway: You want me to be a groupie?

Dewey Finn: Well... a groupie's an important job.

Summer Hathaway: I researched groupies on the Internet.They're sluts!They sleep with the band!

Dewey Finn: No, that's not true. They're like cheerleaders.

Freddy: Rock isn't about getting an A. Sex Pistols never won anything.

Dewey Finn: Listen! You can't leave. You haven't heard our band.

Battle of the Bands director: Sorry, the bill is full. We're already overbooked.

Dewey Finn: No, let us just play one song. We're all here, we're ready to go.

Battle of the Bands director: [looks at the kids] Who are they?

Dewey Finn: They're my band.

Battle of the Bands director: Kids? What is this, some kind of gimmick?

Dewey Finn: No, it's not a gimmick. I know, they're kids, but they're awesome. Just listen!

Battle of the Bands director: Look, thanks for comin' down, but you're really not what we're looking for.

Dewey Finn: [throws his chair across the floor] You listen to me! These kids have worked their little fingers to the bone just to play one song for you so you just sit down, shut up and listen!

Battle of the Bands director: Sheila, call security.

Leonard: You mean we're not in the band?

Dewey Finn: [Assigning positions to the band members] Lead guitar... Zack Attack. On bass... Posh Spice. On keyboards, Mr. Cool. And on drums, Spazzy McGee. OK, Blondie, Brace Face, you're singing backup. All right, Tough Guy, Shortstop, Fancy Pants, get over here. You're on security detail.

Billy: Can I be the band stylist instead?

Dewey Finn: Of course you can, Fancy Pants. OK. Carrot Top, Roadrunner, Turkey Sub, we're gonna have a lot of equipment... And you three...

[looking at the three tiny girls]

Dewey Finn: groupies... As for me, I will be singing lead vocal and shredding guitar.

[during a jam session that takes place over the film's closing credits, Zack performs a "face melter" on his electric guitar. Dewey appears next to him with his face contorted]

Dewey Finn: Dude, is my face okay? I think you melted it off.

Mrs. Lemmons: Would you care to join us, Mr Schneebly

Dewey Finn: Yeah

Mrs. Lemmons: Did I say that correctly? "Schneebly"

Dewey Finn: Actually it's "Schnayblay"

Dewey Finn: I'll have the rent by the end of the week, go tell the mayor.

Dewey Finn: [when Ned asks him to sell one of his guitars] Would you tell Picasso to sell one of his guitars?

Patty Di Marco: Oh, my God! He's an *idiot*!

Dewey Finn: Go! Play! Have fun! Now!

Dewey Finn: [sung to the kids] In the end of time, there was a man who knew the road. And the writing was written on the stone. In the ancient time, an artist led the way, but no one seemed to understand. In his heart he knew, the artist must be true, but the legend of the rent was way past due! Well you think you'll be just fine without me, but you're mine! You think you can kick me out of the band? Well there's just one problem there. The band is mine! How can you kick me out of what is mine? Well you're not hardcore unless you live hardcore, but the legend of the rent was way hardcore!

Dewey Finn: [singing] Come on come on come on/Touch me babe, bada bada, can't you see/ that I am not afraid, shaga tada!/ Lawrence is good at piano/He shall be rocking in my show, shaga tada!