Ben: Bucky Friggin' Dent!
Ryan: You love the Red Sox, but have they ever loved you back?
Ben: Who do you think you are, Dr. Phil? Go on, get outta here!
Ben: Yeah, she's great. Definitely the best girlfriend I've had. The sex was...
[stops because of Ryan]
Ryan: Okay, Mr. Wrightman, I gotta bat but let me leave you with this advice - you love the sox but have they ever loved you back?
Ben: What are you? Dr. Phil? Get outta here go... go swing the bat.
Lindsey Meeks: [the Yankee Red Sox game is on] No, it's the game!
[holding Ben's ears]
Ben: No, I'm fine. It's just a game.
Ben: So let's start the interrogation.
Molly: No, No, it's not like that.
Ian: [finishes his drink and hands it to Ben] Here, for the urine test.
Ben: Aw, really? I wish you would have told me I just wizzed in your bushes.
Lindsey Meeks: So you don't have a cell phone, a pager, a blackberry nothing? What if some sudden crisis occurs like your father has a heart attack or something?
Ben: My father died two years ago.
Lindsey Meeks: Oh, I'm sorry.
Ben: No, actually I just found out this morning so it's been a rough 24 hours. You know, maybe I should get a cell phone.
Lindsey Meeks: [laughs] You're funny, Ben...
Ben: You forgot my last name, didn't you?
Lindsey Meeks: No, I just... blanked.
Ben: No, I bet when you talk to your friends you call me Ben the School Teacher.
Lindsey Meeks: If you love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you.
Reporter at Spring Training: Where do the Sox rank in terms of importance in your life?
Ben: I say the Red Sox... sex... and breathing.
Lindsey Meeks: I saw you on ESPN.
Ben: Yeah, we looked like morons, didn't we?
Lindsey Meeks: Yah, yah, totally. Well, not you so much.
Ben: Well, it was Florida. It was hot.
Ben: That's not Yankee dancing - that's Devil Rays dancin'!
Robin: He's offering Ben $125,000 for his Red Sox tickets.
Sarah: Are you really that rich?
Sarah: Then why don't you dress better?
Lindsey Meeks: You don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the background. You see the Mariners are coming in, and Pedro's pitching Friday.
Ben: No, on Saturday. Schilling's Friday.
Ben: You're gonna get arrested.
Lindsey Meeks: You can't sell your tickets!
Ben: That's why you ran across the whole field?... Wait, you've got to tell me - was it spongy?
Ben: [while helping sick Lindsay into her pajamas] I won't look - I promise.
Ben: Okay, I looked.
Stephen King: Hey Ump, get off your knees. You're blowing the game!
Lindsey Meeks: At what point do you say to yourself, "I'm counting on you to be the one, and I have no fall back plan."?
Ben: ...you do this thing... it's so cute I wanna kill myself.
Al: Al Waterman, have a sponge.
Ben: [to his friends on megaphone] Quick break, everybody. There's some nice Pakistani cold cuts there, courtesy of Mrs. Segal.
Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in - business, music, art - I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like - not - not baseball. You can either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works...
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm.
Ben: You know?
Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's - it's safe.
Troy: Why do we inflict this on ourselves?
Ben: Why? I'll tell you why, 'cause the Red Sox never let you down.
Ben: That's right. I mean - why? Because they haven't won a World Series in a century or so? So what? They're here. Every April, they're here. At 1:05 or at 7:05, there is a game. And if it gets rained out, guess what? They make it up to you. Does anyone else in your life do that? The Red Sox don't get divorced. This is a real family. This is the family that's here for you.
Al: [voice over] Eighty-six years of bangin' our heads against the big green wall, but we finally did it. That part you know. That part everybody knows. But I got a story you don't know. It's about this schoolteacher friend of mine named Ben.
Al: [voice over] Oh, one more thing. You know that little player to be named later? Ben says if it's a boy, they'll name him Ted Williams Wrightman. If it's a girl, Carla Yastrzemski Wrightman. Let's all pray for a boy.
Viv: Johnny Damon, you got the sweetest ass in the league!
Sarah: Die, Nazi spin bitch!
Lindsey Meeks: Just take a hammer and kill me.
Lindsey Meeks: Bertie, no. Bertie don't eat that!
Ben: I like being part of something that's bigger than me, than I. It's good for your sould to invest in something you can't control.
Lindsey Meeks: You're a romantic. You have a lyrical soul. You can love under the best and worst conditions.
Uncle Carl: [after seeing little Ben is liking the Red Sox after his first game] Careful, kid. They'll break your heart.
Lindsey Meeks: [Exercising with her friends at the gym] I'm going to be 20+10 and what do I have to show for it... nothing but work!
Ben: What are you doing?
Kevin: Relax. I'm a doctor.
Ben: Yeah, well, not to pry, doc, but why are you shaving my balls?