Big Bird: Eh... who's Osiris?
Prince Sahu: Him.
[points at a fresco as ominous music plays]
Prince Sahu: The lord of the underworld.
Aloysius Snuffleupagus: A gangster?
Prince Sahu: I'm Prince Sahure of Egypt, son of the God Userkaf, king of kings, lord of the two lands, conqueror of the East and West, and fabulous fisherman.
Big Bird: Uh, you don't have a nickname, do you?
[the Museum is about to close, Big Bird has run off]
Olivia: Is everybody here? Let's count noses.
The Count: I will count them. One noses, two noses, three noses...
Olivia: No, no, no, I meant people.
[Bert and Ernie are looking at the painting of George Washington crossing the Delaware]
Ernie: You know what Bert, I bet George Washington caught a cold. He should have stayed home.
Bert: Do you think George Washington would stay in bed and open his Christmas presents?
Ernie: I don't know Bert.
Bert: No, sir, not the father of our country. He crossed the Delaware to New
Bert: To New
Ernie: If George Washington was going to New Jersey, why didn't he do what everybody does?
Bert: And what's that, Ernie?
Ernie: Take the George Washington Bridge, Bert.
[Cookie Monster sees a painting of fruit]
Cookie Monster: Me eat picture!
Bob: No, no, no, Cookie Monster. You can't touch the picture.
Cookie Monster: No, me don't want to touch, me want to eat.
Bob: No, you can't, nooooo!
Cookie Monster: Let me eat frame.
Bob: The sign, Cookie Monster, look at the sign.
[sees a sign that forbids eating pictures]
Cookie Monster: Please don't eat the pictures. Aw, this going to be long night.
David: I've got a real bad feeling that this museum is locked, and we are locked in the museum for the night.
Telly Monster: [greatly worried] David, what are we going to do now?
Oscar the Grouch: Well, I've got a suggestion. Let's panic!
Big Bird: Hi. Do you guard this museum?
Museum Security Guard: Yeah.
Big Bird: Well, good work! We were here all night, and nobody bothered us. Ta-ta.
Museum Security Guard: No you weren't. No.
Big Bird: [off screen] We were too.
Cookie Monster: Oh boy, oh boy! Egyptian Mummy. Hmm. Look like banana with picture on. Huh? It's three thousand years old? Huh! Should be ripe now!
Big Bird: Oh, the cat stopped. But where is the temple of Dender?
Aloysius Snuffleupagus: I wouldn't know, Bird. The only temple I've ever seen is Shirley Temple.
Demon: [confronting Sahu as Big Bird and Snuffleupagus stand beside him] Prince Sahu, every night for the past four thousand years, I asked you the same question. I have asked the question 1,600,041 times, and not once have you given me the correct answer. I can assure you it has been very boring for me, and it's probably useless to ask the question again. But since I have no choice for the 1,600,042nd time, you have ten seconds. Where does today meet yesterday?
Prince Sahu: In a museum.
Demon: [looking incredulous] Did you say, "in a museum"?
Prince Sahu: Yes.
Demon: Well... that's a considerable improvement over your previous answers.
[Everyone is looking for Big Bird]
Oscar the Grouch: Big Bird! Oh, I've searched everywhere, and there's no sign of that oversized finch! And if I see another masterpiece, I'll go mad! Pretty, gold frames, and there's no mud on them. Yuck!
[glances at another room]
Oscar the Grouch: I wonder what's in there.
[notices a sign]
Oscar the Grouch: Oh. Says uh..."These statues are from ancient Greece and Rome. Some are as much as 2,600 years old." Well, that's something.
Oscar the Grouch: "Because some of them fell of buildings, or were buried during earthquakes..." Heh, heh! "... or worn out by the sea, they are broken." Broken?
[enters the room]
Oscar the Grouch: Oh man! They ''are'' broken! Oh, really wrecked! Heh heh heh heh! Heaven! Why it's trash. The most beautiful trash I've ever seen!