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16 Years of Alcohol
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16 Years of Alcohol More at IMDbPro »

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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:

Pretentious drivel

Author: gary_mc from Manchester, UK
4 September 2003

Agreed, pretentious drivel, dull and impossible to care about! To me there were many, many problems with this film - the voiceover is very self-consciously attempting to be poetic but fails, most of the music is very irritating, loutish music for yobs not very popular even when originally released. The acting , Kevin McKidd's portrayal of Frankie is remarkably wooden for an actor that once showed such promise, how far he has fallen in such a short period of time. I suppose he suffered from poor direction, often the problem with a new and inexperienced director and producer afraid to keep his feet on the ground, pretentious aspirations have run riot, an attempt to make a "worthy" film, has unfortunately steered this ship on to the rocks of self indulgence. Agreed the story may be personal and minimal but in my opinion who should or could care about such ugly, cruel youths or their fates. I found my self almost immediately emotionally detached from all the characters though bored indifference. Comparisons to 'Ratcatcher' are truly laughable. Another film by a native of Edinburgh that made the Edinburgh Festival (historically automatic for any film ever made in Edinburgh) that also suffers from being shot on high definition for £450,000, for goodness sake with that amount of money the film could have easily been shot on superior 35mm film which would have made the film look much better rather than the 'Dogma' video looking quality print that I saw in Edinburgh, why do people working on tape always say that it looks so much like 35mm film, when to shoot on film would mean it would automatically look like film instead of automatically demoting the film to DVD/ Video sell through, because when projected the majority of cinema goers including myself hate paying to see washed out grainy, poor quality blown up video images. The direction will not move you I guarantee and as for the production values...who goes to see, rents or buys films for their production values? At the end of the day you pay your money to be entertained or moved and you will fail to receive either from this debut, sadly this film is pretentious drivel, the critics will slaughter it and the investors will loose their shirts, harsh but an economic truth. Yet another British embarrassment on its way to festivals guaranteed to be laughed at, with jaws dropped open in shock, by our American cousins.

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3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

For masochists or the mindless only!

Author: Paul Abbs from London
13 August 2004

I feel like I've been had, the con is on, don't fall for it. After reading glowing reviews (the Director was a film reviewer with Sky for years so must have a lot of mates in the press ready to do him a favour by writing favorable reviews) I expected solid acting, atmosphere, suspense, strong characterization, an intriguing plot development and poetic moments. Sadly, 'Sixteen years of Alcohol', doesn't deliver on the critics promises, for the most part, sacrifices these qualities in lieu of cheesy low budget special effects (what was that clichéd cobweb scene in there for?), unrealistic fight choreography and mindless mind numbing narration, cliché edits and camera angles.

'Sixteen years of Alcohol' starts off interestingly with some beautiful location shots in Scotland, but it's straight downhill from here. Unfortunately, instead of spending some time building atmosphere, creating characters we might care about, or building suspense - the director opts to begin driving you crazy with self indulgent heavy handed twaddle voice-over's. The lead characters are so unsympathetic and are so badly acted - the audience doesn't care what happens to them, desperate Actors do desperate this movie!. To make matters worse, the 'homage's' (typical of a director trying to pay his dues to past masters) are either utterly cliché or unconvincing. The soundtrack is the only thing that lifted me and kept me in the cinema but even that failed to support the dramatic narrative other connecting a period of time to the action.

For some reason the movie got increasingly flawed and to be quite honest annoying. I still watched the whole damn thing!

I guess I liked the attempt at gritty realism in the film but even that was destroyed when they were often inter-cut with weird and abstract, sometimes pointless scenes. You don't need a huge budget to make truly moving film, so much has been said about how little money they had to make this film, half a million is not a little bit of money...SO NO EXCUSES! Sometimes I wonder what the actors...Or their agents were thinking!

Pass on this turkey unless you're masochistic or mindless anyway....NOT MY THING


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3 out of 9 people found the following review useful:

Don't Bother seeing this load of tripe

Author: Dave (Davo66) from somewhere in cyberspace
10 June 2005

As others have pointed out this movie is a load of pretentious drivel for the mindless or masochists.

We all know after seeing trainspotting and acid house that Scotland is one of the most depressing places in the first world. But unlike trainspotting and acid house without a good dose of humour or gritty realism movies like this do not work. And even more importantly without a decent script a movie will not work and there is nothing new, inspiring or thought provoking about the script for this movie.

The fact that this movie won a couple of Bafta's shows how bad the British film industry is at the moment. I thought the Aussie movie industry was pretty bad at the moment but unfortunately the British industry is even worse.

This movie is so bad I wouldn't even bother renting it from the weeklies section.

Do yourself a favour and give this movie a wide berth.

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6 out of 15 people found the following review useful:

A new contender for worst film of all time!

Author: Lucian Bartlet from Florida, US
21 November 2003

How do I begin to review a film that will soon be recognized as the `worst film of all time' by the `worst director of all time?' A film that could develop a cult following because it's `so bad it's good?'

An analytical approach criticizing the film seems both pointless and part of band-wagon syndrome--let's bash freely without worry of backlash because every other human on earth is doing it, and the people who like the film like it for those flaws we'd cite.

The film's universal poor quality goes without saying-- 'Sixteen Years of Alcohol' is not without competition for title of worst film so it has to sink pretty low to acquire the title and keep a hold of it, but I believe this film could go the distance. IMDb doesn't allow enough words to cite all the films failures, and it be much easier to site the elements 'Sixteen Years of Alcohol' does right. Unfortunately, those moments of glory are so far buried in the shadows of this film's poorness that that's a task not worth pursuing.

My impressions? I thought I knew what I was getting into, I had been warned to drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to watch this one (wish that suggestion had been cups of Vodka). Despite my low expectations, 'Sixteen Years of Alcohol' failed to entertain me even on a `make fun of the bad movie' level. Not just bad, but obnoxiously bad as though Jobson intentionally tried to make this film a poetical yawn but went into overkill and shoved the poetry down our throats making it not profound but funny . .. and supposedly Jobson sincerely tried to make a good movie? Even after viewing the 'Sixteen Years of Alcohol' promotional literature, I have trouble believing Jobson's sincerity. Pointless and obnoxious till the end with a several grin/chuckle moments (all I'm sure none intentional)spiced the film, and those few elements prevented me from turning the DVD off. So bad it's good? No. It had just enough 'I can't believe this is a serious movie moments' to keep me from turning it off, and nothing more.

Definitely a film to watch with a group of bad-movie connoisseurs. Get your own running commentary going. That would've significantly improved the experience for me. So bad it's Mike Myers commentating in his cod Scottish accent on it as it runs, to turn this whole piece of sludge into a comic farce "Ok dare ma man, pass me annuder gliss of dat wiskey".

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0 out of 5 people found the following review useful:

If I made movies it would be hard to live up to this one !

Author: ( from United Kingdom
2 March 2005

If I gave out Oscars, this film would collect them all !

If I was nitpicking, I would say the dialogue was the best part ( but only by a little)

I wonder if it will be as good on the second viewing ? Maybe I won't watch it again, cos it was so perfect !!


p.s. whats this crap about minimum 10 lines ????

Should I pad it out with nonsense ?? Should I go on about the beautiful soundtrack ? Shouls I go on about the wonderful camera work ? what a hassle to post a comment !!!!

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