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The Ranch
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Reviews & Ratings for
The Ranch (TV) More at IMDbPro »

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16 out of 18 people found the following review useful:

Speechless! I am without speech.

Author: EvadRepus from Fairfield, OH
29 November 2004

Well, not really speechless, because I have a lot to say about this movie!

Before I went to rent this DVD, I had read reviews and descriptions about the movie on several sites. It's about the women who work at a brothel in Nevada, and phrases like "sexually explicit" and "T&A" were coming up more than once. Brothel? T&A? You pretty much know what to expect with this movie, right? So I go to the video store and read the cover, and the description is about what I had seen on the net; it even says "Rated R: Sexual content, Including dialogue". I think to myself, "This was made for Showtime, I wonder why it's even rated?", but I'm not really concerned, because I've seen several PG-13 movies that have a fair amount of T&A, so an R rated version of a movie made for pay-cable should still be more or less intact. Right?

Then I get it home and watch it, and I end up looking around the room for the hidden camera, because I know I must be being "Punk'd". Why? First, there is the "Sexual Content"; There is no nudity in this movie. None. Zero. No brief flashes, no side views, nada. And what about the "dialogue"? The F-word is clumsily (and obviously, just look at their mouths!) dubbed with words like "frick" and "heck", a**hole is replaced with "arrogant" and "blowhard", b!tch replaced with "witch", the phrase "BJ" is inserted where the actors mouths are clearly saying the two words that "BJ" stands for, etc., etc. I've done a bit more searching on the net, and have found out that there are both "Unrated" and "R-Rated" versions of the DVD. That's fine, many movies have an unrated release that adds a couple extra scenes or goes a little farther than the rated version did. But this "R" version could have aired on network TV! It certainly isn't family viewing, but it's nowhere near "R".

If you want to watch this flick for the plot alone, you'll probably be disappointed there, too. This was the pilot for a series that never materialized, so all the story lines are left hanging in the air; the movie just sort-of ends with no closure to anything. But if you want to watch this for, ahem, reasons other than plot, be sure to find the unrated version! That has to be the version other reviewers were talking about.

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16 out of 24 people found the following review useful:

Lame, tame, and more of the same

Author: George Parker from Orange County, CA USA
5 July 2004

Did you hear about the prostitute who went to confessions and recognized the priest's stuttering voice through the confessional screen as belonging to one of her customers? Probably not because I just made it up. The point is, "The Ranch" is far less creative than that as it takes you into a Nevada ranch-style brothel and a jambalaya of cliches and stereotypes. You'll see all manner of prostitute issues from health issues to security issues to social stigma issues to family issues...yadayadayada. You'll see ample T, some A, and some softcore stuff with plenty of frank sex talk in this dramady which plays out like part bad sitcom and part bad soap opera. What you won't see is originality, creativity, or the real deal. Yuck! (C)

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11 out of 16 people found the following review useful:

Ranch - y

Author: barnthebarn from Oxford, England
31 March 2005

The Ranch is amazingly thought provoking. Available in two versions, the uncut has added (and unnecessary) nudity. Paige Moss is a standout in a small role and Carly Pope features very briefly as sister to one of the main girls. What is amazing about this film is the sheer intensity of each womens phlight. One is on the run from a vicious pimp, another getting married but has not told the guy what she was, one is a talented singer, the list goes on. Each girl undergoes a voyage of self discovery and the viewer is left to ponder really serious dilemmas. Does it matter what someone you love has done previously?, Should you help a stranger in trouble?, Should you tell someone you love them regardless of pain it might cause?, Should you forgive your family against better judgement?, Should you try to understand strange people?, Should men be allowed? (a joke, obviously!). Watch this film if you can!

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8 out of 12 people found the following review useful:

surprisingly engaging, even with its problems

8/10
Author: irvthom1-1 from Seattle, WA, United States
30 November 2006

I didn't expect much of this film, but it somehow grabbed my interest and held it for the full length. I admit I was disappointed at the rather abrupt ending; it left the impression that the producers ran out of money, or film. But that being said, it was decently acted, and as another reviewer said, it presented thought-provoking concerns. I found myself rooting for those gals, most of them, which means the film made me care about their lives, and I consider that the mark of good theater.

As to the lack of real sex or actual nudity, I rank that as positive. It gave the expectedly raunchy plot-line a bit of unexpected class. I could better relate to these girls as real people with real issues.

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11 out of 18 people found the following review useful:

Be not fooled...

Author: tuttletale88 from United States
22 January 2006

...this film is not nearly as provocative as the cover would lead you to believe. The brief sex scenes are few and far between, and, apart from the bare breasts of many of its leading ladies (which earns this movie its four points), the skin shown is no more than would be found in a mainstream film. The sex itself is shown only in a comical manner, which is not only a letdown to men who watch it to be titillated, but to women who watch it to be emotionally moved. The strong female bonding aspect of the movie could just as easily have been portrayed without trying to gain access to the male demographic who would only spend their hard-earned 75 cents renting it because they thought it was some decent soft-core action.

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8 out of 13 people found the following review useful:

Pretty bad but guilty fun

Author: coolbluegreen
6 July 2004

I watched this because Susan Seidelman directed it. I guess she needs the work. I guess Amy Madigan (a respected actress and deservedly so) does too.

In the first case, it's not really a story. There's no cohesive story line with a beginning, middle, and end. It's more of a slice-of-life. Boy, is it silly and predictable. It portrays the lives of some prostitutes at a Nevada brothel. It has the requisite violence-against-a-prostitute scene. Can't one of these films NOT have that? Is there anything good about this movie? Well, Samantha Ferris, the actress who plays Taylor, has a smoldering sexuality and great appeal and Jessica Collins, the actress who plays Kim, is exceptionally lovely. Oh, Paige Moss, the chick who played Veruca on Buffy the Vampire Slayer plays a really mean prostitute named Rickie Lee -- always good to see a Buffy alum. However, this movie goes nowhere and resolves nothing. The songs are very good (especially the Erin Mckeown song) and all the actresses seem to have real breasts! Yes -- shocking -- I know -- but they all have real breasts! No silicone in sight -- astounding. It really made me think about how infrequently we see real breasts in plastic-surgery-crazed Hollywood productions anymore.

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5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:

Not a bad waste of time

7/10
Author: krago123 from Canada
15 August 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

It was an enjoyable hour-and-a-half, though it really had the feel of a made-for-TV movie. I found out later it was a pilot for Showtime, so it wasn't a big surprise.

Amy Madigan did a very good job, and seemed realistic in the role, not all Hollywood glamour. And as a Canadian, I got a kick out of seeing "Hank" from Corner Gas in a very tiny role.

One question: I liked the actress who portrayed the wife whose husband was a guest at the ranch (and later came by for sex lessons). But her character was never named in the movie, so I don't know who played her. Any guesses?

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7 out of 12 people found the following review useful:

I like the movie

10/10
Author: mexmodels from Las Vegas
30 May 2005

I liked the story,beautiful girls and the story gives you the life of different types of woman from the exploited one by her "proxeneta", the chic that wants to live a new life hiding her past without telling to her couple, the expertise in sex that wants to give her daughter what she didn't had, the lesbian one , etc, etc. I liked the stories because these woman have in common their good mood (except the Asian one) and share each other their experiences. It's rarely that I put attention on one whole film but this one called my attention , maybe because of the beauty of the girls, I don't know but I suggest this movie. Will this fill have a second part ? thank you

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14 out of 26 people found the following review useful:

The Ranch is a must see!

Author: rupala617 from Los Angeles, CA
28 November 2004

If you want an enticing, fun(ny) insightful, tug at your heartstrings kinda flick to see? See The Ranch! Beautifully shot. Beautiful girls. Beautiful story that leaves you wanting more… Grit laced in hope. Humanity laced in reality… People doing what they have to do… I think Lisa Melamed's poignant story is beautifully directed by Sex In The City's Susan Seidelman. Classic beauty Jessica Collins shares a moment/scene with Nicki Micheaux that is NOT to be missed. Paige Moss delivers a character that disturbs brilliantly. You feel Bonnie Root's character's broken dreams, and Samantha Ferris' simply wanting to be a good parent… All held together with Amy Madigan's nine millimeter! The Ranch is a MUST see!

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1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:

Surprisingly a GREAT movie!

Author: Anabanana21 from United Kingdom
16 October 2011

This is a movie that could of continued for another 2 hours and I wouldn't of minded nor thought about. I hated that it ended so soon, I was really into it, really behind all the characters. I feel the only mistake the film makers made was to have it end like it did, there was too much left over that needed to be answered. Like I said I could of continued to watch this a lot longer. The acting was superb, the story lines golden. It had the right amount of humour mixed in with the serious aspects. A true look at the behind scenes of a brothel. I even felt myself concerned for Rickie, she clearly had a lot of baggage that we just didn't get to see, only a small glint in her expression, there was more of a story to be told there. Same with Shayna and what happened with her fiancé, same with them all to be honest. I felt given more time in this movie they could have developed each character further because what they had created were a bunch of amazing characters that you wanted to watch grow. The writers, creators made a huge mistake cutting it so short, because they leave you with incomplete characters that really deserved a proper ending. So that would be the movies biggest flaw but apart from that I give it a 10 out of 10 because I would add this movie to my collection, its something I would watch again, I thoroughly enjoyed it just writers...get off you arses and complete the story please! Completely recommend this if you like a good story, and something real to watch. While they work in a brothel there is slim to non nudity, and barely any sexual content, which is good it means you can focus properly on the story, and the pornographic aspect doesn't completely take over. I know that was a worry of mine before I started watching but I was surprised.

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