White Collar Blue (2002–2003)

Peter O'Brien: Det. Joe Hill

Quotes 

• Det. Harriet Walker : [Joe and Harriet are watching the back entrance to a nightclub where Sophie and Theo are working undercover]  I wonder why we weren't chosen.

  Det. Joe Hill : What for?

  Det. Harriet Walker : The undercover gig.

  Det. Joe Hill : I don't know... you ever seen me dance?

  Det. Joe Hill : [Harriet chuckles]  Maybe we're too conspicious.

  Det. Harriet Walker : Don't tell me I've been assigned to the geriatrics' scrap heap at the age of 28.

  Det. Joe Hill : I'm happy you're out here.

• [the morning after Joe crashed a party at Harriet's house] 

  Det. Joe Hill : Look, I'm sorry about...

  Det. Harriet Walker : Don't worry about it. My friends thought you were quite entertaining.

  Det. Harriet Walker : [He chuckles]  In fact, Kaz thought you were more than funny. She asked me to give you her number.

  [Joe craks into a huge grin] 

• Det. Joe Hill : [to Sophie, about interrogating a teenage girl witness]  Look, you talk to her now because now's when we're going to ge the truth, not later when they've had a chance to think about it. You play the Big Sister routine if it works, but you be prepared to go hard on this one.

• Det. Harriet Walker : [holding up a bag of two ecstasy pills]  Where did you get these?

  Dirk Eikmeier : They're for my private use.

  Det. Harriet Walker : Where'd you get them from?

  Dirk Eikmeier : [Scoffs]  You guys are amazing. There's corporate cowboys out there ripping off millions of dollars, and you really care about a couples of eccies? I mean, dropping an e's a lot less dangerous than the amount of alcohol that many people put away these days...

  Det. Joe Hill : So you're doing this for the money. It's for ideological reasons you're bringing this stuff into the country.

• Dr. Worth : [during an interrogation, after Joe has accused a teenage boy of drugging his girlfriend at a party]  My son does not do drugs.

  Det. Joe Hill : What do you think they were doing? Sitting around the campfire, singing songs? Come on, what planet are you on?

• Det. Harriet Walker : [Joe is trying to find a babysitter for his daughter Lel]  Why do you need a babysitter?

  Det. Joe Hill : 'Cause I'm taking your crap advice and talking to my old man.

  Det. Harriet Walker : Do it at your place.

  Det. Joe Hill : Yeah, he walks through the door and he's won the argument.

  Det. Harriet Walker : Oh, what the hell... I'll babysit.

  Det. Joe Hill : [stunned]  Really?

  Det. Harriet Walker : What?

  Det. Joe Hill : Nothing. Thank you.

  Det. Harriet Walker : [hurt]  You wouldn't have asked me...

  Det. Joe Hill : No, it hadn't crossed my mind. But look, you're so touchy. Your offer is gratefully accepted. Thank you.

• Det. Joe Hill : [Theo is angry that Joe won't pressure Father Michael to give details about a dead body on Chruch grounds]  Theo, do you know what it means for a preiest to tell something he heard in confession? What Michael just did was huge.

  Theo Rahme : [suspicious]  You're a Catholic, aren't you?

  Sophia Marinkovitch : You got a problem with that?

  Theo Rahme : [gleefully]  I'll bet you went to Catholic school!

  Det. Joe Hill : Theo, you're a genius. You should be a detective.

• Det. Joe Hill : [Joe and Harriet meet Father Michael on the beach]  So you do this every Wednesday?

  Father Michael Connelly : Yeah, all weather, all year 'round. I just show up, the boys are referred by the parole officers.

  Det. Joe Hill : You just teach them how to surf?

  Father Michael Connelly : Yeah, well, I teach them self-esteem, cooperation, appreciation of small things.

  [points to one of the boys] 

  Father Michael Connelly : There's Brendan. Eight months ago he was in prison for assault, break and enter, stealing. Now he's got a job, pays his rent...

  Det. Harriet Walker : Goes to Church?

  Father Michael Connelly : Well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

  Det. Joe Hill : Brendan McTierney.

  Father Michael Connelly : You know him?

  Det. Joe Hill : Put him away.

• Det. Joe Hill : [Kaz shows up at the station without notice]  What the hell are you doing here?

  Kaz : You've got to tell her sooner or later...

  Det. Joe Hill : Who?

  Kaz : Harriet! She's my best friend and I can't keep lying to her.

  Det. Joe Hill : It's not lying, it's just...

  Kaz : Not telling her a goddamn thing!

  Det. Joe Hill : Yeah, well, I'm just trying to keep my private life private.

  Kaz : Well, she's starting to ask questions.

  Det. Joe Hill : Alright then, I'll tell her.

  Kaz : Thank you.

  Det. Joe Hill : I just need to find the right moment... you know how sensitive Harriet can be.

  Kaz : Oh, geez, Joe...

  Det. Joe Hill : What am I supposed to do? Walk up to her, crying, and say 'Look, here's the bad news, this guy's been hit in the head with an axe... but the good news is I'm screwing your mate!'

  Kaz : Works for me.

• Vincent : [Examining a victim at the crime scene]  It doesn't look like his neck's broken, so I don't know what's killed him. But it's too soon to tell.

  Det. Joe Hill : How did I know you were going to say that, Vincent?

  Vincent : Because you're an excellent judge of character, Joe.

• Det. Joe Hill : When was the last time you went to see a band?

  [Harriet shrugs and doesn't say anything] 

  Det. Joe Hill : You've never been to see a band, have you? Just a little chamber music...

  Det. Harriet Walker : You're changing the subject, again.

• Det. Harriet Walker : Joe, you're wearing odd socks.

  Det. Joe Hill : It's a fashion statement.