Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
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Index 319 reviews in total 

2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Jolie in tight outfits. shame the film is little else

Author: TheNorthernMonkee from Manchester
1 September 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***


For a long time the worlds of cinema and video games have been interlinked. For every film which has it's own game released, one game has a film created in the opposite direction. In 1993 we were introduced to the Bob Hoskins' picture "Super Mario Brothers" based on the original game. Eventually it wasn't long before the Lara Croft series would continue this route and therefore in 2001 the first "Tomb Raider" film was released. Whilst this first outing was a suitable story with relevance to the original series, the 2003 sequel was shocking in the fact that it was awkward, badly written and badly filmed. Ultimately, not even Angelina Jolie in tight outfits and bikinis could save this film from the rubbish dump where it belongs.

In this second film, Jolie's Lara Croft is dispatched off around the world in the search of Pandora's Box, also referred to as "The Cradle Of Life". Along the way, Croft picks up an exlove in the shape of Terry Sheridan (Gerard Butler) as she attempts to prevent greedy, virus dealer Jonathan Reiss (Ciaran Hinds) from unleashing an awful plague across the globe.

In James Hart's story, the idea of "Tomb Raider" dies a painful death. Whilst the original story was clever and intriguing with Croft travelling around the world with her butler Hillary (Chris Barrie) not far behind, this second adventure was relatively limited in location and with more violence than thought process. The first inspired people to think and actually focus on such a mindless film. In contrast, "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle Of Life" is monotonous and infuriating. This film is in fact so pointless that the brain rots as you slowly watch more of it.

As well as the awful script, this film suffers from a lack of acting ability. Whilst Chris Barrie's butler has evolved from a butler to a ridiculous comedy figure, Angelina Jolie has increased her posh English accent and produced a truely hideous performance. It's a shame actually because Jolie has the perfect body and appearance to represent Croft, but she just makes the role slightly too hilarious to be taken serious. Jolie has a nice body, ridiculously good in a black bikini, but mentally the actress is too stressed to provide a suitable performance.

Ultimately this second "Tomb Raider" film suffers from a lack of plot and a bit too much special effects. The thought process of the series and game have been removed in favour of Jolie in tight outfits and pointless elements. In some films this could work, sadly in the "Tomb Raider" series, it doesn't.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

They made another one?

Author: themarina1 from Vancouver, BC
8 December 2003

I wanted to like this movie but I couldn't. I'm always up for girl kicking butt movies but this one really wasn't great. Yes, she looks good. Yes, she has guns. Yes, she has gorgeous hair but give me a break!!! This movie was really bad! Even the plot was pathetic and sad. I fell asleep halfway through and had to be brought back to life a few minutes later. Sadly, my wake up call also made me watch the 10 minutes I had missed. What a disaster this was. I can't possibly see another of these movies being made in the near future.

4/10 (She has to get SOMETHING for looking good....)

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

pandora's trash

Author: dertilee from Athens, Greece
5 October 2003

90 million dollars, exotic locations, an exciting and all-suggesting leading lady and... what? This? Incoherent, underwritten, flashy, trashy and close to the naively insulting. It could have been exciting interesting and magnificent but no they had to go and make it like a videogame ! Well, haven't they heard the news? 10 year olds are not the only film audience in the world. Now let them reap the poor box office and count the loss. It takes more than this to make the female combination of James Bond and Indiana Jones: it takes the art of cinema...

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

special effects reasonable, story line: nil

Author: Bernhard from Netherlands
6 September 2003

The special effects are spectacular but, in many cases, way over the top. Special effects have to have some modicum of "it might be possible to do this". If not, it becomes Star Wars, or worse.

The Story line is totally impossible and incoherent. It jumps from one location to the next without reason or rhyme.

A film that should have gone straight to the video rental stores. This is not even a B-movie.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Worse than the first

Author: tomlerher from Corvallis, OR
4 September 2003

As a fan of the Tombraider video game, and of Angelina Jolie, as well as a fan of the original film, I was raring to see this film. Especially after many critics claimed it was better than the first. I'm not sure exactly what made them say that, but boring action scenes, mostly poor dialog, and less screen time for Christopher Barrie made for a far worse film than the first. If you are going to make a tongue-in-cheeck action film, you don't need a believeable plot, or a brilliant script, but you do need exciting action sequences and funny one-liners. There were perhaps 3 scences in this movie that weren't boring, not worth the $6 I paid (yes, I only paid $6, I'm a student, and I'm not in a metro area).

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

How boring.

Author: aris-6 from Philadelphia, USA and Thessaloniki, Greece
30 August 2003

I liked the first Tomb Raider and I like Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft. But frankly if it wasn't for her, I would not have stayed till the end of The Cradle of Life. I would also suggest the Hollywood screw-up-writers to take some lessons on Greek Mythology and History and not to place Alexander the Great before the volcanic eruption of the Island of Thera (Santorini). Or quit their job.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Female James Bond meets Indiana Jones

Author: moviedude1 from Minneapolis, MN, USA
3 August 2003

Lara is back on the trail of the bad guys! This time, with a little help from an old "friend," she's trying to protect the legendary Pandora's box from falling into to hands of the bad guys.

This film has it all! Mystery, suspense, adventure/action, and a little bit of romance thrown in, too! Jolie has outdone herself in this movie. I really never got into the last Tomb Raider film, but this one doesn't let you go! If there ever was a film that does NOT quit moving, this is it!

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

I'm surprised ANYONE liked this film

Author: Capt_comicbook from Kansas City
31 July 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Let me say, that I was shocked to see comments on this site that included words like "awesome" and "action-packed" and "I loved it..."

This was quite possibly the single worst example of screenwriting, and directing I have EVER seen. This film was so full of holes I find it hard to believe that even "dim-wits" could suspend thier disbelief. Here are a couple of the MAJOR plot problems Possible Spoilers

1. After loosing the orb and her Greek friends, we see Croft beating at her butler: saying that they must search all of greek history for every mention of an orb.... then she goes on a horsey ride, comes back, gets mad at some very un- impresive looking MI-5 agents and describes in great detail what the orb is.

2. Who in thier right mind would try to land a helicopter in a Chinese courtyard surrounded by power-lines and wires?

3. At the Honk Kong mall disease factory, Laura and the villains are have a prolonged gun fight and to escape, she jumps through a window.... It is then that the people in the mall run for thier lives.

4. When did her boy friend call in the jump packs? These are just a few things, and I might be wrong about them.... I was getting sleepy due to boredom.

Honestly, I like Jolie. For the first time she looks like a full fledged woman in this film, but hopefully some one who knows more about compelling movies gets to direct the next installment.

Only watch this movie if you have a free rental, and there isn't anything better than 'From Justin to Kelly'

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

She doesn't jump the shark-- SHE PUNCHES HIM

Author: RockytheBear ( from Chicago
29 July 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***


There's one thing I hate worse than a movie with no nudity-- a movie that teases us with implied nudity and never delivers. Angelina Jolie, whose days of not being in Playboy are numbered, plays Lara Croft in the world's most boring action movie. People, I don't ask for much; I do realize every movie is not going to be the next D.C. Cab. Just a nipple or two is enough to keep me awake-- but this film is so boring!!!! Yes, Angelina is one hot piece of meat. There were plenty of scenes that had guys in my theater take multiple bathroom breaks. But even a nice rack and a great set of DSL's can't get this movie off the ground.

The movie starts off with her underwater searching for some stupid yellow ball, and as soon as she finds it, it's stolen from her. Her two man crew is immediately killed (you can always smell a death scene coming-- they were just too happy to live.) Lara is stranded under water. In order to get to the surface, she cuts her flesh and lets the blood flow so that a shark will smell it. Pay attention very closely to my following sentence: Once the shark comes, Lara Croft punches him in the face! Reader, you are not hallucinating, and to prove it, I will say it again: SHE PUNCHES HIM IN THE FACE. Then, she rides his fin to the top of the water. This is without a shadow of a doubt the absolute dumbest thing I have ever seen in cinema history. Period. Moving on...

She finds out this stupid yellow ball is a map that leads to Pandora's box. According to legend, this box was opened and its contents started life. The box was then closed before the rest of the contents (sickness and disease) were spread throughout the world. Okay, riddle me this: If the box's contents started life, then who opened the box?? Furthermore, who made the box? See how stupid movies have gotten? And the summer is the absolute worst time of all. I call it Mongoloid Season, because I take it that's all Hollywood intends to enjoy these summertime films.

Lara meets up with her best friend, slash ex lover, slash felon, slash horrible actor named Terry Sheridan. Terry is tough. Why? Because he has a five o'clock shadow, wears a leather coat, and does push ups on the ceiling. I mean, what did the tough guys in your neighborhood do? Anyway, she needs his help, and I have no idea why. She does any and everything in this movie except reverse the earth, but I'm sure they're saving that for the next sequel. She and Terry soon get on some motorcycles and this part marks the first chase scene I've ever seen where no one chases anything.

The movie's bad guy is some guy named Reiss, who's about as scary as Eddie Deezen. I don't even really know what he was trying to do. I thought all bad guys were after one of 2 things: money, or world domination. But no, this guy has some childhood dream of spreading sickness throughout the land. I don't see the benefit, but hey-- that's just me. Different strokes.

The movie takes us to many locations, each one more boring than the last. Djimon "I Will Forever Play A Big Black African" Hounsou plays Lara's tour guide and translator during the African section of the movie. Poor guy. He is suffering from a severe case of Michael Clarke Duncan-itis. Maybe one day we'll see him play an accountant. And maybe one day Pamela Anderson will win an Oscar.

The name of this movie should have been Lara Croft: Jedi Knight, because this chick does it all. She knows your moves before you do, she defies gravity, she even charms her way into a family's home and temporarily sabotages it. But in the end, she kills her man over Pandora's Box because of course, it's all about the craft of archeology and not the money. Yeah right. And that's why she's called a tomb RAIDER. Gimme a friggin' break. I'll give it 2 stars (one for each breast) but as far as everything else goes, the film sucks just like the first one. I pray to the gods of all things holy that there is no sequel...

* * stars out of 5.

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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:

Headache-inducing Cradle of Death is more like it. SPOILER!

Author: Oscar
28 July 2003

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Dear Ms. Jolie and Mr. DeBont:

First - Ms Jolie. I love you. I think you are a great actress. However, you need to remember this when you sign on to a script such as this. YOU and Lady Croft both deserve much better material. You must realize - upon seeing the film - that it is the small moments that work best, and they are the only moments that work in this film.

Mr. DeBont - one would have thought that you would have learned your lesson after debacles such as SPEED 2 and THE HAUNTING. Bigger is not necessarily better, and we all know that louder never means better. The noise that accompanies this film is deafening, and I understand that you must have been using it to make up for a script. You did do two things right when you cast Djimon Honsou and Gerard Butler, but unfortunately every other decision you made during this production goes awry. Not even Ms. Jolie can save this.

Good news in the end, though. Ms. Jolie - your next picture can not be any worse than this, so you have no where to go but up. That's a good thing for people like me who are devoted fans.

Mr. DeBont - again, your track record is getting worse and worse. Maybe it is time for you to take a break from directing and go back to being a cinematographer for a while?

Sincerely, Oscar

PS - Bruce from FINDING NEMO looked more realistic than the shark you concocted for this misfire.

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