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Terror Toons, starring porn icon Lizzie Borden and Beverly Lynne, has a bad
porn feel to it, only without the titillating sex and nudity. And cohesive
Candy and Cindy are sisters left home for the night when their dad and "mom" leave for a wedding. Cindy receives a DVD called Terror Toons, which unleashes supposed cartoon characters Dr. Carnage and Max Assassin.
I'll give Beverly Lynne and Kelly Liu credit, they at least try to do a halfway decent job, but they are let down by their director and the special effects department. Joe Castro doesn't so much film as he just happens to keep a camera in the room as his story unfolds. The special effects would be laughable if they weren't so nauseating...not nauseating in the sense of "ooh, brains" but in the sense of "ooh, special effects goop."
It took one person to come up with the story, and three to come up with the script. What exactly took three people? The tired cartoon characters running through doors in a hallway? The cop who likes donuts? Strip Ouija?
This is a horrible, hateful little movie that will make you wonder about humanity's capacity to come together and put together something so unbelievably awfully. Stay away from it.
We were perusing the local Blockbuster for horrible 80s horror movies and
found not one but two, yes TWO TWO TWO, copies of TERROR TOONS.
If you want to read more about how horrible the movie was read any of the comments below. Personally, we thought it was the best laugh in a while. There aren't many movies that you can easily get confused with porn by the lack of plot or the girl in the bathtub with the fake boobs singing Rubber Ducky with the wrong lyrics and walking around wearing soap bubbles.
Anyway, if you need a good laugh or want to convince your child that they shouldn't go to film school, rent or buy this movie. Apparently Blockbusters around the globe have this `movie' in stock so go get it today before it self-destructs.
Unbearable. I don't even know where to begin on this other than saying
that this was, by far, the worst movie I personally have ever seen.
For one, it was obvious that Candy was supposed to be around the age of 7 or 8, but was played by a porn star of about 25. What made this even worse was the fact that the camera shot on her obviously fake breasts was too long to even allow the viewer to even consider her being under the age of 10.
The rest of the cast, characters probably set around the age of anywhere from 17 - 19, should either be preparing for their first cooperate job or an early pre-metapause.
Before I even watched the film, I watched the trailer for Terror Toons, behind the scenes of Terror Toons and Interviews with the cast and crew.
From the trailer, I was disappointed the minute the cartoonish villains made their appearance. I had seen the case to this 'movie' in my local Blockbuster and from reading the information I imagined the 'house party' being a large group of 15 or more people being terrorized by creatures the size of your standard puppet. When I saw the life-sized insult to horror that was Doctor Carnage and Max Assassin and the four person party I was shocked at how wrong I was.
During the interviews with the actors and crew members, I could come to the conclusion that this movie would be filth. When interviewing the actor who played Eddie on what his most memorable scene was for him he couldn't even remember the two monsters who not only terrorized the four-some of 'teens' but the viewers as well. Then when the actress who played Amy was asked what she thought when she was told the movie would be shot in 3 days (God Save Us!) she said 'I'm not very good at memorizing lines and saying them so I was shocked!' all I could think was, 'So, she's basically telling us she's a terrible actress then?' And you don't know how right I was.
And, what was up with the random animated animals just popping up from the corner of the screen through out the movie? Not to mention the super hero! My god and what was with the ending?
I think that the house, though very cool, only added to the monstrosity of the movie. The vibrantly colored walls, covered in flames or stars, just made it look like a cheap movie that was shot to serve as a movie a character would watch in a major budget movie.
The only thing that was even remotely amusing about his movie was the mother of the two girls played by a man in drag.
From start to finish, this so called film was filled with bad acting, bad directing, bad writing and all around just a bad movie. At one point in the movie I was hoping that Max Assassin and Doctor Carnage would break into a mad, 'comedic' way and do away with me.
I let four weeks and four trips to Blockbuster go by before I decided on renting this movie and wish I would have forgotten all about it.
I can sum up everything wrong with this movie in one simple phrase. 'There were only two things wrong with this movie The camera lens was off and the sound was on'
Having said all of this I am going to allow myself to be an immensely huge walking contradiction. Despite Terror Toons', and it REALLY was a terror, horrid EVERYTHING, if I do see that my local Blockbuster does have a copy of Terror Toons: The Sick And Silly Show (the highly unanticipated sequel) I just might rent it. I do believe that people can learn from their mistakes and not hire porn stars or 30 year olds to play teenagers in a horror movie.
Though the movie did do a number on my mind and eyes (God, I hope I can forget about this movie someday) I think it did even more of a number on the actors and crew members even more. Just think these poor people with have to live with the fact that this movie is on the resumes forever.
2/10 --- The drag queen really saved them on this one.
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*
When will I learn? What cosmic event needs to shake me from my slumber? For some reason, the idea of cartoon characters coming to life and killing people appealed to me. I foresaw a "Roger Rabbit" rampage kind of movie.
Instead you get two idiots, in obvious plastic masks, attacking this group of people on a super cheap set. It was painful. There is a lot of gore but it's all cheap and terrible. Just parading animal guts in front of the screen is not going to give gore satisfaction. I could go to the butcher at the grocery store if I wanted that.
And what was with the "younger" sister? She had huge breasts and did not get naked. Did NOT get naked. Why? Why I ask? The movie had nothing else going for it. Why not spring the extra $20 bucks? That's how cheap this movie was. Couldn't afford nudity but had a bucket full of cheap blood.
The main appeal of two cartoon characters attacking was a lie. A gross lie. It was just two dorks in masks being goofy. Load my gun. I got to take this movie outside and end it all.
LMAO!!!!!!!! i LOVED this movie. yes, it was bad, the acting was horrible, the special effects cheap as hell, but ya know, i was highly amused. I have seen other movies by this guy though, and his crew "brain damage video"....all of the movies are just horribly wonderful. don't expect any awards for these.... they all look like they are made with a $200 budget, and, most of the actors/actresses are from porn...hey, everyone needs a break..haha. can't wait to see the sequal to this.
This is a campy gorefest, if you are looking something serious, i think
that you can skip this one.
There is gore (pretty well made) and the classic "Teen party massacre", the movie is surreal and very weird. The movie has some "humorous" cartoon style scenes, that makes the movie even more weird.
The only problem that i have with the movie are the green screen effects, i am not a big fan of green screen.
Why i am one of the few "suckers" who enjoyed the movie ? Probably because i never expect "Titanic" or "Inception" when i watch a movie, honestly, i rather see a low-budget and independent movie like this, rather than a big-budget and ultra-predictable Hollywood movie.
For some reason I seem to have a thing for picking bad movies. After Leprechaun 4, Killjoy 2 and Surf Nazis Must Die I thought it couldn't get much worse. Unfortunately I was wrong, because I watched Terror Toons. Sure, the budget for this movie was $2300, but why waste $2300 to make an all time hideous movie like this one? Trust me, you will not have one reason to watch this movie, although I can understand you get curious after reading all these reviews saying it's bad and you want to find out yourself, I had that a couple of times, but this time the reviewers are right! Don't do it! Don't watch it! Don't waste your money (or bandwidth) on trash like this. Don't say we didn't warn you :)
This movie was just deplorable. First off, the back of the box says it clocks in at 110 minutes. The "film" ends at around 70 minutes, and then there credits and a bunch of bloopers. Not that im complaining, as an hour still was too long for this piece of crap. Now, im a big camp fan, i love b-movies and cult flicks, but this is so dumb its mind numbing. And that porn actress looking lady "lizzie borden" acting like a seven year old was creepy. If you want to see something sad, watch the behind the scenes stuff on the dvd and listen to the "actors" talk about how their characters spoke to them. Id give this a .3 out of 10 just due to the fact that they were able to distribute this.
I Just can not believe it, why god why?
Well when I saw the DVD cover at my Brother shop, it looked funny, I mean bad funny! Before I put the DVD on, I knew it was going to be bad. so bad it was good!
but I was not ready for THE HORROR I saw! This is the worst horror movie, there is no other horror movie that can be as bad as this!
This movie with girl that tires to look like Britney spears and huge boobs and did not help acting skills The casting of this movie total mess, if whoever did the casting was drunk or on high! The girl mum is bloody man! for god sake and it get even worse the Cartoon deaths were so utter rubbish I Had it enough of this movie and turn it off
The worst think about this movie is it made me feel really sick 1 mark is way to high for this movie
This movie is horrible. Not only is it not worth your time to sit and watch it, it is torture to watch. My brother was watching it and I happened to be in the same room while he was watching it and there is one word I would use to describe this movie: TRASH! The acting is terrible, the script is crap, the special effects are non existent. This is not even a movie, it's a waste of a tape, it's a sad excuse for something to be considered a so called movie. Do yourself a favor and DO NOT WATCH THIS, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! The only way I would suggest watching this is if you would like to torture yourself, if you would like to torture yourself then by all means watch this movie. I don't even think anyone who was high could appreciate this movie, in fact I think this movie might drive people to get high. Well anyway if your looking for a good movie to rent at the video store rent anything other than this, believe me you'll be sorry if you rent this.
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