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The Mother (2003)

R  |   |  Drama, Romance  |  18 June 2004 (USA)
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Ratings: 6.9/10 from 3,449 users   Metascore: 72/100
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A grandmother has a passionate affair with a man half her age, who is also sleeping with her daughter.



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Nominated for 1 BAFTA Film Award. Another 1 win & 11 nominations. See more awards »



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Complete credited cast:
Au Pair
Harry Michell ...
Rosie Michell ...
Izabella Telezynska ...
Polish Cleaner
Carlo Kureishi ...
Sachin Kureishi ...
Simon Mason ...
Man in Tate Gallery
Jonah Coombes ...
Estate Agent


Toots and May's marriage is one of Toots being dependent on his wife. Shortly after Toots and May arrive in London to visit with their grown children Bobby and Paula and their respective children, Toots falls ill and dies. Toots' death brings to the surface the underlying strain that has always existed between May and both of her two children, and the unhappy lives they have all led. Now specifically with Paula, May is disapproving of her relationship with a construction worker named Darren. Not only does May think his occupation makes him beneath Paula, he's also a married man. Darren is in an unsatisfying marriage but doesn't want to leave it if only because of his son. Even after May gets to know and like Darren, she still encourages Paula to break up with him. The issue is is that May herself has fallen in love with Darren, the two who begin a sexual relationship. What will ultimately happen between May and Darren also depends on Darren, who is floundering in his own life and ... Written by Huggo

Plot Summary | Plot Synopsis


It can take a lifetime to feel alive.


Drama | Romance

Motion Picture Rating (MPAA)

Rated R for sexual content including graphic images of sexuality, language and brief drug use | See all certifications »

Parents Guide:





Release Date:

18 June 2004 (USA)  »

Also Known As:

A Mãe  »

Box Office


£1,500,000 (estimated)

Opening Weekend:

£59,077 (UK) (14 November 2003)


$1,062,253 (USA) (5 November 2004)

Company Credits

Show detailed on  »

Technical Specs


Sound Mix:


Aspect Ratio:

1.85 : 1
See  »

Did You Know?


Bobby's children are played by Roger Michell's children. See more »


When Darren and Toots are discussing cricket, the reflections of crew equipment and the camera dolly mount are visible in the glass of the sunroom windows. See more »


May: Therapist?... Why can't you talk to your hairdresser like everyone else?
See more »


Features The Big Knights (1999) See more »


Clint Eastwood
Written by Damon Albarn, Jamie Hewlett and Del Tha Funky Homosapien
Published by EMI Music Publishing Ltd
Courtesy of EMI Records Ltd
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User Reviews

Michell redeems himself
7 June 2004 | by (Guayaquil, Ecuador) – See all my reviews

It's hard to imagine a director capable of such godawful crap as 'Notting Hill' pulling off something as sensitive and as attractive as this, but well, here's the evidence and it's quite compelling. Several have alluded to TV drama, and yes, this does have a seventies Play for Today feel at times, but is always a cut above, mainly I think owing to some quite superlative acting from Anne Reid and to a fine script which shadow-boxes with cliché without ever getting one on the nose, except maybe right at the end. (I didn't like either the tracking shot of indifferent goodbyes through the hallway, nor the oh-what-a-beautiful-morning final scene: she deserved a more studied finale than that I think, after all that hard work. The slippers business was a bit OTT too, on reflection).

What I mean about avoiding cliché: well, I for one had a sinking expectation that the "mature" man May's daughter tries to set her up with would be cast in 2 dimensions as a repulsive old bore, so as to point the contrast more painfully with the attractive, virile young geezer he is unwittingly competing with. Instead, we get an unexpectedly subtle and sympathetic cameo of a lonely, clumsy, not entirely unlikeable and very human fellow, who nevertheless doesn't have much of a clue about entertaining a woman. It was around that point I started to sit up and pay more attention. Here was a script that let the actors breathe and do something interesting with fairly minor parts. Almost Mike Leigh in that respect (minus the contrived catharses that the latter inexplicably goes in for).

And of course I was, as everyone probably was, dumbfounded by what Anne Reid does with her character and with her body. She's /not/ "the repressed, dutiful housewife discovering herself for the first time", this is far too simplistic for the character we have. Again and again there are allusions to her having been a "bad housewife", not to mention that thing she does with trays, trying to look nurturing and comely and only succeeding in looking awkward. The daughter accuses her of having "sat in front of the TV all day" instead of, well, whatever her motherly duties might be presumed to have been: she has no answer. She never was a model wife and mother, at least not to herself - that's where a lot of the poignancy comes from, the sense of someone having wasted a life trying to fulfil a role she simply wasn't good at, ever.

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